**Chapter Six: Goodbye Viki (Part Two)**
Is it fun to tease me?
What a nutjob.
I turned my head away and looked out the window, genuinely not wanting to deal with her anymore.
Never seen such a boring Her Majesty the Queen…
“Are you angry?”
I heard her question and snorted, “No.”
“You are angry.”
And just like that, a question turned into a statement.
“I’m not angry.”
Honestly, I wasn’t angry—if it were before, I probably would have exploded with rage—but now, I felt calm. It was just that this woman was so dull; she was stunningly beautiful yet such a j*rk. At a time like this, instead of doing something productive, she chose to come over and mess with me. Her twisted sense of humor was as low as Carlos’s—no, in some ways, it was even worse than that mustachioed scoundrel…
“You’re cursing me in your mind.”
“……”
…What’s infuriating is that she’s really sharp; nothing seems to escape her notice. Every time, she manages to toy with me, and even in this state, I still feel like a n*ked little lamb being exposed in front of her. That sense of vulnerability, stark and bare, has nothing to do with my emotions.
“Not long ago, I talked to your father.”
“……”
“About your whereabouts in the past two years. He casually mentioned a few things and brought up some changes in you… well, he had comments on both what has and hasn’t changed. Your father trusts me very much; we’ve talked about you before.”
“……”
Look, look.
It’s that feeling of being led around by the nose.
I had clearly decided not to engage with her anymore, intending to respond to whatever she said with silence or half-hearted replies. Yet this woman could quickly sense this change in me and, in no time flat, find the topic that bothered me the most—it’s as if she has mind-reading skills, forcing me to dance to her tune.
After saying that, she turned and walked toward the window, standing there gazing outside. That ethereal figure in pure white appeared in front of me once again without me even realizing it.
“…So?” After hesitating for a moment, I couldn’t help but respond.
This really was the thing I cared about the most right now.
Ever since that day back in the town, when I saved my father and noticed that complicated look in his eyes, I started unconsciously avoiding contact with both him and my mother.
My mother is straightforward, but my father is not. After returning to Baihao City, the two of them must have talked about me privately. I fear they might slowly come to think that I’m no longer the pure and kind Peilo of Shanter Castle.
I worry they’ll think I’m something else.
After all…
In their eyes, I’ve already “died” twice.
And about the Church’s “experiments,” they might not have known before, but now, they’ve probably heard something… My father isn’t dumb; he must be able to guess some connections.
I dread seeing that look in his eyes again.
That look of doubt about who I am.
This “fear” might not exactly be an emotion, but I’m certainly avoiding things intentionally—like not wanting to seek out Viki; I’ve made all sorts of excuses. The main reason, though, is that she knows so much more than my father does. Her thoughts are so thorough that there are just too many things I can’t hide from her.
But…
I don’t want Viki to look at me like my father does.
I haven’t figured out how to handle these matters.
So I’m just hiding.
Hiding…
Yet I desperately want to know my father’s true feelings.
And Viki, perhaps she has already figured all this out.
“Your father loves you very much, Pepe.”
Her Majesty said to me, “He loves you and knows you better than I do. He watched you grow up. The news of your d*ath two years ago hit him hard. Seeing you alive again is the most important and happiest thing for him. I can see that; anyone can see that.”
She paused.
Closing the window, she turned back to me, her gaze now full of authority and solemnity: “But most importantly, Pepe, do you see it?”
“Mm.” I nodded.
What she said, of course, I had already understood—
“You see it, and yet you hide from him?”
Her Majesty’s calm words suddenly left me stunned.
“I can guess what you’re thinking; I understand what you’re afraid of. Pepe, you’ve always been smart, but you often do foolish things that shock people. Do you know how your father told me?”
Before I could reply, Victoria continued, “He believes you’re intentionally distancing yourself from him, and your mother, Lady Catherine. Your behavior these days suggests you’re avoiding both of them; even where you sleep at night, no one knows. If we’re not careful, a whole day can go by without seeing you.”
“You make them feel like, although their daughter has returned, she might leave them again at any moment. Your concerns and worries keep them on edge. They want to communicate with you, to understand what’s really happened, but you keep hiding from them, leaving them helpless and even more anxious because of the impending war.”
“Your father thinks you might just disappear today or tomorrow after everything is over… He’s terrified of that happening, but he’s hesitant to even ask you. Pepe, please tell me, would you really do that?”
“……”
I had no words.
This time, I was genuinely at a loss for words.
The bedroom fell silent for a moment.
“I’m not blaming you for anything, Pepe.”
When Her Majesty spoke again, her tone softened a little.
“I just want to tell you something. Your father, your mother, and I—all of us know you well. We recognize who you are, no matter how much you’ve changed, or even if you’re deliberately pretending to be someone else. No one has ever doubted your identity.”
“Your father recognizes his own daughter; it’s just that there are too many things making him lose his bearings, causing him disbelief. He doesn’t know how to communicate with you, doesn’t know what you’ve gone through to become who you are now. He may be the king of the Northern Region, soon to be the new Emperor of the Valen Empire, but beyond that, he’s just an ordinary father who doesn’t know how to comfort his hurt daughter, scared to touch on her pain. That’s all.”
She paused.
“How much of what you told your father is hidden and deceiving? Do you think he wouldn’t notice?”
“I—”
Ah.
So that’s why my father seemed hesitant to speak.
I suddenly understood a little.
The complex look in his eyes when he looked at me…
Why did I think he was doubting my identity?
Why did I worry about these things…
In the end, I was just simply “afraid”…
I…
“Do you remember the time at the Royal City mansion?”
Suddenly, a delightful fragrance wafted through.
Without me noticing, Victoria had returned to stand in front of me. She opened her arms and pulled me into an embrace, gently patting my head as if I were a small kitten.
I smelled that familiar scent and felt warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time.
“One night, you cried and told me, ‘I’m so scared, always so scared…’ You said you couldn’t control it and didn’t know what to do.”
“……”
I dutifully buried my face in her stomach, almost instinctively rubbing against her.
My mind recalled that night she mentioned; I seemed to have been curled up in her arms back then.
What was I feeling at that time?
I couldn’t remember.
“If you really feel scared, I hope you can talk to me again. Don’t keep everything bottled up inside. You have to understand, there are always a few people in this world who will love you unconditionally, no matter how you change.”
“Viki…”
I slowly closed my eyes.
I didn’t want to cry; I wasn’t feeling that way.
Just…
Suddenly, I felt relaxed.
