Chapter Seventy-Six: If I Were Still a Man
“Duke Lex has been captured and is now my prisoner, but I won’t underestimate him. He’s a rather cautious fellow, especially skilled in psychological warfare. The assassination plot in the royal palace isn’t simple; Duke Lex is afraid of d*ath, or else he wouldn’t be so frantic. If I hadn’t gained the support of the Leikmon family, if the Church wasn’t looming over me like a mountain, if it weren’t for…”
At this point, Victoria paused thoughtfully.
Then she sighed softly, “If my mother hadn’t died to prove her innocence. Given his past behavior, he wouldn’t have shown his face so quickly. He’d still be hiding in Flerske Castle, plotting how to make me disappear silently—dying with no relation to him, and framing the whole thing on someone else.”
Yeah, seriously…
Thinking back on what had happened before.
The previous king’s accident, the ascension of the Regent Empress, the Little Prince’s d*ath, the scar on Victoria, the disaster in the royal city, the Empress’s d*ath, the Gate of Truth… Everything sounds like it has nothing to do with the Clive Family.
The previous king was killed by the Empress, the Little Prince was poisoned by Victoria’s uncle, the disaster in the royal city was caused by Teresa, and the Empress took her own life, consumed by hatred that she could never unleash and a weakness buried deep within. She was a failed usurper. People called her foolish, selfish, and paranoid, even not trusting her own daughter, resorting to all means to achieve her goals—even colluding with heretics…
Even someone like me, who knows the inside story, wouldn’t understand how the Clive Family was involved if Victoria hadn’t explained it to me. They’ve distanced themselves so cleanly, masters of the art of using others as pawns. Aside from hiring assassins—which anyone with money can do—the Clive Family… or rather, Old Duke really did nothing at all, leaving no handles to grasp, not even a whisper to hold on to.
But in the end, they were the ones who benefited.
The king died, power scattered, the Regent Empress hurriedly took the throne, but she was a northern woman who hated the royal family to the bone; she would only accelerate their decline, completing the task of making Ethanbel’s strongest army—the Iron Guard—like putty in someone else’s hands before dying, even taking the blame for others.
k*ll by undermining one’s psyche.
Things like this will always remain unknown to the uninformed. Even if someone guesses, they wouldn’t dare speak out, only hiding it in their hearts. This is why everyone fears the Clive Family. Because they can’t outsmart them—once played with them, they couldn’t win.
By the time Victoria ascended the throne, it would all be too late; the enemy’s power would be solidified, far beyond the control of any king.
To Victoria, Old Duke was a terrifying opponent, one she had to tackle with all her strength.
“If I can be killed, losing the royal city of Boswell, those high walls and city gates will mean nothing to him. The royal family will no longer have anyone to block his path. We would lose our glory, lose our dignity, lose everything from the past and present, and our future would be marked on the shame pillar of the kingdom’s history. I would become the most incompetent king in Ethanbel’s history, as they will fabricate a reasonable excuse for the coup. This is the inevitable outcome, and it’s what Duke Lex desires the most.”
Victoria gathered her golden hair behind her head, a pale arm draping over the edge of the bed, the hem of her robe teasingly riding up to reveal her long, slender legs.
It seemed she was speaking to me, yet perhaps to herself, gazing into the distant lights outside the window. Seeing this, I thought a moment, turned to pull up the blankets, covering her legs gently, and gave them a light pat.
I felt a bit uncomfortable, weighed down with sadness—especially after hearing her speak so blandly.
Because what she said about the future wasn’t entirely implausible.
Victoria was facing off against a man of deep cunning, an expert in scheming, strategic thinking, immensely patient, bold, meticulous, and ambitious.
If I didn’t understand his ruling philosophy, if I hadn’t heard that clueless and oblivious fat commander talk about tax reforms back at home, if I hadn’t come to the royal city, met, and recognized Victoria—if I were just far away, hearing tales of such a person, I’d probably admire him.
