**Chapter 357: Gan Yan Yu’s Hypocritical Mask?**
As soon as the words were out, a hint of panic flashed across Gan Yan Yu’s face.
“N-no, maybe just a little,” she mumbled quietly.
“Your heart’s in chaos,” Lin Tian declared, as if he were diagnosing her with a terminal illness.
Clearly, the root of Gan Yan Yu’s dilemma was obvious and painfully real.
You see, Gan Yan Yu rarely aired her anxieties about the upcoming competition to Lin Tian. In the beginning, she would candidly express her nerves and unease to him, but as their duet practice grew more refined, those conversations dwindled to almost nothing.
Maybe it was because she didn’t want to drag Lin Tian down with her negativity, or perhaps she simply didn’t want to share her feelings.
In any case, when it came to competition jitters, Lin Tian found it rare to hear Gan Yan Yu confide her troubles.
But that didn’t mean—
Just because she didn’t say it, didn’t mean it wasn’t there.
In fact, Gan Yan Yu had always been fiercely competitive.
Her desire for victory was something she never articulated but consistently expressed through her actions.
“I just can’t help it,” she sighed lightly. “I’ve been trying really hard to adjust my mindset, but the voices in my head are incredibly loud.”
“What voices?” Lin Tian asked, intrigued.
“If we lose here, all our efforts will be for nothing! Our dreams will be shattered! I’d have to apologize to grandpa and the whole world!” She animatedly gestured with her hands, as if performing a dramatic skit.
With a childlike innocence on her face, her eyes nevertheless sparkled with determination.
“…”
“Fair point,” Lin Tian acknowledged.
With that, he finally grasped the underlying issue.
The piece “Moonlight” was something meant to be savored quietly, like a fine wine.
What Gan Yan Yu needed to do was change her perspective.
She had to shift from being immersed in a narrative to stepping back and viewing it from above, showcasing its beauty to the audience.
This mental shift was breaking away from her ingrained performance style, which might be tricky, but not insurmountable.
The real problem lay in her current state of anxiety and unease, which was keeping her trapped in the moment—hence, Lin Tian called it a “chaotic heart.”
Even if it seemed that Gan Yan Yu was handling everything else just fine outside of this.
But music doesn’t lie.
Lin Tian could hear the uncertainty woven into her playing.
“…”
Taking a deep breath, Lin Tian stepped in front of Gan Yan Yu.
He placed his hand on her shoulder, his fingers grazing her neck.
Her body jolted like she had been zapped by a lightning bolt, tensing up, but she gradually straightened her neck while looking into Lin Tian’s eyes.
“Teacher Gan, listen to me,” he said earnestly, “This competition isn’t everything for us.”
“Even if we lose in the semifinals of the Dragon Zither Cup, we have a chance to come back two years from now—it’s really not a big deal!”
“Like I said, no matter how many years it takes, I’ll stick with you!”
Lin Tian realized that the best way to help Gan Yan Yu was to view this competition like just another gig.
The weight of her expectations had clouded her ability to think clearly.
The word “dream” was just too heavy.
It had become unwittingly tied to the competition in her mind.
“…”
Gan Yan Yu remained silent, her gaze slightly drooping.
“You said it yourself, right?” Lin Tian prompted, “Our dream is to let more people hear our classical music. Winning the Cole Cup is indeed a fantastic platform, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only option!”
That was what Lin Tian had wanted to tell her the whole time.
This competition was never going to be their one shot.
It wasn’t like they had to win to make their dreams come true.
Of course, they would work hard toward that victory, but even if they lost, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
“If we were to lose here in the semifinals, what we’ve accomplished already has been more than enough.”
“We’ve broken the sales record for classical music in Tianchao, we hosted the most amazing classical concert… Aren’t those things getting us closer to our dreams?”
“Yeah,” Gan Yan Yu nodded, “It really is pretty close…”
Still, her expression was anything but relieved.
Lin Tian knew it would take time for her to adjust.
This was likely not a simple issue, but Gan Yan Yu needed to confront it.
Only when she truly stopped worrying about the competition’s outcome could they win it!
At that moment, Lin Tian stood up.
“Let’s go take a walk!”
“Go for a walk?” Gan Yan Yu exclaimed, shocked. “With my performance like that, shouldn’t I be practicing more?”
After crashing and burning like that? If it were up to Gan Yan Yu, she’d probably practice all night long.
But Lin Tian wanted to take her out for a stroll.
The competition was only a few days away, after all!
“You just said your problem isn’t about playing badly, it’s a mindset issue,” Lin Tian pointed out with a finger raised dramatically.
