Dark Fantasy Normalized – Chapter 15

Ricir deeply bowed toward Idor in a sudden gesture.

Though unexpected, Idor was impressed by the series of manners displayed by Ricir.

Ricir had never been directly educated by a renowned etiquette instructor like other prestigious family’s children, nor had they engaged in robust interactions with other nobles.

Nevertheless, the etiquette that naturally emanated from Ricir’s demeanor was polished enough not to be considered wanting in the eyes of a noble family head.

It was the exact opposite of Loera, who, despite receiving training from one of the empire’s top etiquette teachers, had transformed from a spoiled girl into a wild horse.

Of course, that didn’t mean that Idor’s affection for his biological daughter would transfer to the bastard.

For nobles, lineage holds a unique significance.

It is the paramount element that grants their existence a special recognition in the world.

Idor was a man with the common values of nobility, and as his status was considerably elevated, those values were staunchly ingrained.

“Ricir.”

Idor, who held such beliefs, carefully looked at the bastard before him.

“Let’s sit for now.”

“I have nothing more to say to you, Lord.”

“Then just listen. Ricir, your achievements today were impressive. Although I regret that you chose the path of magic, there’s nothing we can do about that. I understand your feelings. Surely, you must have resented me for not passing on the Bendel style to you.”

“No, I don’t.”

“It’s alright. For this moment at least, I won’t hold it against you no matter what you say.”

“That’s not what I meant. To me, magic isn’t a substitute for Bendel style, nor a means to reflect on the fact that you didn’t pass it on to me.”

“…Then?”

“Magic was the first open path for me. Thus, I simply walked along it.”

“…”

Idor made an effort to manage his expression in response to Ricir’s answer.

He felt no trace of nostalgia for Bendel or its style in what Ricir said.

“I commend your effort. You achieved the best outcome within the circumstances given. To be frank, I didn’t think you’d win in the duel today.”

Tap, tap.

Idor tapped his chest lightly.

“Your achievement has surpassed my expectations and calculations.”

“…”

“You have proven your worth, and from now on, I intend to treat you accordingly. Think carefully, Ricir. Leaving the family is not a clever move. It’s merely a temporary escape. Consider who is sitting right in front of you.”

As the head of the renowned swordsmanship family, Bendel, he maintained an enviable physique even in middle age.

His eyes were steadfast, unwavering enough to not waver even if the tip of a sword brushed against his cornea.

And there was the unique charisma that emanates from a being who had reached a superhuman level.

Ricir was momentarily overwhelmed by that charisma.

He wished to raise both middle fingers and celebrate with flair, but he restrained himself.

Sitting in front of him was a monster capable of neatly splitting rocks with a twig.

“How long do you think it would take to gain recognition from someone like me after leaving the family? A month? Two months? Six months? A year? Ricir, the world waiting for you is not as soft as you expect. They will thoroughly ignore and look down upon you, who cannot confidently reveal your identity.”

“Are you speaking as you did back then?”

“I won’t deny it.”

“Was I not much different from an outsider of unknown origin in your eyes?”

“I won’t deny that either. But now it’s different. Now I will embrace you under the name of Bendel. Do you know why? Because you have proven your own worth. Don’t let the opportunity you have grasped slip away, Ricir.”

“…”

Ricir nodded.

“I will consider Lord’s words positively.”

It was a clean smile.

One that showed no signs of inner conflict, very tidy.

Idor realized.

The recognition and concern that Ricir had longed for had now become devoid of value to him.

Also, that fact would never change.

“…”

Idor’s attempt to actively continue the conversation was abruptly halted.

Ricir left the office without a trace of sentiment for Idor.

*

Having exited the head’s office, I immediately began to prepare to leave Bendel.

There was a sense of urgency, but there’s also that saying.

Leave when the applause is loudest.

The household had applauded for me, so it was only right that I took my leave.

“…Is this it?”

Having packed my things, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and let out a sigh of confusion.

Did I not just pack my things, but rather, had I packed up my whole life?

This feather-light feeling is indicative of something being discarded rather than loaded.

The culmination of my 18 years of life.

I felt relieved.

This weight was also proof that I had received nothing from this place.

Perhaps the people of Bendel had been discriminating against me all along, not as a personal affront, but to prevent me from harboring regrets when the moment to leave finally arrived.

Of course, if those words had come from Idor, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from throwing a barrage of insults back.

“…”

Before finally stepping out, I took one last look at the room.

Suddenly, memories of that day rushed back.

The first time I stepped into this room.

The day when innocent Loera had unknowingly pressed the triggers of young Ricir’s anxieties.

The day Loera had inflicted a lifelong scar on young Ricir.

The day Ricir had left an indelible wound on young Loera.

I was curious.

—Big brother, this…

The letter young Loera had handed me that day.

What was written in the letter that young Ricir had ripped into pieces?

…Was I thinking all this as I left the annex?

“…”

I found myself facing Loera, leaning awkwardly against the entrance of the annex.

“Oh, Loera!”

I greeted her cheerfully.

I couldn’t help but recall the image of her being the first one to applaud in the duel.

What if she hadn’t been a lady of Bendel?

People wouldn’t have dared to applaud for the victory of a bastard and the defeat of a Bendel squire.

I felt a deep gratitude toward Loera, who had given me a fond memory before leaving Bendel.

“What brings you here? I was just thinking about you!”

“…Damn it. What’s with that? It’s disgusting.”

Loera turned her head in distaste.

As if she would ignore me, but then—

“What happened?”

She shot a sideways glance at me, almost asking with disdain.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb. I know it was magic, the trick you used to take down Hemton in the duel.”

“Oh, that? Well, it just happened like that.”