He was indeed a remarkable figure.
But that’s as far as it went; he wasn’t even close to being a true tyrant, let alone a respected king leading Ethanbel and its people into a bright future.
Some individuals in high places invest their energies in developing advantageous areas, tackling national-level issues, and alleviating suffering for their people, teaching them the merit of hard work, striving to improve their lot in life—like Victoria.
Then there are others who, after grasping power, hoard wealth and exploit to their heart’s content. They are unambitious, don’t build anything, and simply resort to violence. They break rules and markets, leaving the people in misery, and are perpetually aloof, never willing to look down at the ground beneath them.
Old Duke clearly isn’t of the first category. As for whether he belongs to the second… while I’m not privy to his castle’s specifics, I can imagine what he’s done.
Every incident I know of is filled with slaughter and devastation; violence and oppression seem to be his forte, completely disregarding the tenets of rules. Over the years, his expansions of power have come at the kingdom’s expense, hindering urban development. His family has no bottom line for profit, actually aiding Teresa—ultimately wiping out the Divine Reliquary, which protected the royal city for hundreds of years—Boswell.
Had the Divine Reliquary remained, no matter how powerful his Iron Guard became, they couldn’t have shaken this millennium-old city. I even think this might have been one reason the Clive Family was willing to silently assist Teresa.
This man has no regard for the world but himself.
He might succeed as a tyrant in chaotic times, but he’s ill-suited for the peaceful era the kingdom enjoys now. If he were to take the throne, what would Ethanbel look like then? How would such a majestic city fall into chaos under his rule? And how would people’s lives ultimately turn out? I can already envision it.
The last couple of days, while bored, I’ve been hitting the sack early every night. Lying in bed, I found myself drifting into random thoughts, sometimes spiraling down this rabbit hole.
The more I pondered, the more detestable these people seemed.
Click, click.
I frowned, biting my nails, quietly listening to Victoria’s words.
She said, “But he ultimately can’t keep going this way. He’s anxious, trying to seize the moment while the Church’s attention is fixated on Silgaya and the Abyss. He wants to take advantage of Boswell’s disappearance, while the Iron Guard is still willing to listen to him, to k*ll me at all costs and take the royal city. He’s panicking; when people are anxious, they become rushed, improvising under pressure without considering all aspects, overlooking critical information and making mistakes—which is why he’ll fail this time.”
“Still, I don’t believe Duke Lex would easily hand over the initiative to me; it’s not that simple. He must have considered contingency plans post-failure. The Clive Family still has his eldest son—a more brutal, rational madman than Duke Lex. Old Leikmon might underestimate him, but I will not… Without the restraints of Duke Lex, they might pull off something bolder and more unexpected. I might also have to consider the Gate of Truth and those lurking enemies… They must be intent on taking the royal city. There’s no other option… but if I were them, what would I do…”
As she spoke, it seemed like Victoria was talking to herself.
I furrowed my brow even deeper: “The Abyss is coming. Margaret said that canyon, the War Chariots could reach it in three days. It’s close to here. If…”
I thought for a moment and didn’t continue.
I definitely didn’t want to jinx it; the royal city hadn’t recovered from the last disaster, and those whose homes had been destroyed still hadn’t found new places to live. The people remained fearful, and such events could not happen again.
But Victoria understood what I meant.
I continued, “Clearly, the most terrifying enemy is right in front of us. Why aren’t these people paying attention… Why do they still have the energy to do these things… The eggshell is already gone, everything used to be fine… If the defenses of the royal city are further weakened, if the Abyss is powerful, then everyone is in danger… Aren’t they afraid…”
My sporadic words were just complaints, and I understood the reasons behind them.
“Because to those people, the Abyss is not the enemy; I am.”
Victoria reached out to stroke my head.
In her calm, emotionless tone lurked complex feelings.
