I was in a daze when I first saw Muk Ha-neul, unable to even notice what she had brought. In the shopping bag Muk Ha-neul had, there was food from a famous franchise that I had considered ordering yesterday.
I had no appetite, but my stomach was empty. I didn’t want to eat, but it wasn’t good to stay on an empty stomach. The food was still warm. I slowly took spoonfuls of the porridge and spoke.
“…But why did you come so late?”
“What? You were angry earlier that I came.”
“Well, if you were going to come anyway, you could have come a bit earlier.”
Hmm, even I thought that was unreasonable and ungrateful. I was scolding her for being late after having been furious just earlier.
Considering she must have had a schedule, something must have happened, but still, it wasn’t something to say to a junior who had eventually come to find me.
…It was true she was a bit late, though.
“Oh, I was originally going to go somewhere with my father. So I was getting ready, but after seeing your text, I canceled it. It wasn’t a situation where I could come right away, so I was a bit late.”
Still, Muk Ha-neul did not get angry at my unreasonable complaints. She merely explained her circumstances regarding the absurdity. Perhaps it was a way of making it known how busy she was and that she had made an effort to come, but it didn’t feel that way.
I also believed that Muk Ha-neul wouldn’t do that.
“Where were you going?”
“Uh… it was like a party. Just an event.”
“Speaking of which, you’re from a wealthy family too, right?”
“Oh, um… I guess that fits the narrative.”
“Do you have attendants or something?”
“Excuse me? No. I do have a housekeeper at home, but nothing like that. What era are we in?”
…Was Ham Yejin the strange one?
“Can you easily skip out on those things?”
“My dad did get a bit angry. I made excuses. But, it wasn’t that big of a deal, so you don’t have to worry about it. Honestly, at first, I was worried because you didn’t reply after I texted, and I thought about calling 119, but then I figured if you had the energy to send a text, you would have sent it directly. It seemed like you were in pain but not too badly, or you didn’t want me to call 119; it had to be one of those, so I came.”
“No, I was in pain. Really painful.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
Muk Ha-neul didn’t get angry. She just dismissed my whining with a suitable apology. Even though it was a pitiful complaint that I could laugh at myself for.
I hadn’t even eaten half of the porridge she brought, but it was already hard to eat. Putting something in my stomach warmed me a little and gave me some energy, but I couldn’t tell if it was really that or just what I wanted to feel.
I felt a breakdown in my language ability. I thought I was in better shape than earlier, but I felt like the situation was getting more serious.
After finishing the porridge, I lay back on the sofa. Although it’s bad to lie down right after eating, I didn’t have the energy to worry about that.
I grabbed the smartphone I had left on the sofa earlier. When I carefully turned it on, there were a lot of missed notifications at the top. I didn’t even think to open them and just pushed the smartphone aside again.
“You don’t have to answer.”
“I don’t know.”
“I get scared when Hwa-won is angry…”
“But you said you’d protect me.”
“No, I’ll try.”
Her attitude was a bit different from earlier. Hwa-won was, well, definitely a strong-built man, in the prime of his life. If he forced his way in, Muk Ha-neul wouldn’t have the strength to stop him.
“Are you really thinking Hwa-won will come just because of one text?”
…Indeed.
Why had I gotten so scared thinking Hwa-won would definitely come to find me? Our previous conversation had ended just like that. Maybe he already disliked me or thought I was annoying. Was my assumption that Hwa-won would definitely come just my delusion?
But despite that thought coming to mind, it was hard to imagine Hwa-won not coming to find me.
He didn’t have good feelings towards women, but he didn’t show it outwardly. Thus, his friendships were wide-ranging regardless of gender and were well regarded, except for frequently hanging out late at night with his female friends.
Though others might not know, I knew Hwa-won’s true feelings. He was tired of such relationships. That’s why when the two of us met, there were usually no other people around.
There had been similar incidents in the past.
Both Hwa-won and I had lived alone at that time. So if we got sick, we had to endure all of it alone. Being alone was undoubtedly a sad thing. I knew that better than anyone.
So when Hwa-won didn’t come to school one day without contacting me, I went to find him. When he finally came to the door after I rang the doorbell about five times, he looked pretty bad. Thankfully, he hadn’t come out after having fun with his girlfriend or girlfriends.
He grimaced at the sight of my face, but I was with Hwa-won that day anyway.
Since then, there had been no reason for either of us to get sick, and when I had a light illness once, I even stopped Hwa-won from coming over. When Hwa-won got sick again, I’d ask if I should come, but usually, his girlfriends filled in that spot (and of course, Hwa-won didn’t maintain long-term relationships with those girlfriends).
Our relationship didn’t involve any exchanges of favors.
