Chapter 94

Chapter 94: The Great Cleanup

Luna hurled a plant at me, one with striking red petals. It was the same kind that used to grow on the heads of the giant rats and the one Somnia had chewed raw.

Was it called hesheesh? I know its potency well since I’ve faced its effects head-on.

“Hey! If you eat this raw, it can knock out an elephant for a whole day!”

“Well, there’s no other way!”

Luna was absolutely right. With a terrifying monster glaring at us, this wasn’t the time to be picky.

“GRRHH, KRRHH!”

“d*mn it!”

Taking advantage of the moment while Somnia had her fist stuck into the wall and was groaning, I, with a somewhat resigned feeling, shoved the hesheesh flower into my mouth.

Crunch, crunch—it tasted unbearably spicy the moment I chewed it.

No, this wasn’t just taste; it was pure agony.

“AAHHG!!”

It felt as if my sanity was flying away from the unbearable spiciness.

I could understand why Somnia’s skin turned red and she drooled under her mask. Eating something this raw really could drive someone mad.

‘Temporary increase in strength value by 3.’

‘Temporary acquisition of Frenzy.’

‘Pluto’s artifact negates harmful mental effects.’

Though other notifications floated before my eyes, I was too distracted, my tears streaming as if my entire spirit was being drained. My whole body tensed.

Sweat poured down my body and my mouth burned furiously—man, I was really worked up.

“ZBRAAAK!”

It felt a bit different than what I expected, but the added strength coursing through my body was undeniable.

In an attempt to release that frustration, I swung my club horizontally towards Somnia, hitting her squarely in the back.

WHOOSH, CRACK!

“GYAAAK!”

Somnia screamed under her mask from the force of my attack. I unleashed my full strength in that swing.

Though I thought breaking a bone or two wouldn’t be out of place, her body was much tougher than I anticipated.

“d*e already, you b*stard!”

BAM, BAM! BAM!

With her fist stuck into the wall, I repeatedly beat Somnia’s torso with the club. An old saying goes, ‘the cure for madness is a club,’ doesn’t it?

“HIICK, HUCK! HRKK!”

It certainly seemed to be effective.

However, despite all the blows, Somnia kept screaming, showing no signs of collapsing or losing consciousness. Perhaps it was time for the finishing blow?

So, I lifted my club with both hands and aimed at the bulky and weird mask covering her face.

WHOOSH!

“G-get off me!”

Just as Somnia pulled her arm out from the wall and tilted her head back as if regaining her senses, my hand was already in motion like an arrow released from a bow—irreversible.

CRACK—.

Instantly, my club shattered the mask on her head, revealing her bare face.

The first thing I saw were messy bandages. Through them, pinkish hair sprouted sparsely.

Her ear and forehead, which she hadn’t managed to cover, were grotesquely twisted.

It seemed as if these were likely burn scars. Could the bandages wrapped around her face be to conceal these scars? Whatever it was, it must have been extremely painful.

“Uh… don’t… don’t look…!”

A moment ago, Somnia was crazily frenzied, but now she shielded her face with both palms, seemingly at a loss of what to do.

“Don’t… don’t look! You b*stard! I’ll pluck out your eyes!”

She trembled like a baby animal caught red-handed by a predator, perhaps feeling shame for being exposed.

Because of this unexpected sight, the strength in my grip on the club slowly faded.

Mysteriously, all traces of fighting spirit disappeared.

At that moment,

“Hassan! Don’t let your guard down!!”

Luna suddenly appeared from somewhere, raising a totem of silence with both hands and striking Somnia’s face directly.

CRACK!

“GAAAK!”

Struck in the face, Somnia fell to the ground, rolling around.

But Luna’s frenzy did not stop.

“Heretic! d*e! Go d*e already!”

“GYERRK, HUICK!”

WHACK, THUD! THUD!

After repeatedly hammering her face, Luna finally let out a sigh and stopped her actions when Somnia could no longer speak, only trembling in convulsions.

“Hufff. I crushed her….”

SSSHHHHH…

Swollen and puffed up, Somnia’s body released an odd mist, returning to its original physique. Was she completely unconscious now?

Seeing this, Luna triumphantly raised both arms in the air.

“Huff, it’s done! Hassan! We beat her!”

“Uh… yes!”

“Even so, she’ll regain consciousness pretty quickly! Let’s restrain her fast!”

Luna’s judgment was entirely correct. I quickly snapped out of it, and together we worked to restrain Somnia.

We stuffed her mouth with a gag, bent her arms and legs backward, and bound her with my club. Since we lacked an eye patch, we simply emptied a leather pouch and shoved it over her head.

After thoroughly and excessively tying her up in this manner, a wave of relief finally rushed over me, and I completely relaxed.

