Dionysus frowned in apparent distress, pressing his temples with his fingertips before bursting into a mocking laugh.
After laughing for quite a while, he once again looked down with a contemptuous gaze and glared at Artemis.
“Artemis… As one of the Twelve Gods, surely you don’t actually like Ark, do you?”
“Wh-what? What on earth are you talking about??”
Artemis, stuttering like a fool, shot back at him.
Her eyes even began to spasm from how absurd she found the suggestion.
Observing her reaction with amusement, Dionysus crossed his arms in front of him and gave a dry applause of about three claps. Then he pointed at each of us.
“Ark and Artemis. Aren’t you doing the Twelve Labors to reject Ark’s request to become his lover?”
“If you know that, why are you spouting such nonsense about liking each other?”
“Hey~? Then why were you two holding hands when you climbed this mountain?”
“!!”
Oh no, we let our guard down.
In the excitement of going out with my girlfriend after a long time, I had completely forgotten that the countless servant spirits who always watch us were present.
Neither Artemis nor I had remembered.
“That… that’s just simple contact between a Goddess and her Priest. If we’re nitpicking, why doesn’t Athena-Imouto, who has never been with a man, just randomly hug anyone?”
You ridiculous Goddess.
What if someone overhears and misunderstands your tone?
With that explanation, people might think Athena is promiscuous.
Out of caution, I should clarify Artemis’ statement properly:
She means Athena personally embraces every soldier before they go to war to boost their morale.
I vividly remember witnessing Athena doing just that before the final battle against the remnants of the Gigantes on the Mountain of the Gods.
“Hmm… You can’t really tell someone’s true feelings just because they held hands. I casually hug any woman, after all. Hahaha!”
Recalling some joyful past memory, Dionysus licked his lower lip and laughed boisterously.
Disgusted by his suggestive words, all of us involuntarily frowned.
Artemis shot two arrows in an instant to break all of Dionysus’ wine bottles without saying a word.
“Hey… that was expensive wine…”
“You’re just lucky you’re a god. Otherwise, you’d already have several bullet holes in your forehead by now.”
“All that remains is to taste it…”
Ignoring Artemis’ provocation, Dionysus merely stared at the soil soaked with spilled wine.
He picked up a handful of the damp earth and started chewing on it.
The sight was so bizarre that I involuntarily furrowed my brow as I looked at him.
That was a mistake.
I suddenly made eye contact with Dionysus.
However, despite my rude expression, he smiled faintly at the corners of his dirt-streaked mouth and spoke.
“Ark, do you find my appearance repulsive?”
“It’s not that bad, but it’s certainly something I’ve never seen before.”
“Haha! To not have seen this kind of behavior… you’re young, very young.”
“Even when you grow older, I think it’s rare to see such behavior.”
“Ark, among pirates, there are people who habitually eat gunpowder. Do you know why?”
What is he talking about now?
Pirates eating gunpowder?
Who in their right mind would eat gunpowder meant for cannons on ships?
Not only do I not know the answer, but this doesn’t make for a proper question.
Dionysus clicked his tongue knowingly, as if recognizing my inner thoughts.
“Tut tut. Such a lack of imagination. With that head of yours, I’m amazed you managed to defeat Hermes.”
“So, would you care to explain why pirates eat gunpowder?”
“Simple. It’s to avoid being underestimated.”
“…To not be underestimated?”
“Yes. A ship at sea can be considered a closed space. Once underestimated in such a place, you would have no way of escaping the harassment from other pirates. So to avoid such treatment, they eat gunpowder to emphasize they’re crazy.”
Dionysus finished his cheerful explanation, then slapped his hands together saying “Oops!” before adding that there were also chefs who walked around with forks stuck in their heads.
Why is he telling me this?
After some thought, an answer came to me easily.
The pirates and chefs are unrelated.
He probably wants to talk about the psychology of not wanting to be underestimated.
“Are you referring to your current act of eating dirt, Lord Dionysus? Is it out of not wanting to be underestimated?”
“You’re right. Since I was little, I’ve wanted to escape from Lady Hera’s violence and oppression. So I showed her once that I ate dirt, and she was so shocked that she just left me alone.”
“Lord Hera isn’t here, you don’t need to eat.”
From my perspective, I honestly found this conversation filled with no nutritional value exhausting.
I was filled with the desire to silence his chatter somehow.
However, since I needed him to lift the curse from the wine, I had no choice but to humor him.
“You see, eating gunpowder or dirt like a madman is an act performed because someone is watching. But in my case, eating dirt has become a habit.”
“Even if it’s not because of Lady Hera?”
“Yeah. Dirt that improves the taste of wine isn’t bad either. Would you like a taste?”
