This World is too Cruel to Men – Chapter 160

I stood in front of the door, staring at the name tag on the wall.

It wasn’t anything special.

Since I found out that Yoonseo’s hospital room was on the same floor, it often felt like this.

After all, every time I saw that familiar name boldly displayed on the tag, such thoughts crossed my mind.

What if it wasn’t ‘Yoonseo’ written there, but a different name?

Would I still have stopped by here before leaving the hospital?

Probably.

No, I was certain of it.

Because I would have wanted to receive encouragement.

I would have wanted to hear words of strength from your lips.

And there would have been Yoonseo right beside you.

She would have been guarding your side defiantly, growling like a puppy that was wary of strangers who approached in the morning.

…I really wished it had been like that.

Just imagining it was enough to make my heart swell with happiness, and I felt a wave of nausea wash over me.

So, before that sensation spread outwards, I hurriedly suppressed it and buried it in a corner of my heart.

Because this wasn’t the time to dwell on such things.

There wasn’t much time left.

Still, there was no particular reason for coming this far…

I just wanted to confirm something.

I simply wanted to hear from your own mouth what you had been doing when Dogun was in that state.

If I asked like that, what would you say?

Would you excuse yourself, saying you couldn’t help it?

Or might you get angry, asking what I knew?

Perhaps… you might even say you were sorry.

I was eager to see which of the three it would be.

Even if I ended up hearing something I couldn’t accept, it didn’t matter.

It would surely be better than staying in the frustrating state I was in right now.

Despite thinking that, I couldn’t bring myself to open the door and step inside because something kept holding me back.

It felt as if a part of me was pleading not to.

My feet felt glued to the ground, unwilling to budge.

And the moment I tried to forcefully pull them away to move—

The door creaked open with a sound.

At first, I felt a twinge of nervousness.

“Hmm?”

I relaxed upon hearing the voice that came after.

“Excuse me, may I ask why you are here…?”

Could it be… my father?

That was likely the case.

“…Excuse me?”

Now, what should I say?

I didn’t think I could tell the truth.

If I spoke honestly here, it was highly likely they wouldn’t let me inside.

“Ah… are you Yoonseo’s father?”

“Yes, that’s correct, but…”

“It’s nothing much. I’m scheduled to be discharged today, so I just wanted to briefly stop by and see her before leaving.”

Having said that, I planned to casually ask, “May I come in?”

If the feeling of awkwardness that arose on the other’s face hadn’t hit me before I opened my mouth, I surely would have.

“What should I do? Our Yoonseo just fell asleep.”

“Ah…”

Our Yoonseo.

A bitter smile threatened to break through.

Thanks to that, I could realize anew.

Unlike someone else, I was completely alone here.

‘You still know how to make others jealous…’

Now that there’s no one beside me… Every time I realize that fact, it chills me to the bone… Why is it that only your surroundings remain so warm?

Why do you continue to live in a world that feels so comforting?

If only I hadn’t let you go back then, if only I had clung to you stubbornly, would things have turned out differently?

Would it still have ended up like this?

…Probably.

Considering their relationship, even if I had clung to him, Dogun would have eventually left.

He would have departed with an expression that looked guilty, apologizing for having other commitments.

Thinking about that, I found myself hating the sight of you lying comfortably in the hospital room once again.

No, to be fair, it wasn’t the first time.

It wasn’t new… this feeling had existed from the moment we first met.

That day, when we stumbled upon each other on the training ground for the first time, your eyes sparkled with certainty and confidence, unlike someone who was lost and wandering.

And as I got to know Dogun and spent more time with him, that annoyance gradually transformed into a different emotion.

And now, at this very moment, that emotion was swirling within my heart.

“…I understand. In that case, there’s nothing I can do.”

“I feel really sorry for sending you away like this after you came all the way here… Would you like me to convey something for you?”

“No, it’s fine. I can come again later.”

I slowly moved away from the hospital room without showing my feelings.

When the person who seemed to be my father stepped aside, possibly to go to the bathroom, if I hadn’t heard rustling sounds from inside the room, I might have followed the Association employee straight out of the hospital.

‘Didn’t you say she was sleeping?’

Then what’s that sound?

Is it possible she wasn’t actually asleep but pretending?

But why?

Given the situation, I felt I couldn’t simply retreat like before.

So I cautiously scanned my surroundings, then headed back towards the hospital room.

I pushed the closed door aside and stepped inside… Even though I clearly heard the sound of entering, I saw a shadow of someone standing still in front of the window without any movement.

“What? Are you planning to jump out or something?”

Seeing that figure made the words slip out naturally.

The stillness was finally broken by that remark.

“You can jump?”

“You…?”

The appearance of the person I faced was quite a sight.

Firstly, their hair was all disheveled, making it hard to see their face.

As a result, the glimpses of their face looked as though they hadn’t slept for days.

Did they not expect me to come over?

An expression of astonishment spread across their poorly groomed face.

Regardless of that, I continued with what I wanted to say.

“I came to ask.”

A sentence that omitted everything before and after.

“I came to ask, but… maybe there’s no need to.”

Yet, seeing their shoulders jerk in response as if they had heard an unwelcome question was plenty enough to predict what kind of answer I would get.

I was aware it was predictable… yet I still chose to ask.

“Still, I’ll ask. What on earth did you do?”

What had you been doing when Dogun was in that state?

“Me… I…”

“That day was your birthday, right? So you must have been together when the rift started occurring.”

“I… I didn’t know…”

“Did you run away? Did you flee out of fear?”

Is that why you’re acting like this?

Is that why you seem incapable of speaking coherently?

If that was the case, I could never forgive you for it.

The way you acted as if you were the tragic protagonist, carrying all the pain alone, was utterly pathetic.

“I can’t understand a single thing you’re saying, so stop stammering and speak clearly.”

My tone had sharpened, probably due to that impact.

“I…! I said I didn’t know…! I didn’t know that something had happened to Dogun…!”

“What?”

“I just thought… you forgot our promised meeting… So I got angry…”

What on earth are you saying?

I couldn’t understand because of the incessant stumbling in their words.

However… there was one thing that was unmistakably clear; they didn’t appear to be honest.

If only you were sincere, and if things had truly turned out that way due to your lack of ability or circumstances, perhaps I could have understood you someday.

However, now that things had turned out like this, I doubted that would ever happen.

And faintly, having learned the truth of that day, I felt there was no longer any reason to remain here.

It was clear, hearing bits and pieces that there had been some misunderstanding between the two, possibly leading to a fight… But if it was that, was there really a need to hear more?

From here on out, it was bound to consist of nothing but excuses.

I was sure of it, so—

“Uh… Seolhwa? It’s time to really get going…”

I turned towards the Association employee who had come looking for me.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Just before following the employee who looked anxious to leave the hospital, I paused and added, “But… how long are you going to keep doing this? Forever?”

Needless to say, no answer came back.

Perhaps due to being panicked, they had become unable to hear my voice.

Either way, it didn’t matter.

After all, part of that statement was made to myself as well.

“Yeah, if you want to do that, then keep it up.”

“…”

“I’ll take care of Dogun’s revenge myself… You just stay there for the rest of your life.”

With that resolve, I followed the employee who had now sealed their lips toward the testing center.