**Chapter 18: I’m Actually Really Scared**
On a starry night in March, the two bright moons shone down from behind the clouds, casting their pure light everywhere.
The wind was warm and breezy.
After that night, Victoria never brought up the Empress again. Those fleeting moments of true emotion were all she needed; she didn’t require my comfort or anyone else’s.
Once night fell, we made our way to the second-floor terrace, where we sat sipping tea and moon-gazing. Later, the maids from House 2 brought us some dishes that looked exquisite but totally killed my appetite. I took a few bites before I started feeling like I was chewing on shoe leather.
Victoria barely touched her food either, but she did indulge in quite a bit of wine. After a few glasses, she became quieter, standing by the terrace railing with that adorable charm of hers, gazing silently at the moonlight. The breeze lifted her skirt, causing it to dance around her calves, somewhat reminiscent of that butterfly flapping its wings earlier.
I hoped her life could be like that too—if only she could flap her wings and fly freely where she desired.
“Your scythe is with me; come collect it tomorrow morning.”
Just as I was lost in thought, she suddenly blurted that out.
“Uh… okay.”
I nodded, feeling a bit like a deer caught in headlights.
A little while later, Victoria spoke again.
“What’s up with your body refinement powers?”
“Uh… what?”
The aroma of the wine from her breath hit me as I snapped back to reality, only to find her standing right in front of me, those bright golden eyes staring intently.
“That night, before I passed out, I saw a person flying in the sky, engulfed in black fire. It was just for a moment, but I’m sure that was you.”
Buzz—
My mind went blank.
I opened my mouth but felt completely at a loss for words.
Victoria pulled out an empty chair next to me and sat down, continuing, “Outside the city, the woods were ablaze with infernal fire, and such flames wouldn’t extinguish easily. But I found something interesting in the report from the Sword of Kanli. That night, Rect and Lady Pasha saw a golden light shining outside the city. When they arrived, they found that not only were the woods untouched, but they seemed more vibrant than ever, with no signs of battle. The only ones present were me, unconscious, and you, along with the Saint who happened to arrive. I find this very peculiar.”
I swallowed nervously, avoiding her gaze.
“What’s peculiar about that…?”
I tried to maintain a neutral face, but my hands under the table trembled slightly.
“That golden light was a divine miracle cast by the Saint. According to the Sword of Kanli, the scale of that tremendous faith power shows she wasn’t trying to heal us or put out fires; that would’ve been overkill. I might not know divine miracles, but I’m pretty savvy.”
“From what I know, the power to revive vegetation is a top-tier natural miracle, not something to be used lightly. A large-scale use would consume an enormous amount of faith power; no one would do that casually. The Saint must have had her reasons for going that far.”
After saying that, Victoria fixed her gaze on me and lightly tapped the table.
“What’s she hiding? Peilo, can you enlighten me?”
Oh no, she’s onto something… what should I do…
“I, I—”
I couldn’t think of a good excuse and found myself speechless.
But Victoria was sharp; the more flustered I got, the more relentless she became.
“Peilo, would you lie to me?”
“I, I wouldn’t…”
I genuinely didn’t want to lie to her.
If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t be this nervous—I might’ve even spat out various excuses, or just brushed it off with a casual, “I don’t know, go ask Margaret.” But standing before me was Victoria, and she was too clever for that.
With my limited acting skills, I could probably fool some fools or my clueless mother, but I could never fool her.
If I lied now, Victoria probably wouldn’t call me out on it, but she might just stop trusting me—or worse, start to dislike me.
I didn’t want her to dislike me…
“Victoria…”
“Yes, I’m listening.”
“I, I don’t want to lie to you, but I, I don’t know… no, I’m scared, I…” I was rambling now, so flustered that I had no idea what I was trying to say, “What you saw, that shadow—I mean, it was me. But—”
“What was the black fire?”
“Umm…”
I slowly lowered my head, nearly burying it in the table. I was terrified to admit it, trembling all over.
“Victoria, please don’t hate me…”
“Why would I hate you?”
“Because…”
I could hear my own feeble voice quivering, probably imagining how weak I looked right now.
How annoying, why do I feel like crying so much?
Deep breath, deep breath… Just muster the courage to tell her.
“Margaret is covering for me, because I’m… I’m a—”
“Stop right there.”
Smack.
Her delicate hand patted my head, and I looked up to see Victoria’s face so close, my eyes widening with surprise.
“I’m making this awkward for you, huh?”
Victoria said that with her gorgeous face lightly flushed, her eyes soft and gentle like water.
“Sorry, I won’t do it again.”
Her hand gently rubbed my head, messing up my hair, the ends brushing against my eyes.
I caught a whiff of her lovely fragrance, and before I knew it, I wrapped my arms around her waist, leaning in to bury my face against her abdomen, rubbing against it.
“Victoria…”
I sniffled, and all my emotions exploded in that moment.
“I can’t say sorry, I’m too scared… what should I do…”
“I’m so afraid, always have been! I can’t control it, I can’t control it, I’m terrified…”
Victoria said nothing more, allowing me to lie there while she gently patted my back, again and again, for what felt like forever.
In the end, she didn’t ask any more questions, and I certainly didn’t dare to share anything else. All my courage had vanished with the half-word “monster” that slipped out.
But I thought, given Victoria’s intelligence, she might have already pieced things together.
Once she left, I locked myself in my bedroom, drew the curtains tightly, and under the radiant candlelight, I slowly made my way to the mirror.
The mirror reflected a delicate young woman. My pretty face still wore a hint of sadness, those black pearl-like eyes were slightly puffy and red, yet somehow even more adorable.
At this age, when one is supposed to grow quickly, my appearance and body looked nearly the same as when I first awakened to this world, revealing no signs of change.
“One two three, one two three four five six seven, seven…”
“Peilo, it’s Silvya and Chen Yuxuan.”
“Peilo is a tough girl; she’s the strongest.”
If anything had changed, it was that I could speak a bit more fluently than before.
This change started when I woke up this morning. Now I could string together more words, even if I still stuttered here and there. Deep inside, I felt a dawning realization: that barrier separating me from “something” had cracked open just a little.
Even if it was just a tiny, insignificant crack.
I knew this was because I had absorbed the Teresa Monster’s essence. I also knew that going forward, I would crave “food” even more.
That night, I couldn’t sleep.
