Chapter 384: Guan Qiuling’s Thoughts
Since I had temporarily decided to study that composite rune, I naturally wouldn’t waste any more time at the Witch Cat Café.
Although I called it research, it was merely a process of slowly figuring things out on my own. Otherwise, if I ran into Teacher Ji at the original laboratory, I had no idea what she would say to me.
Just as I teleported back to the villa entrance with a snap of my fingers, I suddenly saw an unfamiliar figure.
However, just by glancing at the words “express” and “club” on her uniform, I quickly realized this must be the delivery club at the academy.
“Hmm-hmm-hmm~”
At this moment, the senior was humming a lively tune, preparing to stuff a package into the delivery box at the villa entrance.
At that moment, her keen sixth sense caused her to shiver slightly, and then she instinctively turned her head to see me standing behind her.
“Oh… You scared me to d*ath… Hoo~ Hoo~”
My sudden appearance startled her, as she had just scanned this area moments ago and saw no one. Suddenly, someone appeared silently behind her, nearly making her curse.
However, after regaining her composure, she maintained her professionalism and cautiously asked me, “Um, are you a resident of this dorm?”
“Yes, I am,” I nodded and replied.
“Okay, may I ask if Miss Yang Yuelan also lives here? Please let her know that her package has arrived.”
“No need, I am Yang Yuelan,” I said, somewhat surprised.
I thought the package delivered here belonged to someone else in the dorm; I had no recollection of ordering anything online.
“Really? That’s great! Why don’t we just do the sign-off face-to-face? It will save me a lot of trouble!” The delivery girl quickly handed over the package, saying, “Please verify the information.”
“Yes, the information is correct.” I took a look and confirmed that there were no issues. I quickly signed for it.
After sending off the coincidental delivery girl, I went to the trash can to tear open the packaging and disposed of the packaging waste.
Suddenly, a well-bound, high-quality “notebook” appeared in front of me.
“Hmm… Graduation Album Collection · Bai Yu… Oh!” I pondered over the note and instantly realized what this was upon seeing Sister Bai’s name!
This was the album Sister Bai had promised to give me! There were only two albums: one for me and one for Sister Bai!
However, as I recalled the scenes of shooting the album with Sister Bai, my face turned hot… Such things!
Absolutely should not be opened in public!
I instinctively glanced around to confirm that no one was watching, then hurriedly took the album back into the villa.
“Eh? Sister Xiao Han? Why are you back so early?”
As soon as I stepped through the door, a sudden voice made me freeze in my tracks.
“Uh… Guan Qiuling? What are you doing in the living room this afternoon?” I awkwardly turned my head to look at Guan Qiuling, who was lazily lying on the sofa.
I must say, at this moment, Guan Qiuling, wearing loose loungewear, seemed rather disheveled, her long hair cascading behind her, her snowy white thighs exposed, and her petite feet resting on the sofa cushion… She looked like someone waiting for others to pamper her, resembling a delicate individual.
“I’m bored… I almost fell asleep during my nap…”
“You napped here?”
“Yeah, I was about to watch TV, but I couldn’t find a show I liked.”
“Okay… I have to say, Guan Qiuling, you’re really becoming… how should I put it?” A lolita vibe? Would that description be too blunt?
“It’s fine, Sister Xiao Han, just say it. I know what my reputation in the dormitory is like…”
“But those seniors are really enthusiastic… The old me would never have been surrounded by so many pretty sisters. This is the result I’ve chosen for myself…”
“Uh… okay, just take care of yourself.” I felt awkward, not knowing what else to say. I didn’t expect Guan Qiuling to open up about such things with me, “Actually, I used to be the same… Just remember, don’t get too immersed in it, Guan Qiuling. No one will wait forever for others’ pampering. The moment you lose your perceived value in others’ eyes, you will fall hard.”
“I know… I understand what those seniors want from me, but… at least I can’t leave them now…”
At this moment, I quietly stashed the album into my storage four-leaf clover. I felt the discussion with Guan Qiuling was edging dangerously close to sensitive territory.
This reminded me of the time I took Guan Qiuling from that senior, and just a few days later, she sought out the other party on her own.
That incident had shocked me greatly, leaving a significant impact on my young mind.
“Okay, so you’re planning to entrust your life to them?” I sighed and thought for a moment, deciding to chat with Guan Qiuling after all. Such an opportunity was rare, and since she was my roommate, it would be… fun to gossip a bit and learn about her situation.
I hadn’t sought entertainment in a long time.
Of course, the main reason was that I had nothing to do. As for researching that rune ceremony?
There was no rush; an afternoon wasn’t enough to produce anything useful. My plan to go back and study the rune was simply a reluctant choice out of boredom.
But now, I had something to focus on.
“I want to, but they don’t accept…”
“Huh?”
