I am back – Chapter 88

“Is Siyun scared?”

Kalia seemed incredulous as she asked this after hearing Arna’s story.

“It’s more like… he looked like he was on high alert about something.”

“On high alert? In this house?”

Dana asked with a confused expression.

“Do you think something might actually be going on…?”

Pia said with a hint of worry.

In the minds of the four, including Arna who was unfolding the story, Siyun was a specimen of a brave hero.

Of course, he never showed such a demeanor from the start. When Siyun first arrived in Irrelaysia, he didn’t appear to be anything extraordinary. His physical strength was below that of an ordinary peasant, his magic power was as average as it gets, and his stamina could even be considered below average.

In fact, if he had been born a noble, it might not have been considered a setback at all. Siyun was quite clever and easily acquired various bits of knowledge about Irrelaysia.

If there was something remarkably outstanding about him, it would be his ‘diligence.’

He woke up at dawn to train, not because someone told him to. The content of his training was mostly what he had practiced the day before.

He never skipped training. Even when he wasn’t feeling well, he tried his best to at least do the minimum training to keep that feeling alive.

After training, he would review what he had practiced, and even during breaks, he kept training his body.

Moreover, his weak strength and stamina soon became strong.

At first glance, he seemed like an average person, but his abilities grew much faster than those of others. Kalia, who was also his instructor, thought of him as someone truly sent by the Goddess.

However, the reason Siyun was training so hard was not for personal gain. It was simply to help people and fulfill the Goddess’s request properly.

If Siyun had been just a rogue wielding a holy sword without knowing justice, the four—including Kalia—would never have recognized him as a hero. In fact, they probably wouldn’t even have thought of including him in their party from the start.

So, it was hard for them to easily accept that the brave Siyun trembled in fear every night.

“Well, since the oracle said so, I thought it might be possible.”

Arna spoke in the calmest tone she could manage, but still couldn’t hide the shadow on her face. As she lowered her head slightly while bringing up such a heavy topic, her face was shaded by the LED lights pouring down from above. Perhaps it was because she was revealing something she had promised to keep secret from Siyun.

“And Siyun has shown that kind of behavior on the battlefield a few times as well. Of course, at that time, I wouldn’t have thought he was scared…”

“He was always someone who led in battle.”

Pia chimed in, picking up on Arna’s words.

“Even against powerful foes, he never faltered, and even when fighting the Demon King at the end…”

“…”

Everyone fell silent.

Although they had heard about it from the Goddess, they hadn’t heard such serious words about Siyun until Arna spoke directly.

They thought it would be fine just to be together.

“Since it’s come to this, let’s all be honest.”

After a brief silence, the first to speak up was Kalia.

“Since then, I’ve been afraid to hold my sword.”

At Kalia’s words, Pia, Dana, and Arna turned their gazes towards her all at once. With expressions of surprise, Kalia just shrugged and said.

“Of course you wouldn’t know. We haven’t held swords since then. I’ve been busy with family matters, and you all have had your own things to deal with… um.”

Pia might not have, but Dana and Arna seemed to remember being trapped in their rooms in despair after Siyun died, causing Kalia to pause mid-sentence.

And naturally, she casually turned the conversation.

“I ran out in front of Siyun to fight the Demon King back then. And I failed. I got slashed and fell back. If it hadn’t been for you all, I would have died right there.”

Of course, Kalia hadn’t been unhelpful in the fight against the Demon King before that. If she hadn’t run out, Siyun would have taken that attack, and perhaps no one would be sitting here now.

But Kalia didn’t mention that; she simply continued her story.

“The last blow was dealt by Siyun. And the Demon King fell.”

And then, as expected, the Demon King made one last desperate attempt in death.

By unleashing the bound magic within his body to obliterate the surroundings.

At that time, many of the Demon King’s army remained in the castle, making their last stand. The Kingdom’s army surrounded the castle to prevent that army from escaping.

And most of those in the Kingdom’s army were the primary producers of the kingdom. After the war, they would return to restore fallen cities, farm, and raise children. They were the future bearers of the kingdom.

While it wasn’t every soldier, many of the kingdom’s forces had gathered there, and if they all perished, the kingdom would suffer a tremendous blow.

Moreover, if the Saintess, the head of the Magic Tower, and the Elf, who were all empowered by the World Tree, were to vanish, it would take an enormous amount of time to resolve the corrupted magic.

It was truly a battle where everything was on the line.

And ironically, the least influential existence in that place could be said to be Kalia, who held the highest status.

“Even I tried to protect them. But… that was the end for me.”

“…”

Everyone fell silent at Kalia’s words. They didn’t know what to say in comfort.

“My shield, my sword, could do nothing in the most crucial moment… that’s what I thought. Thinking like that made me scared. Scared to hold a sword. Holding that sword meant I might not be able to protect someone I want to protect. I know it’s not something a commander should say.”

And she looked around at Pia, Dana, and Arna.

“I don’t think ‘surely’ applies here, but I believe each of you might also have something that has changed within you since the war. Since it’s come to this, let’s just be straightforward about it. If I can’t even face my own wounds, there’s no way I can comfort others.”

“…”

At Kalia’s words, they fell silent for a moment.

“…I.”

The first person to speak up was Dana.

“I’ve been haunted by the fact that I couldn’t complete my theory in the last moments. And because of that, I’ve clung to that thought ever since, and honestly, I still do. Other things don’t even come to my vision. All I see is the magic that can stop the next Demon King and destroy it, the completion of that magic… nothing else even crosses my mind.”

Dana wiped her face with her hand.

Now that she had spoken, she felt a bit relieved, and continued to speak.

“I know there are many things I need to do after the war. Of course, the mages of the Magic Tower are not just sitting around, but… I knew well that there were countless things I could participate in to shorten the time. However, I didn’t do any of that. It was because that last theory kept lingering in my head. I couldn’t do anything else until I finished that.”

And Dana took a deep breath. Her shoulders rose and fell,

“…Siyun’s death is because I didn’t complete that theory on time.”

As she uttered those words, her body seemed to shrink.

No one could say anything in response to her words. They couldn’t affirm or deny them.

There were many things that became possible because Dana was there in the party. If it hadn’t been for Dana, they might not have faced the Demon King in the end. But even so, Dana’s words were something only she could understand.

Completing the theory quickly or completing it late was something only Dana, the head of the Magic Tower, could manage, so they didn’t know what to say.