I am back – Chapter 9

The bread was delicious.

Not just the cream puff bread generously slathered with fresh cream, but also the sweet cream filled cream puffs, and the soboru bread, which was much softer than I remembered. The soboru bread was particularly warm and not overly dry as if it had just been baked.

Moreover, the bitterness of the Americano accentuated the sweetness of the breads. If there were only these three kinds of bread or if the drink were sweet too, I might not have fully appreciated the proper taste of the soboru bread by the time I got to it. The first two breads were remarkably sweet and distinctive.

The clean drink, bitter yet not sticking to my throat, cleaned my palate, setting me up perfectly for the next bite. Thanks to this, I was able to enjoy three sweet breads without getting bored. But I wouldn’t be able to finish just coffee alone.

“Whew…”

I let out a small sigh—it was a sigh filled with satisfaction. Of course, I wasn’t stuffed. I realized while eating jajangmyeon and sweet and sour pork for breakfast that my body might have become a bit smaller than before, but it didn’t seem like the amount I ate changed much.

I would still need to have lunch separately later.

There was a way to buy more bread here, but… I didn’t really want to. I probably made a strange first impression as it was. I didn’t want things to get any weirder from here.

“……”

Ah.

But… what about the cup and tray?

At the fast food restaurant, there was a designated spot for returning them, but here, it seemed a bit too cramped for that. Should I just return them to the counter?

But what about the people who are paying at the counter? Should I stand there waiting behind someone holding these? Of course, right now I didn’t see any other customers. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t busy times for customers…

“……”

Yeah, just sitting here pondering won’t get me any answers.

…Actually, it wasn’t so much that I was genuinely pondering over something trivial, but rather I was a bit scared to talk to my older sister again. Judging by the fact that she gave me a coffee for free, it didn’t seem like I left a remarkably bad impression, but on the flip side, it also meant I didn’t come off as ordinary either.

I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad sign. For the past five years, I had gotten used to easily speaking to people because of my established status as a ‘hero’, so I was struggling to figure out how to get along with others from ‘nothing’.

Besides, there were many things to be careful about when talking to my older sister.

If ‘another person’ knew my past too well, it would make my skin crawl.

Honestly, nothing was easy at all.

It seems I was way too naïve about things right after coming back this way.

“Whew.”

I let out another small sigh. Alright. I can’t just sit here forever. If I stayed here after finishing my food, it would seem even more strange.

I pushed my chair back and got up. I placed the empty tray with the ice cup on top and slowly walked toward the counter.

As I approached, my older sister stood in front of the counter again.

“Uh, um, this is…”

I stumbled over my words again. It felt odd. I had been able to talk about silly everyday stories so easily in front of her. But it felt like the five years apart had created a huge wall between us. I might be genuinely at a loss on how to act too. Maybe this unseen dust of time had been building up between us for the past five years.

I couldn’t know how she had lived. Did she feel sad when I died? She definitely would have. She was that kind of person. Perhaps she comforted our mom, who became alone.

And, that incident probably changed her to some extent. Of course, I couldn’t tell that just by looking at her now…

I, too, had changed a lot from that time.

I had seen and learned a lot over the past five years. I had seen both the good and the evil in people and had faced embodiments of malice. I was able to help many people, but at the same time, I was also responsible for many lives lost. I even died twice.

…How much have I changed?

I found myself pondering this now.

Aside from my body that had turned into a woman, how much has my essential self changed? That was something I couldn’t discover by just contemplating it on my own. I couldn’t view myself objectively.

I wondered if maybe my comrades from the past five years felt this change.

“Yes, please take it over here.”

My older sister smiled softly as she took the tray.

“Um, it was delicious.”

I said the best line I could muster to her. The only reason I was able to say anything was because I genuinely felt that way.

It was delicious. Truly.

So delicious that I could want to come back again.

My sister’s eyes widened slightly at my words, and soon, those eyes turned into a narrow smile again.

“Thank you. Please come again.”

With a bright smile, that reply came back.

I merely nodded my head and quickly turned away.

As I distanced myself from her, many thoughts flooded my mind.

Come to think of it, if I’m just working here part-time, I might quit in the future too. Perhaps tomorrow could be that day. Should I exchange contact info now? No, she would definitely think that was strange.

In the end, I couldn’t add a few more words before stepping out of the store. Still, I felt a bit reluctant, so I grabbed the door and slowly pulled my body outside. I felt the temperature rising sharply, contrasting with the air-conditioned room. Ah, so it’s this hot and sticky outside. That thought briefly crossed my mind.

Then, I noticed something I hadn’t seen when I came in.

There was a sign saying ‘Part-time worker wanted’ on the bakery’s window. Below, a single contact number was written, but I had no idea how many they were looking for or what kind of people they wanted.

But—

The moment I saw the notice, I felt a surge of hope ignite in my chest.

I pulled my body back inside before the door could close again.

“Are you hiring part-timers?”

As soon as I quickly asked that, my older sister, who had been heading out, blinked in surprise.

Ah.

In my haste, I spoke loudly right in front of the store. I realized that and felt my face heat up a bit.

“Oh, yes. We are hiring.”

My older sister quickly gathered herself and replied.

“Well, then, can I apply too?”

Unfortunately, I had never actually had a job before. My family was poor, but my mom had a strong aversion to me working separately. She convinced me that it was better to study during the time I could work, so I had never had a part-time job.

Because of that, I didn’t even know how to apply. Should I write a resume?

By the time that thought crossed my mind, it was already too late.

But fortunately, my sister just smiled and said.

“Well then, could you come back tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes, tomorrow.”

My older sister spoke in a soothing voice again.

“I don’t even know your name yet.”

“Ah…”

Right, I didn’t even know her name yet. I could know my sister’s name because her name tag was attached. But I was currently a stranger meeting her for the first time.

Name… what should I say?

On my bankbook or ID, my name was written as it was.

But I didn’t feel it was strange in any way. In some ways, my name didn’t seem awkward even being attached to a woman.

If I write my name as it is, wouldn’t my sister recognize me?

My heart raced.

I knew it. No matter what, it wouldn’t be possible to think of someone of a different gender as a dead person. Besides, I was the one who requested to not be recognized. Asking her to recognize me now would be a bit absurd.

Of course, I could come up with a different name for the moment. But that might create problems later on while working here. A part-time job is essentially selling one’s labor for money.

Even so, if I spun a good tale, my sister might believe it.

But still.

If I state my name, wouldn’t my sister remember me just a little?

I knew it was a terribly selfish thought…

But if my name could make her remember me…

“I need to teach you how to work, discuss your hours and pay, so why don’t you take some time to gather your thoughts and come back tomorrow? There’s no rush, so please come again tomorrow.”

“Ah, yes!”

After hearing her say that again, I decided in my heart.

“Then I’ll come back tomorrow!”

“Yes, I’ll be waiting.”

Her words filled my chest with emotions.

She said she’d wait. She told me to come back tomorrow.

Even if I came here tomorrow, my sister would still be here.

Of course, my sister might not be the owner of this store. No, given her age, it would be more appropriate to think of her as an employee. She might be a part-timer too. She would quit someday, but that day wouldn’t be tomorrow.

At least I had bought myself some time.

“Ah, I enjoyed the coffee earlier!”

I shouted that as I bowed my head. Then I quickly turned around and exited the bakery in embarrassment.

Despite the scorching sunlight, the humid weather felt suffocating.

But even with that hot midday heat, my steps walking down the street felt incredibly light.