Chapter 99: Rebirth (Part 8)
The cold wind howled, scattering loose yellow sand, while dark clouds slowly drifted across the land. Sunlight peeked through the gaps in the sky like the occasional fireworks bursting in bright red from the gray heights, and the rushing knights with their beastly steeds began to converge more and more in the vicinity…
However, when Bishop Aresta shouted that command, everyone looked at each other in shock and hesitation. No one immediately rushed towards that sword-wielding man, who was covered in wounds.
“Hey…”
“What’s going on…?”
“Are we really going to do this…?”
“But he’s Carlos Gonzalez…”
Confused voices echoed from the wasteland. The bewildered Captain of Knights stood almost directly across from Carlos, at the closest distance possible. The moment he heard the command, he instinctively took a few steps forward but then abruptly stopped, his mind buzzing and a complete mess.
Compared to the captain, many newly arrived knights looked even more lost. They hadn’t figured out what was going on; they only realized they seemed to be preparing to take action against the Pope Knight.
This was no laughing matter.
Even if it was a critical moment for everyone, they rushed over to understand what had happened, why the miracle had suddenly ceased. Yet, even with all that pressure, suddenly hearing that they would act against a Pope Knight left these “Grail Elite”—who were accustomed to unwaveringly executing orders—at a total loss.
Time ticked away in chaos.
One second, two seconds passed…
No one made the first move.
Seeing this situation, Aresta’s face turned red with anger as he shouted from atop his beast, “What’s going on! Didn’t you hear my command?! Grail Elite! Don’t forget your duty! Time is of the essence, obey my orders! Otherwise, I’ll process you per the Church Knight Code! Severely!”
His voice sounded frantic, prompting many knights to glance back, their eyes filled with disbelief, shock, and fear. They recognized that the bishop was issuing a d*ath order, but even so, no one dared to charge forward for a long time.
It wasn’t that they were afraid of the opponent.
The warriors were simply completely bewildered. Being staunch believers in justice and strength, they felt an intrinsic resistance against laying hands on a Pope Knight.
Aresta’s hands shook with fury.
d*mn it…
Just one more step to go.
Do we really need to wait for that old Sword Saint to return!!!
He opened his mouth to shout something more, but suddenly a cleric leaned in, whispering a few words in his ear. Aresta’s expression fluctuated, but after hearing it, his brow relaxed a bit.
“My brave knights, please always remember! No matter who stands before you, your duty is to remain loyal to the Church, and to protect the people of God at all costs—”
The young bishop’s voice echoed over the wasteland once more. However, this time, it sounded less anxious and emotional, taking on an air of righteous authority: “And now, you see the situation before you! That, floating in the sky, is the Divine Fire Seed stolen from the Holy Church in the year 800! It is the miracle bestowed upon humanity by the deities, the most sacred symbol of faith power!”
“The seed has been stolen by heretics for centuries! Those demons have turned the great miracle into a tool for evil, a source of sinful power! And your duty is to recover it completely, return it to the Church, and to our great deities! It is a glorious yet arduous task!”
He continued, quickly shifting the tone: “But now, someone stands in your way—”
“Even if he is a Pope Knight, so what! What you are about to do is to end evil completely and purify the great divine fire, restoring peace to the world! It is a noble mission endowed by the deities! If anyone stands in your way, they are the enemy of the divine, a tainted person who has strayed onto the wrong path, half a foot in the Abyss! No matter who they are or what their status, they must be taken to the Church court and face justice!”
“O warriors of the First Knights Order, let your sense of justice drive you to raise your blades and display the glory that belongs to warriors! The Church will remember your steadfastness and bravery, and your commander will know that your choices today will bring brilliant honor to the Grail Elite! I, in the name of the Rossius family, assure you!”
In those impassioned shouts, some were still confused, some hesitant, but others, wrapped in the cold wind, began to gradually find their conviction.
Then, from Aresta’s side, a sacred golden light suddenly flared, and the few clerics with him began to chant in unison. The buzz of the miracle trembled in the wind, and the young bishop, bathed in the flowing light, shouted the order for the First Knights Order to charge.
“Honor is in my heart, faith exists with me, justice becomes the sword, defending our achievements and my glory! Knights of the divine breaking the darkness—!!”
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh—
The sharp winds howled as several holy lances shot from Aresta’s golden aura, flying towards Carlos, the sword-wielding man.
“Join me in punishing the enemies of the Holy Light!”
The holy lances soared over the heads and eyes of countless knights, and at that moment, the injured and silent swordsman finally moved. With lightning flashing around him, he didn’t make any significant movements; he just sidestepped a few times, changing his steps to easily avoid the fierce assault, his gaze fixed intently on the young bishop’s figure.
That look sent a chill down many spines.
