Episode 68: In the Slowly Flowing Time
After sharing my past story with Irlya, time resumes as Harin and I pass through the crimson Gate into a moment from the past. We find ourselves exchanging thoughts with Irlya in Violet’s mansion to defeat Verdium, but our conversation drifts elsewhere. We return to that moment where we leaned against the railing of a snow-covered terrace, enjoying the snowfall.
“I got dumped by my partner who awakened from D rank to S rank at that fountain.”
On a faraway quiet night, snow gently falls as the blue sky darkens, but it appears uncomfortably red.
The red sky is covered in a white mound of snow.
“The sadness of being betrayed by someone I trusted was immeasurable.”
I gazed at the sky, momentarily imagining an old friend.
‘… I wonder why… back then, my second breakup with my girlfriend hurt more than my first with my best friend… but now…’
Even at this moment, the sky hidden in darkness deepened as the snow continued to fall.
The red aura was gradually intensifying.
“I had promised for the future.”
The red color in the sky seemed as vibrant as the color of Irlya’s eyes.
It felt as if the stars in the universe were dropping snow from a great height.
‘But is there a universe inside the Gate?… Is this Earth?’
I couldn’t know.
“Doesn’t that sound absurd? Didn’t you explain it wrong?”
“What did I explain wrong? It’s my story… Ah, there is a part I forgot to mention.”
“Of course!… Hurry up and tell me!”
On her lively face, snowflakes, perhaps due to the snowstorm, lightly danced through the air, landing coldly on Irlya’s face.
Yet, despite that, Irlya showed no sign of agitation.
“Hmm, I left out that I received a sword as a gift from my girlfriend…”
“… Did you receive the sword you’re using now?”
“No, not that one… it was just a regular shop sword. The one I’m using now is from-”
“Oh, come on! Thinking about it, that isn’t the important part!”
“Hmm? Then, where do you not understand?”
Irlya crossed her arms, pulling them inward.
“Listen well… Shu.”
“Who’s Shu?”
“Who else could it be but you?”
“Ah, anyway… what part don’t you understand?”
I wanted to scold the little Irlya for calling my name arbitrarily, but I barely held myself back, reciting the Heart Sutra in my mind.
Well, honestly… even if I knew the Heart Sutra, I only remembered half of the first line.
Most ordinary people only know “Mahā pañjñā pāramitā sūtra”, particularly the Mahā pāramitā part among Guanyin Bodhisattva.
“First, the part you mentioned that doesn’t make sense is… you were so close with your ex, so why did you suddenly break up? I can’t understand.”
‘I don’t know.’
‘Rather, that’s a question I want to ask.’
‘Since I don’t know the exact reason, I can only think that I was dumped due to a big gap, right?’
“Well… I’m not sure either. It was a sudden breakup notice…”
“Think carefully. You were so in love that you even got close enough to be cuddly in public places, so it doesn’t seem like someone would just dump their lover over moving from D rank to S rank. Of course, this is only your subjective perception, but still.”
‘Not a bad person?’
“I can only assume it was because of the rank difference.”
“Is it possible that some kind of incident occurred?”
‘Some kind of incident… what incident?’
“…”
“I can’t say anything for sure since I don’t know the fundamental cause, but even if you became S rank, you couldn’t defy the association known as the headquarters of you hunters. Am I right?”
‘What’s the fundamental?’
I couldn’t counter Irlya’s logical approach to the problem.
No, I certainly could have countered.
It’s simply that my ex-girlfriend grew to dislike me.
She just got bored with me.
She left me because our ranks were different.
Now, she wouldn’t even allow herself to call me Yena.
What could be the real reason behind the fact that calling each other by name is no longer permitted between us?
Is that something I need to know at this point?
Such thoughts lingered.
Honestly, until I heard Irlya’s words, I had thought that she left me simply because our ranks had truly changed.
But now, upon reflecting deeply, discussing with others…
It felt flimsy.
Almost as if I were clumsily, yet insistently, lying…
Therefore, I couldn’t say a word.
“You mentioned a promise for the future, right? So… is it perhaps that she’s receiving threats from the association or the large guild she belongs to—”
An unforgettable memory.
“So now, what use is that!”
Irlya, who was immersed in a tranquil atmosphere, was startled by my outburst and stared at me wide-eyed.
Her surprised, bright red eyes were profound.
“I already…”
Yena.
To her.
‘I placed a bet on the ability of Nerf… it was even mentioned in the news before entering this Gate, saying it was effective.’
I’m not a fool; what should the party that made the Nerf understand?
That isn’t the case.
Anyway, if… she really ended our relationship due to some sort of threat to think about me…
If she distanced herself from me, anticipating the harm that might spread to me…
I felt I might not be able to muster the courage to live in the world any longer.
The privilege to become stronger than anyone and to have no limits to growth.
System..?
What good is that.
When you’re not here.
Yena.
I had a more awkward romance than anyone else.
But I felt more excited than anyone else.
Is this emotion I’m feeling now… what they call lingering attachment?
