Chapter Twelve: The Joy of the Body, The Rejection of the Heart
Grandma Claire shared the story of my morning encounter with the siblings.
“…So that’s how it is! From now on, Little Shay is part of our family. You both are older than her, so you better take care of her… Barry, did you hear that? You can’t bully her!”
“…I wouldn’t!” Barry shot me a glance, then, as if trying to cover something up, exclaimed loudly.
“Little Shay, are you a noble’s child?”
Aili’s eyes widened. The eighteen-year-old village girl was as pure-minded as they come. Without much education and no twisted thoughts, she just said whatever came to her mind.
“I… am not.”
“I don’t believe you! Just tell me!”
“Aili! Shut your mouth and eat your food.”
“What’s wrong, Grandma? Can’t I ask? …Why are there so many sweet potatoes! You promised to bring out the deer meat for dinner, and I can’t see any! Did you secretly give it all to Barry? Grandma, you’re so biased! I’ve been thinking about it for days!”
“The deer meat is for Little Shay. When Uncle Daul comes back from hunting tomorrow, I’ll get some from him.”
“…Sorry, I… am just too hungry…”
“Ah… No, Little Shay! I’m just afraid Barry would steal it! If it’s you, then it’s fine, because… you’re so cute, hee-hee.” Aili fluttered her eyelashes and completely ignored the mumbling Barry nearby, talking to me, “Little Shay, how about you come with me to the forest to gather herbs tomorrow?”
“…Gather herbs?”
“Yep, herb gathering! There are so many fun things in the forest! I’ll take you—”
“Aili, why are you so lively today? Little Shay shouldn’t go anywhere tomorrow, she needs to rest for a couple of days. Barry, you’re going with your sister.”
“…Fine.” Barry grumbled in response.
“Barry… what’s wrong with you today? You look moody.” Grandma Claire felt Barry’s forehead with some concern, “Are you feeling unwell?”
“No… I just think Aili is too childish and I don’t want to talk to her.”
“Barry! How dare you call me childish!”
“How can you not be childish? Yelling and screaming, that’s not how an older sister should act.”
“You… see if I don’t rip your mouth apart!”
“You two! Be careful not to knock over the dishes! Eating like this—what do you think it is?”
“Giggle.”
“Look, Little Shay is laughing at you both.”
…………
That night, I slept with Grandma Claire.
She talked a lot and told me she originally had a son, who was Aili and Barry’s father, a Church Knight of the Holy Church’s Seventh Knights Order. Her son had always been her pride, marrying the prettiest girl in the village, but a few years ago, he perished during a major anti-bandit operation organized by the church. The siblings’ mother had died from severe bl**d loss right after giving birth to Barry, leaving only Grandma Claire and these two siblings to rely on each other.
When her son passed away, Barry and Aili were still just snotty little kids. Grandma had worked hard to raise them alone, facing many hardships. Thankfully, since her son died on duty, the church provided a decent compensation. The villagers were also very supportive, lending a helping hand whenever needed, and they managed to get by bit by bit. Now little Barry was already sixteen, nearly a young man, and had to help the family with many things.
Grandma said she was getting old and her body wasn’t as good as it used to be. She felt that once she saw Barry get married, she could finally close her eyes…
As Grandma rambled on about ordinary things, it turned into a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in a long time, and I gradually drifted off to sleep.
…………
The news of a child as beautiful as a goddess living in Claire’s house spread quickly through the village.
In this era, there’s a serious lack of entertainment. Such news is quite a big deal for the village. For the villagers, I was undoubtedly too eye-catching; I was recognized wherever I went.
“Ah, so this is the little girl from Claire’s house… tsk tsk, she’s really beautiful.”
People pointed at me like I was some kind of freak show.
As a result, Grandma’s house had an unusually high number of visitors lately. Some came just to catch a glimpse of me, and others were trying to dig into my background. Just the other day, someone brought their son specifically to meet me.
He was a skinny little brat with a goofy expression, staring at me and grinning like a fool, which made me feel a little uncomfortable.
Finally, Grandma got fed up and shooed the boy away.
What annoyed me the most was that whenever I went out alone lately, a bunch of little punks would follow me around, the oldest looking about eighteen and the youngest still half-n*ked. They didn’t do anything except trail behind me like I was the latest attraction at the zoo.
A few times I got so mad that I picked up stones from the roadside and chucked them at the little pests, making them scatter with laughter, but as soon as I turned around, there they were, right back at it.
Eventually, I got so fed up with it that I vented to Aili during a casual chat.
Aili struggled not to laugh when she heard. She told me the oldest boy was Ryan, the village’s little king, who was always loafing around with a group of little brats running around. He was probably just trying to get my attention. The more I was embarrassed and angry, the happier he was. She had been teased like that before too but didn’t think they meant any harm.