“Since it’s a mindset issue, then we have to go out and adjust our mindset!”
Taking a little break to relax might be just what Gan Yan Yu needed.
“Why don’t we try practicing again?” Gan Yan Yu said weakly, clearly reluctant.
“It’s fine, we’ll have plenty of time to practice when we get back tonight,” Lin Tian reassured her.
Gan Yan Yu opened her mouth to argue, but Lin Tian suddenly turned, sporting a mysterious grin.
“I saw a fantastic dessert shop in Bai Jing on Xiaohongshu!”
The shop was packed with vibrant, saturated colors, and the decor screamed cartoon style.
Lin Tian arrived at a cozy corner table holding two ice cream cones.
At that moment, Gan Yan Yu was already savoring a translucent pudding with a little spoon, delicately lifting it to her mouth.
“…”
Her face lit up with sheer joy, eyes twinkling like stars.
“So good!!”
Gan Yan Yu beamed sweetly, as if all her worries had just evaporated.
“I can’t believe Bai Jing has such delicious pudding. Turns out, nothing beats exploring shops in person!”
“Exploring shops in person?” Lin Tian sat down, raising an eyebrow.
“Wait a minute, have you ordered takeout before?”
“Yeah,” Gan Yan Yu replied, “I ordered from a few dessert shops, but none of them were that great.”
As soon as she finished, she caught Lin Tian’s mildly disappointed stare.
Remembering how he had been nagging her about eating healthy and avoiding sweets for her respiratory issues, she quickly composed herself and said earnestly,
“After the competition, I need to treat myself with pudding! It’d be unfair otherwise!”
That statement left Lin Tian a bit speechless.
After all, he understood her well enough to know that she felt that way.
When she had that major victory in the preliminary rounds of the Dragon Zither Cup, if he didn’t let her indulge, she truly might’ve felt like she had “won the competition for nothing.”
“So how many places did you try on ‘let’s see’?” Lin Tian asked.
“Not too many, you could count them on your fingers,” she replied.
“Is it one hand’s worth or two?” Lin Tian probed, smirking.
“Um…”
Gan Yan Yu’s gaze darted away.
“Don’t tell me you also counted with your toes?!” Lin Tian exclaimed dramatically.
“No way! Just two hands—two hands!” She panicked, pouting her lips and pretending to be naive.
“I just wanted to see how Bai Jing’s pudding compared to Qingzhou’s. But I ordered one, thought it didn’t taste right, and switched to another, and it just went on from there.”
“So how many Bai Jing puddings did you try?”
“Eight.”
Gan Yan Yu proudly lifted her chin. A true pudding connoisseur should have that spirit of exploration.
“Are you trying to get into grad school or something?!” Lin Tian facepalmed, ruffling her hair.
“Just eat a little less, okay? It’s really not good for your health!”
“I know, I know…” Gan Yan Yu meekly replied while cradling her head.
Lin Tian withdrew his hand and chuckled, feeling slightly exasperated.
Sometimes, he really wondered what kind of relationship he had with Gan Yan Yu.
If they were labeled as a couple, that would be a stretch—they were still firmly within defined boundaries.
Moreover, with the Dragon Zither Cup approaching, their minds were filled with competition thoughts, leaving little room for anything else.
This aligned with their original intention—out of fear of affecting each other’s dreams, they had chosen not to discuss their relationship.
It turned out they succeeded remarkably well.
But to call them just mere partners? Not a chance.
At times, Lin Tian felt like he was more of a parent to Gan Yan Yu.
This girl always kept him on his toes.
But thankfully, she was also quite understanding and considerate, willing to help him when he needed it.
Yet there were moments when Gan Yan Yu would transform into someone else entirely.
In certain situations, she’d become especially proactive, like a mischievous little sprite.
It was during those times that she left Lin Tian utterly baffled. She’d do things that made him want to read into them, yet he couldn’t confirm anything—was it just his imagination running wild?
Often, he couldn’t tell which version of Gan Yan Yu was real: the angelic one who behaved like a little sister or the surprising bold one who threw him for a loop.
Nonetheless, their relationship appeared to have settled into a temporary dynamic.
And it was quite nice.
For Lin Tian, they both understood that the most crucial thing was their shared dream.
In the face of their dreams, everything else was secondary.
Because of this, they could work together seamlessly, forging ahead toward the competition.
“…”
After finishing her fourth pudding, Gan Yan Yu set down her spoon.
Then, her expression softened.
In that moment, Lin Tian also set aside his sundae to meet her gaze.
