055. Drop the Pot and Break It?
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“Are you really a girl?”
Upon hearing this, Lin Nan on the bed froze for a moment.
He didn’t really know what Chen Yao meant by “girl.” Was it about his body or self-identity? Or was he just doubting that Lin Nan was messing with him?
Maybe he was overthinking it, but right now, he genuinely had no idea how to answer.
The dormitory was filled with an awkward atmosphere, and Chen Yao stood there, just as clueless.
He stared at Lin Nan, who was curled up like a burrito in blankets. After a long contemplation, he gingerly offered, “It’s okay; it’s not your fault. I’ll do my best to help you.”
“Mm.”
The response from under the blankets was muffled and low.
They fell silent again, and with a heavy sigh, Chen Yao plopped down in his seat, continuing to search the internet for that so-called intersex condition.
Honestly, when he first heard about it, he thought Lin Nan was just joking around. But that medical report didn’t seem fake at all.
Even if Lin Nan wasn’t exactly a model student, he wasn’t the type to forge a medical report as a prank. With all the debt he had, his mind was probably just focused on money… but could pretending to be a girl really fool anyone into giving him cash? Lin Nan definitely wasn’t that shameless, right?
As this thought crossed his mind, Chen Yao started to suspect that his understanding of Lin Nan might be a bit outdated.
After all, this was the guy who had tried to kiss him twice—who’s to say Lin Nan wasn’t just a boy at heart?
Thinking this, Chen Yao shivered a bit and glanced over at Lin Nan, who was staring back at him with big, watery eyes that looked like they were about to spill over.
“What’s up?” Chen Yao initially wanted to probe Lin Nan’s intentions, but as soon as he spoke, his tone softened.
“Can you help me boil some water…”
Under the weight of Lin Nan’s pleading gaze, Chen Yao defeatedly got up to boil the water instead of sticking to his principles.
Meanwhile, his mind was racing with questions.
If that red liquid in the bathroom really was Aunt Flo’s visit, where exactly was it leaking from Lin Nan? If memory served right, they had even raced lengths in the same bathroom back in middle school—there was no way Lin Nan had secretly undergone surgery during that time, right?
Lost in thought, Chen Yao didn’t notice the water boiling over, splashing onto his hand to snap him back to reality.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Lin Nan; when he first heard the news, he was utterly bewildered and instinctively considered booking a train ticket to see Lin Nan. But after calming down and reading up on some related topics, he started to think something wasn’t right.
The water quickly boiled, and after adding the brown sugar he had bought before, he stirred it into sweet tea before handing the cup to Lin Nan, who had been eagerly waiting.
Regardless of the truth, Lin Nan was clearly in pain.
“Honestly, getting another checkup isn’t that expensive. At least we can avoid scaring ourselves,” Chen Yao carefully suggested. “Let’s visit another hospital; we don’t need a full body check, just an abdominal ultrasound will do. A hundred or so bucks should cover it.”
He had done his homework, adding, “We need to confirm that your report isn’t a mix-up—like the doctor accidentally swapped yours with someone else’s, right?”
Lin Nan buried his head under the blanket, appearing hesitant.
Last time he went to the hospital alone, it was during the ultrasound when things got awkward—the doctor was dumbfounded to find Lin Nan’s internal structure was the same as a girl’s but listed his gender as male, and his development was more like a thirteen or fourteen-year-old girl, while his age was noted as eighteen.
Even if the doctor didn’t mention it much, Lin Nan felt utterly embarrassed.
“I’ll go with you the whole way, don’t worry,” Chen Yao reassured him.
But Lin Nan knew it was unlikely there had been a mistake in the test results, especially since the doctor had specifically asked about his gender and mentioned he had developmental delays, recommending him to see a specialist.
God knows how awkward Lin Nan felt at that moment.
“Whatever. Why would I lie to you?” Lin Nan sighed dramatically. “There’s no point in lying. I can’t even tell my parents or relatives.”
“….”
Chen Yao felt helpless: “But you can’t just go on like this forever!”
“Let’s take it one step at a time?” Lin Nan thought there might still be hope to return to being male. After all, even if his little buddy was out of commission, at least it still had the looks, offering a glimmer of hope.
“But—”
“There’s no ‘buts’!”
Lin Nan, already feeling irritable, couldn’t take Chen Yao’s incessant questioning anymore. He cut Chen Yao off angrily, shot him a glare, and flipped over, facing the wall, refusing to talk about it any further.
When he was just being harassed by Lilith, Lin Nan hated being recognized as a girl, being called “girly.” Now, he had grown used to the former but was unwilling to discuss any future plans.
What does “you can’t go on like this” even mean…? He didn’t want this either—this situation was unsolvable, and no matter how much he thought or discussed it, all he could do was passively accept it.
Perhaps due to Aunt Flo’s visit, Lin Nan’s mood was much worse than usual. He didn’t think too deeply—he just felt an overwhelming wave of injustice wash over him.
Why was he the one stuck in this situation? His life was supposed to follow a normal trajectory: graduate, date, marry and have kids. His parents were working hard to pave the way for his future…
The more he thought about it, the more upset he became, leading to a throbbing sensation in his nose and tears beginning to form.
Lin Nan never cried. Apart from the time he got scared on the Ferris wheel, the last time he shed tears was back in middle school when he was inexplicably bullied by some classmates. That time, for some reason, Chen Yao had stepped in, and from then on, he hadn’t cried again.
Noticing something was off with Lin Nan, Chen Yao fell silent for a moment before popping a cigarette into his mouth.
“This is really nerve-wracking for me too. We need to talk about the issue at hand instead of just avoiding it,” he said, knowing Lin Nan disliked cigarette smoke, only holding it without lighting up as he paced anxiously.
Chen Yao was never known for his patience; seeing Lin Nan not respond only made him more agitated. After pacing for a while, he kicked the door open and stormed out to the balcony to smoke.
The sound of the kicked door startled Lin Nan, making him hold back his tears. He cautiously peeked out of the blanket to see Chen Yao on the balcony, then quickly retreated, resignedly sighing into his cocoon of blankets.
“Maybe I should just embrace becoming a girl. Being stuck in limbo, neither here nor there, just ruins my mood.”
Lin Nan thought defiantly.
He took a casual glance at the magical powers he hadn’t unlocked yet, wiped his tears, took a deep breath, and suddenly flung the blanket off.
Time to find the quickest and easiest way to unlock something!
On the balcony, Chen Yao suddenly felt a shiver run down his spine, as if thunder had struck him. He looked around nervously, yet couldn’t pinpoint where the danger was coming from.
Could it be Lin Nan?