Chapter 547

〈 Episode 547 〉[Yuri Side Story] Blazing Phoenix 001

This story might have happened, or maybe not.

* * *

“Ahh, damn it.”

The moment I opened my eyes, I instinctively knew something was wrong.

“Ah, ah, aaaaaaaaah.”

No matter how much I talk, the voice coming out isn’t mine—it’s “her” voice that I’ve been hearing for days.

“What do I do…?”

Even worse, honorifics keep slipping out when I speak.

Why? How? Is this person who I am now someone who naturally speaks in polite tone?

Nope.

“Why are honorifics coming out…?”

[That’s because you’ve possessed this body.]

“Holy crap, you scared me!”

I genuinely jumped at the sight of a blue bird emerging from magma.

Blue bird? Short legs, chubby body, tiny flapping wings—it looked like some kind of weird penguin hybrid.

“Who are you?”

[You know very well why you’re asking.]

“Well, if I admit it, I’d officially be insane.”

[You’re already plenty insane.]

The blue bird perched atop my head.

[You, possessed by Blazing Phoenix. Me, Blazing. Original owner.]

“Wait… seriously?”

[Don’t curse using my body!]

Poke.

Ow! My forehead got jabbed by its beak, and it really hurts. No blood comes out, but I can feel something strange flowing down my brow.

Oh, is that magic power?

“How did this happen?”

[You possessed me, and I read all your memories. Now I’ve fully realized I’m a spirit.]

“…Hold on. If Blazing has become self-aware, doesn’t that complicate things?”

[Don’t overthink it.]

Poke. Another stab to the forehead. At this rate, I might need to wear some kind of protective headgear.

[Just forget about all your worries and live however you want.]

“Huh?”

What kind of bizarre… no, bird-brained idea is this?

“Don’t people usually kill those who possess their bodies or curse them or something?”

[Why would I? Puheheh, how could I harm someone who loves me so much?]

“…If you say so…”

Since she claims to have read my memories, there’s no way I can resist. She probably knows everything about me—probably even stuff I don’t want her to know…

[Like how you roleplayed as my daughter during the game?]

“……Kill me now.”

[Puheheh, impossible.]

The blue bird, which insists it’s Blazing, hopped off me and settled comfortably with folded hands.

“So what should I do now? Will meeting Seongju make my uterus go cuckoo and trigger a bad ending?”

[Ah, don’t worry about that. Thanks to you awakening me, brainwashing no longer works on me.]

“……”

Though I wanted to question the logic, I had no choice but to trust Blazing’s words.

“Are you sure brainwashing won’t affect you anymore?”

[Of course.]

“If some otherworldly god shows up and wrecks havoc, aren’t we both dead?”

[We just need to remove the cause of such gods appearing.]

“If the cause is Cube and Seongju… oh!”

I think I understand Blazing’s plan.

“Destroy all Cubes, gather strength, and prevent Seongju from reaching Earth?”

[Not necessary. We only need one Cube.]

“…?”

[Trust me and move. For now… let’s go outside.]

Blazing pointed at the ceiling. The space filled with dripping magma seems artificially created to allow me to breathe.

“One more question before we go out.”

[What is it?]

“If we can handle Seongju and the otherworldly gods without issue, can I return to being male?”

[Why do you want to go back to being male?]

“Well, because I want to bang Blazing.”

[Puheheh.]

Since my thoughts are already readable, I decided to go all out. Hiding my feelings and emotions won’t do any good anyway, right?

[Sorry, but that won’t happen. I’ll be the one doing all the seducing.]

“Huh?”

[This world prefers girl-on-girl百合 action over heterosexual sex!]

“……”

Even if Blazing likes snails or girls, isn’t this taking it too far?

“Shouldn’t I be the one seducing you instead of the other way around?”

[To teach you the joy of deep thigh locks?]

“…Man, I’m losing it. Listen, I used to dominate heroines with just a dong. Now you’re telling me to bang without one?”