For the past while, neither of them had mentioned their performance; they were simply enjoying a rare moment of relaxation.
Now, he knew she was pondering something after finishing her dessert.
“Lin Tian, do you think sometimes I come off as hypocritical?”
“Uh?”
Lin Tian was completely caught off guard by Gan Yan Yu’s unexpected question. He thought she’d drag him back into discussing cello technique.
“Why do you say that?” he asked.
At this moment, Gan Yan Yu dropped her gaze, wearing a look of shame.
She whispered, “Actually, Lin Tian, I understood everything you said earlier in the apartment.”
“It’s precisely because I understood that it felt so awful.”
“Clearly, I’ve always said that as long as I can play my music, it’s fine. Even if we lose here, there are many other ways to realize our dreams.”
“Yet right now, in my gut, I feel like we *must* win. As if our dreams hinge entirely on the Cole Cup.”
Gan Yan Yu rested her head on the table, playing with an empty cup, her fingers turning it over and over.
“I talk about doing this and that for various reasons, but it seems my craving for victory is deeper than I realized.”
“On the way here, I kept trying to convince myself otherwise, but I failed.”
“…”
Lin Tian fell silent.
It wasn’t the first time he had noticed this about her.
He’d felt it during the Star Cup too.
The level of despondency Gan Yan Yu exhibited after losing that competition surpassed what he had imagined.
Though she later claimed her worries were from fearing Lin Tian could be overshadowed, he could still sense the intensity of her competitive spirit—which didn’t seem to align with her usual demeanor.
“Lin Tian, do you think it’s possible that my true dream is just the Cole Cup? That I simply want to win and achieve the highest honor in cello, while everything else isn’t that significant? I haven’t been as noble as I thought, and that’s why what you said felt irrelevant to me.”
Her eyes turned dim as she spoke softly, half to Lin Tian and half to herself.
Before she could finish,
Lin Tian swiftly raised a hand to cover her mouth.
She looked up, startled by the slightly irritated expression in his eyes.
“Don’t say that!” he insisted.
“…”
Gan Yan Yu froze, her eyes widening.
“Are you really doubting yourself just because of one failed performance of ‘Moonlight?!’”
“Nobody knows you better than I do! You’re not that kind of person!”
“Otherwise, how could I have sticked by your side all this time?!”
Lin Tian’s frustration bubbled up.
After dynamically declaring his support, he gazed deeply into her eyes.
“…”
If Gan Yan Yu truly believed she was a hypocrite, simply using the “I want to let more people hear my music” pretext to mask her desire for that lofty title of champion, then there was no way Lin Tian could’ve stayed by her side till now.
Because he didn’t join competitions just to “accompany Gan Yan Yu”—maybe he initially did, but that was long gone.
He was here because he had started to share a dream in classical music.
He wanted to present such beautiful works to the world too!
This dream was one he genuinely found joy in.
And all of this was influenced by none other than Gan Yan Yu herself.
Lin Tian had witnessed her passion, and he knew no one understood Gan Yan Yu’s heart better than him.
She truly loved classical music, adored its beauty, wanting to share it with everyone who appreciates music.
It was through countless collisions of free spirits that he became so deeply captivated.
Thus, when Gan Yan Yu voiced what she regarded as hypocritical thoughts, Lin Tian became genuinely angry.
“If you truly think that way, I’ll immediately pen a new piece right now. We’ll save “Moonlight” for later and skip it for the competition!”
“No!”
Gan Yan Yu grasped Lin Tian’s hand.
She bit her lip, torn between her feelings.
Finally, she slowly released his hand.
“That doesn’t explain why I feel this way.”
“Everything you said is true. We don’t have to achieve that championship dream to accomplish something, but I just can’t convince myself otherwise.”
Gan Yan Yu covered her face, utterly perplexed.
Why was it that this deep-seated desire to win simply refused to vanish?
Could it be she had been merely going through the motions all along?
“…”
“There’s no contradiction.”
At that moment, Lin Tian’s words made Gan Yan Yu lift her head.
“I believe the two are not mutually exclusive,” he asserted firmly.
“Whether it’s spreading classical music or winning the Cole Cup, both are our dreams!”
“Winning the Cole Cup too…?”
Gan Yan Yu had never heard Lin Tian phrase it this way before and felt a hint of disorientation.
“Isn’t that merely a way to realize our dream?”
“Hell, can’t it be part of the dream too?!”
“Part of the dream?” Gan Yan Yu remained skeptical.
“What’s wrong with that?”
Lin Tian protested, a bit exasperated.
“For a professional player, their dream is to win the world championship—how is that embarrassing?!”
