Chapter Eighty-Nine: I Want to See You Eat Melon
Zhang Hainan’s original intention was just to have Luxianbei help him with “mountain guarding and palace defense.”
Although Luxianbei’s identity as Calamity wasn’t convenient to speak about openly at the moment.
However, judging from the intelligence collected by the Siye Society and his performance last night, his current strength could be considered top-tier even in the talent-rich Dachunyang Palace, perhaps only a few elders who had been Spiritual Ability Users for many years could surpass him.
Thus, when dealing with the urban legends behind the Secret Society, and when Secret Society members really took the opportunity to create chaos in Dachunyang Palace, Luxianbei could be considered a strong fighting force who could be of assistance.
When Luxianbei hurriedly ran out of the breakfast shop, Zhang Hainan didn’t immediately react; he was baffled by his sudden excitement, wondering how it had turned into a matter involving mountain guardian beasts.
How could a person be made into a mountain guardian beast?
What kind of decorum is it to have a live person squatting in front of the mountain gate with Shuishu Beasts?
I have to say, having lived this long, from Qing Ji to Lu Bayi, then to Luxianbei, I’ve never managed to keep up with the thought processes of this family.
Before Zhang Hainan could connect Luxianbei’s inconvenient-to-mention identity with the Shuishu Beast guarding Dachunyang Palace and the discarded case from years ago when Dachunyang Palace tried to recruit urban legends, another even more incomprehensible situation occurred.
Just a moment ago, Luxianbei seemed to have received a huge fright, yet now he had returned, sitting down expressionlessly and picking up the porridge on the table.
Weren’t you just running away in a hurry? Why are you back? Zhang Hainan looked at Luxianbei, confusion showing in his eyes.
Luxianbei quickly finished the porridge and wiped his mouth, saying, “I thought about it, actually it’s possible, but I have a few conditions…”
Although the old coot Zhang Hainan was forcing the blooming urban legend to trade on their appearance to conduct business, that blooming urban legend thought about it carefully; this time, he probably couldn’t run away.
Even the well-hidden Pink Fluffy Rabbit could be dragged out; let alone a small Calamity?
Since running away was not an option, it was better to lie flat and enjoy!
Being proactive is definitely better than getting caught later and being put in a collar in an embarrassing manner.
As for being a mountain guardian beast, the benefits and treatment should be there, and likely quite good… Since you want me to be the “stone lion” at the door, don’t blame me for asking for more! Luxianbei thought to himself.
“Conditions?” Zhang Hainan pondered for two seconds, smiling as he stroked his beard, “I’m asking for your help, so naturally, I can’t let you work for nothing, but… you have to tell me what your conditions are first.”
The same thing had happened to Luxue Bo and Lu Ming before; Zhang Hainan had experienced it twice already and would definitely not stumble in the same place a third time.
I knew this old fellow wasn’t so easy to talk to… Luxianbei grumbled inwardly, cleared his throat, and said, “You have to let me be the proxy headmaster, overseeing everything in Dachunyang Palace, and no one can have any objections to what I do; otherwise, it’ll be treated as betrayal of the sect…”
“Hm?” Upon hearing this, Zhang Hainan’s expression immediately changed, frowning.
Although he understood through the investigation via the Wordless Book that Luxianbei was Calamity, he realized why Luxianbei could bring about the “feminization of the Yang in Dachunyang Palace,” but he didn’t expect him to be so direct.
Goodness, he was even bolder than those two kids, Luxue Bo and Lu Ming!
Those two youths only dared to ask for the matching sword of the ancestor and the right to use the Zixiao Terrace, but he came straight out wanting the whole Dachunyang Palace?
What does it mean that blue comes from blue yet surpasses blue? This is it, Zhang Hainan thought.
“Uh, that demand is a bit excessive?” Luxianbei probed.
“What do you think?” Zhang Hainan replied, maintaining his usual expression.
Luxianbei, “……”
I know it’s excessive, but I’m doing it on purpose! Mr. Lu Xun said well, Z Countrymen’s temperament always prefers compromise and moderation…
First, propose an excessively unreasonable condition that is absolutely impossible to agree to. Then, follow it up with a less excessive condition which will be easier to agree to, right?
Next is the moment to display my true intentions! Luxianbei thought.
However, just as he thought he had achieved his goal and was preparing to “lower the bar” for benefits, an unexpected situation occurred.
“I think your conditions are very reasonable!” Zhang Hainan nodded, rummaging around his robe before placing a jade yin-yang fish pendant on the table. “This is my pendant; it has accompanied me for over sixty years. Take it, and in Dachunyang Palace, seeing the pendant is like seeing me.”
Zhang Hainan might sometimes struggle to keep up with the thought processes of the Luxian family, but he was familiar with their tricks.
If I give it to you, will you dare to take it?
Don’t think your little schemes are unknown to me; those are leftovers from your great-grandfather and your father!
Luxianbei never expected that such an excessive request would actually be agreed to by Zhang Hainan.
It felt like rushing into a museum to rob it, initially only wanting to steal the day’s ticket revenue, but the curator handed over the museum’s treasures.
The jade pendant on the table was clear and translucent, with a faint luminescence, seemingly depicting blue and white fish swimming within the pendant.
Looking at the pendant, Luxianbei furrowed his brows, falling into deep thought.
Could this have some kind of trick?
Once I take the pendant, will I be permanently bound to Dachunyang Palace until another scapegoat appears?