“Hmph, seriously, I thought I was going to d*e. Who would’ve thought there’d be a cultist around? Did Hamelin know about this? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

This was practically driving someone to their d*ath! I was so furious. My whole body ached, and my mouth felt like it was on fire, having tasted something akin to dynamite.

“You d*mn fool! There’s a talisman in her pocket! And it’s a real rare one too!!”

During this, Luna didn’t forget to rummage through Somnia’s pocket, farming items. Actually, taking belongings from the defeated is a basic and essential behavior.

“Dagger!”

Among the various items, the most striking reaction from Luna was likely the small conical dagger that Somnia previously wielded as a weapon.

“Jeez, this is incredible… There are sorcery-enhancing enchantments on it… It’s a real obsidian dagger. HAHHH!”

Luna trembled as if she didn’t know what to do with the dagger now in her hand, behaving like someone who had just received a unique item for their job after defeating a boss.

Thinking about it, this wasn’t too far from reality.

“Is it good? It looks ominous.”

It didn’t seem very practical as a weapon.

The short and strange conical blade seemed incapable of stabbing others or handling monster remains.

“This is amazing… Hey, Hassan, can I take this? Huh?”

“Go ahead, then.”

“Really?! d*mn!”

She started swaying back and forth, unable to contain her joy.

“What are you doing?”

“The dance of joy’s voodoo!”

I had no idea what this “voodoo of joy” was, but Luna placed her hands on her waist and started swaying her hips, shoulders, and head from side to side, mimicking a pendulum.

Her quirky and comical movements made me inexplicably calm down, either from tension or a sense of rhythm.

“Huh, understood. Now let’s either destroy or break whatever sorceries or spells are left.”

“I’ll take care of it! Hassan, you rest!”

After securing Somnia, we destroyed the hexagonal magical rune carved deep in the underground sewer using our feet.

Surprisingly, all the bushes that had densely covered the underground sewer dried up and withered. It was truly amazing to the point where I couldn’t find any words.

We can consider the content of the request given by Hamelin as completed, right?

*

When we returned to the tent in the underground sewer, Hamelin greeted us, already waiting outside.

Even when she saw Somnia, the captured cultist hanging from my grip, she didn’t react in the slightest.

I thought I needed to clearly point out what she failed to mention, so I boldly protested.

“Come on, Hamelin, if you’d known there was such a dangerous person, you should’ve warned us. We almost got killed, you know…!”

“…”

However, Hamelin stood there silently without a word in response to my protest. Was she suggesting I take the consequence?

People in this world tend to sometimes act a bit too arbitrarily like that.

This is why you should never take quests outside the Guild casually. There are risks of price reductions for absurd reasons or doing bizarre quests yet not getting paid.

“Show me your hand.”

At that moment, Hamelin, who had been silent for a while, finally spoke.

“What is it?”

Her words made me wonder if she was about to slip a gold coin into my palm, so I cautiously held out my hand. Soon after, Hamelin handed me an odd brooch she had been tightly gripping in her hand.

“…A rat?”

It was Luna who reacted to it.

According to Luna, what Hamelin placed on my palm was a tiny rat-shaped brooch.

Made of bronze with small bright red eyes like tiny rubies, it didn’t appear to be particularly valuable.

d*mn, so what am I supposed to do with this? Disappointment was brief, though.

‘Achievement ‘The Great Cleanup’ has been completed: Obtained a Normal Tier Artifact, the Gray Rat Brooch.’

‘Mission Bonus +100’

‘Karma increased after calculating recent missions.’

‘Agility +2’

“Whoa, d*mn!”

I had already experienced the achievement completion and calculation once.

Back in the days when I was a slave of Elpride, obtaining Clepios’ staff revealed such letters floating before my eyes.

“Though it’s a little different from what I expected… Anyways, my part is done. Time to rest. There’s plague protection, and I’m tired, so I’ll sleep for a while.”

With those words, Hamelin returned to the tent. Soon, an even, steady breathing sound spread from inside, indicating she had likely fallen asleep.

I was extremely angry just a moment ago, but with the direct increase in stats and bonus mission points, my rage disappeared completely, leaving me somewhat dazed.

“…Long live Chaos.”

Muttering so quietly that no one could hear, a notification appeared.

‘Name: Hassan Level 10

Strength: 5 (+3)

Agility: 2->4

Health: 3

Mission Points: 412

Blessings: Blessing of Chaos, Shining Hand, Cloak of Night’

I quickly noticed many numbers had changed. The +3 next to Strength must be because I consumed the hesheesh plant, right?

Now that I’m aware, my mouth starts tingling again.

d*mn, I really never want to taste this again.

With that, we moved towards the surface. As we walked, Luna suddenly thought of something and asked,

“Hey, Hassan, how do we get out? The ladder’s broken, remember?”

“Oh, right. What should we do?”

So there we stood in front of the broken entrance, unsure of what to do.

“Should we scream for help? Someone might pass by and hear us.”

