There was definitely a similar situation before. Back then, I excused my tears as being from the pain and deceived myself. I said they were tears of shame from being protected while in pain. I always lived by deceiving myself like that.
…This time, let’s be honest. Starting now, let’s be honest. So, I was happy. Just the fact that there was someone who truly loved me made me so incredibly happy that I cried.
At the same time, I was sad. Sad because my entire life had been negated. The fact that my mother, my only support, was actually the one I should have truly sought revenge on filled me with an indescribable sense of betrayal and despair, causing endless tears to flow. I pitied myself for clinging to something futile, feeling wretched.
When it came down to it, there were far more bad reasons than good ones. But the reason I didn’t give up on life was because I no longer wanted to run away. I wanted to live according to my own will, whether as a man or a woman, I had always been swayed by others’ wishes. Every time, I ended up running away. I didn’t want that. It felt unfair. Isn’t wanting to build a peaceful family, to be a good parent to my child, and to pass on happy memories unlike my own a dream too terrible to come true?
No, it isn’t.
And there’s another thing—yes, Myungho was there. There was someone who truly loved me, someone who would lighten my burdens when I was sad, someone who would share in my joy when I smiled.
Someone who would catch me when I fell and willingly support me from behind when I wanted to rise.
With such a person around, how could I irresponsibly run away? This wasn’t about being a man; it was about being human. I didn’t want to disappoint someone who genuinely cared for me. I didn’t want to confine such a person with notions of masculinity.
So, let’s send off the idea of being just a man. Let’s also send off the stifling expectations placed on the eldest son. People can’t be confined by such trivial things.
Crying in his arms, I composed my thoughts. I wanted to live. I didn’t want to throw away this second chance, gained unwillingly, the way I had the first.
So, let’s live. Not commit suicide. The story takes a turn. I thought the world was nothing but cold and cruel, but there are places like this that are warm and gentle.
“…Are you feeling better now?”
After crying in his arms for quite some time, my head felt a little clearer. Myungho asked if I was okay while holding me tightly. I wasn’t alright, but having him made it much better.
“…Yeah. A little better. That… I’m sorry. For trying to run away and… asking you to do something awful…”
Thinking clearly now, I realized just how terrible a thing I had asked him to do. Asking your most precious person to please kill you…
It was horribly selfish of me. If Myungho ever asked me, “Kill me,” what would I do…
Just imagining it made it hard to breathe. I had committed something truly despicable. Feeling apologetic, tears welled up again. I don’t usually cry like this, why am I doing it now, repeatedly? I wanted to do something for him because I was sorry.
“It’s okay. But promise me one thing. No matter what happens, you won’t give up on life. Got it, Alterra?”
“…It’s not Alterra… it’s Alterrait….”
“Huh?”
What could I possibly give him? He saved me from drowning, forgave my rudeness, gave me the courage to live, and even taught me how to navigate this world.
What could I give in return to make it fair? Since receiving life is akin to receiving everything, giving something equivalent might make it fair. That thought crossed my mind.
“…My true name. It’s Alterrait. Mom told me to hide it, but… well, what does it matter? You know. Just keep it secret from others.”
After much deliberation, all I could offer him right now was my true name. As for my heart… I needed a bit more time to prepare. Moreover, I didn’t want to confess or receive a confession while I was in such a mess.
Afraid someone might overhear, I shyly whispered my true name into his ear like a young girl confessing her feelings, and he seemed momentarily lost in thought.
“…Oh, sure, I’ll keep it a secret. Um, I mean, uh… thank you for telling me…? Anyway, let’s go back. Yuna must be worried sick about you. And… we still have unresolved matters, right? Right?”
Myungho, seemingly overwhelmed, started rambling before changing the subject entirely. His flustered expression made me smile despite my earlier tears. They say laughing after crying gives you devil horns, but since I have a tail, maybe it’s fine.
Right… Yuna would definitely be worried. She prayed for my success. To end up like this, at the worst possible conclusion, and even disappearing—it must have been scary for her.
But the unresolved matters… Oh, right.
We hadn’t yet settled things with the witch. We hadn’t held her accountable for her sins. All because I ran away disgracefully.
I won’t run anymore. From now on, starting today, I will carve my destiny with my own will, not someone else’s.
Thus, I had to bid farewell to the lingering shadows of my past. Gently slipping out of his embrace, I said I’d cried enough and it was time to go back.
