Once, I managed to get through a critical situation…
As is often the case in small villages like this, there was effectively no nun capable of using healing spells, and with low-grade potions being scarce, there were no ways to save the village youth aside from the healing I provided.
After healing all the youths, who were severely injured and could hardly move, I found myself in a state where I couldn’t even lift a finger due to exhaustion.
Moreover…
‘I almost exhausted my life force because there were too many…’
I cannot afford to expend my life force here.
All of it is intended for use elsewhere.
Even if I could give off a saintly aura here, it would be unreasonable to adjust my actions to the principle of trying to save everyone at all costs… I’m currently in a situation where I’m begging internally not to exhaust myself while healing people.
Fortunately, the village isn’t too large, and the youths who participated in the fight weren’t critically injured.
Thanks to that, the healing didn’t take long, and one by one, I managed to heal them before I ended up collapsed on the floor, unable to move.
“Are you alright?!”
“Hey…!”
As soon as I finished healing the last person, I felt two people approaching me, worried as I lay on the ground, and I let out a sigh of relief internally.
‘Finally, it’s a bit quieter…’
Just a while ago, there was so much noise and wailing around that I wondered if there had ever been a time in my life that was this loud; now it’s much quieter.
Though I only had the effect of a low-grade potion, in a village where even those potions are rare, they would need my healing to ease their suffering and at least ensure they wouldn’t die, so I don’t think my choice was wrong.
However, as I mentioned earlier, my healing fundamentally expends my own stamina as a cost, so healing so many people was quite taxing on my body.
In the end, I became so weak that I couldn’t move properly and ended up being carried back to the inn.
“Thank you… really, thank you, Sister…!”
Hearing the village chief express his gratitude…
‘As expected… there’s nothing dramatic right now…’
It’s a bit disappointing.
While healing by using my own stamina is undoubtedly a good thing, I can’t say I’m really feeling any pain from it, and I’m less likely to experience the feeling of devoting myself by making a direct sacrifice for someone.
“[I’m sorry… for causing you trouble…]”
“… It’s okay. I was planning to leave tomorrow anyway, so just take a good rest and let your body recover.”
Did they say Dannes…?
Given that my only way of distinguishing people is by the form of their thoughts and their divine power, I often find it quite hard to recognize individuals.
However, it was impossible not to notice the person carrying me due to their large build compared to others.
Not too long ago, the person who had been cold to me was now telling me to rest instead of taking offense at being a bother.
It doesn’t feel bad, does it?
‘It would be great if they continued to treat me coldly as is.’
What I planned to do is something that’s hard to forgive.
Of course, I’m not directly responsible for it… I’m merely utilizing events within the game.
However, since it became reality, I cannot predict how things will flow as they did in the game, and it’s contingent upon matching the most variable factor: “timing.”
That said, it’s fortunate that my weakened condition has made it easier to synchronize the timing.
I forced a smile.
“[… Thank you.]”
Now that it has come to this, I will definitely heal those eyes of yours.
.
.
.
Even utilizing game events isn’t really that big of a deal.
Since it’s not even certain whether this will work at all.
The monster spawning in this game changes depending on the time of day.
Of course, it’s something that only spawns in-game, but conceptually, you can think of it as representing the activity times of those monsters.
And right now, I’m trying to lure other monsters into the quest to eliminate the ogre settlement we’re supposed to help.
A race that possesses low intelligence but compensates with tremendous physical strength, making them incredibly powerful monsters, comparable to early-game bosses.
Typically, those monsters can be found inhabiting forests.
‘Ogre…’
Originally, I intended to use a smell to lure the ogres and create a simultaneous battle at the exact timing, but there was a risk of detection if I did that, so I couldn’t use it.
The best I could do was to disperse the scent into the forest as I came here.
I sprinkled a powder that only orcs could smell every time I was on watch, contained in a flask.
This is an item that can spawn the boss monster ogre in the game, purchasable at the monster black market.
The first reason I didn’t use it directly is that I cannot afford to be found out for having scattered it.
If a person revered as a saint was discovered to have almost led a party to annihilation by luring in other monsters, that would be disastrous.
It would also be very dangerous for the goddess to make that observation, so I waited until nighttime—when the goddess couldn’t oversee me—to discreetly sprinkle it, and I think I’d be alright given my caution.
The second reason is that the entire forest is within the ogre’s action radius.
That’s right.
Just by scattering the powder in the forest, the ogre will assume there’s a meal waiting for it nearby. And given its natural instincts as a low-intelligence carnivore, the smell of blood will naturally lead it to the source of that scent.
No one will notice I was the one who scattered it, making it essentially a perfect crime.
The ogre will merely come seeking food due to the scent of blood and happen to cross paths with us while we’re exterminating the orc settlement, leading to a forced battle.
An adventurer party of rank B might not be able to overwhelm the ogre, but it wouldn’t be an impossible foe to take down.
As long as someone is gravely injured while defeating the ogre, I could save them somehow, thus sacrificing myself to gain higher stats.
Becoming a saint… well, I’m not sure about that.
In the end, the choice lies with the gods.
*
Fortunately, my exhausted energy didn’t prevent me from moving too much after getting a good sleep.
However, due to the ascetic nature, I hadn’t eaten, so I still felt weak.
“… What am I doing?”
Oh…
As I came to check on how the people I healed yesterday were doing, the only adventurer who had been kind to me, Dannes, approached and asked me.
No matter how devoted I am to my goal of suffering to sacrifice myself, I had no intentions of doing something insane like exhausting my energy right before setting out.
That had already been done yesterday.
“[I’m sorry. I just wanted to see if everyone was okay…]”
I thought it was okay to confirm how they were doing after putting in all that effort to heal them, even if I can’t check the wounds since they’re not visible.
‘Maybe I’ll be able to see once I become more accustomed to manipulating divine power…’
It’s so sad that I can’t see this world, which is based on the game I love the most, with my own two eyes.
If I had known this would happen, I would have omitted being blind and deaf even if I started as a saint.
Even if I can understand what people wish to say through their thoughts via divine power, even if I can spread my divine power like a wave to see my surroundings, I can only feel how things are based on my senses and not see them directly with my own eyes.
To put it metaphorically, it feels like I’m playing a game, looking solely at a map without being able to see anything.
It’s uncomfortable.
And… I don’t feel any sensation of life either.
“Well then, that’s settled. Hurry up and set off.”
“[Yes.]”
Well, what can I do?
The sacrifice was unavoidable if I wanted to gain as many positive points as possible.
Because it was my choice… I hope a day will come when I can see the world with my own two eyes.
Though it might not come.
