This World is too Cruel to Men – Chapter 129

Eventually, when the despair of having messed things up pressed down on my head like a heavy weight, I found myself lowering my gaze.

The warmth that cautiously covered my hand was like the heat from a campfire, or even warmer.

And then, it began to gently pat the back of my hand.

“It’s okay. Senior.”

That patting felt vaguely reminiscent of my mother’s touch, lingering in my memories.

“I don’t really know why you’re like this… but it’ll be okay.”

Unlike my dad’s skilled hands, which were full of confidence, this came with an awkwardness that somehow made it feel even more touching.

So… I felt a surge of emotion.

I didn’t want to be like this.

I only wanted to show you a reliable and admirable side of me.

You, the person named Dogun, keep shaking me up.

You shake me, making me want to lean on you.

Wanting to lean on you, and also making me lean on you.

You, more than anyone.

“…Isn’t it funny? A girl whose goal is to be a hero is trembling like this just from hearing a thunderclap?”

“What’s wrong with that? It’s completely understandable.”

The words of encouragement escaped in a dull tone.

So, just as Dogun said, it did feel like something that could happen.

There was a certain force behind Dogun’s voice.

A power that made me believe his words for some unknown reason.

As Dogun observed me for a moment, seemingly wanting to express something embarrassing, he scratched his cheek shyly.

And then—

“And… to be honest, I’m scared of snow too. Well.”

He let out the surprising confession.

“Snow?”

“Yeah. I mean, not this snow, but the kind that falls from the sky.”

Scared of snow, huh?

It was the first time I’d learned that, and it struck me as somewhat unexpected.

Moreover, it didn’t seem like a casual comment just to comfort me, so I naturally became curious.

What made him particularly scared of that?

Could it be that Dogun experienced something terrible on a snowy day?

For instance, maybe he slipped and hurt himself badly when it was snowing…

Feeling inquisitive, as I stared at Dogun, he, too, was looking at me directly but then averted his gaze, looking embarrassed.

“No, it’s just… when it snows, the ground gets icy and slippery. When I walk on it, I can’t help but think, what if I slip here…”

So, that was the reason.

Upon hearing that, I felt relieved.

If it was something bad that happened in the past, I wouldn’t know how to encourage Dogun at that moment.

“Only you, Senior, know that I don’t like snow, okay? So please keep it a secret from others.”

I had no intention of spreading secrets.

It’s not like I have a hobby of blabbering about other people’s secrets.

Let alone if it’s Dogun’s.

By the way, the fact that he only told me this… could it mean that Yoonseo doesn’t know about it?

In that instant, my heavy heart lightened, but it probably wasn’t the case.

After all, they’ve been together for ten years.

That means they’ve shared several winters together, so unless Yoonseo was unusually oblivious, she would have noticed that.

So she probably knows.

She must know, but like Dogun just said, it’s likely the first time he’s directly expressed it in words.

That difference sparked a sense of superiority, like a tiny sprout growing inside my heart.

And perhaps it was the reason why, since that day, specifically after the investigation regarding my parents was left unresolved, I had opened my mouth to say something I had never revealed to anyone.

And the beginning of it was—

“…By the way, didn’t you ask me why I wanted to become a hero last time?”

It was impulsive.

“Why is your goal to be a hero?”

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“…By the way, didn’t you ask me why I wanted to become a hero last time?”

Yes, I clearly remembered that happening.

In fact, it had happened twice.

The first time was a lighthearted question, and the second time was with a serious tone.

After seeing my senior’s face go stiff with fear in response to my question, I had never brought it up again.

So, I had assumed there was something he couldn’t talk about, but could it be related to how he acted earlier?

Maybe that was it, I thought.

“Is it not because once you become a Second-Class hero, you get the right to access research materials and information held by the Association?”

The response that followed was completely different from what I had anticipated.

And it was information I didn’t know about.

The right to access information, huh.

I wondered if there was even a use for it.

Unless it was to find material for training, it didn’t seem likely to be used much aside from that.

In any case, the fact that this topic came up suggested that there was a connection between my senior’s goal of becoming a hero and that right to access information.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. But even though you have the right, it doesn’t mean you can comb through all the materials in the Association. I heard that you really need to be a Special-Class to barely access the really important documents.”

“I see.”

Well, that made sense.

There are ranks of heroes ranging from Fifth-Class to Special-Class; thus, being a Second-Class hero, which is above Fourth-Class and below Third-Class, could be considered upper tier but is rather ambiguous in terms of being pivotal.

To put it simply, Second-Class heroes aren’t exactly in a position where they can easily substitute anyone.

But would they really allow such individuals free access to the Association’s confidential materials?

The higher-ups of the Association couldn’t be that foolish.

In any case, given how detailed my senior’s explanations were, it seemed he truly desired to learn something using that right to access information, but what exactly could that be?

“There exists a database within the Association that records information on everyone who has awakened their talents.”

Also, if he could verify that, it would be a piece of cake to find out who awakened what talent when.

Moreover, it was also possible to filter talents based on certain criteria and see who holds them.

At that point, playing ignorant would be impossible.

There was no denying that what my senior had said and explained was pointing to a singular goal.

“You’re trying to find someone.”

“…That’s right.”

The expression on my senior’s face slowly nodded in agreement with my words, showing a sense of relief as if he had unburdened himself, yet at the same time, he looked like someone who had transcended something.

Therefore, I couldn’t do anything but remain silent.

After all, considering the mindset and attitude my senior exhibited during training, the reason couldn’t possibly be trivial.

So, I had been silent until now — but perhaps my reaction had appeared odd to him.

My senior was the one to break the silence with a question.

“Aren’t you curious? Why I’m trying to find those people?”

“Well… I am curious.”

“But then why…?”

Was he trying to ask why I hadn’t inquired about it?

That was probably the intent behind his question.

Before he could finish, I tightened my grip where our hands overlapped, effectively interrupting him.

Thus, I felt a gentle tremor traveling through my hand as I spoke up.

“I didn’t want to ask because you looked troubled.”

“…Me?”

My senior’s expression was one of utter disbelief, but… unlike that perfectly crafted expression, his body wasn’t so composed.

The subtle, fidgety movements of the hand trapped in my grip were proof of that.

“So… you can stop now.”

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“So… you can stop now.”

Truly, you are… different.

If it had been someone else in this position besides Dogun, such a suggestion wouldn’t have occurred.

Maybe… they would have even pushed me further.

Secrets are that alluring, and curiosity is such a powerful emotion.

However, Dogun didn’t do that.

Even though he must have been curious, rather than seeking to fulfill his own curiosity first, he was instead examining my reaction, piercing through the mask I thought was perfect.

That’s why I grew curious.

Could he still maintain that demeanor even after hearing the true objective I hadn’t fully revealed?

After knowing that, would he still look at me with those eyes?

I wanted to find out—

“My parents… were murdered. When I was young.”

I let it slip.

I messed it up.

I blurted it out.