Chapter 84

“Riana. Not hungry?”

“No.”

“Then why are you stopping eating and thinking about something? First time I’ve seen you leave food untouched. Weird, but kinda fascinating.”

“Kairon oppa.”

“Yeah, I’m listening.”

“Do you like Abelin unnie?”

“*Cough*…”

Thanks to my superhuman reflexes and physical abilities, I managed to swallow what was in my mouth without spitting it out. But the shock was so intense that it took me a while to calm down and catch my breath.

“…What makes you ask that, Riana?”

“Gut feeling! A girl’s intuition!”

“I’ve heard of that. But in my case…”

What should I say?

In my past life, Abelin kissed me and blessed me before she died. That’s true.

But that was the Abelin from my past life, not this one.

I have no idea when or why Abelin started liking me in this life.

Knowing something vaguely is often worse than not knowing at all.

Like the situation I’m in right now.

Abelin, who used to be just a rival always clashing with me, confessed her feelings for me in my past life, so now I can’t help but see her differently.

Plus, I’ve never been in a relationship in my entire life.

Maybe that’s why I’m so clueless and flustered.

It’s true that we’ve gotten much closer than in my past life, sharing all sorts of experiences. But is that really just being close?

I think I’ve gotten pretty close to Abelin, but maybe to her, our relationship means nothing. Maybe she’s just waiting for the right moment to leave.

So, in the end, my answer to Riana’s question about whether I like Abelin is…

“I don’t know.”

*Thud*—

Riana slammed the table lightly at my answer.

“Don’t know? What kind of answer is that? If you like her, say you like her. If not, say you don’t!”

“Haha, you’re right. But why are you so worked up about this topic, Riana?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? Kairon oppa, who’s been single his whole life, might finally get a super pretty girlfriend!”

“Si-single my whole life… That’s true. But it’s not like I’ve ever felt lacking because of it.”

“That’s because you’ve never experienced love, so you don’t know what you’re missing. That’s not normal!”

“Then how do you know what it’s like? Have you been in love?”

“……”

Suddenly, Riana’s energy deflated.

She glanced away, avoiding my gaze.

“Why so quiet, Riana? Talking like an expert, but you’ve never experienced it either, have you?”

“Shut up, Kairon oppa! Now I get why Abelin unnie always tells you to be quiet. You’re so insensitive!”

“Who started being rough first?”

“Anyway, don’t change the subject. Think about it. The closest woman to you right now is Abelin unnie, right?”

“If we’re talking about physical proximity, then yeah.”

“Then do you think you’ll ever meet a woman better than Abelin unnie in your life?”

“……No.”

Because, based on my past life, my life ended with the Vanguard.

And I met my end with Abelin.

But now that I think about it, being kissed by a beauty like Abelin and then dying heroically against a demon wasn’t such a bad way to go.

Beauty, beauty…

“Yeah, you’re right. Abelin is beautiful. That’s an undeniable fact.”

“Is that all?”

“Haha… Riana, what more do you want me to say?”

“Everyone in the world would agree that Abelin unnie is pretty. But what about something only you know about her? Something special?”

“There is one thing.”

“Good, that’s what matters! What is it?”

“Well, it’s fun to tease her. Most people would give a cold, disdainful look, but for some reason, that expression and her eyes give me an inexplicable thrill.”

“…Isn’t that just Kairon oppa having weird tastes?”

“Not necessarily. Especially the Silver Guards. When Abelin scolds them or points out their mistakes, they act all disciplined on the spot, but later they’re practically swooning. They call it a ‘reward’ or something. Anyway, weird people flock to a weird commander.”

“Calling them weird when you just admitted you get a thrill from it too…”

“But it’s true. Bantering with Abelin is fun. Plus, the units we command are the elite of the defense and attack forces. If we fall, the Vanguard falls. I guess we’ll be together until the end.”

“Everything lines up. So why not give dating a try?”

“Sorry, but that’s impossible. It’s something I shouldn’t do.”

“Why? A love blooming in the bleak Vanguard is so romantic.”

“Really? I wonder.”

As I quietly tasted the food, Riana, sensing something from my demeanor, slowly calmed down.

“Something happened in the Vanguard related to love, didn’t it?”

“……Riana, imagine if you loved someone. So much that you couldn’t live a day without them. Sharing the same space, time, and duties with them would make you incredibly happy, right?”

“Of course! I’d be so happy I wouldn’t mind dying.”

Dying wouldn’t be so bad.

At those words, I stopped moving my fork and knife.

“But what if one of them was in mortal danger? If a woman in the Silver Guards was about to be killed by a demon, what would a man in the Black Iron Vanguard do? Or vice versa? The Vanguard is a military organization. Each individual’s role is crucial, and personal emotions and fears can’t interfere. But could you really stay in place while watching the person you love die? And what if one dies and the other survives? What kind of life would the survivor live?”

“Every day would be a living nightmare.”

“The most important thing to maintain and enhance as a Vanguard member is combat power. To do that, emotions that could weaken individuals should be minimized. It’s the commander’s job to make sure the members fight with pure resolve, free from weak emotions. But if Abelin and I started dating, how do you think others would see us?”

“……”

Riana didn’t answer, but being as sharp as she is, she probably already knew what I was going to say.

“I told you, right? There was a comrade who loved a demon. And before I left for Rostia, I killed that demon with my own hands. I’m a little scared. What will that comrade be like when I return? What will they be feeling? I’ve never been in love, so I don’t know, but love isn’t just about happiness. Maybe it’s like a drug—ecstatic while it lasts, but horrifying when it’s gone.”

“…But!”

Riana angrily stabbed her fork into the food.

She didn’t seem to like what I was saying, her lips pouting.

“If you think like that, when will you ever love?”

“I don’t know. But if fate exists, if there’s really such a thing as a destined partner, then someday, somehow, we’ll meet and fall in love.”

“That’s so romantic. After all that cold talk. Tch, whatever!”

Riana cut a large piece of meat with her fork, stuffed it into her mouth, and chewed furiously.

“Do what you want, I don’t care! You’ll end up single forever, oppa!”

“Thanks for worrying about me. Even if I had a real sister, she wouldn’t worry about me as much as you do. But want to know a secret?”

“A secret? What?”

“It’s an old story. Right after I won the Swordsmanship Competition, the whole world wanted me. Some wanted me as their personal guard, others offered high positions in their armies. But among them, there was one special woman. Not a strange woman, but a special one.”

“Oppa using the word ‘special’! What kind of woman was she?”

“Her name was Artemis. She asked me to be her husband.”

“Wow, so bold! So romantic! And such an exotic name. Wait, I feel like I’ve heard it before. Where was it…?”

“If I say her full name, you’ll know right away. Her last name was ‘Rimpos.’”

“……”

Riana’s face froze, and her mouth slowly opened wide.

“You’re joking, right? That can’t be real.”

“It really happened. And my connection with Artemis is still ongoing.”

“No way! Oppa, quietly doing his thing in this cold northern region, even if you won the Swordsmanship Competition!”

I shrugged silently, and Riana’s eyes widened even more.

“The Empress of the Rimpos Empire, Artemis Rimpos!?”