Then Dionysus scooped up some muddy earth with his dirty right hand and offered it to me.
His previously cloudy eyes briefly glowed with hostility.
As I hesitated whether to accept or not,
Pfft!
Artemis, frowning deeply, kicked his hand out of the way, intervening between us.
“You crazy bastard! Enough is enough!”
“But I… I was trying to help Artemis! That’s too much, this.”
“Help?! Stop being insane and just lift the curse quickly. I don’t even want to be in the same space as someone like you.”
She truly detested talking to Dionysus.
She found it revolting to share the fresh mountain air with him in the same space.
It was the first time I’d seen Artemis so clearly dislike someone.
Perhaps hurt by her attitude, Dionysus scratched his neck fiercely with his dirt-covered hand, leaving several red streaks.
“Everyone just thinks I’m drunk when I say things like this. I’ll have to show you by action.”
“I have zero interest in you.”
“Just interested in Ark, huh?”
“Why do you keep bringing Ark into this?!”
Artemis glared at him with a blatant expression of annoyance.
But Dionysus only grinned mischievously and easily dismissed her fierce gaze.
“Why are you raising your voice like that?”
“Who’s raising their voice?!”
“Isn’t it because you’re worried about being caught liking him?”
“This is ridiculous!”
This isn’t even the first or second instance now, it’s the fourth.
If his assumptions are correct, I suppose I should be happy as the person involved.
However, regardless of whether he’s right or wrong,
I definitely felt that Dionysus was conclusively judging that Artemis liked me based on narrow-minded assumptions, and was forcing all situations to fit into that conclusion.
It’s hard to explain…
If someone like this was around me, I wouldn’t ever want to get close.
I felt like his baseless speculation would drain all the energy out of me.
After briefly observing our exhausted expressions, Dionysus brushed his hands and approached us.
“I guess words alone aren’t enough.”
“Just lift the curse and go away.”
“I’ll lift the curse. But you have to meet my conditions.”
“What? Conditions? After causing all this trouble, now you’re demanding conditions? You decrepit person!”
As she lunged forward, ready to physically attack Dionysus, I barely managed to hold her back.
This won’t do, I told her, as I pulled her away from him.
Thinking it was now my turn, I stepped forward in front of her.
“State your condition, please.”
Judging from the basics, since he loves wine so much, he’ll probably ask for some, right?
In which case, I’m willing to give up half of the wine we salvaged from the curse bestowed by the Moon.
It has caused us unimaginable economic damage to our city.
“It’s simple. The Twelve Labors.”
“The Labors…?”
“Yeah. Didn’t your fourth Labor against Hermes finish a few weeks ago? Let’s just continue from there.”
“This is ridiculous! This is between me and Ark! Why are you butting in- Mmph! Mmph!”
“So you’re not just asking to continue the Labors… Are you also planning to interfere with the content of the fifth Labor?”
Unable to bear it any longer, I quickly covered Artemis’ mouth with both hands as she growled angrily and continued questioning.
But Dionysus wasn’t even looking at me.
He had casually swatted a mosquito on his arm and was scratching the red welt that immediately appeared.
When that didn’t stop the itching, he pressed the bite with his sharp nails in a crisscross pattern.
“Ark, I’ve actually been watching your Labors closely?”
“Yes.”
“Everything’s been good, but there was one strange point.”
“Please elaborate.”
“Artemis keeps complaining that she doesn’t want to be your girlfriend, so why exactly are you continuing the Labors one by one?”
“…”
“If you really didn’t want it, you could just throw in several extremely difficult Labors in a row to make it absolutely impossible to succeed. Why keep giving progressively harder Labors one after another? Isn’t that just helping Ark grow?”
Is Dionysus really just a decrepit drunkard living in alcohol?
His question actually transcends past, present, and future.
It’s like giving challenges that are surmountable to aid in growth.
A great example would be the smartphone games we enjoy.
If we presented an unbeatable boss from the start, players would quickly get bored and quit the game.
But if we release stages where players can barely win, balancing the difficulty step by step, players will find the game thrilling and engaging, unable to let go.
This is a common path to growth.
Dionysus obviously has a negative reaction to this conventional path.
“There’s an old saying about catching a cat: ‘first block the right and left paths, then corner it into a dead end.'”
“…”
“Based on this pattern, it only looks like Artemis is merely acting to legally become Ark’s girlfriend. But Artemis says it isn’t so? That’s why I’m stepping in to help.”
“What exactly are you trying to say?”
“It’s simple.”
He grinned slyly and began counting off on his fingers.
“Take on multiple connected Labors at once. How many should we go with?”
