Chapter 14: Huacheng Has Skilled Ventriloquists
“Hit? Knocked out? This… doesn’t make sense!”
Luxianbei withdrew his gaze from the girl and looked at the toilet plunger in his hand.
It had a very ordinary design, with a wooden grip and a red rubber end.
After being dazed for two seconds, as if he suddenly recalled something, he abruptly turned around to look at the mirror beside him, a twitching sensation at the corner of his eye.
In the reflection, he saw a silver-haired girl holding an ancient-style broken sword.
[This sword is called Ling Tai Purification. The Ling Tai refers to the heart, and the Purification refers to a compassionate heart that kills no one. Ling Tai Purification is the heart sword, it cuts the heart and the karma but does not harm people.] This was information Luxianbei obtained from a strange dream.
“…”
This is actually quite normal, right? If my reflection in the mirror can turn into a beautiful girl, then it’s reasonable for the toilet plunger to turn into an ancient sword… right?
Luxianbei rubbed his slightly swollen temples.
He merely wanted to give the intruder a scare, but he didn’t expect this to happen.
This world is too crazy.
Luxianbei looked at the girl hanging by the window, pondered for a few seconds while cupping his chin with one hand, then grabbed her hands and began to try to pull her inside.
However…
He discovered that this was not an easy task.
The girl looked small, but seemed to hide immense strength.
To get her inside, Luxianbei almost tore the window frame off.
————
A moment later, the living room light turned on.
Luxianbei examined the girl’s face, lost in thought.
He had seen this girl, not at the crossroads during the day, but in that strange dream.
When she was waving at him from across the street at the crossroads during the day, he had already recognized this girl named Gu Qiqi.
At that time, no one else could see her, and he thought it was just a hallucination influenced by the strange dream.
He didn’t expect she would actually appear in his home now. Could this be a sign that things were getting worse in the dead of night?
Luxianbei sat up, reached out, and checked the girl’s breath.
A faint breath brushed against his fingers, warm and moist, silently affirming the girl’s real existence.
Retracting his hand, Luxianbei leaned back on the sofa and sighed, resting his forehead in his hand.
“d*mn it, I’m almost doubting my life because of that dream!”
The boundary between dreams and reality seemed to blur with Gu Qiqi’s appearance.
For a moment, he couldn’t determine what was real and what was fake.
If he said the memory of the dream was false, then Gu Qiqi was actually right in front of him.
If he said the memory of the dream was true, then Xiao Hua would become someone else’s fiancée, right?
Thinking about it was kind of prickly… cough, that can’t be right!?
Luxianbei slumped on the sofa for a moment, then stood up and went to the storage room, retrieving a few electrical wires.
Familiar or not, she had to be tied up…
After all, in the memory of the dream, Gu Qiqi wasn’t exactly a “good person” behind him.
Using a few finger-thick wires, he wrapped them around Gu Qiqi, securing her tightly.
Luxianbei waited impatiently for a while, then stood up, picked up a flower vase from the living room, and headed straight for the bathroom.
If the toilet plunger could turn into an ancient sword, then why couldn’t the vase turn into a jade bottle?
Who knows, maybe there were other things in the house that had changed. That mat did seem quite like a golden-threaded jade outfit, Luxianbei thought.
————
An hour later.
To control the uniqueness of his experimental variables, Luxianbei brought everything he could move in his house to the bathroom and checked them one by one.
Then…
His fantasy was shattered.
Apart from the toilet plunger, nothing else in the house had changed at all.
He sat on the toilet, gripping the plunger, staring into the mirror, doubting his life.
At that moment, a muffled whine came from the direction of the living room.
Gu Qiqi was finally awake.
————
“Ugh, my head hurts so much…”
Gu Qiqi muttered, slowly opening her eyes. When she saw the surroundings, she was slightly stunned.
This living room was completely unfamiliar, and the clutter made it look as if it had just been ransacked by thieves.
Where… is this?
Is this Luxianbei’s home?