“They say I’m the most perfect boy they’ve transformed… I’m trying very hard…”
“…” At this moment, I didn’t even know what to say. What was this? A weak, inherent saint body? Stockholm syndrome? Or something else?
“Well… I mean, are you trying hard for them or for yourself?” After a long pause, I finally managed to ask my doubts.
“I… I’m not sure.”
“Not being sure is precisely right.”
“Huh?”
“When your first thought isn’t about working hard for others, then you’re working hard for yourself.”
I cleared my throat, and at this moment, the life mentor, Sister Xiao Han, was ready to step in!
“I’m… working hard for myself? But…”
“Don’t you believe it?”
“Yeah.” Guan Qiuling gently nodded her head, not even believing it herself.
“Then imagine a scenario where those seniors no longer love you in the way you like. Would you still like them?”
“I… I would change myself…”
“Uh…” I was momentarily choked by Guan Qiuling’s words. “Okay, it seems you’re quite determined. Let’s start from the initial point: You want to please them, right?”
“Yes… maybe?” At this moment, Guan Qiuling also sounded uncertain.
“But that’s just you wanting a source of emotional comfort, right?” From the words Guan Qiuling had just subconsciously expressed, she used to be surrounded by less beautiful seniors, but now those seniors were willing to “accompany” her—wasn’t this a form of compensatory psychology for what she couldn’t experience before?
“It seems… yes…”
“You told me that before you never experienced this feeling. The happiness you feel now is all something you’ve added filters to for yourself, a sort of retaliatory compensation for the past. Does that description resonate with you?”
I started with a firm tone, stating it as if it were fact, using a strong indoctrination approach. This tactic works well on shy, timid individuals, as it takes advantage of the primacy effect.
It’s like telling someone feeling down about their life, “What you’re experiencing are symptoms of depression,” and most people would think, “Oh my God! That’s totally me!” as if they were awakening to a realization.
As long as Guan Qiuling hadn’t undergone too much exposure to toxic positivity, she was likely to think I was spot on, especially with my last gentle rhetorical question, which contrasted with the previously firm guidance, leaving her feeling lost as people often tend to selectively affirm what they resonate with.
“Retaliatory… compensation… seems that way indeed.” At this moment, Guan Qiuling went from lazily reclining to sitting up against the corner of the sofa, resembling… no, she really was a vulnerable individual lacking a sense of security.
Seeing this scene, I couldn’t help but praise the senior’s methods.
I recalled… that the senior had given me a business card? I just didn’t know where I put it.
“You work so hard, and cooperate so well, all just to fill your own needs, but… have you thought about the future?”
“The future… let’s talk about that later…” Guan Qiuling replied.
“Isn’t now the future? Those seniors are clearly experienced; they can have many new students and younger sisters, but you have no choice. Things that come too easily are often taken for granted. Do you want to wait until the other party loses interest in you before they remember you?”
“What… what should I do? What about my future…” At this moment, Guan Qiuling seemed to be getting anxious.
Sure enough, bringing someone who had been immersed in gentle nostalgia face to face with a grim future can make them anxious and restless.
“Have you ever heard a saying?”
“What saying?”
“Life is like **; if you can’t fight back, then enjoy it well. Weak individuals can be manipulated by life in how they bear it, while strong individuals can choose how life manipulates them to enjoy it.”
“Wh… what does that mean?”
“It means that as long as you are stronger, you can choose the way of life you want. Don’t be constrained by the word ‘strong’; it doesn’t stop you from enjoying life like you do now, as long as you don’t lose your original intention.”
“Sister Xiao Han… Are you telling me to… become stronger?”
“The concept of ‘becoming strong’ is too vague; it’s about cultivating inner strength. Being strong might just mean being powerful, and that’s meaningless. Real strength comes from the confidence that powerful abilities give you, and that’s what you should pursue.” I said, but before Guan Qiuling could say anything, I continued, my tone slightly persuasive.
“Imagine this scene: you currently possess ten thousand magic sources, along with many high-consumption spellbooks, even excessive consumption spellbooks, and then those seniors invite you to play.”
I could see the changes in Guan Qiuling’s expression; she had obviously entered a moment of fantasy. So, I kept at it, “But once you get there, you realize the seniors have invited other younger sisters too. They bind you there, motionless, performing the same things to the younger sisters that they once did to you, and you can only watch helplessly as they enjoy your embarrassment. How would you feel inside?”
“I… I…” At this moment, Guan Qiuling was at a loss due to my sudden twist, growing visibly anxious.
Clearly, this was all hypothetical, yet she took it seriously. How strange! It appeared that she had anticipated such a possibility, but instinctively resisted the notion and hadn’t thought about it, only now being forced to confront it because of my probing.
At that moment, I really wanted to tell Guan Qiuling, “That’s great, keep it up,” but I held back.
“That would be very despairing, right? At that time… they’d say they are tired of you, and with your meek demeanor without any sense of conquest, what would you do?”
“I… I don’t know… Sister Xiao Han, what should I do?”
