Chapter 56

Why do I feel this sense of regret?

It was a legitimate opportunity to get hurt…

“Haa…”

Just as I was turning my body to fall,

Evan, realizing I was falling, grabbed me again and spun me back the other way.

He had held on tightly, preventing me from turning back, and so we fell…

I thought we were plummeting to our deaths, but it turned out the bottom was deep water. As expected, Evan sustained no serious injuries aside from a cracked rib.

And I, of course, am perfectly fine.

‘This isn’t exactly the outcome I was hoping for…’

Since falling into the trap teleport us to lower levels, I had no idea what was below.

Now I know, but that’s not the important thing.

The important thing is Evan’s actions just now.

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

He wore an expression as if he had no idea what wrong he had done, making me even angrier.

Though if you were to ask me if my actions were completely without self-interest, I’d have to admit they weren’t exactly exemplary either.

But it doesn’t matter to me if I get hurt.

Unlike me, Evan experiences pain fully, and unlike me, if he falls, he dies. What made him think he could protect me like that?

Honestly, I think I’m the crazy one.

Since I don’t feel pain like normal people and I can’t die, I can put my body through extreme tests.

If either of those factors weren’t true, it would be impossible for me to throw myself in front of danger for someone else.

That’s why Evan’s actions shocked me so much.

“[Master… why did you try to shield me?]”

I asked Evan with a trembling voice.

I wanted to know what he was thinking.

“[If I hadn’t, Master would have been in danger!]”

“So what? Don’t I not die?”

This is what he said…

“[Didn’t you see! I don’t die!]”

“You just revive repeatedly!”

“[…]”

Did you know?

My mind was filled with overwhelming thoughts, making my body tremble.

Evan, who usually appears simple and harmless, had never shown such intense anger before.

Startled, I stood there unable to reply.

“If you really don’t die, you wouldn’t have been unconscious for an entire week last time.”

“[That… ]”

“Ever since we first met, and again last time… why do you always sacrifice yourself?”

“[…]”

Hmm…

It seems the psychological toll of my actions on him was greater than I realized.

This must be the hidden feelings he’s kept bottled up until now.

Since he’s witnessed me die and revive in various ways, his reaction is understandable.

Still…

‘I haven’t shown him that much.’

Compared to what people in the magical realm have seen, Evan’s experiences with me are rather mild. Even the time I repeatedly died from Albert’s magic was far more extreme.

And that time, I died alone without anyone seeing.

Evan has witnessed my self-sacrificing only during the enrollment ceremony, the end of the class placement test when I was covered in wounds, and right now when I planned to take the fall for him.

Considering this latest attempt failed, his extreme reaction seems disproportionate. It’s as if he saw firsthand the events from the magical realm.

“I don’t want to see you get hurt or die, Aria.”

“[But Master… that’s…]”

“I know… I know it doesn’t make sense. I know that as the saint, there are things you can’t avoid.”

That’s right.

As the saint, I must fulfill my duties.

One of those duties is to defeat the Demon King.

“[As you said, one of my duties is to defeat the Demon King. If you die… won’t the world end?]”

I appealed to Evan.

Even if I die, if I save you, that’s all that matters.

But Evan’s actions came from the assumption that I couldn’t resurrect him.

It’s highly likely he didn’t know that I must die myself to resurrect someone.

In that situation, he should have let me take the fall for both our sakes.

Fortunately, the deep pool cushioned our fall, otherwise we would have died on the ground.

Even if we had fallen to our death, I would have revived after feeling the pain, making his sacrifice meaningless.

“That…”

Evan’s expression stiffened, understanding the implications of my words, then he lowered his head.

This is all inevitable.

There’s nothing I can do but sacrifice myself.

Maybe it’s fortunate I derive pleasure from pain, considering how much this world demands from a girl named Aria.

Evan wore a sad expression, as if he understood the gravity of the situation.

“Sorry… I shouldn’t have said those things…”

“[No, I’m the one who should apologize for causing you worry…]”

You shouldn’t try to protect me like that.

I’m already worried about the PTSD some kids get from my usual displays. I don’t need to add more psychological trauma to their burden.

“Even if you had caught me this time… if you were to die, I’d have to die too to save you…”

Understanding the futility of his sacrifice, Evan’s expression turned sour.

“I… see…”

Though we’ll need to have this conversation eventually, it’s not too bad to have it now.

“[We should dry our clothes…]”

Ah yes, our clothes got soaked during the fall.

Evan’s clothes were quite wet, showing quite a bit through the Academy uniform.

“Academy uniforms really become quite revealing when wet…”

What a good body.

Even though I’m female looking at a male body, it’s somewhat strange, but objectively speaking, it’s a well-built body.

Though I feel a bit dirty thinking this way as a man, ignoring that, it’s still a well-proportioned physique.

Anyway…

If we stay like this, it’ll just get awkward.

“Y-yeah! We should dry our clothes… urk…”

That’s right.

During the fall, Evan’s ribs cracked, and possibly other bones too.

I hurriedly approached Evan and cast a healing spell.

“…”

It’s been a while since I’ve felt the sensation of bones breaking…

Probably because I’ve been experiencing extreme pain while dying and feeling pleasure simultaneously, my threshold has increased. Now breaking bones just feels like normal pleasure.

This is somewhat disappointing…

Involuntarily, I smacked my lips.

“Heat… I shouldn’t be thinking like this…”

Even though I found it disappointing just now, that shows I really am something else.

Evan looked worried at the sound I made, probably thinking my injuries were worse than they seemed.

“This much is fine…”

“[No, considering future activities, it’s better to treat it. You never know what might happen while you’re distracted by the pain.]”

Like you’re trying to escape.

Absolutely not.

You know it hurts when you move too much.

I know this well from personal experience.

“…”

Sigh.

In the end, you have no choice but to let me treat you.

This is your punishment for arguing with me earlier.

Until now, I’ve tried not to take advantage of your conscience, but things are different now.

While I heal your ribs and enjoy the pleasure of the resulting pain, why don’t you feel some guilt?

Yes, yes.

“Um… Aria…”

“Yes?”

“Uh… I… sorry!”

Evan couldn’t continue, instead turning away abruptly.

I was wondering why he was acting this way, then I remembered – our clothes were still quite wet from the water.

Since it’s not completely dark here, the light was shining through…

“…”

Oh no.

Immediately after finishing the healing, I turned away.

“[I apologize.]”

Sorry for showing you such a frail body.

If Stella were here, she would have thanked me and accepted it gracefully…

‘Ahh…’

How did we end up like this?