Gu Qiqi thought, instinctively trying to move her body, only to feel a tight binding sensation.
Looking down, her mind was instantly filled with question marks, more than the marks from her teammates when Biyao’s flash teleport happened during group battles.
Several electric wires were tightly wrapped around her body, tied into two butterfly knots.
“Sasa—Sasa—!” The sound of slippers scuffling across the floor made a soft sound.
Gu Qiqi froze for a moment, following the sound with her gaze and her pupils constricted violently.
She saw a tall silver-haired girl walking over, holding a gleaming broken sword, with no expression on her face.
“System, it’s her, it’s her!”
Luxianbei, “… What is that? You barged into my home in a creepy way, and I haven’t even said anything yet!”
After calling a few times in a panic and receiving no response, Gu Qiqi realized that the system had been out of contact for a long time, and she closed her mouth.
Then…
Her whole state shifted from happy and hungry to scared and hungry.
After wandering in this city where no one could see her for several days, when she suddenly saw Luxianbei, Gu Qiqi was initially very excited and happy.
It felt like grabbing a lifeline during the most desperate, lonely, and helpless time.
However, when the broken sword struck her head, she suddenly realized that this lifeline had thorns on it and was poisoned.
I might really have been driven mad by hunger to seek him out.
Just like how the system used the core lure of urban legends to capture those who were so hungry they lost their sanity, Gu Qiqi thought.
Luxianbei could be kind-hearted and a good cook, but he could also be capricious and cruel as a calamity.
“…”
Gu Qiqi lowered her head guilt-ridden, avoiding Luxianbei’s gaze.
Why is she still looking at me? She doesn’t know about that, does she?
Oh no! I’ve already told the system that I want to defeat her fair and square and not resort to despicable means, Gu Qiqi thought.
Although the system had always emphasized the danger of calamity.
However, she always felt that before she completely turned into an urban legend, Luxianbei should still be able to be friends and probably wouldn’t harm her.
Previously, when she wrote an anonymous letter to Siye Society, she had asked the system what would happen if their activities were discovered by Luxianbei.
…
The system told Gu Qiqi, “Then you can only face it honestly and try to influence him with love.”
“Hey! Can it really be like that? If I influence him with love, will there be no problem?” Gu Qiqi asked.
Just as she was about to continue asking the system why it didn’t use “influence” earlier, she heard the system say, “It can’t, but doing that may let you d*e more quickly.”
After all, the only thing calamity wouldn’t torment is those who have loved her or whom she has loved… the system added silently in its mind.
————
Luxianbei stepped closer to Gu Qiqi, holding the toilet plunger in front of him, alert to any sudden changes. Just as he was about to say something, he saw Gu Qiqi suddenly lift her head and seriously say, “I love you! Okay, you can make your move now!”
“???”
Luxianbei was taken aback, and the plunger in his hand fell to the ground with a clatter. The thought of “severely interrogating” Gu Qiqi vanished in an instant.
I’m™ dumbfounded.
What is this development?
There was no scene of me dating her in the memories from the strange dream!
As he was puzzled, he suddenly noticed that Gu Qiqi’s gaze drifted to the side as if she was staring at something.
Following her gaze, he saw the takeout box of roast chicken rice from yesterday on the coffee table.
Luxianbei looked at the takeout, then back at Gu Qiqi, squinting his eyes, and cautiously asked, “Are you really hungry? Did you seek me out just to eat?”
“Glug—!” Gu Qiqi swallowed, then nodded.
“Just to confirm, you eat human food, right?” Luxianbei pressed further.
Gu Qiqi hesitated, seemingly worried about displeasing Luxianbei, and weakly said, “Well, it doesn’t necessarily have to be human food!”
Upon hearing this, Luxianbei’s gaze towards Gu Qiqi became vigilant again, unconsciously tightening his grip on the plunger.
“If it doesn’t work, cat biscuits are fine too!” Gu Qiqi said earnestly, “I ate them when I was wandering, and they were delicious!”
