I am back – Chapter 106

I thought I’d be totally distracted when I entered the Movie Theater with my older sister, but surprise, surprise, that wasn’t the case.

It was just a movie she picked out on a whim, but it turned out to be pretty decent.

It may not have been a blockbuster made with loads of cash, but it was just a relaxing Korean film that you could watch while laughing. Seeing a popular actor from five years ago made me think that some things really don’t change.

Neither of us talked much. Even though we could have whispered closely and heard each other—well, doing that in a Movie Theater felt a bit too embarrassing.

When I glanced at my sister, she was just watching the movie with a relaxed expression.

She never once asked about what happened earlier. I was really grateful for that.

Someday… I wonder if I’d ever be able to talk about it. But I figured it wasn’t something I could bring up right now.

While munching on popcorn, our hands brushed against each other a few times. But, like in the movies, we didn’t hold hands or anything.

I couldn’t tell what my sister was feeling, but I was… a bit nervous. The grease from the popcorn likely got on my hands too. If I held her hand, she’d definitely feel the oil… and somehow, that might spoil the mood.

Since last week, we’d been on a string of dates, but it still felt like we were far from anything. Honestly, neither of us thought we were really dating. It was one of those complicated relationships that’s hard to describe simply.

Still, I was glad that she seemed comfortable with me by her side.

Whether we could fully go back to the past or not, for now, that comfort reminded me of the times we spent together.

*

When the movie ended and we stepped outside, the building was entirely dark.

In fact, there were still screenings left even after our time slot. So, while the Movie Theater still had its lights on, places like the Clothing Store in the same building had already closed.

We shared a quiet elevator ride down without exchanging a word.

There were enough people coming from the same screening to fill the elevator. We stood tightly in the corner, holding hands.

It felt okay, even with people around.

Just as I was thinking that, the doors opened.

“I’m sorry.”

We had been walking outside for a while when my sister abruptly spoke up.

“Huh?”

Her sudden apology caught me off guard, making my voice come out a bit odd as I responded. She then said in a soft voice,

“Yesterday and today, I’ve made you go home late like this…”

Hmm.

That was true. If I took the subway from now on, I would surely arrive home after the appointed time. Thankfully, it wasn’t after the last train had already left though.

Well, I could take a taxi if I missed the last subway. I wouldn’t have even thought to do that in the past, but now I had that option.

“It’s okay.”

But I knew she wasn’t really talking about that.

It was more about how tired I might feel.

Since my sister lived nearby, she could just go home and sleep right away. She arrived at the bakery earlier than me, so she could take it easier than I could, who had to ride the subway to get home. Especially right now, it would be a lot easier for her.

But I wished she wouldn’t think like that. I liked this moment.

Honestly, I wanted to stay up all night with her. But if that happened, I wouldn’t mind, but she definitely would get tired.

Sleeping together… not yet.

After starting to live with my colleagues, it had gotten less intense, and the intervals are longer now, but I still had irregular nights filled with fear. I didn’t want to show that side to her.

…Ah, I want to be with her, but I tricked myself into hiding so much.

Well, that’s how it was, so it was all good. Anyway, I wouldn’t be too tired just staying up a little late.

When I got home, my colleagues who hadn’t fallen asleep would still be waiting for me.

“No, but still…”

My sister, still holding my hand tightly, turned to face me. Then she took hold of my other hand as well.

“Still, if we’re together like this until late, it’ll be tiring.”

“…”

Her tone this time was a bit more firm. She must be that worried about me. I was grateful for her concern but…

“So, I was thinking…”

“Yes?”

I was nervously wondering if she was going to suggest we cut back on these late outings when she said,

“Next time, is it okay if I come to your neighborhood to hang out?”

“Huh?”

What my sister said completely caught me off guard.

Seeing me blink in surprise, she quickly lost confidence.

“U-uh, no. If you don’t want me to, then it’s fine.”

“N-no!”

Before she could deny it again, I hurriedly spoke up.

“No, it’s fine. Really.”

Honestly, I didn’t know much about my neighborhood. To be honest… it seemed like a place where rich people lived, but it didn’t feel particularly special at the same time.

There wasn’t an old market nearby, nor did I see any famous local eateries. Most of it was just chain restaurants, fast food places, or convenience stores and big discount stores. There were clothing stores, but they weren’t distinctive enough to mention… and more than that, they were way too high-end brands that made it burdensome to enter.

So, if you were to randomly point anywhere in the city of Seoul to show it, my neighborhood fit right in. Any noteworthy places seemed excessively expensive.

…That didn’t mean I didn’t have enough money to go to those places. I’d actually prefer to take my sister around and treat her to various things.

But I was sure she would feel burdened by that.

And if things went wrong, she might feel distance from me as well.

So for now, I couldn’t bring myself to invite her over…

“…”

Wait a minute.

If I kept hiding like this, it would never end.

I already had a mountain of things I couldn’t tell her.

Honestly, I wanted to just reveal that I was Siyun. And I wanted to share all the experiences of the last five years while nestled in her arms. I wanted to laugh and cry together.

But it’s just not possible yet. I was still struggling with whether I should ever tell her that fact.

So, I thought it might be better to slowly reveal things that are easier to show, one bit at a time.

By doing so, I could gradually get closer to her, until someday, I could really open up.

“Let’s go together sometime.”

When I answered with a smile, my sister’s face brightened immediately.

“But… would that be alright? If I come and go, it would take way longer than if I just hung out here.”

That’s true.

If I played around here, I’d only have to consider the time it took for me to return. But if my sister came over to my neighborhood after work, that would be a different story. We’d have to consider her traveling time too.

“Ah, well…”

My sister looked around a bit, thinking it over before she softly glanced up at me.

“Then, if it really doesn’t work out… can I borrow your place for a bit? I’m not saying I’d come empty-handed.”

As she said this, she looked up at me while slightly bowing her head, and her face was so pretty that I couldn’t help but consider what she really meant by saying she’d stay over at my house.

“Ah, well, then that’s fine!”

It was only after saying that that I remembered.

Uh, does that mean she’d be saying we’d sleep in the same place then?

We weren’t even officially dating yet; was that really okay?

“Yep, I mentioned that I’m hanging out with my friends, right? I’ll be careful not to be a nuisance.”

Only after hearing her words did I feel relieved.

Right! I was living with my friends. There were actually four of us.

Ah, I see.

In that case, I could be more at ease. Because… there wouldn’t be any weird happenings between us.

Well, I mean, I trusted my sister and thought my self-control wasn’t that bad.

Actually, I began to think that if my colleagues and my sister could meet, that would be quite nice. After that, visiting the bakery wouldn’t feel awkward at all.

“It’s okay! There’s no way it would be a bother.”

As I said this with a smile, my sister finally seemed to relax and smiled shyly.

My sister might come over to my house.

And maybe, she could sleep over.

And… even though I believed that wouldn’t happen, I could feel my heart racing.