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I am back – Chapter 39

“Hello.”

Mom, greeting me with formal speech, glanced at me, then at Older Sister Ah-yoon. It made sense since this was the first time she was seeing me. The one who called me here was Older Sister Ah-yoon.

“Oh, I’m a staff member at our bakery.”

Technically speaking, I was a part-time worker, but she introduced me that way. I liked being called that. It wasn’t just because of the difference in the connotation between ‘part-time worker’ and ‘staff member.’

When you say ‘staff member,’ it carries the image of someone who has been around for a long time. Of course, that’s not entirely the case.

“Oh, really?”

Mom smiled and slightly lowered her head toward me.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Oh, no. Nice to meet you too…”

Only after saying that did I realize I hadn’t greeted Mom with a hello. But it was too late by the time it crossed my mind. It seemed strange for “nice to meet you” to be followed by “hello.”

But as I started to speak, the words that had previously stuck in my throat began to flow out little by little.

What should I say? I was carefully choosing my words when—

“Oh, umma, have you eaten?”

Yoori broke the silence and spoke to Mom first.

“Huh? Oh, no, not yet.”

Mom replied.

“Then let’s hurry and eat, okay? Oh, wait. You haven’t even taken a picture yet. Should we take a picture together? Ah-yoon, why don’t you go eat first?”

“Um, but…”

Before Older Sister Ah-yoon could say anything, Yoori’s gaze briefly flickered toward me and then back to her sister. Her eyes also caught mine for a second, and it seemed like a realization struck her.

“Uh, uh, okay.”

Did they have a mutual understanding? Older Sister Ah-yoon nodded quickly and grabbed my hand.

“Let’s go eat! You said you were hungry earlier, right?”

“Oh, yes…”

Unable to refuse her suggestion, I replied like that.

“Alright, you two go ahead and eat first. We’ll come down slowly. Umma, you haven’t met our parents yet, right? This way…”

Yoori quickly led Mom away. Mom looked back at us a few times as if confused, but she didn’t resist Yoori’s guidance.

“Sorry.”

As I followed Yoori with a puzzled expression, she apologized to me.

“Um, that person is someone who has helped me a lot since my childhood… Their son…”

…Ah.

Only after hearing that could I grasp the situation.

I see.

I still had my name. Whether she didn’t want me to completely lose my identity or thought that with my appearance changed, people wouldn’t notice, the Goddess had allowed my name to remain. Even as my birthday and age changed, my name remained the same.

At first, I had questions about it, but soon I was grateful for that fact.

If my name had changed too, I really wouldn’t have been able to have any certainty about ‘me.’ If everything about me changed, it meant I would be giving up my identity. No matter how much I thought of myself as ‘me,’ it meant that there would be no proof left in this world for even myself to acknowledge who I was.

However, that’s why I must be careful about letting Mom know my name.

To her, I was everything.

I was the only family she could lean on. Even though my sisters often came to help and take care of me, blood-related family-wise, I was her only one.

Mom had never talked about her parents. Judging by the absence of photos, there might have never been any from the start. When I was very young, I had asked about my grandparents, but as I grew older, I vaguely realized that Mom would react uncomfortably every time I asked such questions.

There was hardly any talk about my Dad either. I only knew he existed, nothing more. It was uncertain whether he even lived, but one thing was clear: he was not someone Mom could rely on.

But now, the son she could rely on was gone.

For the past five years, he had been absent.

“…”

Yoori fell silent after that. She merely bit her lip and pulled my hand gently. Right. For her, my existence must have been a wound.

Every time she showed surprise at hearing my name or seemed to subtly acknowledge it—

Oh, I really didn’t think about it.

If just telling Mom my name would be such a big wound, how must it have been for Older Sister Ah-yoon? What was her emotional state when she first heard my name?

When I unknowingly showed my old habits or let slip some memories. When I said something she told me long ago.

Could she only recall the good memories we shared?

…No, that’s not possible. The strongest memory for her must have been the moment I died.

Every time I saw her acknowledge my presence, I felt a bit of guilt but also a small joy. It was proof that she still remembered me.

“…”

What should I say to her?

Should I tell her it’s okay? Should I say it’s alright without needing to speak?

…No, for now, it might be best to just follow her in silence.

Yoori opened and closed her mouth a few times, but ultimately, she couldn’t say anything properly about me.

Seeing that from her made my heart feel a little heavy.

*

It’s quite amazing how food can still go down even when my heart feels heavy.

Perhaps this was one of the few good habits I picked up on the battlefield. Eating was the most important thing in a fight. It was foolish to skip a meal just because I wasn’t feeling good. Who knew when I’d get another chance to eat?

Even if there was a disgusting monster’s corpse right in front of me. Even if there were pieces of my comrades who had fought alongside me just moments ago.

Even amidst the fear of possibly dying, even in a place that stank of decay.

I had eaten. I had pushed forward while chomping down on heavily salted and pickled meat.

So even in this moment, I could eat.

Of course, the food here was light-years away from what I used to eat in that world. Sushi and various sashimi that I wouldn’t have even dared to think about back then.

All kinds of meats cooked Korean style. Rice cakes, breads, and cakes.

There wasn’t a single food that didn’t satisfy me on my first bite. Someone once said buffet food is worse than food from individual restaurants, but honestly, that made me want to argue.

“I was really hungry, huh?”

Seeing me eat with gusto seemed to lift Yoori‘s mood a little. In fact, it seemed a bit surprising to her as well. I was definitely eating a massive amount compared to my size.

Even though I was slightly bigger than her now, I couldn’t have been too far off from the average height of women in South Korea. Seeing a seemingly average woman eat this much inevitably came off as strange.

Still, I was being as careful as possible. No matter what, I didn’t want to look too gluttonous or spill anything on my clothes in front of her.

“…The person from earlier, as I said, has helped me a lot since I was young.”

As her heart settled down a bit, Yoori began to speak slowly. I tried to slow my chewing down to catch what she was saying.

“So I want to introduce you to them, but… um… it might take a little time. Actually, if it weren’t for Yoori, I would have made a big mistake today.”

I cautiously nodded.

It seemed better to just pretend I understood and moved on.

“But someday, I’ll have to introduce you. We won’t be able to avoid seeing each other anyway.”

“…Yes.”

After swallowing my food, I answered softly.

That was sufficient for me. Just the chance of meeting Mom again was enough to kindle hope in my heart.

“…I don’t know the reason right now, but…”

And then, cautiously, I added, “I hope that someday I can be introduced to you.”

I told a lie.

Right now, I couldn’t say it.

Truthfully, even if I did, she might take it as a joke. Perhaps by the time I got introduced to Mom, it would already be too late.

They might ask why I hadn’t said anything until then, why I kept my identity hidden all this time.

All I could say was that I was sorry.

But still, I had made up my mind.

Someday, I hoped to reveal that it was me in front of Mom and my sisters.

And that I could at least cover their wounds a little.

…Today, I’ll pray to the Goddess again.

I am Back

I am Back

Score 7.8
Status: Completed Type: Released: 2022
I came back to the original world. I thought it would be be nice to meet the people I loved again.

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