Buzz—
But in the next instant, a figure, amidst the humming of the miracle, wrapped in golden light, flashed behind the swordsman. The captain’s expression slightly froze as he recognized the cleric, Larix, who had been standing beside him moments ago.
“You just…”
Larix raised his right hand, a white blade of light condensing from his palm, bringing the wind as he swung down, “That hurt a bit! Mr. Carlos—”
Zing!
In the blink of an eye, shocking lightning surged wildly around Carlos. Countless blue arcs shot out like serpents, striking the translucent shield protecting Larix, bouncing off completely. The light blade came swinging straight for Carlos’s neck, but the man was quick on the uptake; he didn’t dodge, extending his left hand to grab Larix’s wrist.
“How about we do this again?”
Swish—
Larix’s mind couldn’t keep up with the swordsman’s speed. He didn’t even have time to resist or evade before being flung away again, crashing hard several meters away. Carlos bent his knees, his long sword swirling in his right hand with the force of a tempest, then clanged as he blocked a sword strike coming from his side.
Peering over, he met the resolute and fierce gaze of the captain beneath his helmet.
“An order is an order. Sorry, Mr. Carlos…”
Empty…
Ah, I just can’t write anything satisfying today. I thought about it and decided not to force a chapter update; my state isn’t great, so I’ll take it easy today.
Honestly, there’s nothing else to do tonight, and I’m sitting here in front of the computer with a blank mind, wanting to play a game to change my mood, but I can’t even get into it. I feel completely exhausted, but I can’t sleep either. It’s that nerve-wracked state again, and it’s been like this for the past few days. I can’t focus on anything, thinking I should take a break, yet I’m anxious about wasting time, going back and forth, feeling increasingly melancholic.
So I thought, if I can’t write and can’t sleep, I might as well say something.
Just rambling, really.
If you don’t want to waste time like me, feel free to close this; I can assure you, this volume will wrap up quickly. Pepé will be making an appearance soon, so I’ll finish this transition chapter efficiently without dragging it out—of course, I won’t just throw things together; I’ll clarify what’s necessary.
Um…
And I have to seriously tell everyone that because I often stay up late writing, I’ve seen many people in a similar situation. They stay up late and don’t know if they can catch up on sleep during the day, but regardless they still end up sleeping late again.
What I want to convey to you is that if you keep staying up late like this without necessity, you should stop immediately. Change your schedule: sleep on time and wake up on time to ensure you get enough rest, or one day you’ll regret it. I’m serious about this.
I’m probably older than many of you, having graduated several years ago.
My habit of staying up late likely started in college. Back then, my dorm housed two guitarists and two street dancers—one of whom was me; I also played the piano—and others who sang beautifully. Everyone was multi-talented and loved to have fun, forming a great atmosphere where we would chat after lights out at 11:30, strumming guitars and singing until dawn, frequently doing this.
At one point, our dorm was even considered the harmonious model for the whole building since other dorms often had at least one or two people who didn’t fit in or fought often, or simply didn’t share the same interests, while we had a fantastic vibe and even drew others in after their lights went out to join us every night.
Everyone was very happy.
But that led to the bad habit of staying up late and getting up early.
After graduation, we went our separate ways. I joined the workforce and later started my own business. As my tasks piled up, stresses grew, and the busier I got, staying up late stopped being a bad habit and instead turned into a routine, a mentality of “I’m working harder than my peers.” While others were sleeping, I was still working and doing things. I felt smug about averaging just 4.5 hours of sleep for nearly a year.
I can’t say I regret it now.
After all, during that time, I did get the rewards I deserved.
But insomnia was something that has always been with me since.
Speaking of insomnia, many people might not really empathize. They think that even though I stay up late, I still manage to sleep whenever I want, just not wanting to. They contend that staying up all night doesn’t trouble them, as they can still muster the energy for the next day if needed. They might think, “I’m perfectly fine!”—I used to think that way and acted accordingly.
But not anymore.
Especially recently, insomnia has impacted me greatly—saying this might sound harmless, but for the last couple of months, it’s been an endless cycle of sleeplessness and working or writing late at night, being sleepy during the day, yet even when I have the time to sleep, I still can’t fall asleep. Or when I genuinely don’t have time, I’m so sleepy I can hardly keep my eyes open. Even when I manage to sleep well at night, waking up after eight hours can still leave me groggy, yawning over breakfast, battling eyelids, desperate for sleep—yet still unable to.
Last year, I saw a doctor for this, took some medication and rested, which helped for a bit. But recently it has flared up again, and this condition has intensified over the past two weeks.
After I had a lapse yesterday, I thought about resting all day to recover and be ready for a double update today. But the truth was, the night before, I was exhausted quite early due to a lack of sleep, and by 11:30, my eyelids started drooping. Yet even in that state of sleepiness, I only managed to get under four hours before waking up after 3 AM and couldn’t for the life of me get back to sleep.
