Meanwhile, at the same time, on the filming set.
“Is that person really…?”
“Oh my, it is!”
“In this world, that person…”
People enjoying their party wandered around and occasionally stopped in their tracks. It was due to an unexpectedly surprising scene. To the extent that even Seo Yeon-joo’s eyes widened in amazement.
‘What is that…?’
That person was sleeping, leaning back on a chair, with their head tilted.
Since that person was always perceived as someone who never showed any weakness, the shock was significant. However, soon everyone understood. Lately, the difficulty level of filming was no ordinary task. It was, in fact, astounding that they had managed to hold on this long.
Nevertheless, it wasn’t fatigue that made them sleep.
It was merely that, finally, the thorn in their heart had disappeared.
And therefore, they could now finally take a rest.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Whiii—!
And at the moment, that person was dreaming.
Whiii—!
‘…Here again?’
That person’s first impression was rather plain.
The wind was sharp, cutting through the skin, while large snowflakes fell from the sky, forming a thick layer on the roads. Somehow, they were standing there again in front of the abandoned bathhouse.
“It’s your fault! You’re the reason Mom’s not coming!”
“…”
“It’s your fault! You!”
Their past self was the exact same as ever.
The siblings were still arguing, or rather, the older brother was unilaterally unleashing their anger. The fear of their mother not coming was immense.
However.
Something unexpected happened then.
“Huh?”
The siblings noticed that person.
At that point, that person realized the difference from the last dream: this time the siblings could recognize their presence.
The siblings looked up at that person with wide eyes.
“What, what is it? When did you appear?”
“Who are you…?”
Their faces showed a touch of fear. That was only natural. The height difference alone was considerable, and that person was perfectly aware of their sharp features.
“I am…”
That person hesitated mid-sentence while trying to introduce themselves. They stopped, deciding against informing them that their mother would never return. A different thought had arisen instead.
‘Wait, since this is a dream…’
Didn’t that mean they were all-powerful and could do anything?
As soon as they grasped this, they found something they wanted to do.
At the moment, that person had become someone who could come up with what they wanted to do. And the place they were in was a dream, where they could do anything they wanted.
‘Should I make it possible for these kids to meet their mother?’
But then they shook their head.
That wasn’t the right answer, and it wasn’t what they wanted to do.
In the first place, they didn’t want to give these siblings a fake happiness.
Certainly, it seemed that they needed to take care of the matter they had harbored within them. It seemed that it was only by doing this they would feel satisfied.
Thus, that person began to speak.
“Are you waiting for your parents?”
At this, the children nodded.
“You must be cold, lonely, and scared.”
“…”
Once again, the children nodded. Purely and simply.
“If it’s too cold out here, why don’t you wait inside the bathhouse?”
“No. Mom will be here soon…”
Later, as some time went by, that person gave the siblings hand warmers several times and even conjured up something akin to a vendor’s hat for them to wear. Still, the mother never appeared no matter how long they waited.
More time passed.
At one point, the siblings asked that person.
“Uh….”
“Yes? Do you need another hand warmer?”
“No, no, it’s not that…”
Their younger self noticed and spoke up.
“…Why are you still here?”
The gratitude for staying with them was mixed in the question, but there was also unmistakable anxiety in the voice.
That person clearly understood the meaning behind the words.
The younger self felt apologetic and wanted to send that person away while still worrying about practical concerns—if that person left, there would be no more hand warmers or snacks.
Hence.
That person quietly made some fish-shaped bread, and said,
“I am waiting for something, too.”
“Oh, that’s what it is…!”
At this, the siblings’ expressions visibly relaxed.
Children are so simple.
If they thought they were hanging around due to their own problems, it made them feel lighter—so much lighter than if they thought it was because of them.
After a long while, more time had passed.
Due to being with that person, the siblings were able to endure the wait much longer than they could have alone. They were warmer, had food, and that person had even provided a tent for them.
Becoming friends was a natural progression.
The siblings chattered incessantly with that person, and it wasn’t unpleasant either. Many conversations took place.
“Brother.”
“Yes.”
“What kind of work do you do?”
“I’m an actor. I perform in front of the camera.”