Throughout my school years, I was curious and wanted to experience many emotions.
Now that I feel it myself, I understand.
Curiosity kills the cat.
If my relationship with her was a dream,
If it was a dream destined to be awakened at some point, wasn’t it better to not give me any feelings at all?
Why?
Wasn’t it revenge I wanted so desperately?
Why… does revenge leave only this emptiness behind?
What should I do now?
No answers come to this question.
This was not just a one-time thing.
From the moment I first started thinking in life, it has always been like that.
With thoughts alone… I couldn’t do anything.
In dreams.
Even in unforgettable nightmares.
There was no answer.
‘Ah, I see. Now I understand.’
Experiencing new emotions… truly…
Could be described as new each time.
This feeling I have now.
It wasn’t lingering attachment.
What I feel now is… ‘guilt.’
Yes, beyond guilt, nothing else.
Minseong, what should I do…?
Is doing the best I can right now the best…?
‘Then, should I just live as part of the Golden Rule?’
“… Calm down, what are you going to do if my dad comes looking for you?”
“If he comes looking… don’t make such terrifying remarks even as a joke.”
That’s right.
… It seemed better to focus on the conversation.
My mental state seemed quite broken.
I hadn’t been taking care of myself much, but it seemed I had lost my will during the process of being beaten by Verdium.
Even the sword I had trusted was broken.
Now, the sword Harin gave me was broken.
Even the system, which had always provided me with a rebound during critical moments, became powerless in front of Verdium’s absolute strength.
“I don’t have much to talk about anymore.”
“Are you getting tired?”
I nodded.
Irlya and I left the terrace and closed the door leading to it.
Suddenly, a warm energy seeped into me, causing my nose to run.
“It was incredibly cold outside.”
“Didn’t I tell you that you would catch a cold?”
I spotted Chaewon sprawled out on the bed.
After all, she’s a ghost, so I just pushed her onto the floor.
She should have fallen, but Chaewon was floating in mid-air as she slept.
Before I could say anything, Irlya lay down beside me, fully ready for sleep.
I had no energy to say anything, so I lay down on the bed and opened my status window.
‘System.’
– Ding!
‘My information.’
[Checking your information.]
[Information]
Name: Han Shiwoo (21)
Level: 30
Position: Dealer
Stats: 0
– Current Stats –
Strength: 11
Agility: 8
Intelligence: 5
Luck: 7
– Possessed Skills –
Diminution – Nerf (EX) LV.1 (Max)
[Use commands after physical contact with a being of the same race to reduce its abilities by two levels.]
P. System’s Blessing (EX) LV.1 (Max)
[Helps owner Han Shiwoo grow. Gains various rewards during growth.]
Inheritance of Abilities (S) LV.1 (Max)
[You can inherit abilities from the corpses of the beings you have defeated. (One choice possible.)]
King’s Insight (S) LV.3
[You can obtain more information. (The amount of information increases as the level rises.)]
Soul Protection (S) LV.1
[Nullifies the effects of abilities that inflict mental damage. (Cooldown: 24 hours./Only blocks harmful effects.)]
Soul Summon (A) LV.1 (Max)
[Can summon souls contained in swords. (Release is also possible if both parties agree.)]
Transparency (A) LV.1
[Makes the body transparent during non-combat situations. However, duration correlates to intelligence score. (Intelligence stat x 5 min)]
Acceleration (B) LV.1
[Increases the erosion speed of debuffs applied to ‘enemies.’]
P. Sharp Swordsmanship (D) LV.5
[Can wield the sword more sharply.]
Four Consecutive Attacks (D) LV.5
[Attacks four times rapidly.]
P. Pharmacist’s Blessing (D) LV.3 (Max)
[Increases the duration of beneficial effects of drugs by 20 times. (Effects of drugs stack.)]
Painless Transplant (F) LV.0 (Max)
[…]
==========
‘… Painless transplant, huh.’
I stared blankly at the information window as my eyes began to droop.
Eventually, I could no longer endure the heaviness of my eyelids and slipped into a deep slumber.
– Rustle.
The next morning.
As expected, I felt a hot sensation on my neck.
However, it felt a bit different from what I felt before.
When Irlya was sucking blood from my neck, it didn’t feel like this.
Could it be that all the blood has been sucked already?
Describing it as pain in the present tense and pain in the past tense would be an appropriate metaphor.
I rushed to open my eyes and ran to a place with a mirror.
In front of that full-length mirror, Irlya was neatly arranging her hair.
“Did you sleep well?”
Irlya greeted me first.
“Uh, but… what about the user?”
“Oh, I sent her back… No, I sent her back.”
Irlya pretending to be serious.
I looked into the full-length mirror.
‘…’
“Damn it, Irlya. Did you suck blood from my neck again?”
“Just a little… No, I couldn’t help but suck at midnight. Is there any problem with that?”
So, the Black Gate… No, it would be more accurate to call it the crimson one.
In any case, time inside the Gate had started to flow again.
