“Miss Michelle.”
Before leaving Arcana, the last place I visited was where Michelle was staying.
“Ah, hello, Aike-senpai.”
Her hair was frizzled and dark circles under her eyes had deepened.
Where had that vibrant girl I used to know gone? She was now huddled up, looking defeated.
I couldn’t believe how someone could become so haggard in less than two weeks.
Well, I guess it’s only natural.
After all, Michelle was currently residing in a prison that was rarely used, even by Arcana.
“You seem unwell. Shouldn’t we call someone?”
“Oh, no. Everyone is treating me well. It’s just that I haven’t been able to sleep properly, and I haven’t been eating well…”
But the reason Michelle was locked up in prison wasn’t exactly because she committed a crime.
It had already been established that she had no direct ties to Avatarara.
Her parents, who managed the upper ranks, had already fled when the Empire sent troops.
And the issue of information leaking from within Arcana was deemed not to be Michelle’s fault either.
Nevertheless, the reason for Michelle’s imprisonment was precautionary.
In case she accidentally leaked information.
To protect her when the unidentified individuals from Avatarara were sent.
As evidence, the prison where Michelle stayed was quite clean and nearly all necessities were provided.
According to Reina, they were trying to accommodate Michelle’s requests as much as possible.
“…So, what brings you here?”
Still, living in a prison under such control, where all privacy is stripped away, must be more stressful than I imagined.
“Well, it might sound strange since it’s my first time here, but I don’t think I’ll be able to come back for a while.”
“Is something happening outside?”
“Not really. I’m just returning home for a bit.”
“Haha, I’ve lost my home to return to.”
…Was that a bit too blunt?
As my thoughts silenced my words, Michelle flailed her arms in surprise.
“No, it was a joke.”
“In your current situation, making jokes like that seems a bit… inappropriate.”
“My motto is that the harder it gets, the more we should smile.”
It certainly was a good philosophy, but in a situation like this, I thought it might be wise to hold back.
“Anyway, it seems like it will be quite a while before we see each other again. Please take care of yourself until then.”
I slightly bowed my head before quietly getting up from my seat.
Michelle might only be released after the war with Avatarara was over, so it could be at least three months before we meet again.
Just as I turned to leave, Michelle reached through the bars and grabbed my arm.
“Aike-senpai, may I ask you just one question?”
“Ah, yes. If it’s something I can answer, feel free.”
“Why are you all being so kind to me?”
It seemed like an odd question at first, but looking into her eyes, I understood her intention.
Michelle was just like me a few days ago.
The only difference being she was at least putting on a bright front.
“Because of me, seniors almost lost their lives. And Ender Dean and Ellyn… they died. So why don’t you all resent me? Why do you treat me kindly like usual?”
However, just like Reina had done for me, I couldn’t provide Michelle with the answer she wanted.
What qualifications did I have to comfort someone who had created this future?
“…Miss Michelle. May I share something about myself?”
“Yes, Aike-senpai.”
“Ender Dean took the hit to protect me.”
“I heard about that.”
But because of that, I had something only I could say.
“I still think about it. If I had been a bit stronger, if I had put in a bit more effort, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Aike-senpai, you’re more than enough…”
I appreciated that Michelle cared about my feelings even in such a moment, but I shook my head and continued.
“No matter how hard I try, I remain lacking in the critical moment. That fact doesn’t change.”
I had no right to comfort Michelle.
“But Ender Dean knew that and sacrificed himself to save me. Telling me to keep moving forward. So, I plan to fight Avatarara. There’s also revenge for those who died, but above all, I don’t want to see those around me get hurt anymore. I want to create a future where everyone can laugh in the end. To do that, I must do everything I can. That’s my reason for rising now.”
But I could solve the worries that Michelle harbored.
No, I had to.
“How can I become strong like you?”
“…I’m weak. But because there are people who believe in me, I’m just trying to hold on and be strong.”
Michelle hung her head low.
I didn’t add any more words and simply got up.
What I wanted was a future where everyone could laugh.
And Michelle had to be part of that.
★
“Haah.”
Michelle sighed softly.
The senior, Aike, who had given her quite a peculiar answer to her question, had already left.
