It was as if I had a fever.
My head was burning hot, and I felt dizzy. No, it hurt.
I felt like I had caught a cold.
But no red flush of fever rose to my face.
I could tell, without even looking in the mirror, that my face had turned deathly pale.
The man in traditional Korean attire, Lee Cheon, showed no interest in me, frozen as I was, and proceeded to support Professor Seo, leading him into the house.
Not only my body, but my thoughts seemed frozen as well—I couldn’t think properly. I had no idea what judgment I should make at that very moment.
And before I could form any judgment, a voice came from inside.
“Excuse me, could you help? It seems this young man has had a little too much to drink. He can’t even remember where his room is.”
Of course, I should have run away at that point. That would have been the right decision. Although Professor Seo seemed incapacitated, I knew the writer wouldn’t do anything to harm him, so I shouldn’t have been concerned.
But the next words from Lee Cheon took even that choice away from me.
“And… while we’re at it, I have some good news to share. It’s about a child from the orphanage you used to live in…”
I felt a chill down my spine.
This was not something I had anticipated hearing here.
It was a conversation I was not supposed to hear, something I hadn’t even thought could come up.
But the moment those words were spoken, I knew there was no longer any option for me to escape.
With what was left of my clarity, I pulled out my smartphone and turned on the recording function, then moved toward the living room.
In the living room, Lee Cheon was still supporting Professor Seo. I walked past him, heading toward Professor Seo’s room at the back.
The professor’s room was unlocked, and Lee Cheon followed, placing Professor Seo on the bed. For a man in his 60s, he had impressive stamina.
Then, naturally, Lee Cheon and I returned to the living room. He sat down on Professor Seo’s chair as if it were his own house.
“Please, take a seat.”
Even though we were both guests, he already carried himself as the owner of the place. Though I didn’t want to follow his command, I stood there and stared at him.
It was only then that I noticed a small bandage on his forehead.
“Well, if you don’t want to sit, that’s fine too. So, doesn’t this house offer even a glass of water to its guests?”
“…It’s not my house.”
“Joking, right?”
It was an irritating joke, though he obviously already knew. No, it wasn’t the joke that was irritating—it was him. The conversation was already on his terms, and I shouldn’t have let him continue talking.
“Orphanage… what about the orphanage?”
“Didn’t I say it’s good news? Don’t worry about it.”
“…What?”
“Just that, seeing their financial situation struggle lately, I decided to make a small donation. One must acknowledge the place that nurtured such a fine writer as yourself.”
Of course, I wasn’t naive enough to believe his words at face value. Lee Cheon was telling me that the place where I grew up was now under his influence—a nauseating form of intimidation.
“…Exactly, why?”
“Isn’t it between you and me? It’s nothing serious. I just want to maintain a good relationship with you going forward.”
“Your… purpose?”
“Purpose? There is none. Just pure goodwill.”
He was just as he’d always been—still courteous. But what came out of his mouth, speaking of goodwill, was nothing but vile venom.
“Recently, you’ve been under a lot of stress, haven’t you? I overheard some news. There were some articles too, about strange dating rumors and problems with the publisher…”
Why was he bringing up those topics now? Recalling my conversation with Gu Ji-ye, I realized it was simpler than I’d anticipated. Lee Cheon had targeted me.
“Why… why are you doing this?”
It was incomprehensible. My trembling voice made the question. Lee Cheon smiled faintly and then touched his forehead with his finger.
The bandage.
A memory flashed—a memory from that day.
The day when I fled.
I had thrown a glass at him, and it had struck him in the head, causing him to fall backward. I had run.
“Is this really… all because of that?”
As far as I remembered, the glass had definitely hit his head.
“Really… all because of that?”
The meaning was clear. This was retaliation.
Punishment.
For the wound I’d inflicted on his body.
Trembling with incomprehension, I spoke, as Lee Cheon smiled faintly.
“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
Trembling, I opened my mouth.
“…Don’t you start it! You.”
“Hahaha.”
“You… you were the one who started it!”
Like vomiting, the accusation was hard for me to get out, but Lee Cheon dismissed it as though he didn’t understand.
“What are you talking about? Sorry, but I don’t remember because I blacked out for a bit.”
“Don’t play dumb! You’re the one who…”
But before I could finish my sentence, Lee Cheon abruptly stood up. Startled by this sudden movement, I instinctively stepped back. His shadow loomed large.
“You have a big house. I imagine it’s hard to manage. There’s been talk of a strange stalker, hasn’t there? But it’s fortunate. It would be difficult for anyone to chase you all the way here.”
Lee Cheon took a step forward. I also took a step back.
Struggling with fear, I tried to understand the meaning of his words.
“How… how do you know about that?”
“What thing?”
“I didn’t tell anyone about this!”
What I told Professor Seo was about the journalists. I never mentioned anything about a stalker. Lee Cheon didn’t respond, only smiling as if he had no intention of hiding anything more.
