I am back – Chapter 110

Siyun loved to eat.

That was true for both the Siyun from my memories and the Siyun sitting in front of me now.

In terms of quantity, the Siyun in front of me definitely had more. Honestly, every time I watched Siyun eat, I couldn’t help but wonder where all that food was disappearing to.

Isn’t it somewhat like a famous mukbang streamer? Strangely enough, it seemed like she didn’t even gain weight after eating all that.

…Honestly, isn’t that a bit unfair?

Pretty and with a great figure. Maybe she didn’t gain weight because she works out hard enough. If she runs every morning, I suppose it means she’s quite dedicated to her fitness.

I thought I was pretty diligent, but compared to Siyun, who gets up at dawn, exercises, cleans up, then commutes on the subway for 40 minutes, I felt like I didn’t stand a chance.

The Siyun from my memories… that girl used to eat well if I bought her something. She rarely left anything behind. Looking back, even if it wasn’t something she liked, if I bought it for her, she would eat it all with enthusiasm.

“Ah…”

Realizing I had been staring at her, Siyun’s face turned red. Then the speed of her moving chopsticks slowed down a bit.

Interestingly, despite eating so earnestly, not a single drop of food landed on her clothes. She barely made a sound, which was a bit different from the Siyun I knew.

It appeared she was eating daintily, yet the jajangmyeon in front of her disappeared in an instant. Even though she occasionally grabbed sweet and sour pork, the speed at which the food vanished was consistent, and I marveled at the sight. Honestly, wouldn’t she have no trouble living off doing streams like this? She’s pretty enough too.

But, well… seeing how shy she got the moment our eyes met, I wondered if eating in front of a crowd might be a bit tough for her. Eating in front of many people is definitely more embarrassing than just in front of me.

“Um, um, that…”

“Why, it looks nice.”

I said that sincerely, but after saying it, I thought it might have sounded a bit sarcastic.

I shot a glance at Siyun, who, apart from her flushed face, didn’t seem to harbor any negative feelings.

Honestly, I felt a bit full already, but I thought it would be a little awkward to let Siyun eat alone, so I picked up my chopsticks again. I grabbed some sweet and sour pork and chewed it leisurely.

Only then did Siyun start eating the jajangmyeon again, a little timidly.

Could it be that her enthusiastic eating was somehow linked to her past? I thought it could be. Come to think of it, the calorie bar that was in her bag last time kind of hinted at that.

It didn’t seem like just a quick snack; it felt as if she needed to have it ready for a crucial moment. You might think of it as a snack, but considering she had a knife with her, it seemed more like emergency rations.

It didn’t look like she was carrying it for long-term survival. Neither the knife nor the calorie bar gave off that vibe, even to someone as clueless as me.

So, I wondered why she carried such things. They certainly don’t seem particularly helpful, and they might raise misunderstandings among people.

“….”

Even after thinking about it, I didn’t quite understand.

Although I ate rather slowly, Siyun didn’t stop eating either. She looked a bit bashful from my gaze, but she was still munching away earnestly.

And the way she ate resembled that Siyun from my memories enough that I didn’t even need to think hard about it.

*

“Are you that embarrassed?”

Even after finishing our meal, Siyun’s face was still red. She turned even redder at my question. She couldn’t bring herself to say she was embarrassed.

Honestly, the reason I stopped eating earlier than Siyun wasn’t just because I ate less than her, but also because I felt a bit sick from riding the amusement park rides earlier. Honestly, even now, my stomach was still a bit off from it.

But I had calmed down a bit after resting on the bench, and, as expected, I had spent the entire meal sitting down, so I felt much better now. Once my mind settled, I noticed more around me, and one of the things I noticed was none other than Siyun.

I still questioned why that was. I even began to suspect there could be some distant relative of the Siyun I knew. Of course, they didn’t look alike at all, but you do have those relatives who bear no resemblance to each other.

Even if there was one, it’s unlikely that Siyun or her mom would have known. If there really had been a relative they knew, they could have at least gotten some help.

But among the few distant relatives I saw at Siyun’s funeral, I don’t recall any of them having the same name as Siyun.

Still, how could every little action be so similar?

What were the odds of running into someone whose every action resembled another person, even sharing the same name?

I had no idea, but the probability was undoubtedly extremely low, difficult to even hope for.

…Even after hearing that the town would be vanishing, I didn’t leave the area.

There was no one for me to wait for. The person I was supposed to wait for had already passed away.

After my parents received compensation and left, I remained at my mom’s place. My mom did too.

I thought I hadn’t gotten attached to that neighborhood. My parents fought daily, and no one bothered to clean up the trash rolling around in the streets. When summer arrived, the rotten water from the burst food waste bags spilled out, reeking, and when it rained heavily, occasionally the sewers clogged with cigarette butts would back up.

At times, I’d find animal droppings—whether dog or cat, couldn’t tell—on the ground, and strangely, when it snowed, it piled up rapidly. Maybe there were many people going out in the early morning, or perhaps before it could be cleaned up, people trampled over the snow like it was ice, making it extremely slippery.

Given that sort of town, I thought I had no memories tied to it.

But strangely, even after my only blood relatives had left, I stayed there for quite a while.

I wouldn’t say I had nowhere to go. If I wanted, I could easily rent a one-room place and leave.

But I didn’t want to.

It was only after everything ended that I realized that the neighborhood was infused with memories.

In a time when I knew nothing and didn’t even know how to pass the time, it was a tiny alley where we clung to each other, hand in hand.

The old door where we sat side by side and sniffled until Mom returned.

The faint sound of unknown little kids calling from afar was nostalgic.

That small, shabby neighborhood, with just a dim hole-in-the-wall shop and no convenience store, was everything to me and Siyun.

We had even gone out to famous streets for fun. Whenever we had time, I’d hold Siyun’s hand and wander around various places in Seoul. But ultimately, the place we returned to walking together at night was always that neighborhood.

Once that neighborhood disappeared, I would lose even that narrow alley where Siyun and I walked. Once the large apartment complex came in, even the remaining memories would vanish, leaving behind proof in just a few photos that I was there with Siyun.

So, I simply couldn’t leave.

Mom and I were the last to come out of the neighborhood, which had become empty after everyone else had gone.

What was so sad, Mom and I burst into tears as we stepped out of the entrance to the neighborhood.

They say even mountains change in ten years, but after Siyun disappeared, so much changed drastically in just five years.

In the meantime, I found myself unable to leave the neighborhood, circling around the vicinity. I didn’t even go to school properly and got expelled. I only found out about that through Yoori.

Mom had left far away. It seemed she wanted to distance herself from painful memories, especially after the neighborhood had disappeared.

Getting a job at the bakery facing the barricade where the neighborhood used to be—what were the odds of that happening? What were the chances the bakery was run by such a kind pastor?

And what was the probability that the bakery named “Sunflower,” with a sunflower painted on the sign, had even looked toward the house where we lived?

Thinking I had lost everything, I got up every morning and headed to that bakery, staring blankly at the construction barricade outside.

As if the sun existed there—like a sunflower looking toward the bright sun—like a sunflower facing the direction where tomorrow’s morning sun would rise.

Perhaps, maybe after such a long wait, the sun has finally risen.