“Uh, I don’t take food from cats! Someone left it on the street to feed the cats, but the cats seemed to not like it.”
Luxianbei, “…”
Tying the girl up and feeding her cat biscuits? What do you think I am, some kind of sicko?
Wandering, sleeping under bridges, eating cat biscuits…
d*mn, why am I suddenly feeling a bit sorry for her?
Luxianbei took a deep breath and said, “You can eat if you’d like, but first, you have to answer a few questions.”
“Mhm.” Gu Qiqi’s eyes lit up, nodding her head like a chick pecking at rice, but then she lowered her head, secretly observing Luxianbei’s expression while mumbling softly, “Some questions I can’t answer.”
Although she was very eager to eat, she didn’t want to sell the system out; that was her principle.
Luxianbei pondered for a few seconds and replied nonchalantly, “I understand. If it involves violating your principles, you don’t have to answer.”
With the conditions lightened, Gu Qiqi’s face brightened, “Okay! Good!”
According to the system, it was a huge success if calamity made even the slightest compromise.
Luxianbei slightly nodded and asked, “First question, what’s your name, and how do you know me?”
To confirm whether his memories had any deviations.
Gu Qiqi was taken aback and looked surprised.
Why is calamity asking such questions? Is there some kind of routine?
“I… I’m Gu Qiqi, we know each other from school, Huacheng University.”
Worried that calamity’s questions hid some nasty traps, Gu Qiqi deliberately omitted a lot of details in her answer.
This is a lie!
According to the development in the dream memory, they clearly didn’t know each other at Huacheng University! Luxianbei thought.
“Second question, are you a ghost?”
“How is that possible!”
“Then why can’t others see you?”
“I… I…” Gu Qiqi opened her mouth and struggled for a long time, finally saying with a cry of grievance, “I don’t know either!”
This seems to be the truth? Luxianbei pondered for a moment before continuing, “In your eyes, am I male or female?”
Although in the dream memory, he indeed had the strange ability to turn into a witch at night.
But memories can be deceiving.
Gu Qiqi froze and looked at Luxianbei with a puzzled expression, her gaze slowly lowering, finally stopping at his chest, then glancing at her own chest.
It seems…
Aside from size differences, there isn’t much of a difference, so he should be female, right? Gu Qiqi thought.
Actually, she had always been curious whether calamity was a boy or a girl, but when she asked the system, it replied, “It depends on her mood.”
Noticing the change in Gu Qiqi’s expression, Luxianbei understood, “Alright, you don’t have to say, I already know.”
Though he knew, he still didn’t want to hear someone firmly yet somewhat excitedly say, “Of course, you are a girl!” …Luxianbei internally complained.
“Then… why did you just say you love me?”
Gu Qiqi was momentarily taken aback, appearing troubled, “This… can I not say it?”
This question involved the system, and even if calamity was fickle, she couldn’t say anything under severe questioning!
“Alright!” Luxianbei nodded, “Then, do you know who Jiang Li is? Or do you recognize her?”
“Umm…” Gu Qiqi looked at his expression and said quietly, “Jiang Li is an agent of the Huacheng Siye Society! I know her, but I don’t know her personally.”
Strange, why is Luxianbei asking me this when he seems so familiar with her?
Huacheng Siye Society… Luxianbei nodded thoughtfully, “Last question, why were you following me? How did you end up in my home?”
As soon as the words fell, Gu Qiqi’s face flushed, stammering, “I wanted… I wanted…”
“Wanted?”
“I wanted to mooch a meal!”
“Is it that simple, just to mooch a meal?”
Gu Qiqi shrank her neck like a startled little beast, “Uh, if it’s okay, I also want to stay for the night…”
Halfway through, Gu Qiqi paused, worried that Luxianbei would refuse, and hurriedly added, “Just for one night, I’ll leave first thing in the morning.”
After filling her stomach and resting for a night, she would continue looking for the system and her brother.
“How do you know I would feed you and let you stay?” Luxianbei pressed on.
“You just said that was the last question, didn’t you?”