Everything that had happened to me was retaliation—retaliation for the tiny scratch on Lee Cheon’s forehead.
Simultaneously, it was a hunt. A slow encirclement.
He was casting a net.
Because he intended to keep me alive.
“Why… why me?”
Why?
“You’re an adult.”
“An… adult?”
“That’s why.”
It was an exceedingly simple logic.
I was…
Seol-guk was…
An adult.
And when it came to adults, it wasn’t a crime if “agreement” could be reached.
It was, without a doubt, a convincing story.
This was Lee Cheon’s purpose.
Lee Cheon’s purpose…
His purpose…
Was for me to say “yes” to what he proposed.
“I believe we can maintain a good relationship going forward.”
“Stay… stay away from me.”
Lee Cheon took another step forward.
I took another step back.
“I’m sorry for your recent troubles, but if you help me…”
Another step.
“It’s a simple task, really. If you do, I’ll be able to help you immensely. The publisher, those strange articles, the stalker… even the orphanage.”
Another step.
“You can solve everything.”
Another step.
“And not just solve them, but make things better.”
Another step.
“I don’t want to see anyone get hurt.”
And another step.
But my back hit the wall. Lee Cheon’s vast shadow enveloped me. His pleasant face looked down at me. One of his hands braced against the wall. My legs trembled and began to buckle.
“Isn’t it a simple task? Really, it’s easy… Haven’t you thought so too?”
Lee Cheon’s other hand stroked my cheek, then slowly traced down my body until it rested on my waist.
“Women are indeed so easy.”
Indeed, his words were true.
Women were easy.
An easy existence.
Someone who couldn’t even handle something as simple as this…
Too easy.
“I believe you’ll make the easy choice.”
Therefore, this was what he was saying:
“…Kk.”
“Hmm?”
“…”
“What?”
“Kk.”
I steadied my trembling legs. At that moment, Lee Cheon’s hand was moving toward my hips. I immediately kicked him in the groin.
“Ughhh…”
Lee Cheon couldn’t even cry out in pain. He clutched his crotch and collapsed.
I knew that pain all too well. That’s why I had chosen this move—because it was the only way to subdue such a bulky figure with my body.
I immediately broke free. I wasn’t staying there. I fled out of Professor Seo’s house and ran.
I just ran.
I wanted nothing but to get away from that place.
I didn’t even notice the surroundings. I had no idea where I was going or even where I was.
After running for a long while, I was so exhausted I could barely continue, so tired I felt like vomiting. Only then did I stop running.
I didn’t know where I was.
Just a street.
There was no one in sight.
Leaning against the wall and gasping for breath, the thoughts came flooding back.
From a rational perspective, the choice I had just made wasn’t very wise. Even if I had stayed silent and fled, Lee Cheon wouldn’t have done anything to me.
The place wasn’t some secluded alley or a hidden, uninhabited room. It was Professor Seo’s house where anyone could show up at any time. With his cautious nature, there was no way he’d act rashly, especially while pretending to record.
My actions would likely only provoke his anger. Now he would probably go all out to punish me. The orphanage could be in danger. The stalkers might chase me again, or the publisher might stir up trouble again.
It hadn’t been a rational decision. Even without obeying him, there was no need to provoke him.
But somehow, I didn’t care.
I laughed.
I couldn’t help but laugh. Because whenever I thought about it, the ridiculous and pitiable expression on his face as he clutched his groin, hunched over—this image kept replaying in my mind.
I couldn’t stop laughing as I caught my breath.
The laughter, which began as a faint chuckle, gradually grew uncontrollable.
“Hahahaha! Ahahahaha!”
I laughed like a maniac.
I couldn’t stop laughing.
I laughed until it felt like I might die if I didn’t.
I laughed until my chest hurt.
I wasn’t a woman.
I couldn’t make an easy choice.
Tears were streaming down my face from laughing so hard.
“Seol… guk?”
I turned at the sound of my name.
There stood Ham Ye-jin, cruelly leaving me to such a state for quite some time.
“Are you… alright?”
“Hahaha, I’m fine. Sorry. I can’t stop laughing.”
“…”
Her face was quite a sight. Pale and filled with terror.
“It’s nothing, really. Absolutely nothing. It’s just something ridiculous. Why… why are you so late?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Hahaha, it’s truly idiotic. You’d be shocked hearing what I did just now. It’s a bit cliché, but it’s true.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I… I kicked that guy right where it hurts. You should have seen his face.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why… why are you apologizing so much? Hahaha, it’s so funny.”
“I’m… sorry.”
“It’s so stupid.”
At some point, I had embraced Ham Ye-jin.
My legs gave out underneath me. Slowly, my body collapsed. I clung to Ham Ye-jin, continuing to laugh.
I kept laughing.
I laughed and laughed…
And finally, I cried.
Like a child, really like a small child.
Ham Ye-jin held me tightly.
Tightly…
She held me close.
And I cried.