“…Thank you, Myungho, for holding onto me. Let’s go back. There are things to resolve, so could you guide me? It’s kind of embarrassing, but I got here in a rush and don’t know the way back…”
Embarrassed, I avoided eye contact and fiddled with my hair, and Myungho motioned for me to follow him as he moved in a certain direction. Looking toward the horizon, the sun was setting in the east, painting the sky red.
How beautiful this world is. Despite the surrounding gray wasteland devoid of anything, it had an inexplicable charm. Nothing seemed to have changed significantly.
Oh, right. One thing did change—my heart. I…
…No. Not yet. Maybe someday, but not yet. Calming my emotions and clearing my mind, I considered what questions to ask, what to reclaim, and how to settle things.
Before I could finish thinking, we arrived at the crystal mass. Yuna immediately rushed over and hugged me tightly upon seeing me.
“Alterra! Are you alright?! Myungho! What happened?! No, wait… Alterra. Goodness… how heartbreaking…”
Yuna teared up, pitying me. Akashi cautiously approached and praised me for somehow not committing suicide, though his praise strangely worsened my mood.
“There’s no need to cry… don’t be too sad, Yuna. I’m really fine. Um… could you step aside for a moment? I still have something to do.”
Yuna, wiping her tear-streaked cheeks against my face, asked why when I requested she step aside briefly.
Without saying anything, I pointed my finger at the nearby crystal, indicating there was business to attend to.
Though I hadn’t said anything, Myungho began inscribing the crystal. Before that, I made one request of him.
“…Myungho, erase my name from the witch’s memory.”
Myungho nodded and resumed inscribing the crystal. I could see his mana flowing into it. It looked somewhat strenuous, so I subtly embraced him from behind to share my mana.
This position allows the closest transfer of mana.
Quietly, the crystal figure’s head began to move, and the witch started speaking.
“There’s no way to return the stolen soul. Unless the soul is directly extracted and separated… Daught… Daughter?! Daughter! Oh, my child has come to save me! Oh, thank goodness…! I thought I was doomed… Come, daughter! Kill them… Daughter… Daughter… What was your name again…?”
The witch, upon seeing me, seemed ready to command my party members to die, calling out my true name as expected.
Truly, a repulsive woman.
“A… Could it be…!”
“That’s right. With Myungho’s help. How does it feel to have your soul manipulated at will? Not unpleasant, is it?”
I approached the crystal, ignoring her ranting, and gently caressed her face.
Then, I forcefully pulled her head out of the crystal. Already riddled with cracks, the crystal shattered surprisingly easily.
The extracted head screamed loudly. Ignoring it, I swung it around a bit before confronting her directly, looking straight into her eyes.
“…Mother. This is a sincere question. Why did you bring me into this world?”
The crystal remained silent.
If that’s the case, I have nothing more to say. I took the head to Myungho and asked him to write one last thing.
“Myungho, trap the witch’s consciousness within nightmares.”
“Daughter, daughter! Mother is so sorry…! Ugh…”
Annoyed by her talking, I grabbed a rock from the ground and stuffed it into her mouth. Myungho silently inscribed something on the head with his brush, transforming it into something that could only emit unintelligible screams.
Too noisy. I pinned it to the ground with my foot. Meanwhile, I noticed that the purple cracks on Myungho’s sword had completely disappeared, so I drew it and gripped it upside down.
“…Disappear from my life!!!”
With all my strength, I struck the sword down, splitting the crystal head in two.
A dark, murky purple aura seeped out of the severed head and was sucked into the sword.
“…Phew.”
Breaking free from the past wasn’t as relieving as I’d imagined. It simply felt like I had done what had to be done.
I pulled the sword from the ground and returned it to Myungho. Upon receiving it, he muttered something, summoning the black soul and separating something from it.
A golden stone.
“…Take it. It’s your original power.”
As soon as I took the luminous golden stone, I instinctively knew what to do with it.
Naturally, I swallowed it whole.
Immediately, I felt something empty inside me being filled.
Knowledge, instincts—things that rightfully belonged to me were returning. The ability to manipulate mana and intricately work metals came back as well.
Wrapping mana around my arm like scales, I simultaneously summoned a large iron sword from the earth.
…This is how it’s done.
“Such an anticlimactic ending. So, what do you plan to do next?”
The dragon, which had remained silent until now, shared its lackluster opinion and asked me what I planned to do next.
“…I intend to create a family. A happy one.”
“Dreaming of family after abandoning your own, or precisely because you abandoned it? Well, good luck. Though I doubt your father will approve.”
The dragon casually informed me that if I wanted to be happy, I would eventually have to kill my father.
…Indeed, there’s no other choice. Then, I will certainly do it.
No matter what it takes.