Luxianbei frowned, “…”
If you call her smart, she seems foolish, but if you call her foolish, she suddenly becomes clever at times like this…
————
“Knock, knock—knock, knock—!”
A knock at the door came, along with a shout from outside.
“Hello, McD delivery!”
“Creek—!”
“Thank you.”
Luxianbei opened the door just a crack, reaching out to grab the takeout the delivery man handed over, swiftly shutting the door before the delivery man noticed any anomalies inside.
Carrying several buckets of fried chicken, he returned to the living room, cleared a space on the coffee table to set down the food, then sat down opposite Gu Qiqi.
Smelling the aroma wafting from the takeout bag, Gu Qiqi, who had seemed lifeless moments ago, suddenly became invigorated, stretching her neck like a giraffe.
“Luxianbei, thank you, you’re such a good person!”
Gu Qiqi said with a beaming smile, but while she was speaking, she noticed Luxianbei’s cold, expressionless face and suddenly felt that something was off, her smile gradually freezing.
Luxianbei seemingly had no intention of loosening her bindings.
“Aren’t you… going to let me go?”
Luxianbei glanced at Gu Qiqi from the side and said calmly, “You think it’s that easy? I only said I would feed you; I never said I would untie you!”
Knowing a person’s face but not their heart, although you speak nicely and seem harmless, who knows if your cute exterior hides something incomprehensibly terrifying inside?
If I loosen the bindings, you might not eat chicken wings, but turn around and eat me instead!
To play it safe, it’s better to keep you tied up, Luxianbei thought.
Gu Qiqi looked between Luxianbei and the bucket of fried chicken on the table, weakly saying, “But if you tie me up, how can I eat?”
“No worry, I can feed you; of course, if you mind being hungry, that’s fine too,” Luxianbei said expressionlessly.
Gu Qiqi replied without thinking, “I don’t mind, as long as I can eat, I don’t mind anything!”
While saying this, her eyes sparkled, bobbing her head like a spoiled little kitten waiting to be fed.
Luxianbei pressed her eager head back down, “Don’t rush. Since I promised to feed you, I will, but before that, you still need to do one thing…”
Before he could finish, seeing Gu Qiqi’s eyes glued to the takeout bucket, completely fixated on the food rather than his words, Luxianbei rolled his eyes and then pulled out a drumstick, holding it in one hand, dangling it in front of Gu Qiqi.
Smelling the fried chicken, Gu Qiqi’s nose twitched as she stretched her neck. Her pink tongue, like a soft and agile little snake, licked on the crispy, golden fried chicken skin several times, yet she still couldn’t actually bite into it, her eyes growing increasingly anxious.
In the end, she chose to compromise.
“Then, what do you want me to do? Quickly say it!”
Luxianbei, “…” Where’s your dignity? Your modesty and self-respect? Like this, falling into someone else’s hands, you know that’ll land you in trouble, right?
Although Luxianbei still couldn’t confirm if Gu Qiqi was dangerous.
One thing he was sure of was that this girl was ready to sell her soul in front of food.
Luxianbei had no doubt that all he had to do was dangle a drumstick in front of her using a stick and some thread, and she would run dozens of kilometers away as if a carrot was hung in front of a mule.
Putting down the chicken leg, Luxianbei turned to go to his bedroom, returning with a cell phone, a piece of paper, a pen, and an inkpad, and sat back down in front of Gu Qiqi.
“Before I feed you, you need to sign a declaration proving that you are voluntarily staying at my home, and that I am not holding you hostage.”
“Given that others might not be able to see you or hear you, I will try to record a video first. If neither your figure nor your voice can be captured, it will be presented in written form.”
This was something Luxianbei suddenly thought of when the delivery man came earlier.
Even though others couldn’t see Gu Qiqi and she was only staying for one night, it was still best to draft a declaration just in case.
If a neighbor or someone else noticed something amiss and called the police, having this statement would at least prevent him from being charged with violent illegal detention.
