“El? You’ve looked really unwell lately. Is everything alright?”
“…I was debating whether to say anything, but it seems Selia has decided to speak on my behalf.”
“Huh? There’s nothing wrong. Am I really that unwell-looking?”
“Yes, you have dark circles under your eyes, your skin looks dry and flaky, and you seem to be spacing out. Even your actions feel devoid of energy.”
…Am I really in such bad condition?
“ahaha…lately, I found an interesting novel and stayed up reading it, so I didn’t get much sleep. Selia, you should try reading it sometime.”
“No thanks, novels aren’t really my thing. I’ll just take your word for it and appreciate the recommendation.”
Well, I’ve never seen Selian reading novels. All the books she reads are either textbooks or ones related to heroes.
When I’ve tried glancing at the books she borrows, I’ve felt a headache coming on, so I remember putting them back quickly.
“No matter how good the book is, you still need to sleep at night.”
Although I don’t remember it happening, Yuli was reprimanding me like a mother scolding her child.
But her voice was filled with worry, making it hard to argue back.
“Alright, alright. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure to go to sleep earlier from now on.”
“Heheh. Even El is getting scolded! You should’ve gone to bed earlier!”
“…Anne, you did remember to do your homework, right? Isn’t today the day the monster ecology assignment was due?”
Her lively chatter stopped abruptly the moment Yuli shifted her focus to Anne.
“Anne?”
“Uh…what should I do? I said I’d do it yesterday, but I fell asleep right after sitting at the desk… Ugh…”
“You guys should’ve studied together instead of fooling around. I’ll watch over you—quick, take out your notebook.”
“Uh, it’s fine! I can make up for any shortcomings with my practical scores…”
“You did the same thing last time, and how many points did you lose from your written test? You could’ve received the scholarship if you’d only performed averagely.”
I quickly intervened to keep Yuli from turning her scolding back to me and directed her toward Anne.
Fortunately, Yuli’s nagging and Selian’s worries were now focused on Anne.
Watching this, I quietly sighed to myself without my friends noticing.
I’ve been too complacent.
My friends were more sensitive to my condition than I’d anticipated.
To me, my dark circles didn’t seem that bad, and I thought I was acting normally compared to usual, but apparently not in their eyes.
I can’t worry them unnecessarily.
This is my karma, my original sin to carry.
—
—Are you really planning to betray the guild? Why haven’t we heard from you?
After the roll call in the middle of the night.
It was already past bedtime, and the single-occupancy room, where no one else would come in, was where I communicated through the crystal ball.
Damn. Due to all the thoughts recently, I haven’t been able to sleep. I already got scolded by Yuli and Selian this morning, so there’s no way I can sleep early tonight either.
I destroyed the communication orb long ago, lying that it was accidentally broken, yet last time when the number 2 agent visited, despite the guild’s strained finances, he handed me a new communication orb.
As annoyed as I am and want to throw it away right now, doing so would eliminate any chance of excusing myself.
“Don’t worry. I’ll carry it out soon.”
—Mhm. I’ll trust that. After all, you’re my greatest masterpiece. There’s no way you would disappoint me.
The confidence in the guild master’s voice is most likely due to the master-slave mark.
If he commands me through the scroll, then I can’t resist that command.
The only relief is that he can’t enforce the command from such a great distance.
—But it seems our client is somewhat urgent. Let’s set a deadline.
Until now, I’ve made various excuses and fabricated all sorts of stories to delay the assassination mission from the guild master’s orders.
But none of my efforts can withstand even a single comment from the guild master.
—The last day of the Celestial Festival. Complete the mission by then.
“…Understood. I’ll ensure success.”
—Heh…heh. Successfully complete this mission, and our guild will officially be recognized as a top-tier assassination guild. And among them, you will be the best.
Thankfully, the communication crystal only relays the voice, not the appearance. Even without a mirror, it’s obvious what expression I’m wearing right now.
—Don’t forget. All your thoughts and actions are within my control.
“…Yes.”