Seriously… how immature can you be? At this age, still using such tricks to get a girl’s attention? His game was way worse than the little neighbor boy who’s in kindergarten and already knows how to bribe girls with snacks!
So after that, when I saw those little brats, I ignored whatever they did or said entirely.
…………
Life seemed like it could go on like this forever.
One day, I woke up early, ready to head out to the forest to gather some herbs.
Every month, a merchant caravan came to the village to buy herbs or vegetables, which was one of the few sources of income for the village.
In this world, the currency was nothing special, with the usual ratio of copper coins, silver coins, and gold coins being 10,000:100:1. However, most people in the village only used copper coins or salt for transactions, and I hadn’t even seen a silver coin yet, much less a gold one.
I slung a small bamboo basket over my arm and set out with Aili in the direction of the forest.
The path to the forest was the same muddy road I took to the village. The forest was rich in resources, and the villagers would go there to hunt or collect herbs, though most stuck to the outskirts—few dared to venture deep in.
“Little Shay, let me tell you, there’s a Dragon God in this forest.”
“Dragon God?”
“Yeah! A huge white dragon! Isn’t that amazing? Dragons actually exist in this world!”
……Shouldn’t I be saying that? Are dragons in this magical world also considered legendary beings?
“Aili, have you seen it?”
“Never… I just heard from Allen. His father is the strongest hunter in the village and dares to go deep into the forest alone. He said he saw it once.”
Allen, whom Aili mentioned, was her boyfriend, a sturdy boy two years older than her, and they were about to get married.
“What’s the Dragon God like?”
“Hmm… not sure. It seems like her father only saw it from afar. They say it has giant horns and is covered in white fur, and can turn into a beam of light and fly into the sky…” Aili pondered, then seemed puzzled, “Little Shay, don’t dragons have scales?”
“I… don’t know about that.”
“Hmm… what would a white-furred dragon look like? I can’t even imagine. But it must look super strong and powerful!”
Yeah, although I can’t picture what your imagined Dragon God looks like, it probably deviates quite a bit from reality.
That dragon not only had white fur but also terrible breath.
……I wonder what Big White is doing now; I miss him a bit.
“Last year, a guy living on the west side of the village got lost in the forest. After taking a nap, he woke up and found himself back outside the forest. Isn’t that magical? It must be the Dragon God protecting us.”
“……”
Yeah, you’re probably not far off in your understanding.
“And there’s another strange thing. Before you came to the village, a bunch of clerics and knights from the church showed up. They said there were terrible monsters appearing on the other side of the forest and took us to the neighboring town for safety. We returned just a couple of days before you arrived,” Aili said, her eyes lighting up with excitement, “The Church Knights were all tall and powerful, and they were so handsome! My dad was a Church Knight!”
Do you only know how to praise people by saying they’re tall and powerful?
“Grandma told you, right? My dad was killed by robbers… but the clerics said before he died, he took out over a dozen bad guys alone!”
“Don’t you feel sad?”
“Why should I be sad? My dad was a Church Knight who died a hero protecting the people!” The girl’s words were filled with pride, “But… sometimes I still dream about him petting my head, hee-hee.”
“……”
A hero who protects the people, huh?
Such an impressive person.
…………
When I reached the entrance to the forest, Aili and I prepared to part ways so we could gather more herbs, allowing us to sell more copper coins when the merchants arrived in a few days.
“Make sure not to wander too far,” Aili reminded me before leaving, and I nodded in response.
Actually, Aili had taken me here many times before, and I knew the route by heart, so I could never get lost.
But she always seemed a little worried and kept reminding me.
What we were collecting was a type of herb called Gentian root, which was a great medicinal herb for healing.
Finding things was easy for me, with my unusually sensitive perception; within an hour, I had a whole bamboo basket full.
But the main reason I came here was to deal with another issue.
My hunger.
I discovered not long ago while training my Abyssal Power, aka Black Smoke, in the forest, that the reason I always felt unsatisfied wasn’t because I wasn’t eating enough, but because the Abyssal Power within me desperately needed to absorb energy.
It needed to consume living creatures to maintain its vigor and avoid “dying.”
So every few days, when that strange hunger came over me, I would come to the forest.
Rustle… rustle…
Not far away, an animal that looked somewhat like a rabbit, but with four ears, came into view. I fixated my gaze, and a fist-sized black smoke ball shot out, sucking in the blue-white light.
My whole body tingled, and I unconsciously squeezed my legs together, feeling that hunger slowly fade a little.
Yes, just like that, absorbing energy for the Abyssal Power.
I had never tried to find out what would happen if I starved to the limit, nor had I ever thought of attempting it; something very bad would definitely occur.
So, sorry little rabbit.
This feeling of seemingly devouring the very soul of the other always unsettles me. In these moments, I face the undeniable truth from the depths of my heart: I am a monster.
The joy of my body, the rejection of my heart.
