Chapter 22: Hitting Children
Luxianbei once saw an article online titled “Detailed Response Plans After Being Attacked by Face-Hugging Worms.”
At that time, he scoffed at the article, not even glancing at it before clicking the top right corner.
Is there any chance of survival after being attacked by that thing?
There was definitely no chance of survival, but when it came to response plans, there were indeed some.
To avoid being killed by the face-hugging worms, one simply needed to strike first and k*ll the victim.
However, it was clear that he couldn’t k*ll himself, so he began to feel a bit regretful. Had he known he would encounter a situation like today, he should have taken the time to read that article.
……
The little girl confidently rode on Luxianbei’s back, completely treating him as if he were a familiar friend, which irked him quite a bit.
Taking advantage of the moment she searched through his belongings, Luxianbei ruthlessly tossed her off without considering whether she might get hurt.
In his view, a little girl who could jump nearly 1.7 meters from the ground couldn’t possibly be an ordinary human. A little fall shouldn’t hurt her, especially since she exuded a spirit energy fluctuation.
However, Luxianbei completely underestimated that mischievous child’s combat power.
Just as he threw the little girl away, she hit the ground, and with her small, pinked toes lightly tapping the floor, her figure instantly leaped back up, arms spread wide…
“Splash—!” She re-hugged Luxianbei’s head.
The little girl clung to Luxianbei, wrapping her arms around his neck, her nearly flat chest pressing against his face, making him feel as though he was about to suffocate.
He had no idea where she was finding such strength; it was tighter than what He Jinyin used to lock up the Big Brother. In a moment, Luxianbei felt utterly distressed and humiliated.
“Get off! Mmm… don’t… mmm… Professor, save me…” Luxianbei struggled while intermittently calling out.
At the moment he called for Professor Ma, the little girl suddenly leaned close to his ear and whispered, “Big Brother, don’t you recognize Mengmeng? Didn’t we have so much fun earlier?”
With that, she revealed a sly smile that Professor Ma and Liu Banxian couldn’t see.
Mengmeng? Who is Meng… wait!
Could she be Jumeng?
In an instant, a thunderbolt seemed to explode in Luxianbei’s mind, and he felt a buzzing in his ears, instantly giving up on his resistance.
He initially thought this was a little demon from after 2020, but unexpectedly, it was actually an ancient demon from before A.D. 3020.
Wasn’t that even more overwhelming?
After experiencing numerous events and encountering a large number of urban legends, Luxianbei finally realized how terrifying this Stinky Sister, who once stayed at his home without leaving, truly was.
Leveraging the favorable location and using clever means, he had snatched the victory fruit from Pestilence Taijie’s grasp and barely become the king of urban legends within a radius of over a hundred miles in Huacheng.
Since ancient times, it has always been easier to start a business than to maintain it.
Jumeng’s domain was more than seven times his own, including places like Tangcheng, littered with ancient tombs and urban legends. For hundreds, even thousands of years, no urban legend dared to cause trouble, and she was undoubtedly much more powerful than he was now. Even among urban legends of Cataclysm Grade, there was at least a good chance half of them would be suppressed by her.
However, a powerful figure like Jumeng was now stabbed in the back; one could imagine how terrifying her enemy must be.
Now, being connected to her, he wouldn’t even know how he would d*e.
What is this twisted fate! Why am I so unlucky? Meeting her at a time like this would probably get me into serious trouble, Luxianbei thought.
While Luxianbei was lost in his worries, Jumeng turned to Liu Banxian and sweetly smiled. Liu Banxian watched, feeling a chill throughout his body as if he were undressed in the biting winter cold.
“Grandpa, I want to go upstairs to play with Big Brother for a while. Can you take care of this shameless old man down here?”
Could I possibly say no? Liu Banxian thought, desperately forcing a loving smile and nodding, “Alright, you two go! Have fun.”
After speaking, a fleeting glance of sympathy appeared in Liu Banxian’s eyes.