“…”

Loera frowned, glaring at me with a scowl that suggested she had more to say but was overwhelmed by her frustrations.

Pfft.

Loera smirked, raising one corner of her mouth with her signature sarcasm.

“Must feel good? Got it to work just right.”

“Well, yeah. Thankfully, Hemton was caught off guard. But it’s not all luck. I made it so that Hemton would be—”

“Don’t play dumb. You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“…Huh? So what are you saying?”

“Hmph.”

Loera shook her head disdainfully.

Then she looked at the backpack slung over my shoulder and smirked again.

“How exactly did you pull that off? What kind of magic did you use for that guy, of all people, to be impressed by your magic and even reward you?”

“Reward? This?”

“Right. You’re transferring your stuff to the main building right now, aren’t you? Am I wrong?”

It dawned on me that Loera was misaligning her focus in the conversation.

She likely thought I arranged the duel to catch Idor’s interest and displayed hidden magic.

Now, she assumed I was delighted to have received acknowledgment from Idor.

But it wasn’t Loera’s fault.

Perhaps it was a misunderstanding arising from knowing me—ricir—too well.

In fact, if it were the old me, I would have been celebrating with joy at being recognized by Idor by now.

And Loera would have found that old me repulsive and couldn’t stand it.

“Why the face? Am I getting on your nerves? You’ve got a nice little high horse now, feeling all high and mighty after defeating someone like Hemton?”

Suddenly, a thought struck me.

Why does Loera look down on Ricir’s efforts to gain Idor’s attention so contemptuously?

Now that I think about it—

There was just one thing I could guess.

Maybe Loera too was in the same boat as me.

Perhaps she viewed the past Ricir through the same lens as I once did.

*

Looking back, ever since I was young, there was only one person in this household who cared for me, and that was Loera.

Before that incident happened…

No. That’s not quite right.

Loera continued to care for me even after that incident.

—Big brother… Are you alright?

—This…

The letter she had cried over and handed to me.

—Hey Ricir, cut it out, beg me instead.

—You. Go ahead and do that every day of the week. Do you think that person will even care? If your swordsmanship doesn’t improve, isn’t it all for nothing? So then, choose a more assured path.

—Isn’t that something you’re good at? Go ahead and beg. Try it on him. Who knows? Maybe your lovely younger sister, unlike him, will grant you guidance? Of course, it’s not the Bendel style you longed for.

Loera had tried to teach me swordsmanship in a sarcastic tone.

—…

She was the only one clapping when everyone else fell silent.

“If you’ve got something to say, just spit it out, alright? Think I’m scared of that glare? Wow, you’ve really gotten cocky since beating that loser Hemton, huh?”

After the duel, she was the first to come seek me out to talk.

Whether it was just me feeling it, she looked a little gleeful as well.

But at the same time, she also appeared somewhat frustrated.

Loera, whether in the past or present, had continuously shown me interest.

No matter how many times had passed, Loera treated me, unchanged.

The thing that had changed was—

That was me.

Ever since that day, I began to push Loera away.

-Didn’t you hear what the Lord said? You can’t play with a bastard like me anymore.

Whenever Loera showed kindness, I would shove it away as if I’d been waiting for it.

-…Leave.

-Time’s up.

I acted like a sulking child throwing a tantrum.

“How about we have a little duel? You don’t know how great your little sister is? I can guarantee you, if I taught you swordsmanship, you probably would’ve beaten Hemton without any of those cheap tricks.”

Loera was the only one in Bendel who indulged in Ricir’s tantrums.

It was probably unintentional. She might not even be aware of her actions.

Her sardonic attitude likely served as a defense mechanism.

Feigning indifference to avoid the fear of her kindness being refused.

Loera leaned closer to me.

As we got closer, the first thing I noticed was the small scar on her forehead.

Young Loera had always kept her hair stylishly short, claiming the bangs were bothersome.

But after getting hit by a book I threw, she started growing her bangs out.

Before I knew it, I reached out and touched that scar.

Loera gasped, startled, and tried to step back, but our eyes met, and she tensed up.

I said to her, “Did it hurt back then?”

“…!”

Loera’s face, which was laced with sarcasm, slowly contorted.

“What, what’s up all of a sudden…?”

“Right, I suddenly felt like apologizing. On a fine day like this. Or maybe, it’s this fine day that makes me want to apologize.”

“Damn it! Are you joking!? Are you begging for a few pennies to an outcast? Are you really saying that!? And what? Did it hurt? Are you seriously asking that, you idiot?!”

She seemed to be trying to control her temper.

But anyone could see she was about to cry.

“W-why are you saying sorry for putting a scar on a girl’s face? Did it really hurt that much? Are you trying to get back at me?!”

Her breathing quickened in an instant.

And her eyes began to glisten with tears.

I cautiously wiped Loera’s tears away and said, “I’m sorry.”

“…”

“I’m sorry, Loera. I shouldn’t have done that. Of all people, not to you.”

Loera violently brushed my hand away.

Her reddened eyes betrayed her attempts to dry her own tears.

“Y-you, you crazy bastard!!!”

What a spirited response.

“Why, why are you apologizing…!”

Loera hung her head and began to sob.

“What I did wrong… was my fault… not yours…”

“…”

“Back then… I was such a fool… I didn’t know what it meant to be a bastard… I never imagined it would hurt so much… I, of all people, shouldn’t have done that to you…”

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

Loera kept repeating that phrase, as if she was finally letting out everything she had stuffed inside.

I carefully approached her and patted her back.

“I wanted to say that all along…”

Loera buried her face in my chest and, with a muffled voice, said, “Big brother… no matter what anyone says, you are my brother…”