I Became the Childhood Friend of the Northern Duchess – Chapter 51

Ariel had calmed down a bit, sitting on the edge of her bed with her head hanging low.

Seeing her unable to lift her head like a sinner made Edgar momentarily angry, but he hesitated to say anything.

What sin could she possibly have committed?

It was the fault of a father who could not even offer a warm word to a child burdened by responsibilities and a helpless childhood friend who found no way to comfort her.

Edgar brought a glass of warm water and offered it to her.

He wondered if she would swat it away, but thankfully, as if she had gathered herself, that unfortunate incident did not happen.

Swallow. Swallow.

Carefully holding the glass, Ariel took a small sip, while Edgar silently pulled a chair from the desk and sat down across from her.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“…Why aren’t you leaving? You said you would.”

Without answering Edgar’s question, Ariel demanded that he fulfill the promise they had made earlier with a sinking voice.

If it had been someone else, they might have been taken aback, but for Edgar, this was the reaction he had anticipated.

He shrugged and flashed a playful smile, as if to say he really believed her.

“Do you think I don’t know you? That was just the usual lie.”

“…Seriously. I don’t even have the energy to get mad anymore.”

As she boldly admitted it was a lie, Ariel smirked in disbelief, offering her empty glass to him.

After all, she never really believed it.

He was absolutely no one who would leave her in such a state.

She hadn’t raised that remark hoping he would disappear from her sight either.

In a way, it was almost childlike stubbornness.

A stubbornness not to show weakness or embarrassment in front of a friend.

But thinking back on it now, what did that even mean?

They could call each other friends precisely because they knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

It was all just her own shame projected as anger towards him, and it felt extremely embarrassing.

“A foolish young lady. That’s spot on.”

Reiterating the words Edgar often used, Ariel weakly lifted one side of her mouth and nodded, as if to say she understood.

There was no way she could hide it from him forever.

Even if she managed to delay the meeting between him and her father, it was bound to come out for one reason or another someday.

It just happened to come to light a little sooner.

Ariel lifted her head and met Edgar’s golden eyes, as if to say she was finally ready.

“…?”

Yet somehow, Edgar’s expression seemed rather indifferent.

If it were the usual him, he would have definitely reacted somehow upon meeting her gaze like this.

For instance, he would have started asking questions about what had just happened or engaged in a proper conversation.

“…What?”

“What do you mean?”

When Ariel threw a short remark implying her question, Edgar casually picked his ear with his pinky finger.

It was Ariel who became frustrated instead.

“Why aren’t you asking anything? You’re not really going to say you’d pass on this just because I don’t want to talk about it, right?”

“That’s right.”

His utterly deflating response made Ariel feel as though all the strength had ebbed from her body.

At this point, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was simply naïve instead of just being a good person.

Human curiosity is endless, and the clearer the inferences, the stronger the desire to confirm the unknown tale.

The countless questions she had thrown at Edgar until now.

The opportunity to solve those questions was right in front of her.

Yet, how could this man so easily turn away from a situation where he could hear the truth from her own mouth?

As if to end the deliberation, Edgar’s previously tightly closed lips finally opened.

“If you felt it was just your personal matter, I would have asked by now. But this is a matter concerning your family.”

Family matters are not something that can be casually discussed by outsiders.

Even if Edgar felt anger about what had just transpired before his eyes, it would be foolish to leap into it without much thought.

Moreover, hearing only Ariel’s fragmented story, he found himself unable to maintain control.

He feared that if she started crying again, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

At times like this, it was vital to keep a cool head.

Merely feeling pity would not be enough to genuinely understand and comfort her.

“And I understand your feelings right now because I’ve been through something similar before.”

“You… when?”

“……”

Hearing it was news to her that Edgar had family issues in the past, Ariel’s round eyes widened as they stared at him.

Edgar raised his hands to his shoulders in a shrug as if he had nothing more to say.

There were things that he couldn’t tell her.

Even if he did share, she probably wouldn’t believe it.

It was just a faded memory of a distant past in his mind.

“Anyway, aside from that, the most important thing is your true feelings. Do you really want to talk about this, or do you feel like you’ve been found out, so you have no choice but to give up?”

Ariel flinched at the sensation coursing through her chest, shrinking slightly.

He truly seemed to grasp what was deep in her heart.

To be honest, the feeling of being forced to talk because she had been caught was mostly true, and that was the biggest reason she’d decided to tell him about it.

But this was not the right time.

It was a decision she made after gathering herself and a bit of deliberation.

There could be several reasons, but the biggest factor was,

“Yes, I want to talk. Of course, there’s also the reason that you found out… More than that, I hope there’s nothing I have to hide from you.”

“…Ha ha, that’s flattering.”

Edgar scratched his cheek awkwardly, feeling a natural embarrassment due to her sincere response.

Could this be said to mean that people find it easier to show their true selves when they are hurting or weak?

Thinking about it, whenever she had revealed her heart so openly, it had usually been during times when she was overwhelmed or struggling.

As a friend, he wished she would be a bit more honest even in normal times, but then again, changing is not an easy feat.

Now, he found a little bit of fun in searching for her sincerity among her cold and prickly demeanor.

“Where do you want to start?”

“As much as you know, everything.”

“It’s going to be a long story. Are you okay with that?”

“I have plenty of time. I’ll be around until dawn, so don’t worry.”

Edgar gently wiped the remnants of Ariel’s tears with his thumb, reassuring her.

Normally, she would have shyly brushed off his gesture.

But right now, Ariel simply did a tiny bit of harmless resistance while accepting his touch like a cat, and opened her mouth willingly.

