Humans are creatures that yearn for recognition, and our lives may very well be a continuous struggle for that validation.
The reason is that most people place considerable value in the acknowledgment of others.
Why do people ascribe so much significance to the Nobel Prize? Why do they strive to attend prestigious universities or achieve excellent grades and evaluations?
It’s because only then can they gain the recognition of being outstanding individuals from many people.
There was a time when I, too, yearned for others’ approval.
I aimed to become a top composer and sought the public’s recognition of my compositions, and eventually, I achieved that goal.
Yet, in the process, I had forgotten something crucial.
Why had I strived so hard to become a top composer?
Why did I yearn for someone’s approval?
Even though people revered me as a genius composer and gave me their recognition, I didn’t feel particularly happy.
This was because I hadn’t received the acknowledgment from the one who mattered most.
But something miraculous happened to me.
“Wow, you’re a genius!”
It seemed I had been recognized by that person.
It is said that when you receive recognition from others, you feel satisfaction and happiness. If you receive a lot of it, you might even experience euphoria.
…It’s hard to describe.
At that moment, I felt like I had fully understood the meaning behind those words.
For some reason, I felt a warm sensation in my left hand.
I cast my gaze toward it, realizing that Baek Ye-rin was gripping my hand. She looked incredibly delighted.
If I were to liken her to something, she resembled a child who had just witnessed an amazing magic trick in front of their eyes.
Then, the girl who was forcibly holding my hand asked,
“Do you have any other songs?”
“I… I do?”
“Then let me hear the others.”
“That’s probably not going to happen.”
Baek Ye-rin tilted her head at my response, as if asking me why.
But there was nothing I could do.
“We’ve arrived.”
That was because, as Kang Beom-jun had said, we had reached Baek Ye-rin’s house.
Baek Ye-rin seemed to momentarily forget that fact as she blinked while looking out the window.
For some reason, her expression revealed a slight look of reluctance.
And in the moment I noticed her expression,
“Could you give me your number? If I want to hear more, I’ll send it to you.”
I wasn’t aware that I had already said that without thinking.
“To begin with, they’re songs meant only for you… songs I want only you to hear.”
Baek Ye-rin has left.
The moment I became aware of this fact, my heart felt a bit calmer.
I know something about Baek Ye-rin that not even she herself knows.
The dazzling image of her on stage, unmatched by anyone, the image I had fallen for as a fan.
Today, through the festival stage, I glimpsed a fragment of her, and from that point onward, the image of the Baek Ye-rin I remembered began to overlap with the Baek Ye-rin in front of me.
That’s why I couldn’t help but feel tense naturally.
Think about it.
Your favorite celebrity is right in front of you, and you’re having casual conversations with them. That’s not an easy feat.
But I managed to do it.
Great job, Ryu Won!
…But, “was that the right time to feel good?”
Mixed emotions cross my mind.
Today was a very meaningful day for me.
I faced her stage again, something I thought I would never see again.
She listened to my song.
And,
“You’re a genius!”
I received such an evaluation from her.
Honestly, it felt good.
Of course, it could only feel good when you hear such words from someone you truly wanted recognition from.
I wanted to hear more evaluations about my song. I wanted to have more conversations with her.
It would have been entirely possible if I had asked for Kang Beom-jun’s understanding.
But I didn’t do it.
I didn’t want to.
I gazed out the window with a bitter smile.
The sky was blue, and soft white clouds floated gently. And against that backdrop, my pale face reflected.
At the moment my eyes met with what appeared to be someone else’s relaxed expression, something dawned on me.
It was about my dream.
I still remember it clearly.
At 17 years old,
Back then, Baek Ye-rin was a rapidly rising star, and encountering her music was something natural.
“<You and Me>. ”
It was definitely a song with that title.
Ironically, at the time, I thought that song was just meh.
The only thing I liked was Baek Ye-rin’s voice and singing ability.
It was so disappointing that I thought if I were to write a song, I’d definitely make one better than that.
So I tried making a song for fun using a free program… and it was extremely enjoyable.
The fact that I could create music, something I had always just listened to, amazed me, and I even imagined what it would be like if Baek Ye-rin sang a song I made.
And somewhere along the line, that became my dream.
Making music was so fun and fulfilling.
One day, I wanted Baek Ye-rin to sing a song that I wrote.
I wanted to show that amazing sight of her singing to other people too.
Yes. That was the essence of my dream.
But I lived a life that strayed from that essence in the past.
Because I didn’t believe in myself, I didn’t have the courage to approach her. I was afraid she might react negatively.
A dream that strays from its essence is no longer a dream.
It’s just like the remains of ash, colorless.
At the moment I realized that my once-blue dream had lost its color, I felt somewhat ashamed of myself.
I was embarrassed and inexplicably sad.
Even though I felt immense joy upon receiving her compliment, it didn’t last long.
