Chapter 91

The advantages of my current life are many, but if I had to pick one, it would be the abundance of leisure.

Lying in bed doing nothing, myriad thoughts may arise: how to handle this project, the mess of the recent performance evaluation, and so on. But in truth, what first comes to mind is the boredom—it’s a life of such profound leisure.

Normally, when people visit the sick, one tends to reflect on the regrets of relationships or the futility of working life, yet I don’t feel any of these sentiments.

After all, I’m not even employed at the moment, and I haven’t even graduated from high school, so it’s laughable to feel regret for a life not yet lived.

Or is it?

Regardless, this place and situation are where I expected an important turning point in my life to happen. But it never did. Deep down, I was hoping to experience some epiphany, as if after finishing a self-help book and gaining some enlightenment about life. Unfortunately, none of that happened.

There was no grand declaration at the center of the living room table about leading a different life, no disruption of TV highlights. And after returning to my room with just a sense of having declared something, there wouldn’t be this mindset of ‘starting tomorrow.’ It was a truly satisfying day that didn’t come to pass.

Doing this and that, the turning point of life didn’t come, and there was nothing to do. I rolled from one side and then back to the other. My single-person hospital room, being part of our foundation-owned hospital, was quite comfortable. If the owner’s presence in an otherwise always empty room caused discomfort, it’d be quite the problem, so it was all well-prepared.

Beside my bed, there’s a fridge within arm’s reach, and in front is the TV. There’s a laptop under the table, and the bathroom is in the room, so no need to go outside. Although there’s extra space intended for medical equipment, I am not an aesthete, so I have no complaints.

But in the absence of an emergency, wouldn’t it be good to add something to the design? It’s one thing on the first day, but starting from the second day, it’s another. Managing patient stress is part of medical care; placing obvious unsettling elements in the ward would make the patient trust and follow the doctor, wouldn’t it?

I pressed the call button. Though I had some complaints, I wasn’t trying to be a problematic consumer. Just wondering when I can be discharged when there’s nothing wrong with me.

Unexpectedly, it was the security team leader who entered.

“Is there a problem?”

“Right….”

Judging from the speed of opening the door, it seemed they were waiting right outside, but what could I say to such a person?

Looking face-to-face without a reason made me feel slightly awkward.

Since there’s no reason, we can make one. Opening the refrigerator door, I noticed the obvious—there was no hot coffee in the fridge.

“There’s no coffee.”

The security team leader silently moved to the capsule coffee machine in the corner of the room.

Ah, there is coffee there.

“Upon reflection, I think custom-made coffee would be better.”

Opening the shelf above the coffee machine, tools for making custom coffee were retrieved. There is more in this room than expected, right? This isn’t home, so it’s better to eliminate unnecessary items and show the rational use of space, isn’t it?

“Actually, I’d prefer professional-made coffee.”

At this, it turns out the security team leader has barista experience.

Umm…

Getting to this point and admitting defeat is frankly really embarrassing.

“Making coffee in the room may cause a strong smell, which wouldn’t be good.”

I muttered something, but when I said it, it seemed reasonable.

Isn’t this what I wanted?

That must be it. I guess I pressed the call button just to say this. People act unconsciously after all.

“So, a branded coffee would be better.”

“What brand do you want?”

I just thought of it, but how did they know already?

Umm…

“Franchises don’t appeal much. Something unique would be nice, but the unfamiliarity should be balanced. Familiarity with a twist is good, but for a mood change, something extraordinary and distinctive would be ideal. Of course, it should still be popularly verified and shouldn’t ruin the mood.”

I’m not sure what I’m saying, but it’s not important.

Still, it feels like there’s something missing, so I added one more thing.

“Since I’m not overly picky about choosing coffee, bring something freely within the scope I mentioned.”

The security team leader took some notes and after staring at them intently, left to find some coffee.

I pressed the TV remote repeatedly. It didn’t respond because Mother blocked the Internet and TV in this room. She took away my smartphone, which is part of my independent property and personal privacy, long ago.

It must be because I caused a flood in Seoul by a magic mishap. She’s worried about how I’d handle related reactions and news, but shouldn’t she have left the smartphone? There’s nothing to do.

Living without a smartphone is incredibly hard. Everything that can be done is stored on the smartphone, though not entirely, but it’s a great device for wasting time. Exactly what I need right now.

Instead of sighing, it might be better to change perspectives. What if I never had a smartphone at all? I’d probably know some ways to pass the time then.

Ultimately, this is a cultural issue. A culture dependent on technology can no longer sustain itself once that technology is lost. The everyday serenity protected by this culture collapses alongside it, and humans are left to experience loss and lack. Only then do they realize the persistence of time, resisting the perpetual feeling of powerlessness, though it’s already too late. Humans, having lost the lighthouse of truth, are left with only the murky spirit that licks past glories while pleading for despair.

Or maybe not? That’s not quite right either.

Anyway, it’s time to learn the ancient sages’ wisdom on ways to waste time.

An Internet search would surely bring it up.

Oh, no smartphone.

After spacing out for a moment, I picked up a book on the table. Should I read it or not? I want to read the book but don’t want to read it. To put it differently, I want to engage in reading, but I don’t want to.

Hmm?

There’s no need for a different expression here.

I rested the book on my thigh and glanced at the cover.

For those who don’t avidly read or stick to bestsellers, it may not be immediately noticeable, but book cover designs evolve quite quickly. Though they can’t be compared to fast fashion in clothing, if one tried to document their evolution, they’d soon have properties covered wall-to-wall with books. Though not personally experienced.

Immediately, this book uses a single-colored, minimalist design, which may seem like a design that has lasted through the ages, but it’s not.

It’s entirely trendy because the font used for the title is one that’s currently popular in book design. The uniqueness of the font is emphasized through the use of a single-colored minimalist design. It might seem like a tiny difference from previous designs, but it could be considered as significant as the difference between Gullim (Gulim) and Gothic fonts.

It’s a good book. You can sense the designer’s love for it. Why? Because although the font’s difference might seem significant design-wise, it doesn’t really affect sales that much.

Mixing the latest font into a traditionally single-colored design doesn’t significantly boost sales either. Compared to how much effort was spent recognizing that the font is trendy, figuring out how to use it, and then finishing it on time, the outcome is modest.

The designer knew the efforts wouldn’t yield much, but still worked hard despite the lack of authority or risk to make bold attempts within the circumstances.

Time passed with the book rested on my thigh.

I didn’t read it, only imagined reading it. In my mind’s eye, the genius prodigy girl Current Sky was reading it. I don’t know what’s in the book; perhaps the Current Sky in my mind does.

The satisfaction of indirectly experiencing reading was interrupted by the security team leader entering with a cappuccino.

Holding the coffee cup, I felt a sense of familiarity. This is like remembering past office life.

The touch is extremely familiar, but what brand is this?

I looked at the cup for the brand name but didn’t find the name of the coffee shop I expected. Instead, there was something that shouldn’t be there: the hospital’s name. I had a strong premonition that this was one of those cups you’d find in the staff break room or waiting area for guests to make coffee.

Looking at the security team leader, they calmly began reading their notebook in a calm tone.

“A Swiss Mixed Coffee of a unique brand has been prepared; one that employs variations on basic methods while maintaining distinctiveness, yet is widely approved and not too unfamiliar. The verified barista, skilled in fundamentals, has hand-crafted it with exceptional milk foam.”

It seemed like a joke, but the security team leader was serious.

“…It’s a complicated feeling.”

I took a sip; it tasted good.

No matter how I thought about it, it was strange, but sweet and savory, making it delicious.

It really is a complicated feeling.

---