### Chapter One: Emptiness
In the early year of 1189, on the Eastern Coast.
As the sun began its descent, the dim yellow light stretched across the uneven buildings and alleyways.
The climate at Nogowai Sea Port hadn’t fully warmed yet; a damp chill lingered in the air. But due to the lack of snow here year-round, it was nowhere near as brutal as a winter in the Valen Empire. As night approached, the vibrant street was alive with noise, the towering purple trees along the road sprouting buds, their branches adorned with many nail-sized white flower buds.
Spring was on its way.
Ships were coming and going more frequently at the port, with a returning fleet gathering near the dock. Seagulls stood in rows on the masts, watching, while the calls of fishermen echoed nearby. Dock workers bustled about, and disputes sometimes erupted, causing a wave of chaos and shouting.
Ding, ding, ding—
Before long, the bell tower towering at the back of the harbor chimed, and as the harmonious bell sounds traveled far, lights began to sparkle among the scattered buildings along the extended streets. The shallow tide lapped at the coast, wave after wave splashing against the wooden beams of the dock, soaking the pant legs of passing sailors heading to board.
“…Miss, I agreed to let you on board, but even if you’ve paid your coins, you’ll have to help with some chores,” grumbled the sailmaster at the front, looking to be in his forties, his face square and rough-skinned, a prominent scar under his left eye. He spoke sternly to the short figure beside him, tightly wrapped in a gray cloak, his serious tone making him a bit intimidating.
“Listen up, the Nogowai cargo ships don’t take freeloaders; it’s a rule. We small boats never pay for crew. Since you want to board, you’ll have to work hard. There are plenty of travelers ready to pay more; I took pity on you being all alone without support. But even if others come, they’ll have to work too—only clergymen and prostitutes get a free pass. Got it?”
The man rambled on as the small figure beside him softly hummed in response, the sound like that of a young girl, “mm,” but said nothing more. She followed the sailmaster onto the ship, her curious eyes peering out from beneath her hood as they arrived on deck.
At this moment, the last sliver of sun dipped below the horizon, the clouds danced like a swan, and the trees along the coast cast flickering shadows. The port city in the distance glittered like stars, reflecting on the sea surface. The ship’s cargo was loaded before darkness fell, busy figures darting around on deck, as more passengers continued to board. The girl walked alongside the sailmaster toward the cabin, her small hand peeking out from beneath her cloak, resting gently on the wooden railing of the ship, gazing at the glittering reflections on the sea.
“Looking at that skinny little thing of yours, I doubt you can do any heavy work…” the sailmaster continued, “you couldn’t pull a rope, let alone manage a rudder. You probably haven’t even touched a winch; even the smallest cargo box could squash you… Hey, little girl, tell me what you can do? Know how to use a bow?”
As the man turned his head, he frowned down at the girl who could barely reach his chest, then saw her slowly shake her head, making him a bit frustrated: “No bow skills, huh? Well, that figures.”
He scratched his sparse hair, thinking for a moment before waving his hand dismissively: “Forget it. You can help clean the deck. When there’s nothing to do, you can deliver food and wash dishes. Just be quick about it; I don’t want anyone saying I brought a freeloader aboard… Hey, you there! Wait a minute!”
He suddenly called out to someone, rushing off to chat like he was giving last-minute travel instructions. The girl stood by, quietly waiting. Soon enough, the distant conversation seemed to refer to her, with fragmented speech drifting over.
“A strange little girl, no idea how she ended up here. She said she’s going to the Western Continent… yeah, probably saw the ship getting ready to leave and came on her own. Just her, looking for family…”
“…Saw her on the roadside, gnawing on a piece of dry bread. Figured she looked pitiful, so I brought her along… She seemed pretty defenseless. If I didn’t help, she’d be dead here soon… Better to save one than let her be taken by those Nedlin Gang bastards…”
Once the chatter wrapped up, the sailmaster returned with a smile, exchanged a few casual words with the girl, and led her to the ship’s rear. Descending the deck, they reached the furthest cabin. He pushed the door open and said, “This is the crew’s quarters; it might be a bit dirty and messy. We’re a cargo ship, after all, and we don’t have a place for passengers. No need to be picky, not like those men sleep in cabins anyway… Just stay here for now. Once the ship sets sail, someone will tell you what to do.”
As the girl stepped into the cramped, damp cabin, the sailmaster left her to it, shutting the door behind him. Alone, she settled down cross-legged among the messy bedrolls. The air inside was musty and stale; there were no windows or tables, yet she didn’t seem to mind. Pulling back her hood, her silky black hair spilled out, revealing a face that seemed completely out of place in the shabby surroundings, like a delicate princess from a castle.
