I Saved the Demon King Who Was About to Commit Suicide – Chapter 3

A week had passed since the training began.

With each passing day, the intensity of the training was increasing.

On the first day, I faced ten Holy Knights, but now I had to contend with over twenty.

‘It’s been a week. How much more of this do I have to endure?’

Thanks to the Power of Destruction, Evan’s body remained unscathed, but his mind was deteriorating day by day.

It was the guilt of having to kill people every single day that weighed heavily on him.

By the fourth day, I couldn’t take it anymore and begged the Pope to bring the Saintess to save the dying Holy Knights.

– “That would defeat the purpose of this training, wouldn’t it?”

The response was a clear refusal.

Ultimately, it meant he had to continue this hellish training.

‘I wish the people in front of me were at least bad folks.’

The body of Evan, imbued with fierce magical power, moved.

With a series of swift attacks, the Holy Knights began to fall one by one.

The blood flowing from the corpses pooled onto the ground.

He could feel the lives of the still-living dwindling away.

The pungent smell of blood filled the training ground.

…It made him feel sick.

‘Disgusting.’

You, who justify murder in the name of stopping the Demon King.

And me, who is getting accustomed to killing.

All of it.

“Let’s call it a day.”

Only after all the Holy Knights had fallen did the Pope declare the end of training.

“Well done, Evan. You may go back and rest now.”

“…Yes.”

*

After finishing training at the training ground, it was already late, and the sun had set.

Evan walked towards his lodging.

Normally, the Apostles would return to their rooms to sleep, but…

He knocked on the door to a different room instead.

“Excuse me.”

“Oh my, you’re here again today?”

The woman in the room greeted him with a bright voice, familiar with his visits.

She had the pointed ears and green hair typical of elves, along with yellow eyes.

Although she wasn’t as beautiful as the Saintess, she was one of the Apostles like Evan.

The Apostle of the deity of lush greenery, Natura—Sharon Taylor.

“If you keep coming into a woman’s room at this hour, people might think something odd is going on…”

“Please, stop making those weird comments with that face. What odd thing could I possibly be doing?”

“Isn’t it a guarantee that you might be doing something odd?”

Sharon hugged him from behind, whispering mischievously in his ear.

“I’ve said it before, but I really don’t like elves.”

“But I like Evan!”

“Please don’t tease. I’m really tired right now.”

Evan squinted his eyes at her continued teasing.

“What a shame. Your reaction is so fun; I wanted to tease you a little more.”

“Can’t you play around during the day?”

“Hee-. Does Evan play around during the day?”

Sharon asked while swinging her hands up and down.

“I do not!”

“I was just kidding. But your sensitive reaction makes me wonder if maybe…?”

“Please…”

Feeling a headache creeping in, Evan frowned.

The elves he had read about in books were supposed to be ethereal beings…

The woman before him was anything but.

Every time she visited, she would throw out strange jokes without warning…

It felt more plausible to call her a lust-crazed succubus instead.

“Alright, alright. You’ve come again today to ask for that, haven’t you?”

“…Yes. I’d like to ask you for a favor.”

“Got it. Lie down here.”

Following Sharon’s words, Evan laid on the bed.

Then, her hand moved toward him, touching his forehead.

The warmth of her hand transmitted through the skin met with his skin.

“Still scared to sleep because of nightmares?”

“…Yes. Every time I try to sleep, nightmares keep coming.”

The nightmare that had started the day he first killed someone.

Every time he tried to close his eyes, the faces of the Holy Knights he had slain haunted him, preventing Evan from drifting into slumber.

It had been three days without sleep.

Sharon discovered Evan, who was nearly half-dead, and provided him with some healing so he could sleep peacefully.

Since then, he had been visiting her every night to get help sleeping.

“It seems like the symptoms are pretty severe, so you’ll need to take some herbs again tonight.”

Sharon took out one of the many herbs from her spatial pocket and handed it to him.

“Thank you.”

While Evan received the herb and started to chew it, Sharon said.

“But now that I think about it, I’m curious about something.”

“What’s that?”

“If it’s about the nightmares, it might be better to go to the Apostle of Twilight rather than me. I wonder why you insist on coming to me…”

The mention of the Apostle of Twilight brought to Evan’s mind a figure he had seen once.

An old man who had been sitting in a corner the first time they met.

His appearance was no different from other elderly men, but he carried an aura that made it hard to approach him.

“…I’ve received treatment from Sharon, and it’s especially hard to approach the Apostle of Twilight.”

“Then I guess I’m a comfortable option?”

“If you weren’t making such strange jokes and playing around, being with you would be comfortable.”

“Ah, Evan’s reaction is so fun that it’s hard not to make strange jokes.”

Sharon leaned over Evan, who was lying on the bed.

“By the way, humans say that if a man and woman share a bed for the night, a baby is born…”

“Sharon, please…”

“Since we didn’t share a bed last time, should we try it out today?”

