Chapter Fifty-Three: The Desolate (Part Two)
“You say, am I really that stupid…?”
The man sat at the table, a faint smile still lingering on his face when he asked this question, but there was an indescribable sorrow in his brows.
I had never seen him show such an expression before.
In my past impressions, this man always appeared casual, carefree, as if he hardly cared about anything at all. Yet when he actually took action, he proved to be more reliable than anyone else.
Because he is Carlos.
He is silver lightning, Carlos Gonzalez, the Stroller of the Abyss, a hero in the eyes of countless people. He’s a charming swordsman, possessing skills beyond what most could hope to attain, and a heart that is upright and frank. He exudes confidence at all times, never doubting himself even for a moment.
But now…
After he said such a thing… no, perhaps I realized it when I first met him tonight, when I caught a whiff of alcohol on his breath.
This man named Carlos seemed to have lost something within himself.
Maybe it was his confidence.
It was as if suddenly, this once striking figure in my eyes, a powerful and righteous Pope Knight, had become just an ordinary, inconspicuous man.
Carlos had lost his confidence.
Or perhaps…
He had lost much more.
I suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for him, as if someone had seized my chest and tightened their grip.
[Because I have so much to do…]
Suddenly, the words he once said to me flashed through my mind again.
[My teacher has spent his life establishing a heart for the heavens and the earth, and a destiny for the people. Now he’s seventy years old and still stands by the weak…]
[I want to be someone like him.]
At that time, he was so gallant, so full of spirit, his eyes shining with a brilliance that was hard to gaze upon. How much I wanted to become like him! But now, looking at Carlos’s face, weathered and dejected, with scruffy whiskers curling up, his eyes still lazy, yet filled only with the blur and confusion after drunkenness.
What an incredible man he is…
Only a year has passed…
What on earth has he gone through to become like this…
I thought to myself, trying to maintain my composure.
But in the next moment, the words that slipped from his lips were as if they were the answer.
“About the end of last year… I was in Eastern Helich City when I received news from the Western Continent. That epic battle… in the final conflict with the Heretics, someone unleashed a terrifying Infernal Fire Demon… Ha, at the time I couldn’t quite fathom what that so-called Infernal Demon was… but they told me that you… had died in that war…”
I heard a slight shiver in Carlos’s magnetic voice: “You vanquished that demon and saved countless lives. Everyone regards you as a great hero of humanity, yet you… never emerged from that raging sea of flames… all I heard was this…”
“I… I thought…”
It was as if he tried to hide something, raising his hand to rub his forehead, his hand trembling, cracked lips slightly parted, his bright blue eyes boring into me, the whites slightly bloodshot, glowing red in the firelight.
“I thought… after that, I would never see you again…”
The man was still smiling.
He slowly reached his trembling hand toward me, as if to take off the veil from my face or maybe to gently pat my head like before.
He had never smiled as much as he did tonight.
Nor had he ever made me feel so heartbroken.
His smile disarmed all my defenses.
Suddenly, I felt like throwing myself at him.
I wanted to punch him squarely on that prominent nose, making him bleed profusely.
I wanted to wake Carlos up with a solid fist and loudly question him about why he had to say all that nonsense, why he had to drink like that, and why he couldn’t just be like he used to, unrestrained and capable of handling everything, and why, after this hard-won reunion, I had to see him like this, so dejected!
I didn’t want to see him like this anymore!!
I’m still not dead!!!
All those words in my heart nearly erupted from my lips.
However, emotions swirled around in a turbulent sea in my chest, and the moment they surged up to my brain, that blazing fire swiftly extinguished.
I quickly calmed myself, tilting my head back sharply to avoid the man’s outstretched hand. The ripples stirred within me were forcefully quelled.
Carlos’s hand froze in midair.
“Little Shay…”
“Carlos.”
We almost spoke in unison, but I really didn’t want to hear him say those words anymore. My tone was firm and resolute, interrupting him: “What were you all doing here?”
Perhaps what he just shared was true… heartfelt words…
But then again…
Maybe he was a brilliant liar like Angel?
I couldn’t be sure.
I wanted to trust him, but I just couldn’t be certain… because judging by Carlos’s earlier rambling, seemingly going off on a tangent, he definitely knew about what happened last year in the Eastern Continent.
He was already aware that Angel betrayed me.