With Jumeng’s unruly and quirky personality, this kid was bound to end up half-battered at her hands.
But why was Jumeng so close to this kid? Liu Banxian wondered in confusion.
“Yay!” Jumeng cheered, slipping from in front of Luxianbei to behind him like a slippery loach, climbing onto his shoulder, hands playfully tugging at his ears, “Let’s go, Big Brother, to the upstairs to play?”
“……”
Luxianbei stole a glance at the excited Jumeng and silently gritted his teeth.
Fine! I’ll endure it; after all, I can’t beat her.
With that thought, he quietly stood up and followed the direction indicated by Jumeng’s small pink hand toward the second floor of Chunfeng Residence Cottage.
“……”
Watching Luxianbei leave with Jumeng on his back, Professor Ma momentarily lost his words.
Why is this happening?
I came here first, whether it was recognizing her or showing her kindness, I did it first.
I’m really envious! I also want to be ridden by a cute little girl, Professor Ma thought.
Liu Banxian looked at Professor Ma and seemed to read his thoughts from his infatuated expression. He then glanced down at his own protruding belly and sighed silently.
No, old brother, you really don’t want to get involved with this deity…
————
On the second floor of Chunfeng Residence Cottage.
Luxianbei propped his chin up with one hand, repeatedly sizing up the little one seated in the rattan chair, who looked harmless, deep in thought.
She seemed smaller than when she was in Huacheng?
Tangcheng was her domain, and her main body was here; logically, within this range, she should be the strongest urban legend.
Why is that? Is it because she suffered a backstab and her strength was compromised, or does being smaller mean getting closer to her peak state? It’s a principle like how the more pink hair you have, the harder you hit.
While Luxianbei was lost in thought, Jumeng suddenly asked, “Speaking of which, why are you in Tangcheng? Is it because you received my call for help?”
“Call for help?” Luxianbei tilted his head in confusion.
“It’s the message ‘Me, ally, send money!’” Jumeng blinked her big watery eyes, explaining, “I had Yuan Ye send it to all allies.”
“……”
Remembering a certain message type he had deleted and blocked due to a suspected telecom scam, Luxianbei was momentarily speechless.
Whoever believes that is really foolish!
In any case, he decided to pretend he had never seen it.
After a brief silence, he shrugged and said, “I haven’t seen it. I came along with the professor as an assistant and muscle for the Dongyi Cultural Research Project.”
“What’s so good to research about that?” Jumeng pouted like a child hearing adults talking about researching their toys. “If you really want to know, can’t you just ask me directly?”
“You mean to study you?” Luxianbei said dismissively.
What’s so special about you? Maybe in modern times you’d just be smoking and drinking or in ancient times competing in throwing pots and horse racing, right?
Tsk, totally lacking substance!
“Oh—!” Jumeng waved her pink little hand, unfastening a button of her qipao, and neatly bringing her legs together in a shy manner, “If you want to study me, it’s not impossible! But the condition is…”
“Stop!” Luxianbei interrupted without hesitation, preempting Jumeng from asking too much, “I’m a law-abiding good citizen; I’m not interested in you. I prefer the cool, aloof types.”
What, with your flat chest and short legs? Haha!
While speaking, Luxianbei cast a glance at Jumeng’s chest and the chubby little short legs exposed under her skirt. Although no expression appeared on his face, his eyes held a highly insulting mocking gleam.
“d*mn! You look down on people!” Jumeng protested, “I wasn’t like this before; I used to have… uh, no, I used to be this big! You know?”
As she spoke, her tender little hands made exaggerated arcs in front of her chest.
Before? So she’s really not in her normal state now?
Luxianbei squinted his eyes and probed, “Speaking of which, I went to the Tangcheng Siye Society previously; they said you were attacked by a group of unknown forces and your strength was severely weakened. Is that true?”
“Uh, why are you asking that?”
It’s not that I distrust you; I’m just worried you might take advantage of me!
