Chapter 776: Chasing Things That Others Do Not Yearn For…
“Hey? Are you the senior who guided my enrollment on the first day of school? Hello, senior! Is this your real body this time?”
“Yes～”
“Ah, ah～! Senior, are you here to watch our new student competition too?” the young girl asked excitedly.
“Yeah, after all, around this time last year, I also represented my class in the new student competition, so I returned to relive the memories.”
“You participated in this competition? I heard that in previous years, only class leaders could participate in this competition!”
“Yeah, but it changed this year. Have you competed yet?”
“Not yet, there are quite a few people in my class, and I’m in the later rounds.”
“Well, good luck～”
“I received your encouragement, senior! I’ll definitely dominate when I go on stage!”
After saying goodbye to this enthusiastic junior, I watched as she returned to her class’s viewing area for the competition.
“Xiao Han is surprisingly popular.”
“What’s wrong? Sister Bai isn’t jealous, is she?”
“Of course not! I’m just happy that Xiao Han can casually talk to strangers like this. At least it’s a huge improvement compared to before.”
“Alas～～” I drew out my words and looked at Sister Bai, “What kind of image did I have in your eyes before?”
“Hmm… a helpless little girl who wasn’t good at socializing and who could only immerse herself in her own world?”
“Really? Am I that helpless?” Personally, I thought I was quite independent, after all, I’m the type who could find a job and wouldn’t starve to d*ath.
“Isn’t that the case? Wasn’t the little Xiao Han the type who could be easily lured home with a few comforting words? At least I could do that, right?”
“Look at how you describe me! You make me sound like… like…”
“Just say whether it’s true or not!”
“Even if you say that… hum… here’s this!” I took a deep breath, stopped my pace, and ordered a barbecue from a nearby stall to cover my embarrassment.
But I must say, the senior who set up this little barbecue stall really has a business mind. Originally, there wasn’t a vendor area here, but she came up with a mobile barbecue spell.
The fiery magic she used was truly eye-catching.
“Give me one too, I’ll pay for both of ours together,” Sister Bai joined me and ordered a finished skewer, paying for mine as well.
“Wait, what are you doing, Sister Bai?”
“Feeding you～”
Sister Bai presented a skewer to me with a smile.
“Are you going to eat or not?”
“Of course!” I bit into the skewer she handed me, the warmth and smoky flavor from the grilling exploding in my mouth.
Of course, these were just little interludes.
Sister Bai accompanied me around the training ground. Rather than just watching the competition, we both enjoyed the atmosphere.
Just as Sister Bai said, I easily immerse myself in my own world.
The old me couldn’t do anything, only indulging in my own fantasies, and now, I merely saw the things I was interested in as the only aspects of my world.
The experiment on self-generated magic was the most obvious example; it gradually made me realize that besides continuously learning about the extraordinary and conducting extraordinary experiments, I seemed to really know nothing else.
Looking around, the new student competition was just a noisy environment to me; even the passionate fights in the arena couldn’t stir my enthusiasm.
I became confused at the crossroads of living vividly and chasing life goals.
Perhaps this is a dilemma everyone faces, but more people still choose to stay mediocre, and maybe that’s a different answer.
“Xiao Han, Xiao Han!”
“Hmm?” I suddenly came to my senses at Sister Bai’s call.
“Lost in thought again? What does Xiao Han think about every day?”
“Uh… nothing, where are we going next?”
“Alas～～” Seeing my expression, Sister Bai sighed deeply, “Is Xiao Han thinking about the meaning of life again?”
“Don’t use heart sense for such matters…”
“But Xiao Han isn’t honest enough, and I can’t help it～ Without these methods, how else would I know what is bothering you every day?”
“I’m not…”
“Even saying that, you don’t believe yourself, do you? What profound ideas are you thinking about? Does life need those? And earlier you didn’t even tell me about the witches enjoying life; what did you mean by that?”
“That’s true… Ay～ I almost let my negative emotions consume me again. Should I find some time to seal off these emotions and memories?” With Sister Bai saying this, I gradually calmed down.
Indeed, the issues within me arose, but she couldn’t truly awaken someone; only I could figure it out.
But what did I realize?
If I cannot enjoy playing, cannot sleep peacefully, and cannot wholeheartedly engage in my work, isn’t that a failed life?
My innermost thought does not admit that such a life is a failure, so I would draw out the courage to refute myself.
People can be such wonderful beings.
“Sealing? I think it’s best not to. It’s better not to suppress those negative feelings. During your memory sealing technique, I’ve also learned about self-sealing techniques.”
“Learned? How come I didn’t know? Did you secretly do this, Sister Bai?” I asked curiously, “So what conclusions did you reach?”
“The essence of the Self-Memory Sealing Technique is not to escape, but to better cope with it. It slightly allows inappropriate memories and emotions to manifest under external influences, at the moment you are ready to accept your imperfect self.”
“Since you’ve done your homework so well, then I guess I’ll just have to listen to you～”
After regaining my spirits, I gradually began to express my innermost thoughts.
“Sister Bai… it’s really boring here… I want to do something more interesting.”
“More interesting? Has Xiao Han thought about what to do?”
“No… If I had, I wouldn’t be wandering around here. Whether I’m out playing or watching the new student competition, they are just my excuses. I just want to do something, and then I realize this is not what I expect…”
“Alas… this is a bit troublesome.” Although Sister Bai was pleased that Xiao Han was expressing her thoughts so candidly, this inner thought posed another dilemma without an answer.
“Yeah～ this is troublesome, right? But I thought you’d take the opportunity of this topic to draw me into something risqué; I thought you would invite me to explore new playthings in bed.”
“Oh? Is that what you were thinking?”
