This World is too Cruel to Men – Chapter 240

Dogun’s Perspective

I had secured the flowers, so all that was left was for the photo to be taken… but what can I say, I had an oddly ambiguous amount of time left.

So, what should I do to kill time… I was pondering that when…

“Um… Dogun, if you’re okay with it…”

Before I could finish my thoughts, my senior offered up a suggestion.

That suggestion was nothing less than to go in early and say hello.

‘Is that really okay?’

But wouldn’t that mean I’d have to come back out halfway?

The moment I heard my senior’s suggestion, those questions flashed through my mind, but for now, I decided to go along with it.

If I had spotted a cafe or something nearby, I might have suggested waiting inside until I got a call saying the photo was ready, but it seemed there was nothing around in this sparsely populated outskirts.

And so… I followed my senior into a building that, unlike a crematorium, had a stylish and neat exterior.

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Baeksulhwa’s Perspective

I’ve visited this place as many as four times in a month, yet no matter how many times I came here, I still couldn’t adapt.

And that one thing, no matter what happened, would never change.

What does it matter if the exterior and interior of the building are stylish and neatly decorated?

Just because it looks grand and sophisticated doesn’t change the purpose of this building at all.

Every time I visit, I think that there’s something about the air in this place that feels distinctly different from the outside.

Perhaps it’s a bit heavier, one might say.

Maybe that’s why, every time I step inside, my body tenses up unpredictably, and my expression hardens.

It’s like I’m being choked, really.

Other than that feeling, which remained unchanged this time too, what was different was that this time, I wasn’t alone like I usually was.

And from Dogun’s perspective, the face that had been relatively fine just moments before turned rigid the instant we stepped into the crematorium. So perhaps he couldn’t just stand still.

In that brief moment, Dogun’s fingers, which had stiffened, gently prodded at me.

Was he trying to let me know he was right beside me?

It was a movement that felt like a knock on the door.

Strangely enough, that utterly trivial touch made the tension that had been dwelling inside me dissipate in an instant.

Before, I’d never managed to relax until we left this building…

But now, I felt like I could maybe smile in front of Mom and Dad.

It was that freeing…

“Then… should we go?”

“Yeah.”

With my mind feeling much lighter, I led Dogun to where my parents were.

To be honest?

I didn’t particularly like coming here.

And it was no wonder; every time I visited, it struck me to the core that I would never see Mom and Dad again.

So, visiting this place usually coincided with feeling down or having something bad happen.

When the pain was too great to bear alone, I would come here, chat away in front of my smiling Mom and Dad for hours, and then weakly make my exit.

But today felt somewhat different.

Maybe it was because it was my first time visiting with someone by my side.

When I had come before, my steps had always been heavy, but today wasn’t quite like that.

Perhaps that’s why I started to notice other things.

Like Dogun, who was lagging slightly behind, matching my steady pace.

With every step he took, the sound of his footsteps echoed differently against the walls of the building, heavier than mine.

And every time I heard that sound spill into my ears, a strange feeling wrapped around me.

It couldn’t be helped.

Though there was no intention to do so, with the situation unfolding this way, it felt like I was taking Dogun to introduce him to my parents.

“Uh…”

So, as a result, every step made my face increasingly hot, and I had a hard time trying to calm myself down.

Eventually, we somehow arrived in front of where my parents were…

“Uh… um…”

Only then did that thought strike me.

What if Dogun felt awkward in this situation?

It was understandable; unlike me, Dogun probably wasn’t familiar with scenes like this.

Only those who had never experienced it would not know how exhausting it is when there’s no feedback in a conversation you can’t hope for or expect.

Because of that, I once again worried about Dogun’s state and turned to look at him, only to be met with him first asking when I was planning to introduce him.

“Oh, right… just a sec…”

The situation was a bit different from what I had expected, so I momentarily stumbled over my words, but quickly regained my composure and greeted Mom and Dad.

The call from the mobile phone had come right in the midst of that.

At first, I thought about going to fetch it personally.

It was meant for me, and I was worried about having asked for a favor without Dogun’s knowledge.

So, I aimed to move myself, but in the end, there was no way I could do that.

Before I could bring it up with Dogun, he had already said he would go instead, telling me to feel free to chat.

Maybe he felt like I was watching him too closely, and that bothered him.

But that wasn’t it.

Anyway, thanks to Dogun’s actions, I couldn’t help but feel flustered for a moment, but I couldn’t ask him to come back after he had already left, so I took a deep breath and continued the conversation we had started.

“That boy’s name, I mentioned it earlier, right? As you can see, Dogun is really… nice. You know how Dad always told me. That the heart is more important than looks…”

I wondered how Dad would view Dogun.

Suddenly that thought popped into my mind, making the disappointment of not being able to expect a meaningful conversation feel even heavier today.

Dad would surely tease me, saying, “Has my daughter really grown up this much?” while secretly liking Dogun…

As for Mom, of course she’d fall head over heels for him.

“I think I mentioned it before? How much Dogun helped me? Like, he helped me like it was his own issue?”

My throat felt oddly warm.

So I swallowed hard and continued, “And I… passed the hero qualification test? And I ranked top. Mom, you know Seoul’s area is the toughest, right?”

It’s strange how I felt tense even though no one was watching.

“My daughter has become a hero.”

For some reason, it just felt that way.

“Thanks to Dogun’s help, I could do it. Dogun is… that kind of guy. And…”

“And…”

“And… he’s the one I like.”

Isn’t that pretty cool?

The man my mom and dad’s daughter has a crush on is like this.

Sure, there are a lot of competitors… but that just means he’s an amazing person.

So you don’t need to worry too much.

Some words I couldn’t dare say out loud, worried that someone might overhear, just swirled around in my head.

What’s funny is that even without actually saying those words, just thinking about them made my face feel like it was on fire.

So much so that I couldn’t help but find Yoonseo’s actions admirable.

Just thinking about saying I liked someone made me this embarrassed and shy, while how could Yoonseo so casually do those things?

Is she not embarrassed at all?

…That can’t be true.

Yoonseo must feel embarrassed too.

Probably just as much as me, but despite that, she would work through it.

That’s when it hit me.

If I wanted to be by Dogun’s side, I couldn’t stay in this state.

If I just did nothing and stayed quiet? If I didn’t put in effort?

In the end, I would be left behind.

So it’s time for a change.

I have to step up so I won’t fall behind.

What should I do to not lag behind?

I think I need to express myself more actively.

Even if it’s embarrassing.