I am back – Chapter 20

No matter the detailed reasons, Yu-ri’s wedding was an opportunity for me.

It wasn’t just a chance to meet Mom, but also to create several opportunities for Ah-yoon and me to get closer.

For instance,

“When I get invited to a wedding, what should I wear?”

I found myself with a valid excuse to casually ask such a question. Back in school, you could wear whatever you wanted. As long as you weren’t dressed too scruffily, nobody would care what you wore. In fact, these days even adults aren’t strictly required to wear formal attire, but… I still felt there should be at least some minimum decency.

For guys, just pulling out a decent suit works fine. Since suits are already somewhat dressy, just wearing one could express how seriously you want to celebrate this occasion.

However, women’s formal wear feels different.

Sure, the outfit for interviews won’t be too different from men’s. A blouse is just a feminine version of a shirt, and dress pants would be a skirt, with the tie missing. The atmosphere doesn’t differ that much from a men’s suit.

But the outfit you wear to a wedding seems to have a different vibe.

First off, the styles of blouse collars are incredibly diverse. When searching for men’s suits, you usually find them in one of three forms: too big, too small, or nonexistent; but with women’s wear, the styles vary wildly. There are suits, but some have absolutely none. Some are simply lace around the neckline.

No, more than that, when you search for ‘blouse,’ the variety in style is hugely inconsistent.

I thought the word “blouse” was just the feminine version of a shirt, but it seems I was mistaken. Some have buttons, while others have none; some were questionable as to whether they could even be categorized as ‘blouses.’

Then if you type in ‘women’s wedding guest attire,’ it widens the options to the point where you have to decide whether you’re wearing a dress or not.

“Can’t I just wear what I usually wear?”

My sister’s answer was simple.

After giving me a once-over from head to toe, she nodded and said,

“Your usual clothes should be just fine. You generally dress pretty neatly.”

“Is that so?”

I thought it felt like just everyday wear.

Of course, all the clothes I had were neatly designed. I suppose that’s because the Goddess made them for me.

“Yeah…”

But the sister who had said that momentarily gazed into space, pondering, and then muttered,

“Oh, but I think I need to buy a new outfit.”

Thus, she said in a mumbled tone.

“Um, but…”

I may not have a great sense of aesthetics, but I can tell apart similar styles of clothing.

While the range of ‘wedding guest attire’ is quite broad, if I narrow it down to ‘white top with blue skirt, and a neat vibe,’ I could easily come up with similar designs.

Usually, my sister wears white shirts or t-shirts, paired with jeans. There’s probably no workplace superior to keep an eye on, which is why she dresses comfortably, but it doesn’t mean she lacks skirts to wear.

Although it’s been five years since, my sister had quite a few similar designs in her closet. If what I wore was appropriate for wedding guest attire, she’d have plenty of outfits to choose from.

Even if I clumsily asked, “Don’t you have something like this?” I’d get a straightforward “Yeah” in response; those styles were quite common.

Perhaps understanding what I wanted to say, my sister smiled slightly bitterly and said,

“Still, since it’s my closest friend’s wedding, I’d rather go in a neat outfit.”

What I’m wearing now is already tidy.

Well, if my sister feels that way, so be it.

I nodded, feeling a mix of understanding and confusion.

“Hmm…”

Then my sister quietly looked at me and said,

“Then, shall we go together?”

She suggested that out of the blue.

“Excuse me?”

I didn’t catch the meaning of her sudden question immediately and asked for clarification.

“I meant let’s go look for outfits together.”

My sister smiled lightly.

“On our day off.”

I stared blankly at my sister and then replied with enthusiasm,

“Yes, let’s go together!”

Thanks to Yu-ri, I could finally use this as a proper excuse to go on a date with Ah-yoon.

I was deeply grateful to Yu-ri for setting the timing for the wedding.

*

…It’s hard to just leave it be.

That’s how I felt while spending time with Siyun.

In fact, those feelings began the moment Siyun walked into the bakery. He looked a few years younger than me, appearing anxious and somehow unable to adapt to the surrounding environment.

You shouldn’t judge a person based on their looks, but when I first saw Siyun, I got the impression that he seemed like the kind of person who might easily get scammed.

Perhaps it was his awkward attitude in conversations that made me feel that way even more.

In truth, when he simply sat quietly without saying anything, Siyun didn’t give off the impression that he had grown up in a difficult environment. He dressed cleanly and wore shoes that definitely weren’t cheap brand-wise.

But as we conversed, a sense of something lacking began to nag at me.

It wasn’t just that he stuttered while speaking to someone new. Siyun actually spoke quite well in front of strangers. He could handle the playful jabs of surprised teenagers he first met, and as long as no particular trouble arose, he managed well without making any mistakes at work.

However, it felt as though he carefully chose his words when speaking with me.

Being cautious with those close to him is a good trait. It means his close people are valued.

Yet, Siyun’s demeanor felt slightly different from that polite one.

It seemed more like a fearful manner.

It wasn’t full-on panic or anything, but he often wore this tense expression, as if a misstep would lead to a fall.

It was the same when he first told me his name.

“Cha Siyun, I am…”

Clearly, we were meeting for the first time, and it was reasonable for me not to know his name. But it seemed he hesitated for quite a while, exercising great caution as if fearing he shouldn’t tell me.

At first, I thought maybe he was just joking. Sure, he was still a stranger, and we had only met the previous day, but I wondered if he had some grudge against me or something, or maybe he was the person behind that incident I had heard about.

But that wasn’t the case.

His ID clearly read “Cha Siyun.” The birthday matched as well. Siyun was a year younger than the Siyun I knew and had a birthday two months earlier.

So, it was just a dreadful coincidence. He likely was apprehensive about sharing his name because he felt uneasy about the action itself.

…So, no,

the reason that I found myself fond of this kid had nothing to do with the name.

Instead—

“Yes, let’s go together!”

Seeing her reply with a bright smile makes it seem like someone comes to mind. Someone who always smiled back whenever I suggested going somewhere and said, “Sure, let’s go.”

Though outwardly different in appearance, location, and even birth dates, the only thing coinciding is the name.

Just because they have the same name doesn’t mean anything.

Muttering equations under my breath while calculating, scratching my head when making mistakes, or occasionally tapping my fingers in rhythm to music—

These are things that everyone does, not just her.

I imagined these possibilities, which couldn’t be possible at all.

Yet, that’s why I couldn’t just ignore it. I had no idea what had happened in the past, but I didn’t want to just leave her, who seemed strangely wounded.

So, I initiated conversations and ended up chatting with her like this.

Even though she still seemed cautious in front of me from time to time, now Siyun, who also laughs brightly and engages me first in talk, had slip-ups that set her apart too.

“Then let’s meet on that day off. Oh, but the place is…”

“Let’s meet in front. It’s a place we both know.”

“…Is that really okay?”

Doesn’t it mean only Siyun will need to come out?

“It’s fine. Anyway, there’s nothing to do at home.”

“Is that so?”

If that’s the case, let’s follow Siyun’s suggestion. If I delve deeper, I might poke at Siyun’s wounds.

“Then let’s do that.”

At my suggestion, Siyun smiled as if truly delighted.

Even though she had such a different face.

Seeing how similar their smiles appeared is probably just because I felt that way.