### 199. The Argument
The girl felt a bit anxious as she timidly placed two bottles of beer on the coffee table, glancing up at her expressionless father.
He didn’t seem to notice her at all.
Feeling slightly relieved, she was about to sneak off into the house when her father suddenly asked, “Did you have dinner?”
She jumped like a startled rabbit and quickly replied, “Yes, I did.”
Her father turned to Lin Nan, scrutinizing his unfamiliar daughter from top to bottom. His brow furrowed, and a look of disgust emerged on his face.
That expression hit Lin Nan like a gut punch, leaving her momentarily breathless.
His gaze lingered on Lin Nan’s heaving chest. “What’s with you, a perfectly good boy… Get your hair cut tomorrow. No need to embarrass yourself looking like this half-baked mess.”
For the first time, Lin Nan felt no shame at being looked at this way, just a mix of frustration and guilt. What father would want to see his son, whom he raised for eighteen years, turned into this?
Her hands fidgeted awkwardly as words eluded her, and her nose tinged with a hint of sorrow.
Lowering his head, her father began to drink, waving a hand dismissively as he said, “Go find your mom at your grandfather’s tomorrow.”
Clearly, Lin Nan had been rejected.
But bizarrely, she felt a wave of relief. Even though her grandparents’ attitude towards her was still an unknown, at least her mother would be there to protect her. Mom wouldn’t hate her… right?
Turning back into the house, Lin Nan locked the door behind her, then slumped helplessly against it.
She couldn’t summon much resentment toward her father; she only felt a heavy sense of disappointment that he couldn’t accept or understand her.
“I didn’t want to become like this either. I hate how I look as a girl.”
Transforming into a female coincided with the crucial period before finals, so Lin Nan had tried her best to bury any anxiety about becoming a girl. But now, it erupted uncontrollably like a volcanic explosion, enveloping her in unprecedented sadness.
She slid helplessly to the floor, grief-stricken yet unable to cry, staring blankly at the bedroom curtains, lost in a silence that lasted forever.
The cold seemed to spread from her heart outward, covering her entire body, as if she were about to freeze solid.
She despised everything about herself, hated her increasingly prominent chest, her delicate white skin, her refined features, and most of all, her ever-evading mindset.
If only she could flatten her br*asts, ruin her soft skin to its former roughness, and chop her hair into a buzz cut or even shave it all off.
But no matter how much she tried to change, she was fundamentally a girl now.
If it were possible, she’d rather face the pressure of finals every second of every day. At least that kept her busy, her head wouldn’t spiral into chaos, and she could indefinitely avoid all her troubles.
She had always cared too much about how others viewed her; as a boy, she wanted to be as masculine as possible, and as a girl, she aimed to be a competent one—at least someone who wouldn’t attract attention on the street and could blend into society.
But that idea seemed to have flopped spectacularly. No matter how hard she resisted, she couldn’t outfight the magic that reshaped her body.
“If only I could take some testosterone and get surgery to turn back into a guy…”
A strange thought suddenly popped into Lin Nan’s mind, but then she realized that a man created that way would only appear male but couldn’t father children.
“Guess I’ll just go with the flow…”
She felt like a withered leaf, trembling on a branch, enduring the icy winds, uncertain of when she might be blown off to an unknown place.
Her mood plummeted, and her thoughts spiraled toward the bleakest of outcomes.
Mom had divorced, taken the house, left this home… Why was I completely in the dark? Does she hate me too? Or does she simply not care?
Curled up at the door, Lin Nan leaned against the door panel, staring blankly into space.
In the end, did anyone really care about her?
Her father viewed her as an embarrassing eyesore, her mother had mysteriously gone silent, and her old-fashioned grandparents living in the countryside would never accept her. If her roommates found out about her situation, they would probably give her that same disgusted look.
Chen Yao…
He was probably just interested in my body, right?
Lin Nan had been a boy before, and especially now that she was a girl, her way of thinking had changed slightly; she could feel Chen Yao’s eager gaze at times.
She sighed softly, turning to look at the cola sitting on the bed, watching her with curious eyes.
Even though cola was smart, it wasn’t quite at the comforting level.
Lin Nan pouted, burying her head in her arms, her body trembling slightly.
Why did things turn out this way? Why did I become a woman?
Suddenly, there was a knock at the front door.
Lost in sadness, Lin Nan remained motionless, curling up as the sensitive, tense part of her seemed to go numb.
She heard her father getting up in the living room, and a moment later, the iron door creaked open, followed by her father’s booming voice.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Lin Nan’s friend, here to take her out.”
That familiar voice reached her ears. Lin Nan didn’t react; she silently got up and dragged her weary body back to her bed.
“Come on in.”
A flurry of sounds filled the living room, as Chen Yao seemed to be engaging her father in friendly conversation. From the tone they spoke in, it sounded like they were getting along quite well.
After a moment, there was a knock on her bedroom door, followed by the doorknob being twisted. But it was still blocked by the lock, preventing the intruder from entering.
“Lin Nan, want to go out and play?”
“I’m sleeping, not going.”
“I’ll treat you to barbecue!”
“Not going.”
“Get out already! What are you doing holed up in there? Planning to be a good little wife and mother?”
Her father’s sudden voice startled her, causing her to flinch. She got up slowly like a patient recovering from a severe illness, moving in slow motion to throw on her jacket.
Maybe her father’s terrible tone had pushed Chen Yao to argue with him outside the door.
The noises blurred in Lin Nan’s mind, all she could make out were the sounds of a scuffle and some cursing.
Lin Nan couldn’t understand what was so worth arguing about. Sure, her father had a bad attitude, but this was her family business.
She pushed open the bedroom door and looked up to see Chen Yao, teeth clenched, wielding an empty beer bottle, his eyes bloodshot, with veins popping on his neck and arms, and his body trembling slightly.
Her father had been shoved against the wall, sitting there like a madman pointing at his own head, shouting, “Smash it! Just smash it! d*mn it!”
The scene was pure chaos; in just a few minutes, the living room had turned into a wreck with broken glass everywhere.
“Let’s go! I’ve had it with this day!” Upon seeing Lin Nan, Chen Yao abandoned the argument, grabbing her wrist and dragging her toward the door. “What kind of person even behaves like this? d*mn!”
“Wait, what?”
Lin Nan was still a bit dazed, and before she could say anything, she was yanked straight out of her house.
