Chapter 153: Doubts
With one hand clutching the hem of Victoria’s skirt and the other gripping the railing, I wobbled to my feet and took a deep breath, gazing up at her eagerly as I blurted out, “Teresa, I saw… Abe give me, the small bag, stuffed… um!”
Ouch! I bit my tongue! How much does that hurt…
I quickly covered my mouth with my hand. I was just so eager to speak that I bit down a bit too hard, and now my tears are about to flow. But this isn’t the time for pity parties! I swirled my tongue around my mouth, feeling the sting lessen, then quickly opened my mouth again, “Teresa… maybe has ties with the heretics…”
Saying that sentence made a jumble of feelings rise in me.
I didn’t want to admit it, still clinging to hope deep down. Maybe someone wants us to believe this for their own goals… Perhaps there’s a chance that everything could turn out to be a misunderstanding. That’s the most likely possibility. But regardless, we should start investigating from here.
I needed to figure out the relationship between Cataloma and the heretics; I had to ensure Aili’s safety.
That sensible, adorable little girl who dreams of becoming a saint, so that all the children can have enough to eat, always reminds me of that chattering, thin but lively older sister, Ailiya, back in the little village in Silgaya.
They are so alike. So… I want to protect her.
With that thought, I gazed more anxiously at the beautiful face before me, which was only inches away.
Victoria remained calm and collected, her cool face unreadable. She looked at me with indifferent eyes, and after a moment said, “I know, go rest.”
Her tone was a bit dismissive; I felt she wasn’t taking me seriously, making me even more eager to explain, “I mean, Theresa—”
Suddenly, my eyes went wide.
“You said you know…”
What does Victoria mean? Has she had her eyes on Teresa all along?!
I suddenly recalled that yesterday, on the rooftop, the vice captain of the Sword of Kanli, Tanis, mentioned that Her Majesty the Queen had suspects. Is this suspect… referring to Teresa?
I looked at her, my gaze full of uncertainty, and saw Victoria respond with a nonchalant “Mm.”
“Uh… you’ve suspected her for a long time…”
“I told you not to act recklessly,” Victoria replied while helping me up the stairs. “Teresa is a public figure with powerful influence among the people. A few years back, she was regarded as ‘the most qualified to be a saint,’ and at that time, the current Saint Margaret was still quite young, not even getting half the votes Teresa did. Although she later voluntarily gave up her qualifications, her popularity among the people has only grown.”
“We need to handle someone like that with caution. Until decisive evidence is found, we cannot act recklessly or speak carelessly, got it?”
I listened to Victoria’s words seriously, bowing my head in silence for a moment.
“You already… determined she is…”
“I’m not sure,” Victoria replied. “Before anything is finalized, any speculation isn’t absolute. The Gate of Truth’s connections in the Royal City are intricate, and there are more than one or two people involved. If you want to catch all these mice, you have to stay calm, understand?”
…How could I not understand?
“Well, can we, the orphanage’s, children…” I tilted my head and thought aloud, “Can we protect them first…”
Victoria gave me a fleeting glance.
With just that look, I understood her meaning.
It’s impossible to take such action because that would be like openly telling them: I’m coming to catch you, so you better hide!
I suddenly felt a bit lost.
The information at hand was too limited, not to mention I had no reliable companions. I was all alone in a strange city, still sick… I had all this power, yet I felt restrained… It was indeed frustrating.
I wondered how Abe was doing. He might already be in danger… If only Carlos were here, he’d know exactly what to do… If only he were here…
After Victoria helped me onto the bed and tucked the blanket around me, a wave of drowsiness washed over me.
“What should I do…”
I muttered to myself, almost like I was asking this question to myself.
Victoria’s face blurred in my vision.
“Just wait,” she said to me. “The matter with the children is being pursued by the Sword of Kanli. You don’t need to worry, just focus on getting better. Your participation in the following actions is crucial, if…”
Victoria paused, then gently shook her head.
“Rest now.”
“…Mm.”
That works too.
At least in the investigation phase, the experienced Sword of Kanli is much more reliable than I am. Instead of worrying here, it’s better to focus on getting my health back…
Victoria soon left, and the room quieted again. I gazed at the exquisite chandelier hanging above, trying to calm my restless mind, but countless chaotic thoughts just wouldn’t go away. Before I knew it, I was back to thinking about Sister Teresa’s face — not conventionally pretty, but oh-so alluring.
Such a gentle person… It’s hard to believe she’s a heretic, one of those reckless crazies.
Deep down, I really relate to her.
Whether it’s the awards she’s received in the past or the things she said in the “Abyss Studies” class, they prove she’s not like those who just talk big; she’s someone who truly takes action, a righteous person. I can tell she has a strong belief of her own, just like Carlos, and their eyes shine with the same light — the kind of light I long for.
That kind of belief had once made me think it was the resolve to slay the Abyss. I thought she was like me, and I felt an irresistible urge to get close to her.
She voluntarily rejected becoming a saint… Teresa, what exactly is your belief?
…………
When I woke up, the sound of rain pattering outside was loud.
It was already past noon; the sky was gloomy, and a cool breeze wafted through the half-open window, feeling quite pleasant… Hey, I’m not cold anymore?
My mind was extraordinarily clear, and the lethargy I felt before had significantly subsided. My lower abdomen still ached faintly, but it was at a level I could ignore; it must be the medicine kicking in… or maybe not.
This illness was quite unusual. It shouldn’t be something that could be resolved with just one bowl of medicine… I felt that chaotic power within me becoming even more abundant. Even though I hadn’t eaten anything since morning, I didn’t feel hunger or have any appetite.
It seemed my body was undergoing some subtle change… or rather, it was in the process of changing.
This was just my feeling; I wasn’t certain. But my intuition told me that this illness was probably not a good omen.
Shaking my head to throw those messy thoughts aside, I couldn’t afford to linger in confusion. Now that my body has recovered… I need to find Victoria and discuss our next steps.
I quietly climbed out of bed, opened the door to my room, and rested my hands on the staircase railing, calling down to the empty living room below, “Victoria.”
“Victoria!”
After two calls, there was no response, and I didn’t hear anything; she was likely already gone. Thinking about it, Her Majesty the Queen wouldn’t be hanging around here for leisure.
I hurried down the stairs, running into the kitchen… I was determined to force myself to eat something.
The leftover honey pie was still there. I took it out to sniff… not spoiled, it’s edible. Taking one piece, I popped it in my mouth and grabbed the rest, planning to rush back to the living room to finish it off.
Just then, I heard voices arguing next door.