But it’s fine; I still had a day to adjust my routine.
So yesterday, I didn’t feel drowsy in the morning. I got a bit sleepy around noon, tried to take a nap, but couldn’t fall asleep. I gave that up and decided to force myself to stay awake, aiming for an early night, so I’d naturally wake up at a good time. But by 6 PM, I was so sleepy sitting there that I lost awareness for a bit, feeling fuzzy for an hour—wasn’t sure if I was actually sleeping. I managed to stay awake till night, but then only slept till after 3 AM, unable to close my eyes again.
I was clearly exhausted.
Yet I just couldn’t fall asleep.
That state—I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced it—I’m really frustrated.
This morning, wanting to catch up on sleep but still unable to, I started writing, but after a bit, I wasn’t even sure what I was typing; my mind was blank.
By 9 AM, feeling I couldn’t keep writing, I thought about catching a nap.
Nope, couldn’t sleep.
At 2 PM, I drove out and lost consciousness on the highway, dozing off briefly.
Thankfully, nothing happened.
I got off the highway and parked, managing to sneak in an hour’s sleep.
By 4 PM at home, I sat in front of the computer, typed a few lines, and then sleepiness hit me again, my mind going blank.
So, I napped another hour.
I thought I wouldn’t be able to do the double update today, but at least I’d rested and could possibly write one chapter, right?
Then, I still couldn’t write; my mind was still foggy.
Still wanted to sleep.
But sleep wouldn’t come.
What an absolute pain…
That feeling is different from writer’s block; writer’s block is about not knowing how to develop the plot and needing to think carefully about the direction. But I have a very detailed outline, I know what comes next, I just can’t get into the characters’ heads—I’m not writing a novel or telling a story; I’m just mechanically typing out text after text.
In this mental state, I can’t truly immerse myself in the story or the emotions of each character and what they’re doing.
In addition to insomnia, it likely also relates to various other things going on in my life.
A new wave of the pandemic has broken out, which puts tremendous pressure on my team and work.
The mental pressure and operational pressure.
I hope we, the amazing Chinese people, can withstand this once again. I hope every single person’s life and every matter can endure these hardships and find a way to move forward, relying on the powerful and dependable strength of our country.
Even with such thoughts and absolute confidence in our nation, the pressure remains overwhelming and inescapable.
This is, besides insomnia, one of the reasons affecting my writing and perhaps contributing to my insomnia worsening.
There’s also something else.
Some readers, even my editor, Xiao Lu, may already know that I’m preparing for a major milestone in life—marriage.
Maybe not too soon.
But unavoidable nonetheless.
While it’s something to be happy about, it sometimes affects my writing, and I can’t help it.
Trying to adjust my mindset amidst all this turbulence and fully immerse myself in Pepé’s world while I write is quite challenging.
I won’t give up on writing.
But finding a balance will require time—I’d love to adjust quickly and maintain a good state going forward. No matter how big the issues are, they shouldn’t interfere with my writing— I hope to achieve that soon.
And I especially want to present those fantastic worlds and people you all take an interest in; that seems to be my true wish, and it will always be.
That won’t change, right?
Just sometimes, I wish I could master three-headed, six-armed abilities or maybe a shadow clone jutsu—one me to grind away at work, another to handle trivial matters, a third writing diligently every day, writing ten thousand words, and one that’s probably the real me, just playing games at home while the clones keep busy?
I did once dream something like that.
That would be nice.
But it doesn’t work, so I just compress my sleep time—so back to the earlier topic about staying up late. You can see the consequences. Most of the time, I have to do it, but if you don’t have to, please sleep well. Otherwise, at a certain age, you might end up facing severe issues just like me.
Disrupted sleep patterns, biological clocks tossed around chaotically.
Trust me; you don’t want to experience that helpless feeling.
So please don’t stay up late aimlessly!
Ha, today was another day of rambling.
Well…
Since I’ve gotten this far, let me bring up one last thing.
The comic adaptation of “Abyss” should be launching soon…
Um, it should be soon.
If all goes well, very soon.
I’ll leave it at that.
Let’s see if I can get to sleep on time tonight, so I don’t wake up again at dawn… If I rest well, tomorrow will be a double update; I don’t have much else to do.
Thanks to everyone who has been following along and waiting for updates; I feel a bit guilty toward you all.
And thanks to everyone who enjoys this book; your support is indeed what motivates me to keep writing. I’ve been less involved in discussions lately, but I still read all the important plots, reviews, comments, and everyone’s discussions and arguments—every single one.
I want to write truly good works, not just this book “Abyss.” Time will prove that. I will work hard; writing novels is truly what brings me joy.
That’s all.
Xiyu.