“Actually, it’s not a special story. It’s just about not being able to live up to my father’s expectations.”

“…I see.”

Before diving into the heart of the story, Edgar’s expression turned somber at Ariel’s words.

“Living up to expectations.” That was probably the chain that was binding the current Ariel.

But to know the details, they had to hear her out.

So he remained silent and waited for her to continue her story.

“Since I was little, my father has been a bit harsh. Plus, when he went off to war for months on end, we naturally grew distant over time.”

When the body is distant, the heart tends to grow distant as well.

That holds true even for family.

No, perhaps it was even more pronounced because they were family.

Had they been lovers, they likely would have tried harder to make amends for the distance created by neglect.

But within the confines of family, they tend to think their bonds are tightly intertwined simply because they are family, and eventually, they often drop their guard.

Ariel continued, nodding as if Edgar understood.

“When my father returned to the family home, he was always saying how it was up to me to carry on our family’s legacy, and that I needed to strive harder. He emphasized that point from a young age.”

“Was it not difficult?”

“Of course, it was hard. My mother told me not to bear too much of a burden, but she wasn’t entirely wrong, was she?”

Unless Ariel had siblings to share the burden, she was the only one groomed to be the next heir.

Yulken always used that to pressure his daughter.

He expected a 2 when she delivered a 1, and when she achieved 2, he wanted 5.

Ariel could count on one hand the memories of receiving praise from her father. He was strict to the point where she felt like he was a stranger.

Even though Helene, who knew this better than anyone, tried her best to comfort Ariel, that alone was never enough.

Parental love. Even when it was split in half, one side couldn’t fill in all the gaps left by the other.

“The truth is, I decided to go to war in three years for that very reason. I haven’t told my father yet, but… I thought maybe he’d praise me for showing such determination.”

“I see.”

Edgar finally realized what that déjà vu feeling he had experienced then was all about.

Back then, Ariel had not been making a determined expression; it seemed more like she had resigned herself to something.

It was something that the Ariel Robeheim he had seen until now would never do.

She had always been a girl who was strong and noble.

The type of girl who walked fearlessly on a path she knew to be her own, full of purpose and resolves.

“I thought it was just my imagination.”

Even Edgar didn’t know everything about her.

Thus, there were times when he might miss her signals and let them slip by, and that day was a perfect example.

“But only after meeting you today did I feel it. Perhaps my father merely dislikes me. He may not have any further expectations for a daughter who can’t even live up to them anymore.”

“…….”

The thought that her father, the one who had given her life, might actually hate her was a painful one, even within a family.

It was a kind of pain that felt like it could break her skin just to say it out loud.

Drip. Drip.

Soon, tears as round as doves began to flow from Ariel’s eyes, soaking the back of her hand resting on her thigh.

Edgar could only watch her, unable to hand over a handkerchief or offer consolation.

What could any action mean to her at this moment?

Edgar clenched his fists tightly.

This was the first time he had ever felt such a strong sense of helplessness.

He finally realized how painful it was to know his friend was suffering but be unable to offer a solution or comfort.

“Ariel, what do you want to do?”

“Wha… what do you mean?”

“Do you want to restore your relationship with Lord Yulken… I mean, your father?”

Right now, what mattered most to him was Ariel’s true feelings.

Did she truly want to live on without ever understanding one another with her father?

Or did she want to, despite the pain he had always caused her, to share their unspoken truths at last?

He knew that putting the decision in the hands of a girl trembling with sorrow was too much, yet it was also exactly why he had to ask.

This choice at the crossroads could very well determine the life she would come to lead.

In someone’s life, that is how family operates.

“Umm… I want to know if I’m really a daughter he dislikes. And I want to tell him that even so, I don’t hate him. I want to believe there will come a day when we can understand each other.”

“…I see.”

Edgar stood up and finally wiped away the tears streaming down Ariel’s cheeks, gently ruffling her hair.

“Ariel, do you remember what I said on the night of the ball?”

“Yeah…?”

That night had made her heart race so much that her memories were a little blurry.

But still, one line he’d desperately attempted to convey remained etched in her mind, clear as day.

To remember that by saying “Help me,” she had a friend willing to put his life on the line for her.

Realizing that thought, tears began to pour down her cheeks like a waterfall.

She knew it was a phrase she shouldn’t say to him.

She also understood that this was a path she had to forge with courage.

Yet, because she hadn’t taken that one step yet, she found herself uttering the words she longed to keep bottled inside.

“Please, help me, Edgar…”

At her desperate plea, Edgar silently stood up and removed the coat he’d been wearing, draping it over her legs.

He feared that if those guarding her were to disappear, she would tremble with loneliness.

At long last, he found both the reason and the courage to step forward.

With those words, he knew he could draw his sword even before the emperor of the empire if need be.

After telling her to get some rest and sleep, he left the room, only to see Shuri waiting by the door.

“Shuri, please take care of Ariel.”

“W-where are you going?”

“To Lady Helene, of course. But ultimately…”

He needed to go to the person herself.

Though he might not relay those words immediately today, whether it be tomorrow or the day after, timing was not what mattered.

What was important was not speed, but understanding the situation and making sure to tie up loose ends.

But first, the person he needed to meet was Helene.

Excluding Yulken, the only one who could understand the ins and outs of the situation was presumably her.

Without reaching that understanding, he couldn’t truly assert that he had helped this father and daughter understand each other.

As he moved, Shuri showed her utmost respect, seeing him off as best she could.

Hoping all would resolve well.

All she could do was to wish for something she didn’t even know was well worth the trouble.