I’m Really Not Trying to Be Chased by the Heroine as the Villainous Playboy! – Chapter 708

Chapter 90: Alice’s Hope

In the darkness, the blonde girl curled up tightly, resembling a little dog frozen and barely breathing.

This position looked terribly uncomfortable.

Though I was right beside her, it felt like there was an invisible barrier that made her prefer this posture over getting closer to me.

Her sleeping face was something I had grown accustomed to seeing these past few days.

However, her long, delicate lashes now glistened with dewdrops. Her face, which should have been as peaceful as an angel’s, was slightly twisted.

She had fought fiercely before without batting an eye, but now she showed this heartbreakingly painful expression.

Leaving me to go to the Holy Light Church was excruciating for Alice.

Yet, even so, she still agreed to Simon’s invitation.

For a long time, I had thought of Alice as a docile little sheep, always obedient to me.

But just like she resolutely stated that she would protect me next time danger arose, Alice had her own convictions deep down.

That’s the brilliance of the Intelligent Angel.

That guy must not have coerced her but rather offered suggestions, handing the choice over to Alice.

Traveling to the church, just to save herself, was indeed Alice’s personal will.

This meant that whether I commanded her as a master or pleaded with her as a guard, her determination would remain unchanging.

However, I never intended to force her.

Just as I said before, everything should be decided by Alice, so I just needed to change Alice’s decision, right?

To persuade Alice to have a change of heart, I needed to understand her true desires first.

This was exactly what I struggled to comprehend.

As a maid, she should just obediently listen and push all responsibilities onto the master.

As a saint, she should act freely and capriciously command her guard.

If going to the church caused her so much pain, why would she sacrifice so much for me?

Thinking this way, I felt restless, my chest burning with a desire to press the girl beside me into an embrace and ravage her.

Alice was never a child good at expressing her feelings, so asking her would be pointless.

But reaching her inner self wasn’t entirely hopeless.

I tiptoed out of bed and began rummaging through Alice’s belongings.

Soon, I found a somewhat worn diary.

Normally, invading someone’s diary is pretty rude, but in extraordinary times, extraordinary measures apply.

Within it was written Alice’s true feelings, never shown to me, certainly holding clues to explain her motivations.

Alice, why are you going to such lengths?

I took a deep breath and focused on opening Alice’s diary.

The first page was torn away.

The first written entry simply read: “I want to be the master’s little dog.”

“……？？？”

Could it be that my training methods were flawed from the very beginning?!

The weight of that opening sentence made me hesitate to turn any further.

Fortunately, the content that followed seemed rather normal.

“The master is a good person. He provides Alice with food, shelter, and even goes out with Alice. Meeting the master is the happiest thing for Alice. I wish these days could last forever.”

“Today is the day the master goes on a blind date. I heard that the blind date is with the princess. The master is so exceptional; he will surely win her favor.”

“The master and the princess got along quite well and even arranged to dance together. I’m a little envious of the master getting to dance with the princess… but before the princess, as a maid, Alice can still be a practice partner for the master, which is already pretty good.”

“The master kissed Charlotte. At that moment, the master looked so happy. Princess Charlotte is elegant and beautiful, incredibly talented, and nobleborn. It’s perfectly natural for the master to like such an outstanding girl. Alice is also happy; it’s only natural to feel happy for the master’s happiness…”

Only natural.

That was a phrase Alice often said.

This page of the diary was noticeably crumpled, clearly dampened by tears.

What kind of mood was she in when she wrote these words, forcing herself to believe everything was only natural?

My breath grew heavy as I forced myself to keep reading.

What might be merely a page or two for me was Alice’s daily life, moment by moment. To understand her true feelings, I had to understand all of her.

“The master kissed Nia too. Nia is cheerful and sunny, with a nice figure. When the master is with her, his smile increases. Though this means less time for Alice to be seen by the master, it’s okay; Alice will obediently endure.”

“The master has a new girl now. Senior Leanna was initially not kind to the master, but since the master likes her, as a maid, I should respect his opinions. Besides, Senior Leanna is indeed very competent… If only I could be as competent as her.”

“The master is with Xue Nuo. This is unavoidable. Teacher Xue Nuo is also beautiful, extraordinarily capable, and most importantly, she has fought alongside the master; it’s only natural he’d be attracted to her. Alice is just a maid; in terms of appearance, power, and status, I’m far inferior. It’s only natural for the master not to pay attention to me like he does to them… But that’s okay; as long as I can be by the master’s side like this, it’s enough.”

“As a maid, I’ve already received enough from the master. But sometimes, Alice still wonders… why can’t it be me?”

“Why can’t he look at me like he does with them? Why can’t he hug me like he does with them? Why can’t he kiss me like he does with them…?”

“I’m sorry; Alice is indeed a bad child.”

I shut my eyes, feeling a rush of conflicting emotions.

I obviously couldn’t empathize with the pangs of heartache and bitterness suppressed in every line.

For me, it was just a few scattered sentences, but for the girl, it represented every sleepless night filled with unexpressed sorrow.

Each night, Alice went to bed with this burden, facing the next day with the bright disposition she could muster.

I always thought Alice’s thoughts were simple and could easily be satisfied.

I never considered that behind her seemingly simple and even childish requests lay dreams she couldn’t dare to hope for.

The one who needed to apologize was never her.

I opened my eyes again and laboriously flipped to the last page of the diary.

That was the day before we set off from the Academy City.

The melancholic thoughts vanished, and the melodic entries sparkled like stars, filled with long-lost hope.

“Alice wants to help the master win the Trial of the Saints. I want to become a saint for the master. How fortunate! This is so wonderful that Alice can hardly believe it. The trial may be tough, but that’s okay; as long as it’s for the master, Alice will surely hold on. After winning the trial, I won’t just be a maid; I’ll be a saint, and Alice’s wish will surely come true!”

Wanting a head pat, wanting an embrace, wanting to share a bed, wanting never to part, wanting to care for him, wanting to grow stronger for him, wanting to participate in the Trial of the Saints, and now sacrificing herself to go all alone to the Holy Light Church…

Stripping away all facades and complications, Alice’s willingness to go this far was never because of the responsibilities of a maid or a saint.

It was simply the most innocent desire of a girl— the warm hope she left at the end of her diary.

“Alice wants to be Roy’s girl.”