Just because I took care of Hwa-won for a day wouldn’t mean I’d see it as a debt or exchange.
So this matter had nothing to do with that time. It had nothing to do with it, yet Hwa-won would still come.
After all, I had also gone to Hwa-won’s house at that time without it being related to anything.
“…Senior.”
“…Yes?”
“Just a moment.”
Muk Ha-neul suddenly approached me, lying on the sofa, and touched my forehead with her hand.
“Senior, you need to go to the hospital.”
“…What?”
“I think you have a bit of a fever. At least, it doesn’t seem like just that one thing. Your condition seems to have deteriorated, so you might have caught a cold or something.”
“…I don’t want to go to the hospital.”
“You went alone yesterday without issue. I’ll go inside and get you some clothes, so you change. It doesn’t seem like it’s worth worrying too much about, but I don’t think it’ll be fixed at home. And…”
At that moment, words sprung out together.
“But Hwa-won will come…”
“If you go to the hospital now, you can avoid Hwa-won too.”
….
It seemed that both I and Muk Ha-neul took a moment to grasp the meaning of what I had just said.
“Aren’t you trying to avoid him?”
“…Right.”
“Then that’s settled.”
Fortunately, Muk Ha-neul didn’t pry further into my words. She simply waved them off with a single “that’s settled.” I wanted to say something but didn’t know what, and in the end, I changed into clothes Muk Ha-neul had brought. She even helped with that.
Outside, a taxi that Muk Ha-neul had already called was waiting.
As soon as she got in, she told the driver to take us to the nearest hospital with an emergency room.
An emergency room, of course, is not just for critical patients, but thinking about going to the emergency room because of my period made me feel inexplicably embarrassed. Although I had a fever, it was indeed true that it coincided with my period.
Still, it wasn’t a time to insist on avoiding the emergency room, nor was I of an age to do so. In the end, I just closed my eyes and let it flow.
However, it didn’t turn out that I was going to the emergency room. As soon as Muk Ha-neul checked us in, the hospital called us in separately.
Now that I think about it, I had read something like that in a manual long ago. It mentioned that additional help could be obtained from nearby university hospitals, but I never imagined it would actually turn out this way. It seemed hard in the emergency room, but in a general hospital, one could get treatment a bit sooner.
Soon, I found myself lying on a bed facing the doctor.
“You have influenza… Have you had the vaccine that we’ve been recommending since last year?”
“I did get it.”
“When did you get it?”
“…When I was a man.”
“Since your condition changed suddenly, we can’t be sure how the previous vaccines will work. It seems like it’s worsened due to coincidence with your period, but it’s a good thing you came right away—it shouldn’t be a big problem. For now, we should have you hospitalized for a day and administer additional vaccines later, as long as there are no complications. We can decide on your discharge tomorrow based on how things progress.”
After the discussion, the doctor left. Soon a nurse came in to set up an IV.
“It’ll sting~”
Am I a child? Did they think I’d cry over something like this? Her tone was somewhat unnatural. Yet I didn’t have the strength to say anything about it.
It did hurt.
Just because the IV was set up didn’t mean my condition improved right away, but I felt a bit better. Was it because I was under the protection of the hospital?
I never really thought that I was particularly susceptible to the placebo effect, but lately, things seemed to take effect quickly. Of course, I wasn’t taking fake medicine or anything, but improving immediately as soon as I ate or got an IV was probably just a matter of the mind.
Muk Ha-neul stepped outside to make a brief phone call. Being left alone in the hospital room made a heavy sigh escape me.
It was hard not to sigh when just having a bit of bleeding from between my legs had led to this situation. Why did I have to go through this? The fact that the pain I felt this morning was due to influenza, not my period, was a slight consolation, but I wasn’t sure it mattered. After all, I had already exposed everything to Muk Ha-neul and sent such a message to Hwa-won.
The smartphone that had been ringing incessantly at home was quiet now. Had Hwa-won given up? Or was he knocking on the door of my empty house? If it were Hwa-won, it would be the latter, but I felt slightly dizzy thinking that just because I wanted the latter did not necessarily mean it would happen.
Muk Ha-neul would be back soon. Given the situation, Ham Yejin might also come by. I didn’t want to show this state to women, but it was somewhat better than showing it to a man. In that sense, it was a relief that only Muk Ha-neul and Ham Yejin had seen me in this state.
What a relief.
The door opened.
It opened without a knock, so I thought it must be Muk Ha-neul, but when I turned my head, there stood Hwa-won with an exasperated expression and Muk Ha-neul with an awkward look. I felt like I was about to lose my white hair again.
What should I say here?
Words weren’t necessary.
I simply pulled the blanket over my head and hid.