“A future where everyone can laugh.”
Though the reasons for Michelle and Aike’s worries were different, at their core, they were the same kind of worry.
A disaster born from one’s own mistakes.
How to accept that.
“I will do everything I can.”
Michelle wanted comfort that was obvious but sought it nonetheless.
She wished to be told that what happened wasn’t her fault.
She didn’t want to be judged as innocent by the Empire or Arcana, but rather to be acknowledged by her precious seniors.
Of course, she hadn’t asked such questions when others visited before.
She had merely blurted it out since Aike mentioned he wouldn’t be able to meet for a while.
“It’s not about being strong.”
Aike didn’t comfort Michelle in response to her question laced with such intent.
He merely conveyed his goal, his determination to move forward.
To Aike, Michelle was a victim, and he had thought he would bear her burden as well.
“I’m just trying to be strong.”
But that alone was enough.
Sometimes, those who have stumbled are moved more by seeing someone in the same position moving forward than by a hundred words of comfort.
“Haha.”
What a fool, Michelle muttered with a smile.
She chastised herself for questioning why her seniors were so kind to her.
They had never doubted her from the beginning.
It wasn’t that they were trying to be kind.
They were kind people, to begin with.
“…I surely must have something I can do too.”
With that said, Michelle’s eyes rekindled with firm resolve.
★
“Oof.”
My body felt stiff.
Even stiffer than usual.
The journey from Raynen to Arcadia took four days.
Normally, it would be usual to return home by having Noelle drive the carriage from my family home, but this time I had returned separately by hiring a carriage since it had been a sudden trip.
That resulted in the current state I was in.
“Phew.”
Noelle’s carriage was incredibly comfortable.
But the hardships were over.
I had finally arrived home.
Perhaps because I had sent a letter in advance, both Alex and Noelle were there to greet me.
“Welcome back, Aike-dorren.”
“It’s been a while, you two.”
I entrusted the luggage I brought from Arcana to Noelle and asked Alex.
“Is Father in his office?”
“Yes.”
“Has he been very busy lately?”
“As you know, the current situation across the Empire is a bit…”
From what Alex said, the state of Arcadia was relatively stable, but in places like Heros, about half the shops had closed down, and some noble families were caught trying to flee.
“Then it might be a bit difficult to have a conversation now.”
However, there was something I wanted to discuss as soon as possible.
The reason I arranged for a carriage immediately after finishing my talk with Charlotte.
“Alex, I’ll go see Father first.”
“Yes, understood.”
Still, I should at least say hello.
“I’m back, Father.”
Father was working on documents in his office.
Next to him was a mountain of paperwork piled high.
No matter how I looked at it, it seemed like an amount that couldn’t be resolved in a single day, but Father continued working as if there were no problems.
“I hear you’ve had quite a lot of trouble this time. Are you alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“…I hear you were the one who stayed by Ender Dean’s side at the end. I want to hear how the Dean met his end.”
At Father’s question, my breath caught in my throat.
Even though I had promised to move forward, my heart still wavered at the memory of that day.
Is this what they call trauma?
But now, I had resolved not to look away.
“He told me that sometimes it’s enough to just think of one’s death once in a while, and to keep moving toward my goal.”
“…I see. Even at the end, those were the words of a true teacher.”
Father spoke with a look of sadness on his face.
The sound of him scratching away at the documents echoed through the room.
After Father’s words, five minutes passed without any further conversation.
Since he hadn’t told me to leave, I was wondering if it was alright to just stay like this.
Maybe, it would be better to set aside some time during dinner…
“Aike.”
Just as those thoughts crossed my mind, Father spoke first.
“You know what the situation is like right now.”
Before I knew it, Father was looking at me.
His unwavering, deep blue eyes, even darker than mine, seemed to see through everything I wanted to say.
“Yes.”
“I think there must be a reason why you didn’t stay in Arcana in such a situation.”
So, with his gaze prompting me to explain, I took a breath and opened my mouth.
“I want to become stronger than I am now.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to regret losing precious people anymore, and I don’t want to see people being sad.”
Upon hearing my answer, Father…
“…I see.”
Though it was weak, a smile was definitely forming on his face.