“Did some dust get in your eyes?”
“Yeah… maybe.”
Looking around, I realized tears were streaming down my cheeks.
Kang Beom-jun handed me a tissue after noticing this through the rearview mirror because I hadn’t said a word for a while.
He then asked,
“Was it that impactful to be recognized as a genius by that girl?”
“It’s not because of that…”
“Good. Then that’s a relief.”
That ended the conversation, and an awkward silence once again filled the car.
Damn…
As always, Kang Beom-jun didn’t ask me anything.
Why I had cried,
How I had come to know Baek Ye-rin, and others.
The person I’ve known from the start would never do that. He is incredibly perceptive and always subtly caring toward the people around him. He’s also a pretty optimistic person.
Knowing this, I had approached him in this life to strengthen our connection, and I thought it would be appropriate to reciprocate his kindness by providing some sincere answers.
So I carefully began to speak.
“Are you not going to ask me?”
“Ask what?”
With a completely bland tone, Kang Beom-jun replied.
It seems like he has no interest, but I know full well that this is just pretense.
After all, this person is just so bad at lying.
“Reasons… Reasons. Isn’t there a lot you’re curious about? If I were the CEO, I would definitely be wondering all of that.”
“Not really… But if I’m honest, there are quite a few suspicious points.”
“So that’s true, eh? Then—”
“But if you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll never ask. Never.”
Kang Beom-jun bluntly cut me off, emphasizing his words.
Feeling a bit baffled, as I blinked my eyes, he continued.
“Composers usually hide a lot in their hearts. Ironically, however, it’s also a profession where people are terrible at lying.”
That’s somewhat true.
No matter how much you try to hide something personal, it inadvertently comes out and gets embedded in the songs you write.
…By the way, this is my story.
“So focus on composing without overthinking things. A composer who creates great music is the finest there is. Though, character still matters. Even if you’re a great composer, if your personality is bad…”
“Director.”
“Hm?”
“But don’t you remember I haven’t signed the contract yet?”
“…”
Kang Beom-jun let out a sigh, as if realizing that I had forgotten one of my bargaining conditions.
I will only sign the contract presented by him when Baek Ye-rin’s casting is confirmed.
“We’re going to have our hands full for a while.”
Looking at Kang Beom-jun as he pondered about the next steps in the process, a faint smile naturally crept onto my face.
I looked back out the window again.
Unlike my colorless past self, there was some kind of color in the boy’s face reflected in the window.
Transparent, just like the tears that had run down the boy’s cheeks.
It was simply pure white.
Because whatever color I chose in my future decisions was possible.
A few days later,
“Huh… I’m curious.”
Ever since the day of Baek Ye-rin’s festival performance, someone at school kept sighing repeatedly.
Kim Tae-hwan.
I have a pretty enduring connection with this guy.
Since our homes were nearby, we naturally became friends from childhood, and in my previous life, we graduated from the same schools except for college.
We were so close we practically stuck together all day at school, and we knew a lot about each other.
From that perspective, Kim Tae-hwan is…
“What’s got you so curious?”
“Hmm? There’s a rumor going around that a female student at Heavens Middle School completely changed the legend of the festival’s concert with just one song. But strangely, no video of her performance has surfaced online. What does that mean?”
“…What does that mean?”
“Maybe a talent agency that’s been keeping an eye on her blocked the video from circulating. Although, the reaction was a bit too swift for something like that.”
That’s some really good intuition.
In the normal timeline, during this period, the video of Baek Ye-rin’s festival performance would spread online, drawing attention from numerous agencies. It was one of the decisive moments that led her to debut in the entertainment world.
But Kang Beom-jun and his agency were doing everything possible to stop it.
It was also a signal showing their determination not to lose Baek Ye-rin to another company. And it was quite interesting news to me.
I was pondering this when,
“But, coincidentally, on that day, the friend who wasn’t even sick ended up leaving school early. What does that mean?”
Ssssuuuu…
This guy’s intuition has always been sharp.
But right now, it’s a bit unsettling.
I sighed and replied.
“Cut down on the nonsense.”
“Haha, I’m just kidding. Given my own reasoning, there’s absolutely no reason for you to leave school and go to Heavens Middle School.”
Yeah.
That’s what I think too.
If only time hadn’t turned back.
Anyway, Kim Tae-hwan made a rather confident prophecy to me.
About a year or two from now, a monstrous rookie would create a stir in the entertainment industry, and it would be that girl from Heavens Middle School who had changed the festival’s legend.
One year? Two years?
Hmm…
[Would you mind stopping by the headquarters tomorrow?]
[We’ll prepare the pen here, so just show up casually. ^^]
With what I’ve read in Kang Beom-jun’s text, half a year should be enough.
I faintly smiled as I read the message from Kang Beom-jun.