Dreaming isn’t solely about spreading classical music—there’s plenty of value in the ambition of achieving a world championship too!
As a professional cellist, aspiring to earn the prestigious title of world’s best cellist is anything but disgraceful!
Both dreams coincide, being what Gan Yan Yu sincerely wishes to achieve.
Lin Tian finally understood.
He had pinpointed the real reason that was preventing Gan Yan Yu from expressing “Moonlight” the way she wanted.
It wasn’t because she was too nervous or pressured.
It wasn’t merely about calming her mind or viewing the competition with indifference.
While those might be part of the method, they weren’t the solution!
She didn’t need to convince herself to take winning lightly.
What truly required her acceptance was the guilt stemming from her desire for victory.
Wanting to win, not wanting to lose—what’s shameful about that?
With that realization, Lin Tian felt a sense of humor wash over him.
Damn it!
Our little Gan is an absolute virtuoso, rocking that cello like a superstar, beating those thirty-something old geezers at just eighteen!
What’s wrong with wanting a championship?
Is that somehow shameful?
With the talent to back it up, let’s go for it!
We need to become the best cellist in the world!
And just moments ago, she was grappling with her inability to take the competition’s outcome lightly.
All of this was Lin Tian’s responsibility.
Gan Yan Yu couldn’t confront her inner self, hence, she needed Lin Tian’s help.
Come on!
Wanting to earn that title to prove she’s the best is super cool, isn’t it?!
Lin Tian should have realized this earlier.
Because, you see, “Moonlight” is precisely that kind of piece.
Real classical music is not some plush emotional masseuse; it’s a code that needs decoding.
Breaking free from the stereotype that “Moonlight” means “beautiful” or “healing” and restoring it to its essence as a metaphor for modern existential dilemmas.
It’s reminiscent of—
The spirit dancing behind a mask in Weirun’s poetry.
It reflects the rift between our external masks and our true selves.
Only when the performer is willing to peel off their hypocritical mask of defense and confront their inner emotions can they truly qualify and possess the ability to render “Moonlight” perfectly.
“…”
As Gan Yan Yu remained in quiet astonishment.
Lin Tian popped the remaining sundae into his mouth, nearly causing it to slip out with the frosty chill.
Clamping a hand over his mouth, he gulped it down and then stood up, grabbing Gan Yan Yu by the arm.
“Let’s get back!”
“Where to?”
“To practice!”
Lin Tian flashed a grin, “Let’s show those old geezers who’ve been gunning for us our unstoppable determination!”
Clear skies stretched above.
The sun shone bright, and a refreshing breeze enveloped them, creating the perfect atmosphere to go out.
Christine Nanaly slung her cello over her back as she stepped out of her apartment.
Just outside the hotel building, she found herself surrounded by a swarm of black-suited bodyguards.
All of them were lined up on either side of the hotel staircase, bowing deeply together.
“My Lady!”
Passersby on the street jumped back, startled by the scene and quickened their pace; some even thought they stumbled onto a film set and whipped out their phones to capture the moment.
Nanaly merely glanced over lightly, preparing to walk away.
However, accompanying the army of black-clad guards was a sleek black sedan.
The car was parked at the end of the stairs; though the windows were closed, she could vaguely see the silhouette of a blonde woman inside.
In the front passenger seat, a white-haired old man with glasses hopped out of the car and jogged over to Nanaly.
“Miss, please get in; we’ll personally take you to the venue,” he said respectfully.
“To make such a grand display to block me just to give me a ride?” Nanaly scoffed.
“Uh…”
The butler was caught off guard and quickly responded.
“Before the competition starts, the lady has something she wishes to discuss with you.”
“Not interested,” Nanaly said flatly.
“Whatever she has to say can wait until after the competition.”
“The venue is close; I’ll walk there myself.”
With that, Nanaly strode past, leaving the butler dumbfounded.
He never imagined the usually obedient young lady would show such boldness in this land of Tianchao.
He turned to gauge the lady’s reaction in the car.
At that moment, Nanaly had also arrived at the black sedan.
The young girl took a cursory glance through the hazy window.
Then she pivoted, striding away in another direction.
Swiftly, the butler rushed to the car’s rear window.
He squatted down, looked up, and as the window slowly slid open, he started, “Miss, she…”
“Let her go,” the woman interrupted, her face taut, echoing a cold laugh that bore a striking resemblance to Nanaly.
“I’d like to know who gave her such courage.”
“Regardless, after today’s competition, her journey in Tianchao should also come to an end.”
(End of Chapter)