In any case, this old man agreeing so readily definitely has some unspeakable ulterior motive!
Thinking of this, Luxianbei looked at Zhang Hainan sitting across from him, whose eyes were slightly narrowed, with a half-smile and a serious expression, and he forced a laugh, “Ha, ha, I was joking, joking! How could I dare to manage Dachunyang Palace? Even if I dared, those elders wouldn’t approve, right?”
Zhang Hainan, “……”
I knew this kid wouldn’t dare to take it…
If you really had taken it, you would be obediently staying in Dachunyang Palace, practicing for ten or eight years!
Luxianbei guessed correctly; although Zhang Hainan was certain he probably wouldn’t dare take the pendant, he still made two preparations.
What if he really grew a bear’s heart and leopard’s guts and took the pendant?
That yin-yang fish pendant indeed contained a trick; once taken, the hidden contract would activate, effectively binding him to Dachunyang Palace, and he could not leave until Zhang Hainan acknowledged him worthy of departing.
According to the contract, the conditions for departure would be to reach the level of proxy headmaster.
“This is the own condition you said you didn’t want!” Zhang Hainan picked up the pendant from the table, shaking it in front of Luxianbei, “I’ll give you another chance.”
Luxianbei shook his head vigorously, like a rattle toy.
No, can’t take it.
Zhang Hainan put the pendant away into his robe, sitting upright, saying, “If that’s the case, then you can tell me your other conditions.”
“……” Having had his little scheme easily thwarted by Zhang Hainan, Luxianbei felt suppressed. After thinking for a while, he tentatively asked, “Can I have a visual concept diagram? Preferably one related to giants.”
This way, he would have the opportunity to truly transform the Hundred-Armed Giant Power within him into his own strength.
“Sure,” Zhang Hainan nodded, “In Dachunyang Palace, there’s a ‘Hunting Diagram of the Dog Rong Expedition,’ I can borrow it for you to take a look.”
What does this kid want a visual concept diagram for? To suppress the core of the urban legend within him? That is also a feasible method, Zhang Hainan thought.
Seeing that Zhang Hainan agreed to his first condition, Luxianbei gained some confidence and continued, “Then… can I also get a few blueprints for spirit energy items and alchemical potions? They don’t need to be high-level; low-level ones are fine, as long as they are practical.”
Even low-level ones could be appropriately modified later; paired with the “Zhipianxian Sea,” their power would definitely not be lacking.
Were alchemical dirty bombs not originally crude spirit energy items?
As long as there’s enough quantity now, they can cause damage to A-Class Spiritual Ability Users, Luxianbei thought.
This kid is always messing around outside; wanting some practical spirit energy items for self-protection is quite reasonable… Zhang Hainan agreed again, “No problem! Anything else?”
As Zhang Hainan continuously agreed to his two conditions, Luxianbei gradually grew bolder. Looking at Zhang Hainan, he pondered for a few seconds and said very seriously, “There’s one very important thing…”
“Oh?” Zhang Hainan raised an eyebrow. “Go on.”
Luxianbei secretly sized up Zhang Hainan for a moment and said weakly, “Senior, as a master of an era, headmaster of Dachunyang Palace, guardian of the Siye Society, and the strongest spiritual ability user of this generation, you have the demeanor of an immortal and should not go back on your word, right?”
“Just say what you need to say; don’t sweet-talk me!”
He understood the tricks; sweet-talking meant mischief was afoot.
“Well, I said it, but you must not get angry after I finish.”
“Go on, go on!” Zhang Hainan waved his hand.
Symbolizing the headmaster’s identity, I dare to present it before you, what could possibly make me angry? Zhang Hainan thought.
“I want to see you eat melon.”
Luxianbei initially wanted to directly ask for the remnants of Ling Tai Purification, but since he had seen the remnants shatter last night, in order to make up for the loss, he could only begrudgingly ask to see a melon-eating performance.
Even though he learned that the old man selling melons was indeed the Black Emperor, Luxianbei still eagerly wanted to witness him eat the melon.
Just imagining that scene was already quite amusing!
“Huh?” Zhang Hainan was slightly stunned.
“I said I want to see you eat melon!” Thinking Zhang Hainan hadn’t heard him clearly, Luxianbei repeated, “You said it yourself, if my melon was undercooked, you would have to eat it all yourself… oh right, and you would have to compensate me.”
“I counted; before it was a total of five melons cut, each compensation is two hundred, so you owe me a thousand for five, an average of five pounds each…”
“Oh, right, undercooked melons might be hard to find; I’ll go buy you five ripe ones, but you must eat them all! Those melon farmers have it tough too…”
Zhang Hainan, “……” It’s easy for an old man of my age to eat twenty or more pounds of melon, right?
Listening to Luxianbei itemizing various “accounts,” his expression grew increasingly dark.
—
Zhang Hainan was not a person who went back on his word; he ultimately agreed to the request for a performance of eating melons, but this had to be deferred until the understanding of the Secret Society was complete.
After parting ways with Zhang Hainan outside the breakfast shop, Luxianbei stood at the corner of the sleepless street, basking in the gentle morning sunlight, and stretched lazily.
Next, it was time to do the proper thing: first, ask the proxy player sister what places the Pink Fluffy Rabbit could harm besides Dachunyang Palace, and then…
Oh right, he also needed to ask the ancestor what to do since the remnants of Ling Tai Purification had shattered. Luxianbei thought.