“Do you remember our earlier hypothesis?” I placed my hand on Guan Qiuling’s shoulder, smiling to soothe her emotions, “You now possess ten thousand magic sources. You might not realize yet, but this is the limit you can hold before ascending to an extraordinary witch. You have the power to surpass almost all students at the Witch Academy, and with so many spellbooks, you hold the means to overpower them. Would you take action against them? You could easily break the bonds they tie you with. At that moment… what would you do to them?”
“I… I couldn’t bring myself to do it…”
“Exactly! You won’t take action!” I confirmed her thoughts firmly, though I had slightly shifted the concept. “Because with strength, your mindset changes. Strength can achieve many things, but it doesn’t mean you have to act on everything. From that moment on, you become the sister they can’t have, and the unattainable always stirs restlessness. At that time, you’d be their irreplaceable light of the moon.”
Of course, if Guan Qiuling truly had that power, would she still care about those seniors?
The Witch Academy had many better seniors than those, but it was clear that in Guan Qiuling’s eyes, those seniors were all that mattered. It was like a farmer looking at an emperor wielding a golden hoe.
Without power, even Guan Qiuling’s fantasies were limited to this.
“But… but I don’t have that kind of power; they are all seniors… How could I possibly catch up to them…”
“Well, am I your senior? Do you think they could beat me?”
“…” Guan Qiuling stared at me blankly, as if just realizing something.
“No horse grows fat without night grass. Methodically studying at the Witch Academy is of no use; you’ll only become an ordinary student, without any distinguishing features. What will you have to present then? If you keep on this path, you’ll ultimately be discarded by others!”
“I… I don’t want to be discarded!”
“Yes, that’s right!”
“But… but I don’t know what to do…”
“It’s okay; don’t you still have me? How should I put it… I’m also your roommate.”
“Sister Xiao Han, are you willing to support me?” Guan Qiuling looked at me with a glimpse of hope.
“I only pull you up when you’re at a low point in life, but I won’t directly support you. I won’t save those who willingly fall into decline; as long as you have the thought of wanting to become stronger, I will help you change bit by bit.”
“But… but I don’t know what to do… What we’re taught in class doesn’t teach us how to become strong…”
“Becoming strong is a vague concept. Your goal is to strengthen your inner self. There are many ways to do this; it just depends on whether you’re willing.”
“I… might be willing…”
“Alright…” Listening to Guan Qiuling’s not very confident answer, I realized that this conversation could hardly change her nature in one go.
So, I got up from the sofa and looked down at Guan Qiuling, who was curled up on the sofa. “In the Witch Academy, studying methodically is of no use. Since the start of the semester, I have been exposed to many avenues: magic, runes, alchemy, potions, planting, body techniques…”
“The Witch Academy offers many pathways to becoming stronger, but these won’t show up in your classes. The academy’s purpose is to help you advance to extraordinary witches, and the first three years’ courses are meant to help you understand the basics of the extraordinary and recognize the path you want to take. They won’t teach you how to become strong; to become strong, you must rely on yourself. Remember, as long as there’s no prohibition on things, then you can do them. Class doesn’t teach you to become strong, but it doesn’t prohibit you from becoming strong either. The weak can only fight to survive in the extraordinary world, ultimately losing their value and ending up in the trash heap. Do you understand?”
“…” At this moment, Guan Qiuling seemed to be struggling a bit, pondering over my words.
“Believe in yourself. You got into the Witch Academy, which means you have at least been recognized for your talent.”
“But… I was abducted… originally… I was planning to go to Aphhemia Academy…”
“Aphhemia is a top-notch academy; this only underscores your talent, doesn’t it? Nothing is more regrettable than wasting your own potential.”
“Then… what should I do?”
I looked at Guan Qiuling’s indecisive question, feeling a bit of an inner sigh. Was it easy being her roommate?
“This matter can’t be rushed. We can analyze it slowly; perhaps what you need right now isn’t necessarily to become stronger, but to give yourself added value.”
But as long as Guan Qiuling is willing to step out and wants to become strong, it means she still has hope. If I had to blame someone, it would only be that those seniors really know how to play with younger boys, completely manipulating Guan Qiuling.
I wonder what kinds of sparks would fly if those senior players met someone like me who seeks fun?
After all… if I play coldly, even if I’m less skilled, the only one who will suffer is Guan Qiuling.
But I believe that with strength and a solid inner self, while it may not solve all problems, it can resolve most.
I really did point Guan Qiuling toward a bright path; it just depended on whether she could seize the opportunity.
And besides… being powerful, isn’t the question of whether to be the attacker or the receiver merely a matter of intention?
As the saying goes, the weak can only be manipulated by the seniors into various forms, but if they grow strong, they can choose how they wish to be positioned by the seniors. Guan Qiuling’s little thoughts were not far from this.
She just hasn’t seen through it yet.