Plus… he could also learn a bit more. Luxianbei thought quietly.
Although he felt that doing this might be a bit excessive for Gu Qiqi, Luxianbei had a vague sense that she seemed to have done something worse in the past.
For example, poisoning stuff.
And this ambiguous feeling came from that strange dream…
Gu Qiqi looked at Luxianbei, irritated, “But this is lying! I was originally being…”
“Would you prefer to lie or eat?” Luxianbei interrupted, his expression merciless.
“I… I…” Gu Qiqi’s chest rose and fell for a moment, and as her hunger surged, she deflated, “I want to eat.”
“Then you write the statement!”
“Oh…” Gu Qiqi replied weakly.
Luxianbei nodded with satisfaction, picked up the paper and pen, and wrote for a while, lifting it in front of her, saying coldly, “Read what’s on there.”
As he spoke, he opened the recording mode on his phone, aiming it at Gu Qiqi.
As expected, her figure didn’t appear in the frame, and he was unsure if her voice could be recorded.
Gu Qiqi pouted, looked over the text on the paper, and began to read slowly, “I, Gu Qiqi, ID number, uh, long horizontal line…”
“What long horizontal line?” Luxianbei lightly tapped her head, “That’s where you need to fill in your ID number!”
“Say your ID number, and I’ll fill it in for you later.”
“Oh oh!” Gu Qiqi nodded, “510… 29.”
Luxianbei filled in Gu Qiqi’s ID number in the blank space and held the paper in front of her, “Let’s start over.”
“I, Gu Qiqi, ID number, 510… 29, solemnly declare that my appearance in Luxianbei’s home is not due to being violently detained by him, but is happening during, during… what does this letter game mean?”
“Young lady, don’t ask what you shouldn’t!”
“Oh…”
————
Just as Luxianbei had predicted, the phone did not manage to capture Gu Qiqi’s figure or her voice, but fortunately, she was able to touch the inkpad and successfully left her fingerprint on the declaration.
No image can be left, but a fingerprint can, what does this mean?
Gu Qiqi’s existence lies somewhere between half-virtual and half-real?
Isn’t that a ghost?
Luxianbei shook his head, clearing his mind of such thoughts, then carefully tucked away the declaration before starting to feed Gu Qiqi.
Only at this moment did he realize how hungry Gu Qiqi was and how much she could eat.
A whole fried chicken leg reached her mouth, and within five seconds, it was nothing but bones left.
Not even a shred of meat remained, making one want to exclaim, “Huacheng has skilled ventriloquists, thus the emperor does not attend court early.”
An hour later.
Watching the petite figure devour five buckets of fried chicken and prepare for the sixth, Luxianbei couldn’t help but ask, “Don’t you feel stuffed?”
“I’ve been hungry for several days, hehe!” Gu Qiqi smiled shyly and continued to dig in.
Luxianbei rolled his eyes, “You say you’re this hungry, why didn’t you think of a way to get something to eat first? After all, others can’t see you.”
If it were me and others couldn’t see me, I would have put on a bunny girl outfit and roamed around the library (NOT). Luxianbei thought.
For a moment, Gu Qiqi looked at him with her mouth slightly open, her eyes wide in disbelief.
“You mean… go steal something? Even if others can’t see me, that doesn’t mean I can steal! Taking without asking is stealing and is not allowed!”
“Sorry…”
Under Gu Qiqi’s pure gaze, which seemed to burn into his soul, Luxianbei felt his cheeks flush, raised his hand to cover his forehead, and instinctively shielded his eyes, feeling at a loss for words.
————
Moments later.
“Click—!”
While Luxianbei was feeding Gu Qiqi, the sound of the door lock turning suddenly rang out without warning.
The door opened.
A voice came from outside, belonging to Nanling Yaohua.
“Xiao Bei, are you up? Haven’t had dinner yet? Grandpa made some braised pork tonight, and I warmed it up and brought it over.”
Upon hearing this, Luxianbei’s body stiffened slightly, turning to look towards the door, his mind going blank…
