Chapter 80: Mind Anchor Points, Borrowed Dreams
“Why the sudden question?”
Rast stopped in his tracks.
The sky had turned from crimson to a dim deep blue, and the night had quietly descended.
“Because it’s indeed suspicious.”
Hiltina crossed her arms.
“I originally thought—”
“The reason you chose to join Starry University and become a Night Traveler was primarily to find a place to settle.”
“After all, you are alone in this world, needing money, a place to stay, and a certain social status to survive better in the present reality.”
“This is the most reasonable explanation and also the conclusion previously drawn by classmate Isda during your psychological assessment.”
“But if that’s the case—”
“Then you wouldn’t have chosen to enter Calamity Echo with me at that time.”
“Clearing Calamity Echo is not an obligation for a newcomer; the risks it brings far outweigh the rewards.”
She fixed a suggestive gaze on Rast.
During her time at Deep Blue Harbor, Hiltina had deeply felt Rast’s decisiveness.
Without any unnecessary actions—
Every word and deed was solely focused on clearing Deep Blue Harbor, to end the cycle, and he would spare no effort to achieve it.
It was as if he were a machine, driven by a scorching core, moving along the path of optimal solutions towards a preset goal, leaving no trace of unnecessary redundancy.
Thus, Hiltina sensed a sense of incongruity with Rast.
Because if it were merely for the goal of “living better in the present world,” he wouldn’t need to enter Calamity Echo, nor would he need to put himself in such a dire, life-threatening state.
As for the notion that Rast did all these things for himself—
Such speculation, as soon as it arose, was instinctively denied by Hiltina.
She certainly did not believe she possessed such great charm.
Moreover—
Hiltina had a faint feeling.
It seemed Rast could display all sorts of appropriate behaviors and get along well with everyone.
But deep down, his heart appeared to be like a piece of steel tempered countless times, hard and cold.
In a certain sense, he might even be less understanding of human emotions than his father, the emperor hailed as a perfect monarch.
The latter understood human nature, yet had to act unfeeling at many times due to the responsibilities of being a king.
The former seemed to be well-versed in human emotions, getting along harmoniously with himself and Mr. Silver, even managing to become a beloved friend with a perfect rating of one hundred percent…
But in reality, deep within his crumbling shell, in that burning core, there was not a trace of human impurities left.
Hiltina had sensed this anomaly from very early on through some inexplicable intuition.
But given the nature of their relationship at the time, if Rast did not speak up, Hiltina wouldn’t inquire.
It was just that now.
After her expectations for this world were renewed because of the boy before her,
Her heart inadvertently began to harbor curiosity about the person named Rast.
Covered by the night, the deserted street fell into a brief silence.
The silhouettes of the two under the dim sky resembled carved sculptures.
“Forget it, it’s fine.”
“Eavesdropping on others’ secrets isn’t really in line with the etiquette of nobility, after all.”
Just as Hiltina was about to say the words she had prepared, she heard the boy chuckle lightly.
“Actually, it’s not something very presentable.”
Rast smiled slightly, gazing at the thin night curtain.
“When we were children, each of us had many dreams, right?”
“For instance, after reading stories about brave heroes battling dragons in picture books, one dreams of becoming a hero; after hearing tales of scientists propelling civilization forward, one dreams of being a scientist.”
“And some dream of being painters, astronauts, inventors, wanting to build castles floating in the sky… and so on.”
“But ultimately, those were merely yearnings born out of witnessing others’ brilliance when we were young.”
“Or perhaps, they are borrowed dreams.”
“Hiltina, you are one such case; it was that lady named Cecilia who left the obsession of the Ranger to you.”
“And I too am a similar case, which is why I said we are somewhat alike.”
He paused briefly.
“When I was very small, someone saved me from the burning Canaan.”
“To this day, I still remember that scene… Red flames and black smoke on either side of the collapsed ruins, and the woman, after rescuing me, showing a truly comforting smile.”
“That smile was so beautiful that I unconsciously developed a yearning and longing for it.”
“It has also become a curse, deeply engraved in my memory, never forgotten despite the passage and wear of years.”
From the distant main hall came the sounds of jubilation; the evening dance of the celebration had commenced.
Various lights illuminated simultaneously, accompanied by soaring fireworks, projected into the high night sky.
In the next moment, the fireworks exploded into brilliant bursts, imprinting themselves against the dim night.
The main hall stood on the earth, its towering spire piercing into the pitch-black clouds.
“Of course, everyone has had such dreams during childhood; there’s nothing particularly special about them.”
“Under normal circumstances, with the passage of time and changes in mindset, those unrealistic childhood dreams are naturally forgotten…”
“Just like a child who dreamed of becoming a doctor or a teacher will often aspire to be a wealthy person when they grow up.”
“If I could grow up normally like an ordinary person, live a complete life… then the yearning of my childhood should also gradually fade from my memory and become mere casual chat over tea.”
“But you already know what happened afterward.”
“My life has been forever frozen on the very same day at Deep Blue Harbor, and I can no longer move forward.”
Rast smiled slightly, looking towards the direction where the cheerful sounds came from.
The well-lit hall reflected in his eyes, as if it were a towering spire reaching to the skies.
“Memories fade over time, and the heart becomes scarred by erosion… even the concept of the self becomes ambiguous in the eternal cycle.”
“To prevent my self-awareness from disappearing, at that time I was like a drowning person, desperately clinging to that yearning in my memory as if it were a lifeline.”
“I regarded it as a ‘mind anchor point’—”
“As long as I have not forgotten that yearning and longing, it means that the self named Rast has not yet died in Deep Blue Harbor, leaving only a hollow and void shell.”
Rast shifted his gaze away from the brightly lit tower.
His dark eyes were once again obscured by the night, becoming difficult to discern.
“Memories are gradually eroded, and time embellishes and refines them.”
“To this day, I am uncertain whether my longing and desires are still in their original form; perhaps they have long been distorted beyond recognition.”
“However, whether true or false… that has indeed become an obsession deep within my soul, an indelible mark.”
“It is also proof that I am still alive.”
“I walked out of Deep Blue Harbor to fulfill that wish, joined Starry University.”
“And, ultimately, met you.” Rast’s words dissipated in the evening breeze.
Hiltina turned to look at the boy beside her.
His expression remained calm and solemn, as if nothing could stir his heart, yet his voice was surprisingly gentle, tinged with inexplicable melancholy.
This reminded Hiltina of her first meeting with Rast in Deep Blue Harbor, of her feelings when she saw him asleep.
He was not unlike the enigmatic persona he usually projected; he appeared rather fragile.
(End of Chapter)