[Relax. I’ll take care of everything. Just lie back and enjoy.]

“……”

Am I going to get forcibly yuri-raped once we step outside? Where did my masculine dignity disappear to?

“Can I ask one more thing?”

[Sure.]

“……Is it possible?”

[……Ahahaha!]

Blazing burst into clear laughter.

“Don’t laugh. I’m serious here.”

[It’s technically possible. But later on, you’ll probably beg me to detach it.]

“I will never do that.”

For my pride.

“Sorry, Blazing, but I intend to turn you into a futanari.”

[Already planning ahead when we haven’t even started yet?]

“…Guess you really did read my mind.”

[Exactly. Heh, I’m treating you nicely because I read your memories. Otherwise, I’d have burned your soul hundreds of times by now.]

“You seem like the type who’d erase my memories after burning me…”

[Puheheh.]

Blazing just chuckled and dissolved into a blue flame, merging with my body.

[Let’s get moving.]

‘Where to?’

[Wherever the body takes us. But do you know where I truly want to go?]

“…Sigh.”

Ultimately, we have no choice but to head there.

The place where every story begins and ends.

“To think I’d find my hometown in a game world… all thanks to a strawberry dessert shop…”

[Big Brother, let’s goooo!!]

“……”

Following Blazing’s instructions, I soared high into the sky.

[Don’t start flying randomly while you’re excited.]

“What should I do then?”

[Get an American citizenship properly first. Don’t fly recklessly and end up getting shot down by missiles.]

“……??”

What kind of idiot would do that? I couldn’t help but feel bewildered.

* * *

Honk honk—!

Car horns blared loudly. Everywhere, F-words flew around, and people were full of irritation and hostility.

“Chaos everywhere.”

I adjusted my baker’s hat and pushed through the crowd, moving forward.

Dare anyone touch me? Nope. They’d rather run away from monsters than mess with me.

“What should we do, Boss?”

“Just give the order, and we’ll take care of it.”

Around me stood blonde, blue-eyed women in suits, forming a protective circle. Their gazes radiated a fierce determination to protect me with their lives.

Even though they’re all B~A Rank, much weaker than me.

“That’s enough. Don’t waste magic power reviving cores unnecessarily. Just focus on survival. Heroes will handle it.”

“Boss, you’re tsundere-ing again.”

“…Where did you learn that word?”

With a sigh, I stood up. The pub was already empty except for us.

“Kyaaaaaa!!”

“Monster! Monster!”

Screams erupted everywhere. The city descended into chaos, and I casually flicked my fingers toward a distant skyscraper where a hunchback-like monster leapt around.

“Cut.”

Phew.

I blew on my fingertip like extinguishing a match and turned away. Though it was typical showboating, not doing it would somehow leave me feeling incomplete.

[Impressive pose.]

‘It’s not posing; it’s impressive. With this face and body, how could it not be?’

[Your acknowledgment means a lot. Speaking of which, how about a nice thigh lock with those subordinates whose uteruses are going cuckoo behind you?]

‘Shut up.’

There may be bumps in my life, but there will never be thigh locks. Despite Blazing’s persistent attempts to lead me down the yuri path, I will never surrender.

[Will you really remain calm seeing countless heroines in front of you? What about just giving in to the pleasures of yuri, becoming a girl, and…puheheh, joining me?]

‘I’ll show you.’

The moment I regain my male form, Blazing will gasp in ecstasy over my dong and lament losing her entire spirit life.

I will absolutely, certainly, NEVER!

Fall into yuri.

I am Phoenix.

A hunter seeking the 27 scattered Cubes across the globe to reclaim my lost penis.

[How about a kiss and some grinding?]

“……”

Even without inserting anything, perhaps sharing fiery passion with Blazing as Phoenix isn’t so bad…?

“Hnn.”

Focus, dammit!

I will NEVER become female.