Pope Knight, Hilvigia Rabithermos.
Or perhaps the Duke’s daughter from Shanter Castle, Peilo Guniver Winter Moon.
“Whew—”
The girl tilted her head back, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.
Finally…
I’m going back.
As that thought popped into her head, her heart didn’t truly feel anything clear yet. Maybe even if it did have some clarity, it was hard to stir up any real emotion.
I unfastened the bundle tied around my waist and laid it out in front of me, revealing scattered copper and silver coins—not much, mostly emerald coins from Silgaya—with a shiny gold coin mixed in. The gold coin had never been spent; I planned to buy the most famous pastries here, but whenever I dared to pull it out in the bustling towns of the Eastern Continent, some nosy character would inevitably try something funny, turning the situation into chaos.
So to avoid trouble, I ended up only buying the cheapest dry bread to nibble on.
Then, there were the clothes on my back. The cloak and all—made from the cheapest fabric by a kind old lady. I specifically instructed her to make it larger, covering my whole body. For a few copper coins, I got this outfit, ensuring I would go unnoticed. I could stroll by the clerics without a care, and even if I ran into one, it was never a problem—no need to worry, I could prance right past them.
Only the Nedlin Gang kept their eyes on me.
So all this money I had was taken from those guys.
After leaving Eborista, almost every new town I visited at night led me to cross paths with the Nedlin Gang, and after enough times, I pieced together the locations of a couple of their hideouts. Bored, I went there, took out their leaders, saved no fewer than a hundred poor women in the process, and even burned down their Lotus Seed Grass warehouse.
It seemed the disappearance of the Gate of Truth had hit the Nedlin Gang hard. They’d lost most of their channels and sales routes, with a ton of goods piled in their warehouse, right when I burned it all down—after that, the number of smugglers transporting Lotus Seed Grass from the Eastern Continent to Silgaya would likely drop significantly.
Guess I’ve done a bit of good.
Camping out and roaming without a care—last year’s second half, that was essentially my life.
I hadn’t completely ruled out going back to the Western Continent after all; I could easily find a ship at Nogowai to take me away—such a simple action. Just cross the sea, reach the Western Continent, and I could think about the rest later. After all, with my current skills, I could go pretty much wherever I wanted on land, no need for a war chariot.
But I hesitated, fearing problems would arise.
It wasn’t because of the church.
The main reason was—I still wasn’t quite sure if, after emerging from my chrysalis and shattering the will of the Goddess half a year ago, I was truly still the same me.
It was hard to reignite any strong emotions.
Happiness, sadness, pain, anger…
I hadn’t felt any of those in months.
Even when seeing women tormented by the Nedlin Gang, beaten to the point of being almost unrecognizable or on the brink of d*ath, I couldn’t muster sadness or pity for their misfortunes. Even facing the abusers, I didn’t feel much anger; I could easily toss them aside.
Sometimes, on solitary nights, I thought of the wars in the Valen Empire, recalled the faces of my mother and father in the castle, and pictured Queen Victoria, who was likely still in the royal city, moving in and out of grand palaces each day. I wondered if the estate now known as Vilo Garden was completed and if the honey fruit trees I wanted had grown taller than me by now. When I recalled these things, my heart never stirred with intense emotion.
I felt like I’d lost all normal human feelings.
I became a puppet with strings, driven only by reason.
Who knows when I might become dangerous.
I couldn’t predict if, upon awakening tomorrow, this state of awareness would shift further—transforming from emotional indifference into something cold and unfeeling. I worried I might cease to understand the bonds between people, that I could become another Ailna, indulging in slaughter for my goals.
So reason told me I wasn’t ready to return to the Western Continent.
Naturally, I didn’t have much desire to return either, as even the longing that once filled me had dwindled.
I often didn’t dare step into the bustling cities, preferring to remain in desolate places unless hunger struck.
The girl who used to talk to me in my mind, the red-eyed, white-haired girl, was the will of the Abyss birthed from torturous experimentation. She was the splintered essence of Peilo, eroded by the Abyss’s power, allowing the Peilo that had forgotten those three years of memory to stay conscious.
But that existence, too, was wiped out in the clash with the will of sin, completely merging into the colossal mental whirlpool of the deity, becoming part of my current self.
It was as if all disarray melted away.
Over the past six months, I had no desire to see anyone, aimlessly wandering about as if I were above the masses, occasionally…
Believing I was a deity.
