Chapter 152: Go Check on Her
“Last night, I met the Gate of Truth…”
I struggled to calm myself down, shoving aside the overwhelming unease and fear deep within. I spoke to Victoria in a stuttering manner about the chaotic events of the previous night. I told her that the folks from the Gate of Truth had launched a suicidal attack, obliterating themselves with Infernal Fire. By that time, my mind was already foggy; the details of what followed were hazy, and I stumbled my way home in a daze.
That’s all I could tell her.
Once I finished, a wave of anxiety washed over me, because I was lying… or rather, hiding the truth. The chaos of last night was intense, with Sin Fire turning houses into bonfires, and the entire street shrouded in thick smoke. The Dead Smoke didn’t seem so apparent by comparison. But I wasn’t sure if anyone had witnessed everything from start to finish. Back then, I was completely indifferent to the notion of “exposing my identity.”
But things were different now. I was worried about the possibility of a civilian seeing my form cloaked in Dead Smoke. I was worried to the point of dread. What if someone reported it to Victoria? She would definitely want to know what was going on. I couldn’t explain anything to her; Victoria was too sharp, too clever. She would pick up on things that others wouldn’t, and me? I had no confidence in my ability to hoodwink her.
Victoria didn’t ask anything.
After listening, she fell silent for a moment, then gently nodded at me. “I understand.”
She then stood up and walked toward the bedroom door. Her icy response caught me off guard.
“Victoria…”
I unconsciously called her name, and she halted, turning back to quietly await my next words.
But I didn’t know what to say. After a moment of hesitation, I sheepishly muttered, “Your hair is messy…”
“I know,” she replied, resuming her walk.
I quickly added, “Wait, Cataloma—”
Just as I uttered the name, Victoria seemed to sense my thoughts and immediately interrupted the rest of my sentence.
“Rect is investigating. You should rest. I’ll tell you the updates in the afternoon.”
I gave a gentle shake of my head. “I want to go…”
“Rest.”
With a loud bang, the door slammed shut.
Victoria left the bedroom, and silence enveloped the room.
I stared at the ceiling, lost in thought.
…That woman, seriously.
She completely disregards what others are feeling. She doesn’t even know how to be nice… her administering medicine kind of freaked me out; it was totally uncharacteristic of Victoria… I mean, leave that sort of thing to the maid! Doesn’t she care about her own time? Why waste it on this?
Victoria… maybe she’s surprisingly clueless in certain ways.
Is the Queen human too?
Tick-tock, tick-tock.
The only sound was the gentle ticking of the clock.
After a while, I shifted to the edge of the bed, slowly got out, and steadied myself against the wall, wobbling and staggered as I made my way to the bathroom—time to tackle this delicate issue.
After switching to a new sanitary pad, I lay back down on the bed, nicely covered by the blanket.
I really wanted to head over to Cataloma to check on things… but I felt dizzy, and my body had no strength.
I needed to rest.
Usually, I’d push through under normal circumstances! But today…
“Haah—”
I let out a soft sigh, feeling a bit feverish.
I was feeling awful, that long-lost “sick feeling” spread all over me; there was nothing I could do today… nothing at all…
No, it’s just that I’m scared.
I’m scared of myself from last night.
I have a very clear memory now. I recognize how terrifying I was back then.
But what frightens me even more is that I didn’t realize just how terrifying I was at the time.
That wasn’t some so-called “rampage,” turning into a mindless, berserk shell. Back then, I had a very clear consciousness and thought process; my memory wasn’t muddled. I knew perfectly well what I was doing—I was simply following a strong desire for destruction deep in my heart, wanting to k*ll. Not just the heretics; I wanted to take out others too, to k*ll as many people as possible. I wanted it so very much.
And this desire… or emotion, is something I remember vividly, but I don’t know where it came from. That terrifying, uncontrollable urge erupted from my heart as if it had burst forth, carrying an extreme, twisted hatred that engulfed me in an instant.
That kind of deep-rooted hatred… absolutely couldn’t be solely due to the events that occurred three years ago in the Valen Empire. I recall that time vividly, and now Edward is dead… this hatred isn’t mine.
Is it due to the influence of the Abyss? Because I’ve suppressed myself for so long…
I don’t know. But I’m incredibly afraid of turning into that version of myself again; really scared. I can’t tell anyone about this.
No one can discuss this with me; I can only bear it alone… until my body recovers, I can’t risk making any moves.
So for today… I’ll rely on Victoria to worry. With her around, nothing should go wrong.
I don’t want to think about what happened last night.
But Abe’s behavior was really strange; he might… be somewhat connected to the Gate of Truth.
I don’t really believe he’s one of them, even though when I first met him, he was just a little thieving rascal trying to mug me… but he’s not the kind of person to hurt others; he just wants to survive. However, with last night’s events, I understand that Abe… and the Cataloma Orphanage must be linked to the Gate of Truth.
Otherwise, how could a lonely child’s note be leaked? Nobody would care about it at all.
He definitely knows something… something the heretics don’t want me to know.
Thinking of this made me worry about him a bit. If only I had been able to properly interrogate those heretics last night… wait a minute, that note…
Suddenly, my eyes widened.
Who knew Abe had given me a note… it was only…
“Victoria…”
I forced myself out of bed, battling the dizziness and nausea, and staggered to the bedroom door. With a creak, I pushed it open, taking a deep breath, using all my strength to shout, “Victoria—!”
I hoped she hadn’t left yet.
“Victoria!”
“…Ugh—!”
Giving it my all only made me feel worse, and my head spun more.
One step, two steps… how hard is it to go down a set of stairs? You can do it, Pope Knight Silvya…
But reality isn’t a comic; sheer willpower doesn’t reinforce a weak body. I barely made it down ten steps when my legs gave way, and with a crash, I tumbled down.
“…Oof!”
A cry of despair escaped me.
I fell down the stairs, feeling pain all over, my vision filled with stars.
…That hurts.
“Victoria…” I murmured softly like a prayer.
No one answered.
Victoria might have gone back to her home… or even to the Royal Palace. But no matter what, I had to crawl to deliver the message to her…
“…What are you doing?”
Cold yet beautiful words echoed in my ears. My heart jumped in delight, and I struggled to open my eyes… I saw the stunning visage I had imagined.
Victoria was still here; she bent down and helped me up.
“Weren’t you supposed to be resting?”
She remarked, but at that moment, that was the least of my concerns.
I struggled to speak, “Teresa… it’s Teresa… she’s the only one who knows… go check on her…”
