After the festival ended, there was a slight change in my orphanage life.
Right now, I’m hiding and resting.
If the children see me, they will be too much of a nuisance.
I found this place deeper inside the secret base where the kids play, a beautiful room filled with pure white flowers, strangely fitting for a cold abandoned building.
I decided to make this my secret hideout and comfortably lay on the flowers, closing my eyes.
If I’m here, the kids won’t be able to find me easily.
Hehe.
The problem is that the cold wind flows into the building, making it a bit chilly, but I’m used to this level of cold, so I can endure it. Above all, the sunlight shines down through the holes in the ceiling, warming my body and oddly making me feel good.
But still!
I really just want to relax inside!
Why do I have to hide and be aware of the kids in a place like this?
It’s all because of the play!
Not only did I reveal my face in front of everyone, but my surprise appearance singing also shocked the kids immensely.
After the play ended, the kids have been following me around, annoying me.
─Is that your voice?! Really? I was so surprised.
─You can actually make a sound? This isn’t just a dream, right? Congratulations! Really, congratulations!
─Your voice is as pretty as your face…
The kids come close to me, wanting to hear my voice again.
They started begging.
Of course, they’re different from the bad adults hiding their vile intentions.
The children’s requests are full of pure hearts.
It’s not a difficult request. But I don’t want to comply.
After years of keeping my mouth shut, now that I’m speaking, it feels exhausting.
And unlike during the play, it doesn’t come out naturally.
Even though I refuse, saying I don’t want to.
They keep pestering me with reasons like you need to talk more to get used to it, and you have to practice speaking regularly.
I started to feel tired of the constant requests and began to escape.
‘Ugh, I didn’t even need to sing during that scene because it was Lena’s part. I just got caught up in the moment… Damn it. I’m such a fool. I really am a fool.’
Back then, my mind was more focused on making the kids happy in the present than any vague future or my own well-being.
I’ve heard that people can summon great strength for someone else.
True to that saying, I did much better than I expected.
Looking back now, I slightly regret why I acted like that.
Whenever I recall what happened after the performance, I can’t help but frown.
─Hey, are you a singer? What’s your name? What song is your representative song? You’re the first person I’ve seen sing such a fantastic song.
─You’re the best! The best! I’m going to be your fan from now on.
─I thought angels or fairies would come and sing directly.
─Can I get a handshake, please!
─I haven’t felt good lately, but after watching your play, I found hope.
─One more time, one more time!
People fussing over my face and voice.
I know well the consequences of my actions.
I had been hiding because I knew, and thinking about what would happen later, it seemed better to stay quiet.
But.
I ended up bringing a new wind to the peaceful orphanage.
Whether it will come back as a refreshing breeze that brightens the kids or as a typhoon that sweeps everything away.
No one knows as long as that time hasn’t come.
I truly am a fool. It’s too late to regret.
Well, still.
Since I was able to see the children’s bright smiles, I think in a way it’s not so bad.
‘Human emotions are really contradictory.’
Even when I rationally judge that something is wrong, I surrender to my feelings, creating chaos. Or when emotions threaten to explode, I can become rational and act logically.
What makes people like that?
At the same time, I don’t know what I truly desire, so I wonder if that’s why I wander aimlessly in such contradictions.
I slowly closed my eyes.
Before I knew it, my consciousness sank into darkness as it always had.
In the dark, a world I shouldn’t be able to see was horrifically clear.
It felt as if I were being told not to turn my eyes away, firmly embedded in my mind and consciousness.
With an impassive face, I silently glanced around the world.
Corpses I had created with my own hands formed mountains, burning fiercely in deep blue flames.
The smell of burning flesh stung my nose and seeped into my chest, numbing me.
The smoke blotted out the sky, blocking even the slightest hint of light.
The blood flowing from the mountains created rivers, reddening the ground.
The sound of crackling, the sound of flowing rivers, the sound of wind.
Each sound contained a cry filled with deep resentment.
‘…….’
I remember those faces.
Among them, there may be innocent people mixed in, but the majority were all villains who had pricked and trampled my heart.
I can ignore these things. I could erase them at any moment.
I could retaliate against their resentment, even in this place, and cause them suffering while asserting my own injustice.
My sin was merely a result of being unable to avoid living.
Self-defense.
I should just repeat that word and feel relieved.
But.
I couldn’t do that.
This dream is a prison created by the guilt and regret of having taken lives,
Naturally, this place is neither warm nor kind like the orphanage.
I wish to escape from here, yet I also want to stay trapped forever.
I look so foolish.
I had planned to quietly stroll through this world as I always had.
At that moment, familiar voices suddenly shattered my world.
I opened my eyes.
I sat up and turned my head towards the rustling sound.
