Chapter 67

67th Episode

The Sun and Moon

067 – The Sun and Moon #1

Like a baby mouse pinned under a cat’s front paw, I found myself pressed face-down on the ground, completely immobilized. It didn’t take long for me to realize that the soft yet firm pressure on my neck was someone’s foot.

“Hey, you’ve been getting way too cocky lately. Am I the only one who feels this way?”

It was the strangest voice I’d ever heard in my life—refreshing and icy cold, like it had just been taken out of the refrigerator. It’s an odd way to describe it, but that’s exactly how it felt.

The only problem was, I had no idea what was going on or whose foot was currently crushing my neck. The pressure from the foot prevented me from even attempting to turn my head.

“Try looking at me, mortal, and you’ll go blind from the sight of my grandeur.”

Mortal? sh*t, I’m in trouble. Clearly, I’d stumbled into another bizarre situation with yet another strange individual.

At first, I thought it might be Nox, but the vibe was entirely different. If Nox had an aura that was regal and dignified, this woman reminded me of my younger sister—much younger, and far less mature.

And based on my experience, women like my younger sister, who are young and immature, tend to cause catastrophic problems for reasons that are completely unexpected.

“Wh-Who are you?!”

“Do you not recognize me? That makes it even more unforgivable. I am the goddess who protects hunting, the moon, the beasts of the fields, and the chastity of young maidens.”

“G-Gack-.”

As the pressure on my neck intensified, my only option was to flail my arms and legs like a roach doused with pesticide.

If this kept up, my neck would break for sure. I had to think fast and come up with something. Desperately, I scrambled my mind for ideas.

“I’m sorry…! I’ve committed a grave sin!”

Though I wasn’t sure why, I could feel this goddess was extremely angry with me. Since I wasn’t in a position to do anything else at the moment, apologizing seemed like the best course of action.

But it worked. The foot pressing down on my neck relaxed slightly, allowing me to breathe again.

“I was planning to rip you apart and feed you to the dogs. However, your apology was surprisingly sincere. Fine, being the merciful goddess I am, I might forgive you.”

“W-Will you spare my life then?”

“Of course not! I’ll tear you to pieces!”

d*mn, she’s insane! Clearly, apologies don’t work with her kind.

“How dare you defile the innocent maidens I’ve been watching over! And don’t even get me started on the deer I cherished! And yet you dare to ask for forgiveness?”

Maidens? Deer? Some things are beginning to click in my mind. Did she mention she was the goddess of hunting and chastity?

“Could you be Lady Diana?”

“So, you didn’t know who I was then? Filthy mortal. The stench of nymphs lingers strongly about you, meaning you’ve likely taken advantage of some poor nymphs, haven’t you?”

There’s a “nymph smell” about me? I don’t even know what that smell is, but it clearly enraged this goddess named Diana.

“I swear, it’s a misunderstanding! I just gave them massages!”

“Massage? Don’t lie to me. A simple massage wouldn’t result in such a strong scent. You probably took advantage of them under the pretense of it being a massage.”

sh*t… I can’t deny that.

“You must have used that as an excuse to touch them improperly. And then—I’ll bet—you inserted that vile thing into them, didn’t you? That’s what I mean by a desecrator of chastity!”

Desecrator of chastity? That’s a pretty cool nickname for me. But in truth, my life as a lover is pure and I’ve only known my left hand and Luna.

“No! I really only gave the nymphs massages! It’s a travesty!”

“Did you stop there, with just the massage? Do you take me for a fool? How can I possibly believe that?”

“I swear by the River Styx!”

“…You swear on the River Styx?”

Although I’m not entirely sure what that means, I get the impression that swearing on the River Styx carries significant weight for the gods. The burning hostility I felt moments ago seems to have cooled down slightly.

“Hmm… if you insist. Fine, then let me try this ‘massage’ you speak of. Let me personally determine if it’s truly as licentious as I believe.”

“Wh-what?!”

“As long as you keep your gaze lowered. You’re only allowed to look as high as these feet.”

Swish.

The pressure on my neck subsided entirely, finally allowing me to sit up. Still, I wasn’t permitted to lift my head, so my gaze remained fixed on the dirt training ground. Suddenly, small, delicate bare feet appeared before me.

My first impression: they were strikingly white, slender, and shaped like the classic Greek foot, with the second toe slightly longer than the big toe. The toenails shimmered with a soft sky-blue varnish, dazzling to behold.

Even though she was stepping on dirt, not a speck of dust marred her perfect feet—an unmistakable sign of divine transcendence. Just by looking at her feet, I could imagine how breathtakingly beautiful the goddess before me must be. I hesitated to even touch such feet.

“What are you waiting for? I don’t have all day.”

“M-my lord, I’ve heard that feet are symbols of chastity. Would it be appropriate for me, a mere mortal, to touch them?”