Fk.
When I was a 3-number agent, I may not have used such vulgar language, but ever since I became “Alicia,” I’ve never let such harsh swearing escape my lips until now, carried by a woman’s soft voice.
Since the communication has already ended, there’s no worry about my voice being transmitted.
I buried the communication orb somewhere out of sight, then lay down on the bed.
Just as Selian and Yuli mentioned, my body is sending signals that it wants to sleep immediately. On the flip side, my mind, increasingly more complicated, refused to let me rest.
One hour, two hours, three hours…
Despite tightly shutting my eyes, sleep evaded me as the day turned into the next. I got up from the bed again.
Instead, I gripped the sword that I had bought during our last outing to town with my friends, placed beside the bed.
The shape of the sword, the balance when I lift it, and even the grip feel slightly large in my hands, but I don’t pay much attention to it.
Rather, the fact that it feels so different from the previous sword, which I’ve used for over ten years, brings me immense satisfaction.
It reassures me that I’ve changed from who I was.
Plus, it gives me the advantage of being prepared for any emergency.
Holding the sword, I stood in front of the full-length mirror.
The sword’s reflection, as well as the person holding the sword, looked different from the one I’ve known for over a decade.
The form of “Alicia” rather than “3-Number.”
I stood still for a moment and stared at the mirror, then pulled down my pajama bottoms and adjusted my panties down to rest on my pelvic bone, revealing the tattoo of the master-slave mark hidden underneath.
No matter how much I struggled to change into something different than what I was before, this accursed tattoo refuses to let me go.
If it weren’t for this damnable thing, could I have lived a somewhat more ordinary life?
Could I have simply grown up in a normal household, received scoldings and affection from my parents as a regular kid, rather than being trained to become an assassin?
Of course, I wouldn’t be in a woman’s body in such a scenario.
What kind of person would my mother be? She’d probably be someone who’s considerate most of the time like Yuli but knows how to scold me when needed—a warm-hearted individual.
And what about my father? Perhaps he’d be stern in everyday life, but when I feel crestfallen because of something, he’d quietly appear and give me a word of encouragement before disappearing.
It’s possible that I might have had siblings.
Would they be an older sister, a younger sister, or perhaps an older or younger brother?
If I could wish, I’d want an older sister. She could come close when I’m going through something difficult and give me a tight embrace to comfort me.
Growing up in such a harmonious household, I’d probably make close friends with whom I’d share common interests, and who knows, I might even meet someone I truly love someday.
Of course, there’s a possibility that I would experience heartbreak.
But if I were me, I could overcome the pain of rejection, right?
And by the time I’ve forgotten the pain, I’d finally meet the person I truly love.
At first, we might feel a little awkward around each other. Then the other person might smile amusedly at my shy ways.
That would mean half the battle is won.
Slowly but surely, without rushing, I would approach her, gradually lowering her guard because she finds my innocence endearing.
When an opportunity presents itself, I would make my move confidently and snatch her.
She’d be surprised and fall for me, just as I fell for her.
After both of us confirm our feelings, we can nurture our affinity until the day we’re ready to tie the knot.
Let’s make the wedding a small affair, inviting only our respective families.
As for children, one son who looks like me and one daughter who looks like my wife would be enough. But…
Who knows, she might also be greedy and want more kids.
As we raise our children, we’ll gradually grow old. Eventually, our children will marry and bless us with grandchildren.
Just imagining sitting the adorable grandchildren down and reading fairy tale books to them makes me smile involuntarily.
And when the grandchildren have grown up and become adults, I’d like to sit under a tree with a cool breeze, holding my wife’s hand, and gently close my eyes.
That way, I might have lived an ordinary but happy life.
—
If only this master-slave mark didn’t exist.
I raised one hand and scratched the cursed tattoo with my slightly overgrown fingernails, once, then again, again and again.
Even as red marks formed on the skin, wounds appeared from scratching, and blood began to trickle down from torn flesh, the master-slave mark stubbornly refused to disappear.