“No, no! I was just teasing you, don’t take it seriously! Tonight is not the agreed night, no risqué stuff!”
“Alright～” Sister Bai reluctantly agreed, with a hint of regret in her tone, “Let’s ask in another way then. Xiao Han, do you think school is boring?”
“Boring! It’s really dull. Not only is reality muddled up by a bunch of idiots, but the academy’s online community is filled with brainless and uninteresting people too.”
“Oh～ such extreme remarks. I remember around this time last year, you held a strong yearning for the Witch Academy, right?”
“Maybe it’s true that the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment?” I shrugged.
I spent this year wrapped up in the experience that seemed fulfilling, merely grappling with an ephemeral fortune out of sheer wishful thinking.
What was I truly yearning for and expecting back then?
Joy and happiness after becoming a girl?
Or watching those who, like me, became girls lose their way and accept reality under the shift of concepts?
But as the new academic year began, I even missed out on that grandeur, so… what exactly suppressed my original intent to seek fun?
Is it responsibility, perception, or some kind of cognitive shackles?
Or… do I simply not know what I truly want?
“Then… how about going off-campus?” Sister Bai suggested again, “It seems I still haven’t had a good look at the Main World with you. The previous small world was like that, and the Expanding Realm was similar. When you went to experience that world, I wasn’t there to accompany you.”
“Uh… that’s not too good either. The current state of the Main World isn’t great, right? I don’t want to cause any trouble… other extraordinary academies are trying to find ways to k*ll me right now～”
“That’s true…” Sister Bai nodded in agreement with my statement.
Since that mid-term hunting event, enough people wanting to k*ll me proved their determination.
“Since there’s nothing to be done, it’s best not to think of a solution. Instead of spending time thinking of ways, it’s better to gradually eliminate the things you don’t want, isn’t it?” Sister Bai grabbed my wrist, preparing to leave.
“Eh? What do you mean?” I was caught off guard by Sister Bai’s actions.
“To experience! Just like you told me before, life is about constant experience, to experience things you’ve never tried or things you have tried but never truly noticed.”
“Take food and drinks for example, you always use Five Senses Body Cultivation as an excuse to experience food and snacks, but you’ve never looked at it from another angle: your feelings. Do you actually like them? I remember you said you liked black coffee, but do you really like coffee? Do you enjoy the bitterness? Who ever naturally enjoys bitter things?”
“Do you know how many milk tea shops there are in the Witch Academy? Do you know how many flavors of milk tea there are? Can you name what you like to drink in one breath? No… you can’t; you don’t have your own preferences. You’re just like an indifferent passerby. Your so-called experience is merely a traceless browsing, along with a numb stimulation—it’s an objective feeling, not a subjective experience.”
“This…”
For a moment, I found myself at a loss for words; I had been schooled by Sister Bai once again… but I didn’t find it unpleasant.
“Stop hesitating. Since you don’t like being here, then what’s there to miss when leaving?”
As Sister Bai said, sometimes making a decision doesn’t require a reasonable explanation; just follow your inner thoughts. If staying in a place feels boring or uninteresting, then go to another place.
Even if that location has a lively atmosphere.
Even if the next place is even more boring.
But that anticipation before heading to the next place is far more precious than the experience after arriving.
“Eh? Is that… Xiao Han?” Among the crowd at the new student competition, Ying Shiqian from the bakery pointed to a figure in the sky.
“Has she left? What is so urgent?”
“What a shame… before encountering Xiao Han, she has already run away?”
“Let’s go, let’s go～ Xiao Han must have other important matters. I just saw Tan Han over there; let’s go find Little Tan to play～”
The lively new student competition will not come to an end because of the departure of one or two people, as everyone is continuously searching for new fun.
And I followed Sister Bai through the sparsely populated streets of the Witch Academy.
Sister Bai asked me why I thought I liked black coffee… I didn’t know, but my subconscious knew that no one liked drinking something so bitter, which is precisely why I liked it.
This thought seemed engraved in my instincts.
Most boys wouldn’t accept transitioning into girls, so I wanted to experience it.
No one would spend time comforting those boys who changed genders after entering the Witch Academy, but I found that very interesting…
But when I realized that the seniors in the Witch Academy all greatly enjoyed transforming boys into girls, I slowly distanced myself from this interest…
I suddenly found my behavior strange… chasing things that others do not yearn for.
Just like now… the most popular ladder competition and new student competition in the Witch Academy, but I found myself stepping away from those things and ordering a cup of a soon-to-be discontinued flavor of milk tea at a deserted milk tea shop with Sister Bai on a quiet commercial street.
Yet I drank it with immense delight, the strange taste along with a hint of odd sweetness felt like a novelty.
“Miss Store Manager, what is the name of this milk tea?” I asked, shaking the cup in my hand.
“It’s called Fruity Explosion Milk Tea, right? The little junior sister isn’t thinking of returning it because she finds it undrinkable, is she?”
“Not at all～ I was just asking the name. I think it’s delicious, is it really going to be discontinued?” I inquired with some regret. Although adding fresh fruit to milk tea is indeed an odd pairing… unexpectedly, I found I somewhat liked it.
“Ah? There’s actually someone who thinks… um… I mean, this flavor is being discontinued because its sales aren’t ideal; it’s a pity. How about I give you the recipe? If you really like it, you can make it yourself!”
“Really? Thank you, senior～”
After receiving the recipe, Sister Bai accompanied me as we left the place.
“Does Xiao Han really like this flavor? It’s quite surprising. You actually like this type?”
“No… I just think this flavor is special… perhaps it truly is a failed product…” I looked at the ingredient list, which was really wild and bold. “But when no one else likes it, I feel like my preference… imbues it with a more special value… just like… black coffee.”
