### Chapter 21: The Prick
These seemingly casual words were actually the well-planned “bombshell” from Fake Victoria, all fluffy and neatly tied up.
The only reason I slept with Viki was that I was afraid of loneliness; I wasn’t used to living alone. I mean, I liked to sleep with my mother at home too—so what’s the big deal about celebrating St. Brun’s Festival together?
It’s not like her little daughter has a boyfriend or anything. Celebrating a lively festival with a sister who’s “close and regarded as family” is perfectly normal, right?
“You think so too, don’t you, Pepé?”
When my father tossed that question back at me, he wore a smile and his eyes sparkled with warmth and friendliness, as if he were naturally nudging me to nod and say, “Yes.”
My father was expressing his stance…
At the same time, he was seeking my input.
So…
Viki had really spilled everything to them.
How could this be…
What in the world did she say?
Suddenly, I felt something brewing inside me.
At that moment, I should have felt angry.
Angry, or maybe confused.
I was suddenly confronted with this situation—totally unprepared for it. Just this morning, Viki had tricked me into believing she hadn’t told my mother…
I gazed into my father’s eyes, then glanced at my mother across the table, pretending to be unconcerned as she devoured her food, though I knew she was very much invested. And then there was the calm Queen Victoria sitting nearby. My mouth opened slightly, and for a moment, my thoughts jammed up.
Suddenly, my mind was jolted back to a memory that felt ages ago.
Back when the Longdall 2 and 3 estates hadn’t merged yet, I ran to find Viki because I was afraid at night. In that ambiguous and fragrant bathroom, she told me to wait until I grew a bit older.
[“Wait until you know what you truly like; then you can follow your heart…”]
I recalled her words.
Time flew, and that exchange happened over three years ago.
But I…
Had never seriously contemplated the answer to that question.
Even in this moment, I should have felt something—anger or panic, there should’ve been some kind of emotions, but I felt utterly blank.
“……”
I just stared at them. Watching their flickering faces under the candlelight, I couldn’t feel my true emotions, so I didn’t know how to react, or even what to say to them.
I couldn’t just placate my father with a simple head nod, even if it was a temporary excuse, because if I said “yes,” it would definitely hurt Viki’s feelings deeply.
And that was something I didn’t want to see happen.
But if I said no, it would only make things awkward for my father and mother.
They had clearly expressed their views on this matter: they hoped I would see Her Majesty the Queen only as a sister, and not pursue anything further.
And I didn’t want to see disappointment or helplessness in their faces.
After all, such things…
In this world, are hard to be accepted.
But more importantly…
I might never be able to ascertain my true feelings again.
Perhaps there would be no second chances for me.
As time ticked by, I observed my father’s smile slowly fading, and at last, my mother couldn’t help but look up. Her gaze fixated on my face, her expression shifting to shock, as if she couldn’t believe my hesitance.
And Viki…
I caught a glimmer of something sad flickering in her eyes.
Ah…
But if I didn’t say anything, wouldn’t it hurt… everyone involved?
What…
What should I do?
I really—
“She still can’t answer that.”
Suddenly, I heard Viki speak up.
In my peripheral vision, Her Majesty set down her kn*fe and fork, elegantly wiped her mouth with a napkin, and casually shot me a glance. Then she turned to face my father and mother, her gaze bright and steady like shimmering stars.
“Lady Catherine, Your Highness Skarlij, I think there may have been a misunderstanding.”
She began, locking eyes with my mother: “I did indeed confide in Madam about my feelings concerning your daughter, but that was just my own… wishful thinking.”
I turned my head abruptly to look at Viki.
On her nearly perfect, indifferent, and calm profile, I couldn’t see what she was feeling at that moment. Even the flicker of sadness from before had completely vanished.
“From start to finish, I have never received her affirmation. Those were merely my sentiments. When I told the lady in Baihao City, it was because I saw her downcast and felt compassion for her. I wanted to help her sort through her feelings and express my stance regarding the Empire’s Northern Region and Shanter Castle.”
“I want you to understand that no matter what happens, I personally stand by your side without question.”
Her Majesty declared, and everyone listened closely.
At this moment, besides my increasingly bewildered Uncle Hoover, everyone knew precisely what she was saying.
The atmosphere at the dinner table grew a touch serious.
“I expressed my stance, but I never intended to use it as a threat. Those were just my feelings—what I wanted to do. It doesn’t depend on your attitudes or choices, nor does it concern whether she ultimately agrees to my proposition.”
She paused for a moment.
“I do not hold any expectations for this. I can tell that Pepé… seems rather different from me.” Her final words had a soft, airy quality, almost like a sigh.
Not the same kind of person…
Not the same…
And her voice echoed in my mind.
“So, you all don’t need to feel awkward.”
Her Majesty continued, looking at my father: “There’s no need to force her into making a decision; let things unfold naturally. What I seek is simply, during our rare free time, for her to come to visit me when she can, not forget me, and not drift away… I shared this with her in the Royal City, and it hasn’t changed. To me, that’s enough.”
“Sister—”
Suddenly, Fake Viki’s complexion shifted.
Perhaps because she had drunk a little, her eyes looked a tad red, as though she were on the verge of tears.
She called out, “Sister,” her lips pressed tightly, wanting to say something but was met with a cold glare from the Queen—one that clearly showed she was genuinely upset.
Fake Viki noticed it too; no matter how much emotion she was bottling up inside, she dared not say a word when Her Majesty was really angry. She hesitated for a moment, sulkily turning her head away.
“We’ve all been holding onto unrealistic fantasies, desperately waiting for this moment.”
Viki let out a breath: “Finally, we’ve managed to bring her back. Now that she’s home, and everything is nicely wrapped up, let’s try to make her feel as comfortable and happy as possible, without adding any more mental burdens or making things awkward for her.”
“Viki…”
You are none of my burdens.
Whatever happens, you will never be.
I wanted to tell her this.
But just then, Her Majesty waved her hand, interrupting me forcefully.
She served me a plate of bright green soup: “Eat.”
Then she frowned and scolded me: “Since just now, you’ve only been eating donuts.”
“……”
I looked into her beautiful eyes.
At that moment, it felt as if something inside me had been jolted awake.
That feeling was heavy.
A sting of pain.