Luna’s suggestion seemed quite plausible, given we had no other options.

“Is there anyone up there! We’re trapped here!”

While we shouted by the broken ladder, someone moved above.

“What are you two doing down there?”

It was Rut from the grocery store.

“The ladder’s broken!”

“Ah, wait a moment.”

Thus, a long wooden ladder was lowered through the manhole. d*mn, thanks to this, we avoided spending the night here in the sewer.

“I see someone unfamiliar here. The way she’s tied up suggests she’s not a good person, does it?”

The grocery store owner Rut helped me up after I climbed the ladder, obviously curious about Somnia tied to my back.

“Anyway, I came here after hearing someone shouting. Quite fortunate, indeed.”

“Thank you!”

“Huh, as I’ve noticed before, you sure are laconic.”

“Yup!”

With the short thank-you from Luna, we hurried towards the Mars Guild building.

Approaching it, we saw makeshift tents erected like in a battlefield camp, amid the shattered building debris.

“Is anyone there?”

Shouting towards the tents, a woman emerged making rustling sounds. I initially mistook her for someone else due to the unfamiliar armor, but it was Hippolyte.

Did she get new armor? d*mn, jealous.

“Samaritan Hassan, didn’t I say guild operations are temporarily suspended?”

“Hippolyte! We’ve captured a cultist!”

“Huh? Er… Hmm, oh… No… Nox-dotty is here too, I see. Lately, my throat isn’t good, so sometimes I cough. Hmm, but you said cultist?”

“Right here.”

I set down Somnia, who was tied onto my back, in front of Hippolyte. Only after handing Somnia over did I feel any sense of relief.

Like placing down a bag full of bombs in a safe place—right?

Hippolyte is strong enough, so if this cultist suddenly revives and struggles, she’ll handle it. Besides, it’s still daytime.

“…”

Hippolyte frowned.

“Ah, removing the mask, I thought I recognized her. Indeed, she’s a cultist sorcerer who worships idols and the deceased. Did you capture her? Despite that, there’s quite a skill gap between the two of you.”

“Hmm… Well, we were just lucky.”

“Yes, luck. An important factor in determining victory or defeat. Anyway, good job. I’ll send her off to prison. We’ll meet here tomorrow to talk more details. Go clean up and rest.”

Thus, we were again allowed to take a well-deserved weekend rest.

After visiting the baths to thoroughly wash away the grime from the underground sewer and our bodies, we stepped outside to find the sun had completely set, and two moons were shining in the sky.

“It’s dinner time!”

Though Luna cheerfully announced it, I honestly wasn’t in the mood to eat dinner. The lingering effects of the hesheesh still made my mouth burn.

“This is really painful. Is there any way to alleviate this?”

Responding to my question, Luna, still damp from her bath, fidgeted uncomfortably, smoothing her hair.

“Hmm, it’s not impossible, but it’s a bit difficult and complex…”

“What is it? Try anything. I feel like I’m gonna d*e from the spiciness!”

“Alright, come here then.”

Luna led me to a cornered and dim place. Then she tapped my knees and thighs, making me bend my posture.

“Sit like this. Imagine an invisible chair in the air.”

“And I have to close my eyes!”

Indeed, the method of this sorcery was rather strange.

But I felt like I could eat dirt if it could ease this burning sensation, so I followed Luna’s instructions obediently.

Eyes closed, body bent awkwardly in the air.

“Is this good? Done?”

“Uh, yes! You need to stay still—.”

Softly.

Something very small and warm suddenly touched my eyelid and forehead. Was it Luna’s palm? What was it?

In that instantaneous confusion,

Squish.

Something soft and plushy touched my lips, then something even softer and warmer entered my mouth.

With my eyes closed, it felt as if only my face had been transported to another world.

“TSLURP… Okay, it’s done!”

When I opened my eyes, Luna’s face under the moonlight looked slightly blushed after washing, and a sweet, subtle scent wafted around, making me feel good.

“Hey, how’s it feel now? Aren’t you still spicy?”

Luna grinned, wiping her lips with her wrist.

For some reason, my face was burning fiercely, and my heart thudded violently. Was it because of the effects of the hesheesh plant? Or was it the excitement leftover from the fight with Somnia?

Or maybe because of Luna’s peculiar sorcery that was cast on me?

Luna, who had turned extraordinarily red, looked down at her feet and mumbled shyly.

“Well, let’s see who gets home faster! The loser buys breakfast tomorrow!”

“Let’s go!”

“Hey, you b*stard!”

The world of competition is cruel.

[Postscript]

It’s almost at episode 100!

A month of serialization… 100 episodes… This feels surreal!

But Hassan here is so inept he hasn’t even properly charmed Luna, leaving little room for the kind of romantic shenanigans we were all craving…

Missed opportunity…

Taking another deep breath… Hmhh…

—!

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