I frowned.
In contrast, the intruders who disrupted my sleep seemed delighted as if they had found treasure.
“I found you!”
“Lily, you were here!”
“Wow! I didn’t know there was a place like this. You hid well here.”
The kids hurriedly rushed towards me, clinging onto me so I couldn’t escape.
No!
Please don’t grab me.
It’s uncomfortable.
“You can’t run away.”
“Even if you do, we’ll find you like this.”
Their small hands gripped my clothes so tightly that I couldn’t shake them off.
Really, I can’t sleep because of you all.
I nodded repeatedly in acknowledgment of my defeat.
Yet, strangely, they didn’t let go.
Why? What on earth are they dissatisfied with?
Ah… Could it be!?
Their eyes were demanding something. I could tell what they wanted.
I made a troubled face.
The children’s stubbornness is hard to break.
If I want to feel comfortable here, I have no choice but to give in.
With a mixture of a weak smile and exasperation, I murmured softly.
“Alright… I won’t run away….”
The kids who thought they had won laughed gleefully.
Seeing their triumphant faces, I felt somewhat resentful.
One by one, the arms that were holding onto me began to loosen, and taking advantage of their oversight.
I sprang up and hurriedly fled from the spot.
“Ugh! She’s running away again!”
“You liar!”
“Stop right there!”
Try and catch me if you can.
I stuck my lips out teasingly toward the chasing kids and ran away quickly.
I could hear their frustrated voices behind me.
Hehe.
*
Inside the orphanage, in the kitchen.
It was filled with loud noises.
Lena was humming a tune while making snacks.
She seemed very happy, smiling brightly, and her hands were moving excitedly in joy.
Clang. Clang.
The snack this time was a special pudding made only occasionally.
As the name suggests, it features special ingredients that boast a fantastic taste. The problem is the ingredients are hard to come by, so it’s a treat made only a few times a year.
This time, the kids had worked hard, determined to make it.
The thought of the children joyfully smiling motivated her.
As she skillfully moved her hands.
‘Hmm…?’
At that moment, she felt a strange gaze on her back.
Rene slowed down and glanced toward the entrance.
Lily was peeking her head through the door, her eyes sparkling as she held her breath, secretly observing her.
‘I knew she would come again.’
Her usual lifeless eyes were not there.
It was as if she had discovered a new gem, her expression reflecting that of a thief.
Although other kids were eager for the snack, Lily was particularly obsessed, often sneaking in before snack time to steal goodies.
Even after receiving multiple warnings, the thief showed up again.
She must have followed the sweet smell to come here.
Rene pretended not to notice and kept working diligently with her hands.
Once she placed the completed snack on the table, Lily’s face sported a mischievous smile as if she were a naughty child waiting for her chance.
At first, she thought to inform her as usual and prevent the theft by letting her know she’d been caught.
But suddenly coming up with a fun prank, the corners of Rene’s mouth lifted.
To a child playing a naughty trick, she must return the same trick!
Rene spread some sauce on the bread that would accompany the pudding.
It was a red sauce, resembling strawberries. She then placed the sauced bread in a spot where a naughty child could easily grab it.
Pretending not to notice, Rene moved on to other tasks.
Stealthily.
The little thief that silently slipped into the kitchen to steal her treasure showed impressive skills, and Rene couldn’t help but admire her talent.
At the same time, she chuckled softly.
‘I’m sorry to say this, but you should’ve just not stolen, then nothing would happen.’
Preparing a punishment for her bad habit of stealing.
If she were a good child, nothing would happen at all.
Crash!
‘As expected, huh.’
A loud noise came from the entrance.
Rene poured milk into a glass and approached the door.
Outside the entrance, Lily was sitting on the floor.
Her face was flushed, and she was flailing her hands to create a breeze, poking out her tongue to cool herself.
Her blue eyes looked as if they had melted ice, glistening with tears.
Lily looked up at Rene, her gaze carrying a hint of resentment.
It seemed to say, “How could you do this to me?”
Rene flicked Lily’s forehead lightly.
“See? You shouldn’t steal.”
“…”
Lily winced, realizing she had made a mistake. She had no words to say.
While trying to escape the other kids to replenish her energy, she never thought she’d end up in this situation.
Lily suddenly felt like crying.
“Don’t do it again, okay?”
Nodding her head vigorously.
Rene handed the cup to Lily.
Lily took the cup and gulped down the milk.
Once she drank it all, her face came alive again.
Normally she would have experienced the spicy hell and would quit right there.
But she was a mischievous girl who decided to be more cautious inside.
With a shuffling sound. With a shuffling sound.
‘Oh no! Are they already here?’
Hearing the sound of footsteps, Lily hurriedly stood up and ran away.