“Oh…!”
The siblings’ eyes sparkled simultaneously. True, actors seemed mysterious even to grown adults, so it was bound to appear even more fascinating to children.
But then, unexpectedly,
“What kind of person are you, brother?”
The following question was sharp. Children’s questions often felt this way. Though they appeared simple and out of context, they had a sharp edge when heard by adults.
“If you’re asking what kind of person I am…”
The older self would not have been able to answer such a question.
That person would have ignored it, considering it unworthy of an answer, or tried to correct it, thinking the question itself was wrong.
But this time, at the moment, that person could answer easily.
“I am a very pitiful guy. A pathetic one.”
“Pitiful…? Pathetic…?”
The siblings tilted their heads, not understanding.
“Yes. I’ve experienced all kinds of bad things in life.”
“I see…”
Children turned out to be surprisingly perceptive. They didn’t probe further into the matter. Though the younger sister seemed curious, the older self stopped her with a gesture.
Perhaps about a week had passed.
“Um, brother.”
One day,
The older self called that person with a serious voice. The younger sister had fallen asleep soundly nearby.
“Yes. What’s up?”
“Well… somehow…”
After a long pause, the younger self said,
“I think Mom has abandoned us.”
That person felt a sinking sensation in their chest.
This was strange. They had endured all the experiences that had toughened them, yet here they were feeling so vividly. No, no—it wasn’t because they had experienced it themselves. This was a new scenario entirely.
Thus, that person didn’t feel good either. It wasn’t easy to look into the young face filled with fear and despair.
They wanted to create a mother right away in front of these children. After all, this was a dream; so they could conjure up Mom’s form and make the siblings reunite with their parents. The siblings would surely be ecstatic and return home with the happiest expression in the world.
But no.
That mustn’t happen.
So, they had to endure.
As that person’s heart was being shredded like thorns, they still had to overcome it and asked calmly,
“…Is that so?”
“Yes. It’s been days now, and she hasn’t come.”
Surprisingly, the younger self went on without hesitation.
“There are a lot of strange things when you think about it. This is a bathhouse in a region we’ve never been to. Moreover, Mom told us to stay as long as we could and return. And she still hasn’t come.”
“Hmm.”
“And now that I think about it, Mom often looked tired when she looked at us. I thought I didn’t understand what her expression meant, but now I think I get it.”
“I see…”
That person quietly listened to the younger self’s story.
Then asked,
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“…No.”
The younger self shook their head.
“You’ve already helped us a lot. And you said you’re waiting for something too, right? It’s fine now. I plan to travel around with my sister from now on.”
“From now? With your sister?”
“Yes. I realized that staying still like this wouldn’t change anything. I want to try doing something directly.”
Brilliant judgment. But at the same time, it also meant a grim road ahead for the siblings.
What could such young children accomplish? They would soon realize the harshness of the world, whether physically or emotionally. They might even wish to die.
But the siblings didn’t know.
That person had been waiting for these words to come.
Silently, they gripped the shoulder of the younger self.
Because they had something crucial to say to the younger self.
Yes, that’s why they hadn’t conjured up or provided a mother yet—to have this conversation with their younger self.
“Good thinking. But it won’t be easy.”
“Still.”
“Yes, still?”
“Yes. My sister believes in me. That’s why.”
“So…”
That person nodded.
It felt strange to hear these words from themselves, but their heart had to be firmly resolved. After all, there was still an important message left to impart to their own self.
At that point, the younger self asked,
“Brother.”
“Hmm.”
“You’re strange.”
“Why?”
“You said you’re a pitiful and pathetic person, but it doesn’t seem that way to me. I don’t know exactly why, but you seem like a really great person. And more than anything else….”
“More than anything else?”
“You… look happy.”
“Happy…”
The younger self said this while looking at that person.
“Brother, I’m curious. Will I also become happy someday? This is a secret from my sister, but I’m really scared and stressed right now. Maybe like you said, I’ve become a pitiful person. What if I stay unhappy forever?”
That person gave a consoling pat on the younger self’s shoulder.
“I know a way to get closer to happiness.”
“…Really? Can you tell me? Please.”