“Huh? I’m the goddess of chastity. You can’t tarnish me by merely touching me with your grubby hands. Are you insulting me? Or do you intend to defile me?”

“N-no! But I was genuinely curious: what exactly constitutes the desecration of chastity?”

“Obviously, direct int*rcourse. Though chastity encompasses three aspects: body, mind, and spirit. This might be too complex for you, so just take it as it is.”

“I see…”

I decided against speaking any further, knowing I might only provoke the volatile goddess. Silently, I extended my hand toward her cool, soft foot.

Swish.

The moment I touched the goddess’s right foot, it was far cooler than I had expected, sending a refreshing chill. It was also smoother and silkier than imagined. Would a foot massage suffice?

My mind had gone completely blank. How could it not? A deity who threatened to k*ll me moments ago was now standing before me, waiting for my massage.

“What are you doing?”

In a moment of recklessness, I pressed on the middle of the arch of her foot, the Yongquan point. Previously, whenever I pressed this spot on Luna, she would react violently, trembling uncontrollably. Since it had worked well on others, I decided to apply the same technique to this bizarre Diana.

Groan.

“It hurts!”

“Forgive me!”

sh*t, I pressed too hard. In my panic, I relaxed the force on my hands.

“What about now?”

“Hmm… I’m not sure. It feels kind of good, though.”

I continued to massage her soft foot with the pressure of pressing a remote control button. Occasionally, I gently pressed her big toe, causing Diana to shake her leg.

“Hmm… well, it’s not bad. I could consider it tolerable. Not bad at all.”

She then smoothly withdrew her foot from my hands.

“Alright, I might consider forgiving you. However, your sins are still grave. So, let’s negotiate somewhat.”

“Do you mean you’ll spare my life?”

“On conditions. Swear an oath today to uphold your chastity. Dedicate offerings to me alone. And this massage service should only ever be offered to me.”

“Those are the conditions…?”

“I am designating you as my grand champion. With the appropriate blessings, of course. As a male warrior, after Orion, you’re the first to receive this honor, so consider it a great privilege.”

I’m not entirely sure what a grand champion or these blessings signify, but the idea of demanding a chastity oath left me flabbergasted.

“Moreover, if you fail to swear, a great punishment will befall you. And should you violate the vow of chastity, you may even be better off dead.”

What a bunch of nonsense. sh*t, what should I do? Only moments ago, I was massaging the shoulder of Hippolyte. I never would have guessed such an event would unfold.

d*e a physical d*ath or a metaphorical d*ath of my pride?

Though two equally grim paths lay before me, I internally debated for what felt like an eternity.

The scales of my mind wavered back and forth until they finally settled. In the end, no matter what, it seems that actual survival truly takes priority.

“Uh… then…”

Just as I was about to open my mouth with the resolve to sever my own entrails…

Sap.

A light footstep sounded on my left side as Diana and another presence appeared on my right. As if carrying a bright lantern, the dark training ground lit up like daylight.

“Diana, your actions are violating the laws of Hypos. Considering the Actaeon incident and the fact that your demerit points exceed the threshold, it might be best if you don’t act so arbitrarily.”

The rich voice was undoubtedly male. Though still uncertain of his identity, I didn’t have the audacity to lift my head to confirm.

I could only remain bowed deeply, praying this storm would pass swiftly.

“Return to your place.”

“Hmph, I’ve said all I needed to. Fine, I shall withdraw.”

In an instant, the chilly aura that threatened my life dissipated with the sound of Diana’s light leap.

With my would-be executioner gone, I could finally let out a sigh of relief. sh*t, what a close call!

“You, I sense the same karmic connection in you that I do in Clepios. Perhaps it is due to his talents?”

Swish.

The sudden approach startled me. Clearly, the storm had not yet fully passed.

“Thank you for saving my life.”

“I cannot stay long, but I received the last tribute and symbol of your service that you sent before. A noble and lofty being should always repay favors.”

Swoosh.

Something touched my head.

A large, warm hand? I wasn’t entirely sure, but the sensation fit the description.

sh*t, why is someone touching my head? After that crazy high school girl, is this some homo guy now? I shuddered with growing unease.

“Blessings descend from the radiant sun, Apollo.”

“As a reward, the clumsy handcrafting skill ‘Glowing Hands’ has been enhanced to ‘Radiant Hands.'”

“Radiant Hands – After repetitive actions, you can radiate light from your hands for a limited time.”

Wait, glowing hands? Even reading the words, it was hard to believe. Nonetheless, I was grateful for the blessing bestowed upon me.

“G-getting such a gift is a great honor!”

“Because of the rules of karma, this is all I can bestow upon you. Still, such an ability can be quite useful. It could come in handy while navigating Pluto’s labyrinth, for example. That place is dark, after all.”