“Perhaps after they conquer the palace, then they’ll start considering this issue. Until then, what happens here, the safety of the people, and how it impacts Ethanbel will be outside their considerations. They might even hope I d*e in the fight against the Abyss; the Iron Guard’s delayed appearance might just be because of this.”
So I got it.
People often become blind due to the temptations of immediate benefits, opportunities, and situations… becoming foolish and selfish, reckless, or perhaps they just are that kind of person.
But why should it be this way…
Why should these scoundrels be audacious enough to target the true king who has bled for the royal city at such a time… They were reckless even during Victoria’s birthday banquet, yet Victoria is the hero. Why do they think they could…
What contributions have they made to this country…
I felt terribly frustrated, a lump of pent-up anger stuck inside me. But I wasn’t a citizen of this country, nor was I a noble here. I belonged to another realm’s royal family; there were things I couldn’t do and could only watch.
…But there are still things I can do, and I will do my best.
“No matter what, the royal city will be fully prepared,” Victoria said.
“The Iron Guard cannot besiege the city unless they have three hundred thousand men. Clean-up work around the city has begun; I will gather as many troops as possible from nearby villages and pastures within a limited timeframe. Grain, livestock… we’ll bring everything back to the royal city; if we can’t bring it back, we’ll burn it on the spot, leaving them no usable resources. If they truly want to attack, I will force them to raid the walls, push them to their doom, and compel them to make more mistakes…”
Victoria held my hair, her fingers scratching at my scalp while her expression remained calm.
“Currently, the garrison in the city has twelve thousand infantry, two thousand cavalry, two thousand archers, over two hundred knights, and more than three thousand Horned Horses ready for battle, plus the Sword of Kanli… Old Leikmon has nearly spared no effort supporting this; he has mobilized all of his men. A few other lords wrote letters, but their support might not arrive in time… But that’s fine; defending the city is sufficient.”
A flicker of cold light sparkled in her eyes: “Although I still don’t know where they are hiding, nor what they are plotting, I can confirm one thing: the Clive Family is definitely anxious. No matter what they plan to do, they are more anxious than I am; I will make them increasingly so… Just wait; the news might just come tomorrow.”
Victoria gave me a couple of light pats on the head, withdrew her hand, and turned to extinguish the candles on the nightstand.
The room dimmed slightly.
“But none of this is your concern; get some rest.”
“Mm…”
I gazed at her profile and smiled sweetly.
Victoria was particularly talkative tonight; she never used to share these things with me… Perhaps it was due to what happened in the bathhouse, or perhaps… there were worries of which I was unaware lying in her heart, prompting her to speak as if she were building her own confidence.
“Viki.”
“What is it?”
“You will definitely win. Whether it’s the Abyss or the Iron Guard. There’s no enemy that can defeat you, defeat us. If they dare come, we will just beat them to a pulp!”
Victoria smiled lightly, offering no response, just gently caressing my face.
“Sleep,” she said.
The night had grown deep.
Lying in the strange bed, inhaling the familiar fragrance from the pillow, I caught a glimpse of her exquisite beauty wreathed in golden silk in the dim light; she lay quietly, eyes closed, facing me, her breathing steady.
I lay face to face with her, my dark eyes wide open, staring unblinkingly at her.
At that moment, Victoria seemed so peacefully fragile, evoking a sense of protectiveness.
I just kept watching her, feeling an inexplicable sense of calm. Whether it was the Abyss or the chaotic power surging within me, or those inexplicably terrifying nightmares, I felt like I was no longer afraid of anything.
I found myself wishing that if only I were still a man.
If it were so, maybe I would really love her, willing to use my life to protect her, staying by her side peacefully for life, wholeheartedly supporting her until d*ath or old age.
But…
If I were still a man, Victoria certainly wouldn’t love me, right?
Destiny really loves to tease people, doesn’t it?
I continued watching until drowsiness hit, my eyelids began to fight, and my consciousness slowly blurred.
Sleep…
In a daze, I felt a hand gently rest on my waist.