Jumeng calculated the little thoughts in her mind, a hint of panic fleetingly flashing in her eyes before she regained her composure, proudly stating, “I’m fine; I just suffered a small injury, but it’s nothing serious! I’ll be able to charge back soon and reclaim my territory!”
With that, she silently sighed within her heart.
To say that she wasn’t afraid of Qunyang’s revival would be a lie; after all, it was a legendary that was born from the same source as her and had powers that could suppress her in every aspect.
However, given the current circumstances, she couldn’t show even a hint of weakness. If she fell, everyone in Peach Source would suffer, so she had to project enough strength in front of everyone.
Especially with Yuan Ye’s life and d*ath being uncertain, she felt a cloud of worry and confusion in her heart. Apart from Liu Banxian, she dared not contact anyone related to Peach Source easily.
After the first assassination attempt, Jumeng thoroughly thought through every detail. The conclusion she drew was that if there wasn’t a guiding party involved, even that group of top spiritual ability users and urban legends led by Qunyang’s followers wouldn’t be able to infiltrate the depths of Peach Source silently.
This also explained why Jumeng was so ecstatic upon seeing Luxianbei.
Although Luxianbei was somewhat inferior to the members of Peach Source scattered around Tangcheng, he was still a relatively reliable ally.
“Really?” Luxianbei eyed Jumeng sideways, tilting his head. “Then you should recover quickly! The Tangcheng Siye Society has noticed something unusual.”
“In about four days, if you still can’t maintain the order in Tangcheng, they’ll activate the city barrier and bombard Peach Source.”
Upon hearing this, Jumeng froze for a moment, then her expression darkened as she cursed heavily, “Tch, those lazy bums! They usually take advantage of my protection, slacking off while stealing their pay, and now they actually kick me when I’m down!”
“Just wait, I’ll take care of them, especially that Shang Nanxing. I was kind-hearted enough to help her get through five years of food after seeing her starving on the streets. How ungrateful! It’s infuriating!”
Normally, would she have already brought a kn*fe to hack at them… Luxianbei silently watched Jumeng, and after she finished speaking, he nodded, “Seeing you so lively puts my mind at ease. I’ll go tell them to proceed according to the original plan.”
“After all, you’ll be able to take care of these problems in a short while, right? If there’s nothing else, I’ll leave first.”
Saying this, he turned around, pretending to leave.
Let’s test her first; if I can get away, it’ll be a good thing!
No need to be involved in her chaos; I won’t d*e for anyone! Luxianbei thought.
Seeing this, Jumeng’s little face turned pale, and she suddenly leaped up from the rattan chair, arms outstretched toward Luxianbei.
Hearing the wind behind him, Luxianbei had already been prepared. He dodged to the side, watching Jumeng fly past him and feeling a sly sense of triumph in his eyes, but then his pupils slightly constricted.
“Whoosh—!”
With a light sound, a pair of pitch-black wings suddenly unfurled behind Jumeng, spinning in mid-air, flying towards him, and “Splash!” she clung to his head.
“You’re not allowed to leave!”
“Mmm… mmm…” Luxianbei tugged at the arms wrapped around him, letting out a groan.
Upon hearing this, Jumeng paused for a moment, crawling over his shoulder, and swung her legs over his neck, sitting on his shoulder.
“Whew—!” Breathing in the fresh air again, Luxianbei let out a long sigh, glancing at Jumeng on his shoulder and said irritably, “What are you doing?”
“Hey, I’m just thinking of you!” Jumeng said, rubbing Luxianbei’s head, speaking seriously.
“Helping a deity is a rare opportunity; we’re this familiar, I have to give you a chance to gain some benefits, don’t you agree?”
Luxianbei, “……”
She needs my help? That doesn’t make any sense!
Without becoming an urban legend, my spiritual energy fluctuation is only B+ at most; how could I possibly help her?
Could it be that… Luxianbei squinted his eyes slightly.
“Let’s put it this way! During my recovery period, I’ll begrudgingly appoint you as my personal mounted general. When I charge back into Peach Source, I’ll open the treasure store for you, letting you pick whatever you like, how about that?”
