Chapter 81: Heart-to-Heart
Ever since that night at the Abandoned Tower, I had hardly seen Carlos. He seemed busier than ever, only stopping by Shanter Castle once in the last dozen days.
That time, he was still conspiring with the Duke in the study about something. I had a hunch it involved the Gate of Truth and the royal family of the Frozen Moon.
But this time, instead of leaving right after, he came straight to find me in my room where I was immersed in my book.
“Yo, Little Shay.”
He greeted me casually. I shot him a glance, then stretched out my hand.
Pat!
In perfect sync, a dessert wrapped in brown paper appeared in my hand.
I squinted my eyes in satisfaction, thinking it was good to keep him in line.
“What’s up?”
“Your business.”
Carlos unapologetically plopped down on my big bed, prompting me to glare at him.
“Get up! You’re covered in dust!”
I reached out to pull him up, but the guy was as stubborn as a mule, refusing to budge.
“How’s living here?”
“Mind your own business! Get up!”
“Seriously.” Carlos suddenly looked at me with a serious expression, shedding his lazy demeanor. The look actually startled me for a moment. “Remember that girl we talked about when you first arrived? Peilo? Turns out, you’re her!”
Mentioning this made me angry.
“How dare you say that!” I glared at him. “Back then, I asked you! You’re such good buddies with the Duke, and you don’t even know what his daughter’s name is?!”
Now it was Carlos’s turn to roll his eyes.
“Please, I hardly ever came to Shanter Castle! My relationship with the Duke is a brotherly bond; the guy guards me like I’m a thief! How would he let me meet his daughter?!”
I paused, taken aback.
Then I felt I seized on something important, my eyes turning into crescent moons as I grinned sneakily at him.
“Why does he guard against thieves? Because he’s guarding against you!”
Clearly caught off guard by my angle, Carlos stared at me, wide-eyed.
“Can we focus here? What are we even talking about?”
Trying to change the topic?
I immediately tugged at his face: “Spill it! What did you do before?!”
No matter how much I harassed him, he clammed up, which made me fume.
“Get out!”
“On what grounds?”
I angrily scrunched up my nose.
“This is my room!”
“Are you Peilo?”
“I am!”
“Are you really?”
“Yep, now get out!”
“On what basis do you think you are?”
“None of your business.”
“Let’s talk sensibly here.”
“I remember some things.”
“……”
Carlos fell into thought, his expression suddenly turning serious.
“…What’s up?”
“Ah, no.” He looked at me, serious as a judge. “Little Shay, have you ever thought, if you really are Peilo, then… what the heck is the Abyss?”
“……”
I had, of course, thought about this question.
At first, I believed Peilo fell off a cliff, perhaps right into the Abyss, thus getting sucked in or assimilated… it seemed highly probable. Even though I couldn’t quite understand the principle behind it, how the Abyss consumed people, and how I ended up in another country three years later.
So many things didn’t make sense, but that seemed to be the only explanation I had until that piano incident when I saw what happened after the fall.
I genuinely fell. On the brink of d*ath, all I saw was wind, snow, and endless darkness—no Abyss in sight.
I wasn’t swallowed by the Abyss at that moment; based on that night’s situation, there’s a good chance I was already dead once.
So how did I turn into the Abyss?
The only clue I had was the last glimmer of light I saw before losing consciousness, slowly emerging from the darkness.
I didn’t know what it was; my vision was quite blurry, almost foggy. I couldn’t tell if the light existed in reality or was just a fading reflection.
If my memory was vivid enough, then I must have fallen on the cliff that night, which is why I didn’t d*e immediately, but with cliffs both above and below, there was no way anyone could save me… unless they could fly.
Are there flying people in this world?
The Duke told me yes.
Those with maximum affinity to the Order of Wind can do so. But he also said such people are rare; from what he knew, only two exist: the Sword Saint and the Queen Elizabeth of Order Royal City—neither of whom were in the Valen Empire, making my chances of rescue practically zero.
So, I must have died once, or at least, the consciousness inside this body has experienced d*ath once.
For reasons unknown to me, I then became the Abyss three years later.
My memories during that time were empty, but I suspected it must be a complicated story.
I would find the truth, but for now, I still knew nothing.
“I don’t know.”
That was all I could tell Carlos.
“Can you at least share what you can remember?”
“Uh-huh.”
I trusted this man implicitly, so there was nothing I couldn’t say in front of him.
Well… I take that back. I’d never let anyone know about my bladder situation. That would be too embarrassing.
So I recounted every detail I could recall, and it took us about an hour, but Carlos listened patiently.
“So, you really are Peilo.”
“Yep.”
“No wonder Edward’s corpse ended up like that… Do you hate him?”
“Hate.”
Nothing to lie about there.
But suddenly, another thought crossed my mind.
“…That day, my state wasn’t right.”
Indeed, this was something I had been pondering lately.
That day, when I was tormenting Edward, it started as pure revenge for his heartless craving for power, leading to the extinguishment of a soul. That was it.
But later on… I found joy in hunting.
Or rather, the joy of having control over another’s life. Watching Edward scream in pain, his fear, tension, anxiety, and unwillingness all mixed together in his expression as he stared at me, waiting to see where my next blade would land. That feeling brought a deep sense of satisfaction—genuinely enjoyable.
To this day, that feeling makes my scalp tingle… Why did I think that way?
If Lafael hadn’t delivered those two fatal blows, who knows what I would have become!
That’s not me.
I know myself well; I’m not that kind of person, whether it’s the Peilo from memory or Chen Yuxuan, neither of us are like that.
I wanted to tell Carlos this, but when the words reached my lips, for some reason, it turned into: “No, it’s nothing. Just, not feeling well.”
Carlos ruffled my hair.
“Even if you hate someone to the bone, you still can’t k*ll them?” He chuckled, “You, as the Abyss, really have no intimidation factor, huh?”
I bumped my head against him in irritation.
“You’re the one with no intimidation factor.”
But it wasn’t a strong bump, and after doing it, I realized I probably just looked like I was being cute…
That definitely doesn’t fit with my tough guy persona.
My cheeks flushed slightly.
Carlos, however, only chuckled unconcerned.
“Nonetheless, I quite like this Abyss of yours.”
…Uh, I don’t need you to like me… just give me more desserts!