“Of course. It’s simply this…”
That person stared into the eyes of the younger self and said,
“To live life according to the name you have been given.”
“According to my name?”
The young person immediately furrowed their brow, showing an expression as if they were hearing something completely incomprehensible.
“Kid, what’s your name?”
“Sun-il. Kim Sun-il.”
“Kim Sun-il…”
That person softly repeated the name.
Kim Sun-il (善一). Goodness in the first character, and One in the second.
Why had their mother chosen this name? That person didn’t know. Likely, it had no deep meaning. The mother had probably intended to abandon the siblings from the start.
Therefore.
The one thing that the person wanted to say now, their own message,
The one thing they had to say,
was to redefine the meaning of their name.
To give themselves a second chance.
“Sun-il.”
“Yes, brother.”
“Know a bit of Chinese characters?”
“…A little bit.”
That person went outside the tent and wrote the name in the snow with their finger: Goodness (善), and One (一).
“The first character represents good things, and the second represents one. Do you understand this much?”
“I know these two characters. I’ve learned them. It means to find one thing I’m best at and continue doing it, right? I’ve been thinking of my name in this way until now.”
The younger self reflected for a moment and then said,
“Oh, so finding my best and doing it means I’ll become happy? That makes sense when I think about it.”
“That’s not it.”
That person shook their head.
Living by what they were best at, which was acting, wasn’t making them happy. The key wasn’t that.
“For the thing you love the most. Hence, goodness (善).”
“What I love?”
“Yes. Follow your desires. I understand.”
The younger self seemed to ponder deeply about something, then soon tilted their head.
“Brother, but this is strange.”
“What’s strange?”
“I keep changing what I like.”
The younger self continued confidently.
“When I get hungry, I just want to eat. Right now, I just want to find Mom. So how can a name like this be correct when what I want always changes?”
“You thought about it like that, huh. But no, that’s not it.”
“How then?”
That person took the younger self’s small hand and guided the small index finger toward the character One (一). Then said,
“One at a time.”
“One at a time?”
“Exactly. It means to follow your desires one at a time. You should live like that from now on. According to your name.”
“Oh…?”
Every word needs meaning to acquire sense, and hence, that person attempted to imbue their hitherto empty name with such a meaning.
To find what they desire one at a time and pursue it.
A small but precious realization that had just come to light.
“You know, doing what you want is harder than you might think.”
“Really?”
The younger self gave an expression as if it was hard to imagine.
“Yes. Pursuing what you want means there’s also room for failure. And every failure hurts deeply because not everything in the world goes the way we want.”
“Oh, I understand what you mean. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll find Mom. I don’t even have much confidence.”
“If you find her, that’s great. But if not, just keep looking for the next thing to do. That’s enough.”
“I’ll remember that.”
The younger self’s eyes sparkled as they traced the Chinese characters a few times, trying hard to remember this story.
Suddenly.
At some point.
“Um, brother.”
“Yes.”
“Can I ask what your name is?”
Upon hearing this, that person released the arm they had been holding, stood up, and looked up at the sky.
The snow kept falling, covering the world in white.
Even though the body was gradually being covered in white,
It was clear now.
The insight they cherished in their heart wouldn’t be erased. Happiness, imperfect as it is, sticks. It doesn’t fade away easily in the face of any storm.
Thus, speaking their name now held great significance—for them too. Now, it possessed a meaning.
“My name is….”
In front of the bathhouse, the young siblings waited endlessly for their mom to return. The three-day wait. Since that day, perhaps ___’s time had been on hold.
Complaining about mom, struggling with the pressure to act as a parent to younger sister, chasing after success, through it all, his clock had been stopped.
At the same time, they could never forgive themselves. Always.
And.
Finally.
The man made peace with himself by naming it.
Thus,
That person opened their mouth.
“…<u>Kim Sun-il</u>! Same as you!”
At some point, <u>Kim Sun-il</u> had become a young boy and was now shouting with a bright smile.
The connection to <u>Kim Sun-il</u> was finally complete.
Only on the fourth day did the boy finally gain his name, a name whose meaning he’d cherish forever.