This god of light, Apollo, seemed to have genuine goodwill toward me. Seeing the opportunity, I decided to ask something I had long been curious about.

“Excuse me, I have a question if it’s not too much trouble.”

“What is it? If you’re quick, I may answer one or two questions.”

“Um, is it true that using our hands won’t cause baldness? I’ve heard receiving the favor of the Sun God might actually result in hair loss.”

“…That’s beyond my jurisdiction. In any case, from this day forward, I will no longer directly intervene in the lives of mortals. All things of this world are bound by authority and rules.”

Swish.

The sound of heavy footsteps retreated, and the imposing aura swiftly disappeared. The world, which had been lit up like day, fell back into darkness, and quiet once more enveloped the night.

All that could be heard now were the night insects chirping and birds calling in the distance.

What the hell just happened? For some strange reason, my hands began faintly glowing with a soft white light, like glowing firefly tails, leaving me truly startled.

“sh*t, how bizarre!”

*

I thought I’d had all the sleep I needed, and it was still quite early, so I headed over to Luna’s barn.

Unaware of the passing hours, Luna was diligently carving small pieces of wood into slivers using her miniature dagger.

“Hassan, why do your hands keep glowing like that?”

Luna’s jaw dropped in amazement at the sight of my radiant hands. Naturally, I felt just as astonished.

Thus, I gave her a brief explanation of the newfound blessing, “Radiant Hands,” omitting the parts that could lead to misunderstandings. I merely mentioned that the blessing had evolved.

She listened intently and then asked,

“So, how do you turn off the lights? Does it stay on forever?”

“It turns off on its own if you leave it alone.”

Swoosh.

After about a minute, the faint glow of my hands began to fade, slowly merging with the darkness.

“Wow, it’s really true. Can you turn it back on?”

“Let’s see.”

In response to Luna’s question, I repeatedly clenched and unclenched my hands.

As if by magic, my hands began to glow faintly again. After experimenting with this in various ways, I couldn’t help but be amazed. Holy cr*p, my hands are glowing!

“Wow! We can save on candle costs! It’s like magic!”

Luna’s observation was spot on. My new glowing hands were essentially an enchantment that could save on candle costs.

Right now, I couldn’t think of anything else to do with these glowing hands, and I was exhausted.

Regardless, I almost died today. Apparently, the Goddess of the Moon, Diana, is quite the batty goddess.

Reflecting back, in the olden Western days, people used to describe lunatics—people influenced by the moon—with specific terms. Werewolves, too, went insane under the moonlight.

Could the Moon Goddess be as mad as the moon itself?

Speaking of which, Luna’s name itself contains the word “moon.” Would changing her name improve her mental state?

“Done!”

Just then, Luna raised her dagger and proclaimed loudly.

I was momentarily frightened she might stab me in a fit of madness, but instead, she showed me the wide board she’d been carving. It turned out to be a leftover plank from our recent cottage repairs.

“What’s this?”

“It’s the workshop sign! What do you think? Cool, right?”

At the mention of a workshop sign, I glanced at it and found the words intricately engraved into the wood. Though the handwriting was quite wobbly and difficult to decipher, it wasn’t entirely illegible.

The Sun and Moon Beverage Workshop

“The Sun and Moon?”

“Poetic, isn’t it? I took a word each from your name and mine.”

I understood Luna’s name contained “moon,” but why did “sun” suddenly emerge from my name?

“Is my name Sun?”

“In old Gaian dialect, ‘Hot Sun’ means ‘hot sun,’ doesn’t it? Isn’t that where Hassan’s name comes from? That’s why I thought you were also blessed by the Sun God.”

“Ah.”

So “Hot Sun.” That fits, doesn’t it?

Regardless, I found it deeply moving that my name would be included in the sign for Luna’s long-cherished dream of opening a workshop.

Additionally, the sign reminded me of the health center “Mountains and Sea,” run by my father, stirring my nostalgia for home.

Luna might be more of a healer than I thought. I had initially assumed that as a voodoo priest, she specialized in mind-altering practices, but perhaps, like a grass Pokémon, she emits beneficial compounds like Phytoncides.

“If you don’t like it, we can change it. I’m sorry if it bothers you to have your name just randomly thrown in…”

Seeing the somewhat self-conscious and bashful girl before me, my emotions welled up, and I impulsively pulled Luna into a tight hug.

She froze, clearly startled by my actions.

“H-Hassan!?”

Luna struggled wildly, attempting to break free from my embrace.

“Why? Surely hugging is allowed, right?”

“It’s not that, but there’s a nymph smell.”

What the hell?

[Author’s Note]

Mr. Kadeom, Mr. Bangchu! Thank you so much for your continued support with the coupons! A heartfelt thank you to those who donated anonymously as well!

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