Personal™ what kind of thing is that? Luxianbei frowned, “Aren’t you afraid it would be uncomfortable? To be honest, my body is just fine; I can’t help but wake up at seven every morning.”
“Haha!” Jumeng sneered, casting a sideways glance at Luxianbei’s lower half, “Oh, so confident? But, big sister, I can’t sit on that!”
Luxianbei, “……”
Being told such a thing by an ancient demon with a porcelain doll appearance, he felt a tremendous humiliation.
As the saying goes, a soldier can be killed but not humiliated, so he decided to stop pretending!
“You’re actually severely injured and completely weakened, right?” Luxianbei coldly stared at Jumeng, “I’ve been observing you since I saw you; your spirit energy fluctuation hasn’t exceeded level C.”
Indeed, when Luxianbei entered Chunfeng Residence, he sensed a spirit energy fluctuation roughly at level C with his slightly heated eyes.
Due to the weakness of that spirit energy fluctuation, he didn’t take it seriously; he merely dispatched ten paper cicadas carrying alchemical bombs, lying in ambush around Chunfeng Residence.
When Jumeng appeared, he sensed she looked somewhat familiar, but because her spirit energy fluctuation was so weak, he didn’t connect her with the powerful deity whose fluctuations approached Cataclysm Grade.
After confirming Jumeng’s identity, Luxianbei initially thought she was deliberately suppressing her spirit energy fluctuation, but after a series of conversations and observations, combined with Mao Sanyou’s previous statements, the results were intriguing.
According to Mao Sanyou, the bl**d Jumeng spilled over the ring-shaped expressway was enough to supply Tangcheng University with meals for a day; her still being lively and able to fly to hug someone’s face could be seen as a miracle.
So the truth is clear: Jumeng is not pretend; she really is weak!
While thinking, Luxianbei suddenly grabbed Jumeng’s wrist and discreetly activated his spirit energy.
Feeling Luxianbei’s spiritual energy activity rising, Jumeng’s expression changed, “You little dog, didn’t you get enough of being taught a lesson by me? Wait, what are you trying to do?”
“Stinky sister, have you ever cried for yourself in your life?” Luxianbei said softly, a stiff and terrible smile emerging on his face, as if he were a zombie.
Jumeng, “?”
“Such a cute little girl like you must cry for a long time after getting a beating, right?”
Jumeng, “？？？”
In the next moment, she felt the world spinning, followed by a sharp pain in her backside, her little short legs inadvertently struggling like paddles.
“Pa——Pa——Pa——!”
————
Inside Chunfeng Residence, in the main hall.
Professor Ma and Liu Banxian were chatting merrily. These two experienced elders proved to have much in common once the topics of Jumeng and fortune-telling were set aside.
“Together, the three of us entered that tomb, and the surrounding space was grand; despite the peeling carvings and pillars, one could still see the magnificent atmosphere of that time…”
As Professor Ma sipped his tea, slowly recounting his youthful explorations of ancient tombs to Liu Banxian, a sudden “bang!” echoed from above, and dust rained down from the wooden beams.
Immediately after, he heard a heart-wrenching scream.
“Ah—! Help, Luxianbei is killing someone!”
After a moment of daze, Professor Ma snapped back, stood up suddenly, and shouted to the upstairs, “Luxianbei, what are you doing?”
“No worries, professor! I’m just hitting children! This kid isn’t obedient; they’re mostly spoiled, so a good beating will do! You all continue.” Luxianbei responded.
“Right, right!” Liu Banxian nodded in agreement, “Just beating a child! Children who aren’t beaten won’t grow into useful people; old brother, you continue. You were saying about entering the tomb; what happened next?”
That truly is your granddaughter? Professor Ma frowned slightly at the smiling Liu Banxian and replied seriously, “Old brother, the one being hit is your child.”
“It’s fine; it won’t matter… wait!” Liu Banxian’s expression suddenly changed midway, and he hurriedly ran upstairs.