Carlos was drunk.
He wasn’t really a man of many words, and in his inebriated state, he spoke even more chaotically, but his intent was clear. He hadn’t lost his train of thought; he was just trying to tell me that Angel had deceived him as well.
It was a complete twist of fate that Carlos unexpectedly saw me tonight. He thought I was dead, maybe drinking was part of the coping mechanism, but that wasn’t the entire story.
Because the truth is, I had “died” almost a year ago.
And Carlos had known about this for half a year now.
For six months, had he just been stuck in…
Stuck in that kind of emotional turmoil, unable to escape, resorting to drinking as a way to cope?
Clearly, that wasn’t the case.
Because not long ago, he was with that red-haired lady, along with two other companions… one of whom was Fat Grandma, and the other… well, we all know who that is by now. There were four of them in total, who not too long ago went to a cave in the west, slaying most of the lizards there—they certainly didn’t do that just to hunt lizards.
At that time, Carlos should at least not have been in this current state.
He was still getting things done.
Maybe he was still taking care of some business now.
And that business…
Could it be related to me?
For instance…
They might have found out that I was still alive, so they came to look for me.
They had even made it to Meiser Town.
They were almost about to find me.
And now, Carlos and that woman had indeed found me.
If that were the case, what was their purpose in finding me, and where did the information come from, who instructed them…
I was completely unaware.
But I already had another theory forming in my mind…
Now that Carlos had seen me and realized I was still alive, initially astonished and unable to react, he hadn’t dared to approach me rashly. He didn’t know I had lost my strength, nor could he just grab me directly in the town, so he chose to shadow me from afar… until he figured out a strategy.
Then, he began to cautiously engage me in conversation.
Carlos is smart; he always has been.
He didn’t display any signs of shock or panic in trying to explain things to me. All the way, he just made small talk, throwing out random bits of chatter, trying to get a grasp of my thoughts, while I remained silent. He seemed at a loss, not daring to act rashly, and then attempted to revert to the old method, which was also the one he considered most effective—
By offering me something delicious to win me over.
Afterward, I naturally obliged him by coming here.
And now, bluntly speaking, he had chosen to play the pity card with me.
Carlos is truly clever.
He first claimed that Angel was his brother… whether that’s true, I don’t know, and I don’t want to ask. I didn’t want to hear anything more about that person. Carlos seemed to grasp this; he knows me too well and isn’t afraid of making me angry because he had already thought of a counterpoint…
The twist was in what he later implied.
Though not spelled out, he essentially wanted to convey that Angel had deceived him too.
He and I are the same; we are both fools tricked by others.
That was the stance he wanted to convey to me.
When Carlos presented this stance, it allowed us to align ourselves, narrowing the distance between us… which, indeed, was evident. Just a moment ago, I nearly lost control of my emotions.
His pity play had worked.
He knew exactly what words would resonate with me, making me drop all my guards in an instant… What did he want to do next?
I had no idea.
But I had to be on guard.
Especially with Carlos, who truly knew me too well…
It’s just a pity…
I am no longer the me of the past.
I wouldn’t easily trust anyone anymore.
I didn’t want to think of him this way… I didn’t want to see people in such a dark light…
But…
It’s not impossible either.
It’s not impossible…
The flicker of light in my eyes dimmed for a moment. When I realized the crux of the issue, I lifted my head beneath the flickering candle flame and locked eyes with Carlos once again, and the complex emotions in my heart had vanished. My face showed only a cold, resolute expression as before.
“Tell me, what are you all doing?”
I rested my hands on my chin, and after saying this, I fell silent, observing the changes in the man’s expression with a scrutinizing gaze.
I caught a fleeting glimpse of surprise in his eyes.
But before I could think further, that flicker of surprise quickly softened.
Carlos withdrew his frozen hand.
He continued to smile at me, yet that smile finally showed a hint of sadness, or perhaps a sigh. A waft of alcohol mixed with that emotion came over me.
“Is it no longer Kakarot or whatever…?”
The man suddenly said something that left me a bit stunned.
What…
It took me two seconds to realize what he was referring to.
In that moment, inexplicably, my heart ached anew, and my breath grew slightly rapid.
“How nice, Little Shay…”
“You’ve grown up.”
The swordsman before me said this.
And I suddenly found myself unable to meet his gaze anymore.