As she said this, she got a little closer.

Eventually, unable to endure Sharon’s teasing any longer, Evan kicked off the bed.

“…I’ll sleep in my own room tonight. I feel like if I stay next to you, I might end up in some weird situation while I’m asleep.”

“You slept beside me just fine until yesterday.”

“I’m just going to sleep in my room from now on. I’ll just take the herbs next time.”

With a somewhat angry face, Evan left the room.

Watching him leave, a small smile crept onto Sharon’s lips.

“Really, even when he’s angry, he’s cute…”

*

…Having taken the herb, Evan had about 50 minutes left to fall asleep.

Not wanting to just lay there until then, Evan stepped outside the building for a walk.

And in his daze, he let his thoughts flow.

‘I can’t keep relying on herbs forever.’

He didn’t want to admit it, but there were things about the Pope’s words that he had no choice but to accept.

If he continued to feel guilt after killing every single person, he would live his life plagued by nightmares.

That would make him dependent on the herbs, and ultimately, he’d be left as a shell of a person who couldn’t sleep without them.

‘If this continues during the journey…’

That would be the worst.

If he fell asleep after taking herbs and an enemy ambushed him, he would definitely die before even waking up.

But.

‘If I were to feel no guilt for killing, wouldn’t that make me no different from a murderer…?’

That was especially true given he killed innocent Holy Knights, not people who had committed grave sins.

Isn’t it strange to have no guilt in that case?

While Evan was feeling frustrated with these unanswered questions, wandering around the garden in front of the lodging…

“Evan?”

Someone called out to him.

Turning his gaze, he noticed silvery hair shimmering in the moonlight.

Then, captivating blue eyes that resembled the sea held his attention.

“Saintess…?”

It was the Saintess.

She looked at him with a worried expression.

“You’re still awake at this hour… Do you have worries on your mind?”

“Well… uh…”

Evan’s lips moved as if wanting to say something, but the words caught in his throat and wouldn’t come out.

‘Isn’t the Saintess a noble person?’

Someone who walks the path of the brightest light.

That being the Saintess, Evan hesitated to pour out his current worries to her.

Even if there was justification for capturing the Demon King, murder is a sin.

A heinous crime that carries a heavy punishment even for just one life.

To commit such a crime against dozens, especially innocent and virtuous lives, he felt he was an unforgivable villain no matter how many times he might die.

“…No, it’s nothing.”

Just then, as Evan was about to turn to head back to his room…

The Saintess grabbed his wrist.

“You have worries, don’t you?”

“Really, it’s nothing like that… I’m fine…”

“With that troubled look on your face?”

The Saintess tightened her hold on his wrist and continued.

“No one can bear it all alone, Evan. You can tell me anything; don’t endure it by yourself…”

Evan wanted to reassure her that he was okay, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it.

He wanted to maintain a calm expression, but his face twisted.

He tried to hold back tears, but ultimately, a single tear rolled down his cheek.

It had become too hard to bear any longer.

“…I’m sorry.”

Tears that had fallen one by one began to flow like a stream.

“It’s alright. Everyone has tough times.”

The Saintess smiled gently, pulling Evan close and patting his back.

“You can let it all out; feel free to cry.”

*

After about ten minutes of shedding tears, Evan stopped crying and began to pour out his worries.

“So, that’s how I ended up here.”

After sharing everything with the Saintess, Evan looked for her reaction.

He thought she would hate him, being a villain who committed unforgivable sins.

“To have such worries and not be able to say them… It must have been tough, Evan.”

But contrary to his expectations, what came back was a word of comfort.

“…Yes. Since I was still awkward around the others, I had no place to voice my deep troubles. I never imagined my first person to confide in would be someone I thought I couldn’t.”

“Haha, if it was burdensome to share your worries with me, consider this conversation a confession instead.”

The Saintess flashed a bright smile and continued.

“…I believe you don’t need to carry such a heavy burden of guilt, Evan.”

“Even after killing people?”

“Those people didn’t die because of you. They ‘sacrificed’ themselves.”

“Sacrifice…?”

“Yes. Those who bravely gave their lives to protect their loved ones from the evil threatening the entire Aisha continent chose to enhance the Power of Destruction that you possess. They asked you to protect this world for their beloved ones, as they felt they couldn’t be of much help in the battle against the Demon King.”

The Saintess looked at Evan’s wrist.

There, the markings were now more vivid than before.

“So, instead of suffering from guilt, why don’t you strive harder for the sake of those who sacrificed themselves?”

A long-standing problem that had plagued him throughout the day, Evan felt as if he had finally found the answer.

“…Thank you for your guidance, Saintess.”

Evan bowed his head, expressing gratitude to her.

“I merely listened to you. Now, it’s getting cold, so you should head inside and rest.”

“Yes. I hope you also have a warm night, Saintess.”